February 26, 2019

Kidney Stones


It's fair shit when your body betrays you ain't it. One day, walking to the bus to go home and 30 seconds later you're paralysed with pain and holding on to a bin for dear life so you don't fall over. Then you get to spend the next 48 hrs of your life in the hell that is Limerick A&E praying you don't catch MRSA or get punched by a pissed up muppet. Then you have to fast for 24 hrs and be tortured by the bastards in the next room who've snuck chinese food into their mother. Then you get wheeled into an operating theatre to have a stent installed into your kidney so the stone doesn't block it up. It's here where you are struck by an intense feeling of existential terror "Hmmm, what if i don't wake up etc". Then you do eventually wake up, pure drowsy, before falling headfirst into a night of drugged up horror dreams. You then start the next day by (sorry for this) urinating about a pint of blood, which even though you know is to be expected, is never not a terrifying thing to look down at. Finally you get a slice of toast which is the nicest thing you'll ever taste and then you feel confident you can walk around which haha doesnt work out and you end up staggering around like a 96 year old drunk. The joys of a general anaesthetic. Then you get told you've to visit another hospital every friday for the next 4 weeks to get the stone vaporised by blasts of ultrasound ensuring you'll be peeing ground glass for the month to come. OH WHAT AN ADVENTURE.

Kidney stones are absolute motherfuckers. I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. Shite weekend aside the staff of Limerick A&E are brilliant. They get everything done but there's just not enough of them by far. I'm amazed they aren't dropping like flies. The place gets a bad rap but you cannot fault the nurses and the support staff. Legends all of them.

Whinge over.

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