Do you know what annoys me? Going to see a great film that finishes with a whimper instead of a bang. Do you what annoys me even more? Going to see a film that doesn't grip you at all until the last few minutes which then rock. How utterly headwrecking.
Isla Nublar is in trouble. A long dormant volcano is on the verge of a cataclysmic eruption which will wipe all life from the island including the dinosaurs still roaming the place freely after the events of 2015's Jurassic World. World powers are torn over what to do. Do these dinosaurs have a right to life even though they are genetically engineered? Or should they be left to go extinct again thus bringing their existence full circle? Dinosaur rights experts want to save them but darker forces are afoot. Dun dun dunnnnn.
I found this a fierce frustrating watch. First off it's a film of two definitive halves. The first is the Jurassic Park we know. Dinosaurs, jungles, close calls, chases, bit of human munching, stampedes, all that good stuff but there's a serious feeling of deja vu going on, a real been there, done that about proceedings. It's like watching a greatest hits collection consisting of reworked moments from the original film and it's sequel, The Lost World. Slimy lawyers, T-Rex interventions, a dark and rainy opening that goes all wrong, old rich men with white beards, big ships, big game hunters and a big cameo appearance. It's fun but it's all been done before. Then the second half arrives and the story heads off in a new direction and the film takes on a horror film veneer. It's new territory but that doesn't mean it's good territory.
It's dull as a matter of fact. And all built around two new characters (one human, one not) who add nothing to proceedings. In fact the human character could be lifted right out of the story and the outcome would be the exact same seeing as they only exist to add a family friendly face to the show. There's character revelations that you think might be leading to something crazy and cool but nothing happens with them & there's insanely stupid things that people do that no real person would do. Kudos to the film's writers for trying to do something new with the story but for me it just didn't work at all. The story and the wondrous creations filling it just doesn't lend itself to this type of finish. But then just when you think all is lost something happens in the last five minutes that opens up a world of possibilities and cool ideas. It's cynical sequel building but it got me excited. And annoyed. Why couldn't the rest of the film be this exciting? How can a film filled with the biggest creatures to ever walk the earth ever possibly be dull. Somehow this film manages it. Grrr.
Of course it's not all bad. A shooting star in the sky winks at Spielberg-ian roots. Chris Pratt is far more likable here than he was in the previous movie and Bryce Dallas Howard gets a lot more to do, and doesn't have to do it in high heels this time thankfully. Ted Levine as a hunter adds a bit of heft to an otherwise nothing part and we get a (disappointingly short) cameo from an actor much adored on the internet of late. In amongst all the CGI and noise there's thoughtful things said about the dangers of bending nature to fit human will and about how playing god never ever ends well. A fine piece of Wolf Of Wall Street inspired physical comedy hits the spot too. Then we have the beautifully sad moment of smoke and shadows that ends the first half of the movie. And there's always joy and ghoulish glee to be found in seeing just how the human baddies will get their comeuppance in the jaws of prehistoric beasts. Thankfully this film sheds the brutality seen in the last movie too. Oh people get chomped alright but there's nothing like the gruesomely OTT Pterodactyl/Irish woman moment.
It's just not enough though. The meh and the bad outweighs the good on this occasion. It's a disappointment and because I'm a sucker for both big budget blockbusters and prehistoric beasts it felt doubly disappointing. There's going to be another sequel without a doubt and if it goes in the direction I think it will this franchise could be revived mightily. It needs to be. Every successive sequel since the first film has lost some of the wonder of the original and it's a shame. Dinosaurs just deserve better.
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