Pushing my eye in until I feel something pop.
Getting in a ring with Katie Taylor and telling a god joke.
Watching Love Actually twice in a row.
Shitting myself in public after a lamb phaal and a feed of porter.
Touching a spider.
Getting spear tackled by Tana Umagu and Keven Mealamu.
Cleaning a bus station toilet bowl during stomach bug season.
Streaking across the Aviva on a cold day.
Attacking a wasps nest with a hurl.
Going to a Taylor Swift concert.
Growing and wearing a combover.
Getting kidney stones again.
Walking about in skinny jeans.
Spending 90 minutes in the company of Des Bishop.
Drinking a mug of warm bin juice.
Trying to give a cat a bath.
Running full pelt into a crotch high bollard.
All things I'd find preferable to seeing the pope.
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