Crazy Samurai: 400 Vs 1

The title of this new Japanese action drama set in Edo period Japan is actually quite misleading, It should be called 588 vs 1. Well that's according to the trivia section on IMDB. 588 people dying at the hand of 1. That sounds nuts right. Maybe the most exciting film ever? Well from a technical viewpoint maybe. From an entertainment viewpoint? God no.

The Yoshioka clan is disgraced. Their leader has died in battle and a child has been placed in charge. They've set a trap for the killer, a samurai named Musashi, to wander into and he has no way out of it. One hundred samurai and hundreds of other crazed warriors are out for revenge. Surely one man couldn't fight against those types of numbers. The plot is as basic as you get but this isn't a film that cares about a storyline. It's an experiment. A one-take action scene takes up nearly 90% of the film's running time and fair play to it, it's as audacious as film making can get but no film can get by on action alone. We need something to get our teeth into and Crazy Samurai ain't going to give it to us.

Obviously not a Wu-Tang clan fan

The story of Miyamoto Musashi may be 400+ years old but he's still a popular character in Japanese culture. Hundreds of films, tv shows and anime have been made about him. The great Toshiro Mifune even played him in the Samurai trilogy and his likeness has cropped up in dozens of modern day video games. In 2011 director Yûji Shimomura shot a 77 minute one-take action sequence featuring Tak Sakaguchi as Miyamoto taking on his enemies. 9 years later he managed to crowdfund enough money to turn it into a film, adding bookends, music and, unforgivably, CGI blood. From a technical viewpoint it's an astounding achievement, a feat of choreography and stamina, but it takes it's toll on the viewer. After 10 minutes you'll start feeling bored and by the end of the 77 you'll just want Miyamoto to be put out of his misery.

It feels shitty complaining about a film when this much obvious hard work has been put into it but the constant formula of wash, rinse and repeat would get to even the most hardened of action film fans. It ain't a spoiler to describe whole chunks of this as:

• Miyamoto wanders onto an arena like area, an opening in a forest or a village square.
• 30+ warriors attack him, one at a time, and he takes them out with a belly slice or a knock on the head.
• A master samurai appears and is instantly eviscerated.
• Miyamoto takes a break, finds a handily stashed water supply and a brand new sword.
• And it all starts over again. And again. And again. And again.....

It's like playing a computer game. It's as theatrical and artificial a film as you'll ever see. You'll start noticing how each fight is put together, fallen warriors running off screen to die so as to not get in the way of others or recycle themselves as additional fighters, the same two moves used over and over again, swordsmen waiting in the background for their turn at bat. You won't care about Miyamoto the character but you'll stress for Sakaguchi the actor as you watch him visibly tire as the film moves forward. You'll never see an actor earning his wage as much as he does here. It's an intensely physical action performance that deserves a much better film around it. For real one take amazement in Asian action cinema watch Tony Jaa's Tom Yum Goong from 2005 for a 3.5 minute one take shot that's still the best you'll ever see.

Crazy Samura : 400 Vs 1 is streaming on google movies now. Watch it to appreciate it's craftmanship. But expect nothing else from it.