Aquaman

There's a part in Aquaman where a gigantic octopus plays the drums. Nope, I wasn't watching The Snorks or Spartacus And The Sun Beneath The Sea. It happened in Aquaman, DC Comics latest installment in the Justice League universe. A Christmas holiday blockbuster reportedly costing $200 million has a scene with an octopus lashing into a drumkit. It's amazing. If you can get past a scene as silly as that you'll get on fine with Aquaman. If not, it's probably best to stop reading now.

Arthur Curry (Jason Momoa) is a mongrel. Half human and half Atlantean. He's as comfortable on dry land as he is underwater and his hybrid status has embued him with all manner of superpowers. While he's living it up on the Atlantic coast of North America his half brother Orm (Patrick Wilson) is underwater in the lost city of Atlantis planning an attack on the human race for their continued desecration of the world's oceans. In an effort to stop him, another inhabitant of Atlantis called Mera (Amber Heard) comes looking for Arthur's help.

I knew nothing about Aquaman until recently. He's not exactly a superhero name like Spiderman or Wonder Woman that non comic book readers would be au fait with unless they watched Entourage 10 years ago. His appearance in the godawful Justice League film of 2016 was the moment he was introduced to a massive audience and he was one of the very few good things about it. Based on the quality of that movie you wouldn't be blamed for thinking the Aquaman film would be a disaster too but surprisingly you'd be quite wrong. It's actually a highly entertaining bit of nonsense. A blazingly silly bit of nonsense but a fun one nonetheless. You've just got to love a movie that embraces it's silliness and goes with it. This summer's Hereditary was a fine example of just going for it and now we've got another one. This is easily the most bonkers Superhero movie of the 21st century.

Dolph Lundgren plays a king. People ride into battle on whales & sharks and do battle with huge crabs. Gigantic tidal waves decimate earth's coastlines and are instantly forgotten. Dolph Lundgren plays a king! 10 feet long Seahorses are common modes of transport. Someone wears a dress made from what looks like a Portugese Man Of War jellyfish. Our hero fights in a shiny green and gold costume wielding a huge trident and a smirk. The main bad guy looks scarily like Julian Sands circa Arachnophobia. Dolph Lundgren plays a king!! A woman eats a rose thinking it's dinner. An assassin saves himself by inhaling toilet water. Depending on your disposition the above will entertain you or madden you. Me, I smiled and laughed the whole way through it. Just lay back and let it wash over you. Don't think about it too much. Enjoy the madness. Don't go to see it in 3D though. You'll probably have a stroke. 

A great cast helped big time. Jason Momoa is a great lead. Maybe a bit smug and annoying in the opening third of the film but once on his mission he becomes far more likable and even a bit vulnerable. He looks the part too, a big lump of beard and muscles who absolute convinces when he starts decimating the bad guys. Amber Heard more than holds her own as his sidekick Mera and Patrick Wilson brings a nice touch of gravitas to his bad guy role. Nicole Kidman and Temuera Morrison play the Aqua parents and their scenes early in the film are so nice and well played that you'll wish they went on for longer. Did I mention Dolph Lundgren was in it? Well he is and he's pretty damn good in his part. For viewers of a certain vintage, when people like him pop up it turns our geek dial up to 11. Yes, I'm well aware this review is coming off as very glowing but it's not all good.

EXPOSITION!!! Holy god there's a lot of explaining in this. The mythology of Atlantis and it's inhabitants comes thick and fast and in an unforgiving manner. "Huh, what did he say???" It doesn't matter cos here's more of it. When the screen is awash with every manner of CGI going it's going to be hard to follow every bit of dialogue ensuring you will get lost in places. At least they have someone with an interesting voice doing the talking (Willem Dafoe as Vulko). Plus, comic book filmmakers, please stop cramming in villains. No film needs two bad guys. Human baddie Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) is dull to be point of being forgettable and when he turns up in a bad guy suit & helmet he instantly gets lost in the maelstrom. TBH I can barely remember what happened to him. One last thing. The use of CGI to de-age actors. STOP. NOW. PLEASE. It's horrible if not done perfectly.

Bad points aside I thoroughly enjoyed this. It's fun, very inventive and well shot. Director James Wan knows his stuff when it comes to action but he doesn't forget his past in horror movies either which you'll see in spades during a nightmarish night time visit to The Trench. He's put together a solid Superhero movie. Early plot points pay off well later in the story and we even get a couple of genuinely earned emotional moments. Who the hell expected that from a film with an octopus drummer?