Deadly Cuts

The boogeyman of modern day society has long been portrayed as a young lad in a blinding white tracksuit and rocking a haircut that would give you a headache at 50 yards. Deadly Cuts tells us the real truth. All societal ills can be traced back to one place, a hellish sandbox of rich folk obsessed with anal sex and sabotage. That place.....is south of the Liffey.

Michelle (Angeline Ball), the owner of Deadly Cuts is having an awful time lately. Her business is being threatened with demolition to make way for the gentrification of Piglinstown, the suburb she calls home while a local gang, led by the reprehensibly scummy Deano (Ian Lloyd Anderson) is demanding protection money that's eating into her profits massively. One of her hairdressers Stacey (Ericka Roe) is having her own issues too, she wants out of Piglinstown, away from it all the crime and the bad memories, and her plan is to win the Ah Hair hairdressing competition so her absentee mother, living it up in Spain, will see her success and ask her to live the sea and sunshine life with her. To win Stacey will need the help of Michelle and her co-workers Chantelle (Shauna Higgins) and Gemma (Lauren Larkin) but a late night run in with Deano is threatening everything they hold dear.

There's a refreshing lack of morality in Deadly Cuts that many will take issue with but if you can get onboard with it's simplified way of solving life's bigger problems you'll probably have a great time with it. Yeah it's broad as hell ("Me back box!") and yes it does delve into Irish stereotypes in a way that makes Damo & Ivor look subtle but come the end you'll be grinning and laughing like a fool. In a time when every ounce of Dublin's charm is being stripped away to make room for yet more hotels it's urban renewal subplot feels extremely timely but unfortunately real life can't be dealt with Deadly Cuts style so here you'll have a chance to live vicariously for a while. BTW, I'm not condoning anything in this film :D

It's all built around a plotline that feels like it fell out of a dark 1980's comedy but it's the performances and chemistry created by them that gives Deadly Cuts it's bucketload of charm. Stacey's the one you'll empathise with most, abandoned, wanting to better herself, torn between loyalty and her future and Ericka Roe make a fine job of her part while Ian Lloyd Henderson's blisteringly hateful Deano is so effective that you'll cheer when you see how he ends up. Victoria Smurfitt, Louis Lovett and Pauline McLynn come into play in the latter half of the film when the action moves to the hilariously overblown Ah Hair competition and play their parts of South County Dublin bullshitters so hammily that you'll think you've landed in a Mrs Brown's Boys sequel but luckily a couple of inspired plot zig zags save the day come the end. Zig Zags that aren't just deus ex machina plot tomfoolery either, the ground work is laid throughout with little asides that feel like nothing at the time adding a clever touch to the silliness.

Deadly Cuts is in the cinema at the moment and it's a funny and worthwhile alternative to the Bond film showing in every other screen of your local picturehouse. Plus you'll learn how to go from brunette to platinum blonde in one step without causing any hair loss and that's always a good thing.