Ready Player One

Every now and then a film appears on the horizon and the internet goes mad about it. Sadly the vast majority of the time it's angry mad and not good joyous mad. When news was announced that Steven Spielberg was adapting Ready Player One as a film teeth started gnashing. I haven't read the book so I had no idea about the hate. But as the anger grew I wanted it to be a good film just to piss people off. The recent trailer for it didn't inspire me with confidence but fuck it, it's Spielberg. A chap who tends not to disappoint. Hmmmm...

Wade is a young man living in Columbus, Ohio in 2045. The future is bad. So bad that people are just ignoring how crappy life is by spending all their waking hours in a virtual world known as the Oasis. A place where you can be anything you want to be. Wade is known as Parzival in the Oasis and his only friends are there too. James Halliday, the creator of the Oasis has hidden 3 keys throughout this made up world and if you are willing to work hard enough to find them the Oasis will belong to you. Can you see where this is going?

Ready Player One is the kind of film that would give a glass of solpadeine a migraine(If you see it in 3D there's a chance you'll die). It's just nonstop. 140(!) minutes of madness that moves like a racehorse. Every frame filled to busting with Easter eggs and treats. As a bombastic CGI fuelled spectacle it succeeds completely. That's it though. Its a treat for the eyes but there's no food here for the soul. It is utterly devoid of heart which makes caring about anyone in the film a tough proposition.

One thing Spielberg has always been good at is making sure his films have a emotional core. That's very absent here. In his films you cared about the protagonists. Alan Grant, Brody, Celie, Oskar, Indiana, hell he even made us well up over a robot in A.I. But here there's nothing, no one to connect with. No one to go a shit about. Wade isn't unlikeable, no he's worse, he's bland. A bland know it all. I know a lot of the blame for this has to fall on the source material but it's just missing Spielberg's magic touch, that little extra that got him to where he is today. Tye Sheridan as Wade is a totally forgettable hero. Ben Mendehlson as Nolan Serrento is a forgettable baddie. The only 2 people with a bit of life to them are Olivia Cooke as Artemis and Mark Rylance as James Halliday. You won't care about them exactly but you won't be annoyed when they are onscreen.

It has its moments though. The soundtrack is great. A crazy race scene involving some very famous movie monsters, a lovingly crafted recreation of a famous movie hotel lobby and the appearances of two cinematic icons, one from one of the most underrated films of the 90's and one from a cause celebré horror film of the 80's which gives the film it's its biggest laugh. Fun moments all but fun moments inspired by other better films. That's a big problem when the best parts of your film wouldn't exist without other movies. Parts of it reminded me of walking through a shop like Forbidden Planet and pointing out things I recognised on the shelves. "Oh there's Chun-Li and Blanka!" "Wow, the pulse rifle from Aliens." It's a whole load of little bits that ultimately adds up to nothing at all.

This film is a love letter to pop culture and especially the joys of online gaming. While simultaneously telling us that spending too much time there is not really a good thing. If you don't know that world a LOT of this is going to go over your head. But if you grew up in the 1980's and aren't bothered by soulless blockbusters then you might scrap some bit of enjoyment out of this.