Army Of Thieves

Earlier this year Zack Snyder's Army Of The Dead was released on Netflix. It's the biggest and most expensive zombie film ever made. It wasn't very well received but it was a harmless bit of escapism that let us hide from the current state of the world behind a shower of undead viscera and gunfire. It's open ended storyline would lead you to expect more of the same but nope, instead we're getting a prequel and a non horror one at that. Oh and there's no Dave Bautista headlining either, no this one is all about Ludwig Dieter, the German safecracker who may or may not (ha!) have survived the living head hordes. It seems the trend of giving minor characters their own prequel spin offs isn't just a Disney + thing anymore.

Potsdam. A dull, rainy city. Home to Sebastian (Matthias Schweighöfer, who also directs), a bank teller living a life as mundane as the place he calls home. A zombie outbreak is making worldwide news and thankfully it's been contained to Las Vegas but that isn't placating him and to take his mind off it he's making youtube videos about his true passion, the art of breaking into safes. One of these videos gets him invited to a safecracking competition and his prowess gets him noticed by a skilled jewellery thief called Gwendoline who's part of a robbery crew that need Sebastian to carry off a heist involving three safes created by a legendary locksmith called Wagner. All three safes are due to be destroyed within a week so time is of the essence. Sebastian's fear of getting involved in crime is tempered by his desire to crack a Wagner safe and his desire for Gwendoline. So he decides he's in, his life is about to change but the first thing a criminal needs is a change of name and Ludwig is born.

Most prequels are absolutely unnecessary and Army Of Thieves isn't going to change anyone's mind about that fact but it's a bit of fun, it's a bit of a laugh, it's got some creatively realised action sequences and it's main character is a likable little dude. It also sadly  falls afoul of the twin curses of modern day film making; it's too long and it wants to be the start of a franchise. Everything wants to be the first of a series nowadays, nothing ever gets a real ending and no one ever dies. The ending of this one is very cynical, tying into it's predecessor and set up future films but fuck it, if it's going to happen it may as well be about the most entertaining character onscreen. Ludwig's not your usual hero, he's a nerd, he's scrawny and he adores classical music. It's a refreshing change when your lead doesn't have a neck thicker than his head.

Anyone coming into this without seeing AOTD first is going to be confused as it plays out like a straightforward heist film but with occasional glimpses of the zombies from AOTD on news reports or in Ludwig's dreams. You'll wonder why and it does dovetail into the narrative slightly but this would have been more satisfying as a standalone story. There's certainly enough going on and enough characters to make the zombie stuff unnecessary. There's the charming and resourceful Gwendoline who's budding friendship with Ludwig lends the film a nice chemistry and filling out the rest of the gang are Brad Cage (Stuart Martin), Korina Dominguez (Ruby O. Fee) and Rolph (Guz Khan). Cage's character lets the film take the piss out of the usual, muscle bound action hero tropes while Rolph, well he's just funny. Nothing wrong with funny. The world needs more funny.

The heists themselves are enjoyable too, especially the first one which flat out makes a mockery out of one of the most well known heist movie cliches. Flipping off the usual conventions always earns a thumbs up and helps us look past the film's failings, namely a mid section that just slows things to a crawl. Schweighöfer might be enjoying directing his English language debut but he seems to have picked up a bad habit from his time working with Zack Snyder, namely not knowing where to cut and snip and tighten. Less is always more boys, less is always better.

Army Of Thieves is on Netflix now. It has no real reason to exist but it's an easy way to pass a couple of hours.