My Cinema Bugbears.

Went to the cinema yesterday to see Get Out. There was a healthy crowd there which was no surprise as there's been a lot of hype about the film. Happily it lived up to the hype too. Thought provoking and scary and fun.

One thing ruined it though. The pair of absolute fucking melts behind me who insisted on talking throughout the film. I asked them to be quiet 3 times before I moved and after I moved I could still hear them. I was quite tempted to bounce my empty cherry Pepsi Max bottle off them but seeing as they were women and I'm not a total bollix I abstained.

Why do people do this? If you want to have a chat with a friend why not go to a pub or a coffee shop and do it properly. What kind of ape pays the bones of a tenner to sit in the dark and whisper loudly to the person next to them???  A pure dope that's who. And in the process piss off everyone around them. And another thing. Why don't more people get pissed off? I was the only one who said anything. I was the only one who moved. Am I too sensitive or are people just so afraid of confrontation that they will just sit there and let two people talking about trifle (Yup, trifle. Good jaysus, fuckin trifle talk) ruin a film they'd paid to see.

2 weeks ago i went to see Logan. I was giddy with excitement about this. Booked me cinema ticket weeks in advance and all. Being a true cinema nerd I have a favorite place to sit, slightly forward of the middle row and right in the middle so the screen fills my vision. I sat down and the screen filled up slowly. I was happy out. 15 minutes into the film a bloke walks in and complains loudly that there's no seats. 15 minutes!! (Red mist starts to form )Why would ya bother. Said bloke pulls out his phone and uses the torch (Red mist thickens) to find a seat very near the front. He sits down and puts the phone in his pocket. Grand. (Red mist dissipates) Just in time to see Hugh Jackman skewer some poor hooer's head on screen. Then not 30 seconds later fucko pulls out the phone again and proceeds to use it for the next 10 minutes (Red mist solidifies into a blood rage). Thankfully someone else hopped a load of popcorn off him and he copped on.

I know I'm whinging but cinema is my happy place.

When I'm in charge people will be beaten for these offences.

Vote for me.