August 08, 2020

Video Nasties Rewatch parts 2 & 3 - Anthropophagus & Axe


These two installments are so godawful that i needed to get them out of the way fast. One thing a lot of the nasties have in common is poor pacing and jesus these two have that problem in spades. They're mindnumbingly dull too. Horror films should never ever be dull. It's against the law actually.

Anthropophagus is the story of a group of tourists on a deserted Greek island who fall afoul of a cannibalistic murderer. One of whom is Tisa Farrow by the way. Sister of Mia and one of the few actors who's been in both a dreadful nasty (this) and a brilliant one (Zombie Flesh Eaters).


Axe is the story of three criminals on the run who hold up in a farmhouse lived in by an unstable young woman. They mess with her. She messes back. Guess what tool she uses. Go on, guess. No one in this went on to have real acting career and rightly fucking so.

Anthropophagus is terribly boring despite containing perhaps the most infamous moment of all the nasties.

Axe is incredibly boring. A stunning achievement for a film that barely breaks the 60 minute mark.


Antrophophagus has at least an hour of assorted eurotrash cannon fodder running around an island before they get murdered.

Axe has 5 minutes (out of 67) of a woman washing her father's shoulders.

Both will make you look at yourself in the mirror and question the life choices that brought you to this place.

Both were banned in Britain in 1984.

A man holding his own guts. A very common occurrence in the nasties. And this actor too.
In the case of Anthropophagus I can see why.

In the case of Axe I assume whoever had to watch it for the DPP keeled over from boredom and someone else assumed it was from shock.

The scene that gave Anthropophagus it's notoriety is one of a cannibal pulling out a pregnant woman's fetus and eating it in front of her. It's blatantly fake but it's actually fucking disgusting. Disgusting enough to make it onto the BBC news and be called a snuff movie. C'mon ffs.

Axe......well.......nope, I'm at a loss as to why it was banned. The blood spilled looks like McDonald's curry ketchup and the vast majority of it's violence is either offscreen or implied. There's been episodes of Home And Away that were harder hitting.


They both have decent music though. Creepily effective.

Maybe that's why they were banned???

The music was too powerful???!!

Maybe it was the haircuts?? Afros and perms are dangerous dontchaknow.

I'm going mad Ted. 3 films in and I'm losing the will to live.

36 left.

Shit.

Next up A Bay Of Blood from Mario Bava. This one is good.


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