Nipping it in the bud

I told a teenage bloke to shut the fuck up in the cinema the other day.

I've turned into that lad. Ya......

But I've got to say I got immense satisfaction from seeing his expression change to that of a told off child.

I went to see Diego Maradona the other day. A film i'd wanted to see for a while. A young lad sat in the row behind me in a pretty empty cinema which set my alarm bells ringing straight away. But he was quiet and using his phone so it seemed grand. 30 seconds before the actual film started he was joined by a friend and proceeded to drone on and on and on in the dullest monotone you've ever heard for the first ten minutes of the film. At first I tried to ignore it, then proceeded to giving him dirty stares. Nothing changed. I tried the old passive aggressive, aimed at no one in particular shush and he didn't take one bit of notice. Eventually I turned and said "please stop talking." He looked right through me. The blood was starting to boil. I was squirming. Them he talked again. I turned and told him in my profane Tipperary style and in no uncertain terms to shut up. His smile vanished. He shrunk down in his chair. I smiled smugly. The next 2 hrs were spent in blissful silence.

You go to the cinema to watch a film. You don't go to the cinema to talk loudly and constantly to the person next to you. It's gowl acting. It's insulting to the people who made the film and to the other people who paid to watch the film. We came to see a story not hear yours. Cinema staff don't give a shit about what happens once they've got your money so it's up to us to police our own cinema experience. That's not good enough. We're getting gouged enough, the least they could do is make sure we enjoy ourselves.

Next time you're in your chair listening to some melt bating on about whatever, nip it in the bud. Use profanity. Be as loud as they are. Take them by surprise. Don't let 'em win. Enjoy your movie. You've earned it now. Plus all the other cowards in the screen will love you.