January 12, 2022

The 355

There's a gadget that can hack into every computer on Earth after being created in the forests of Colombia and bad guys from every strata want it. With it cities can be blacked out in seconds, planes can be crashed remotely and financial institutions can be cleaned out instantly. Whoever gets it can start and win World War III in the blink of an eye so it's no surprise that intelligence agencies from all over the world are sending their best and brightest to retrieve it from the man who's retrieved it, a Colombian National Intelligence Directorate agent called Rojas (Edgar Ramirez). Mace (Jessica Chastain) is a CIA agent on the hunt alongside her fellow agent Fowler (Sebastian Stan) and her techie friend Khadijah (Lupita Nyong'o) from M16 and Germany's BND have the vicious and uncompromising Marie (Diane Kruger) on the case. Their plans clash and soon enough chaos is spilling out onto the streets of Paris and Morocco and a Colombian shrink from the NDI called Graciela (Penelope Cruz) is forced into action too when her compatriot Rojas loses control of what can only be described as a doomsday device. 

To say The 355 hasn't been well received is an understatement but it's a perfectly serviceable bit of undemanding fun and who doesn't need that these days. The cast work well together (It's not much of a spoiler to say all the women all end up on the same side), the action scenes are surprisingly crunchy for a 12 cert film and there's plenty of enjoyment to be had between vicious cat and mouse games in Moroccan bazaars and fish markets, footchases over and under Paris and explosive gunplay in Shanghai highrises.  Everyone here is a spy with the exception of Cruz's psychiatrist and in the grand tradition of cinematic spycraft, it's less about surveilling and tailing and more about globetrotting, headbutting and point blank shooting. When the violence takes a breather we get an entertaining Ocean's 8 style scene at an auction where charm becomes mightier than strength but don't worry, it's not long before bodies are being pummelled again. 

You can smell the desire for a franchise here. They always start the same way. A simple story designed to show off the characters and what they can do, bland villains and mild twists and most importantly a plot that doesn't hurt the main cast, well too much anyway. The cast is what makes this one worthwhile. Chastain is solid as a somewhat anonymous lead who looks convincing beating the tar out of bald, bearded goons. Kruger is absolutely convincing as a pissed off German agent who looks like she could destroy your bodily integrity with a well aimed kick while Cruz does nice work as a fish out of water who eventually finds her place in the world. Lupita Nyong'o feels slightly wasted as the tech nerd of the group but come the fiery climax she proves her worth as much as the others. Late in the day Fan Bingbing pops up as a Chinese agent also on the hunt for the gadget but she fails to make any bit of an impact and the cynical among us might suggest she's only there so the film can tap into that lucrative Chinese market.

Cynics might also take issue with the film's bloodless brutality. Dozens of goons are gunned down and stabbed throughout The 355 but there's nary a splash of blood to be seen. It's John Wick without the splatter, The Expendables without the entrails. Had director Simon Kinberg been given the okay to go all out on the carnage maybe people might have enjoyed this more but these days the wannabe franchises have got to get that oh so important PG-13 (over here 12A) rating. One moment involving family threat does push the boundaries of the family friendly rating but it also gives us a moment we never get to see in films like this. Here we get a glimpse into the outer lives of people involved in the spying life. Bond never did anything like this. Bourne certainly didn't. It's a small touch but it's a welcome one. People might be surprised that a woman led film like this avoids blatant "Girl Power" moments but the humane touches it brings to the table are far more welcome.

The 355 is in cinemas now. If you want a bit of crunchy fun you might enjoy it.

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