Buy this book

I bought this monday and finished it today. Its brilliant. A book that would challenge long held ideas put in your head by subpar ITV dramas, godawful Jess Franco films and shitty Johnny Depp films. Unlike those penny dreadfuls this book gives agency to the women, turning them into living breathing individuals who fell afoul of a murdering bastard instead of being depicted as sleazy streetwalkers who deserved what they got. Its an excellent history lesson too. A look at systemic poverty and the misogyny that can arise from it.

Seriously worth picking up.

The Owners

What? Another comic book adaption? Oh sorry, graphic novel adaption. Seriously? You can't get away from them these days. What city gets thrashed this time then? Do the heroes fly? Are they invisible or do they just shoot flames all over the shop? What do you mean stanley knives? A sledgehammer ......... Arya from Game Of Thrones ........ dementia...?

Ah go on sure I'll give it a whirl.

The Huggins (Rita Tushingham and Sylvester McCoy) are an elderly couple living a quiet life in the middle of the English countryside. They've been targeted by Nathan (Ian Kenny), a teenager with a chip on his shoulder concerning wealth, who wants money but who isn't willing to work for it. Himself and his friends Gaz and Terry have a plan involving the Huggins and the safe they have in their basement. But they haven't accounted for Nathan's girlfriend Mary (Maisie Williams) turning up or the Huggins's returning early from a night out.

There's an act of violence about halfway through The Owners and it's the point where you'll stay watching or press the stop button. It's hideously satisfying, replete with some eye popping practical effects and a crunch that will haunt your dreams but if you can get past it you'll get to enjoy a nifty little thriller/horror that starts out with Shane Meadow's style realism and ends up with shrieking campy brutality.  The English take (adapted from a French comic called Une Nuit de Pleine Lune) on the home invasion genre has always been worth a watch with films like Cherry Tree Lane, Straightheads & Emelie standing out but this one does things you won't expect and gives us a twisted interplay between characters that gives the whole thing an air of unpredictability. Their actions turn it into a nasty little chamber piece that's rough on the eyes in places but thankfully it veers away from the torture porn territory it flirts with at the last minute and becomes something slightly more palatable. Slightly.

One thing I enjoyed about this is how it messes with your allegiances throughout. At different times throughout the story you'll side with parties from both sides of the (much commented on) class divide before they say or do something that will make you shudder and it's down to the quality of the performances from Williams, Ellis, McCoy and Tushingham that this happens. These aren't people you'll necessarily want to spend time with but you won't want to see them splashed around the place either and if a horror movie can make you give a shit it's succeeded in my book. It's only late in the day when it starts getting a bit too clever, indulging in some aspect ratio shenanigans that the film suffers. Visual trickery designed to make an already claustrophobic story even moreso but all it really does is reminds you you're watching a film, therefore talking you out of the moment. A needless, annoying addition.

French Director Julius Berg's first feature film is an imperfect but twisted & promising debut and it's streaming online now if you have the constitution for it.

When you just know

I'm Thinking Of Ending It. The new Netflix film from Charlie Kaufman, starring Ireland's own Jessie Buckley and Jesse Plemons, two of the most exciting young actors around. The hype about this was mighty. Kaufman's last film Anomalisa was melancholy and amazing. Buckley's last leading role was in Wild Rose, one of the best films of 2018 and everything Plemons turns up in tends to be gold. Then people I admire on Twitter started talking about it, praising it, loving it. Sure how could ya go wrong watching it.

I turned it off after 15 minutes. I hated what I saw. What was the point when you just know from the beginning that you aren't going to enjoy it. You could sit through it but why? So you could say you did? Fuck that, I'm not 17 and looking to show off anymore. It was going to be too much hard work. I need to start doing this more. I watch way too much shite in an effort to keep up with the Joneses. There's no shame in giving up on something. I'm still pissed off I sat through 6 seasons of Homeland FFS

Ah you can't win 'em all. I should have watched Mulan instead.

The New Mutants

The New Mutants has had quite a troubled journey to the big screen. After dozens of script rewrites and numerous cast changes the film was eventually filmed in 2017. It then went through a series of plot reshoots before it's release in 2018. Fox, the studio making the film then delayed it's opening date to first avoid clashing with Deadpool 2 and then again to avoid a clash with X-Men : Dark Phoenix. Then just as it was about to see the light of day Fox was bought by Disney and a further delay occurred. Then Disney actually watched the film, didn't think much of it and reshot more of it. 2019 turned into 2020 and it got a release date in April. Then a little thing called the Covid-19 global pandemic once again kicked it in the teeth. Finally, finally it got released yesterday, in the shadow of Tenet, the biggest film of the year so far. Was it worth the wait? Eh........

After her reservation village is decimated by what she's told was a powerful tornado, a Native American teenager called Dani Moonstar (Blu Hunter) wakes up and finds herself trapped in a hospital ran by Dr Reyes. Dani's a mutant and in this hospital she'll be trained to utilise her mutant gift properly before she moves on the better known business. The other patients are Samuel (Charlie Heaton) , Illyana (Anya Taylor-Joy) , Roberto (Henry Zaga) and Rahne (Maisie Williams). 4 teenagers who, just like Dani have tragedy in their pasts caused by the manifestation of their gifts. But since Dani's arrival things have gotten weird for them all and they suspect it's something to do with her powers. Powers that she still doesn't know anything about.

The New Mutants is the 13th installment in the X-men series and while it ain't the worst of them it's far from the best either. It's too bland & tame (don't let the 15 cert fool you) to have any real impact. A post script to a series who's best days are a decade and a half ago. Reshoots and plot revision have left it choppy and feeling like important plot points are missing. But it's characters save it and the interplay between them is definitely the best part of the film. It's a massive change of pace from the others in the series too with its cast of 6 characters and one setting. It's like a super powered chamber piece and while it does go full CGI at the end as these films are wont to do it's low-key, low stakes story is a nice change of pace. Plus it leans into the horror aspects of the comic books it's based on far more than the others. We get a dab of body horror, some psychological trauma and hinted at darkness in the teens pasts but the need to keep it family friendly blunts any threatened edges. It's a pity because 3 of the others in the series were allowed to fully embrace an adult rating so why not this? 

Luckily a decent cast playing some solid characters do well. Marvel finally gets it's first gay relationship, the majority female cast feels refreshing in a genre usually dominated by male characters. Dani's an interesting lead and played with a nice vulnerability by Blu Hunt and her chemistry with Maisie Williams' lycanthropic Rahne feels genuine. Anya Taylor-Joy as Illyana Rasputin is fun too. Her Russian accent is hilariously syrupy and full on but she crackles onscreen and is the kind of character you'd look forward to seeing more of in future installments. But therein lies the rub. With Disney's acquisition of Fox they own all the rights to the X-men franchise and all characters within. Characters who will be transferred to the Marvel side of the Disney business. Marvel who are just about to reboot the X-men franchise meaning this film will be a one off. Oh it's all very confusing.

I'd have liked to have seen the originally envisioned version of this. One that more explicitly tied it to the X-men universe especially for viewers who wouldn't have known these characters from the comic books. For the uninitiated it feels like an outlier and, in light of what Disney/Marvel will do next, it also feels a bit pointless. But completists will get something out of it I suppose.

The New Mutants is in cinemas now.  

16 films to keep that September stress away

Lucy   Sat   5/9   E4 @ 21.00

While muling a mysterious drug shipment inside her stomach, a woman undergoes a drastic transformation when it leaks. Luc Besson directs Scarlet Johansson in this bonkers film that has a final 10 minutes which has to be seen to be believed. You'll either love it or hate it but you definitely haven't seen anything like it before. Johansson is solid as Lucy and Morgan Freeman & Min-Sik Choi are always a pleasure.

Essential Killing   Sat   5/9   TG4 @ 23.20

Mohammed is on the run. He's a member of the Taliban who's been captured in Afghanistan and the yanks are transferring him to an eastern european blacksite for interrogation and fearing for his life he's gotten away. An unusual one, looking at a conflict from a point of view rarely seen and focusing on a character who'd be a faceless goon in a US production. Vincent Gallo does good work as the lead of a mature, gritty film.

Ginger & Rosa   Sun   6/9   BBC2 @ 00.45

London. The early 60's. Society is in upheaval and the spectre of the Cuba Missile Crisis is looming large. The two teenage girls of the title are loving life, living in each other's pockets. Until one day.... A complex, thoughtful coming of age drama from director Sally Potter that deviates from the usual teen dramas. Pristine work from Elle Fanning, Christina Hendricks, Alice Englert and  Alessandro Nivola.

Odette   Sun   6/9   BBC2 @ 11.30

The true story of Odette Sansom, one of the unsung heroes of World War 2. A French woman and mother who joined the SOE and learned spycraft and espionage before falling foul of the nazi war machine. A gripping and tension packed watch about a side of history rarely mentioned & led by an excellent Anna Neagle as Odette. Reliable old British faces such as Peter Ustinov and Trevor Howard are great back up.

The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty   Sun   6/9   Film4 @ 16.40

A chronic day dreamer trying to save his job finds himself on an adventure that tops anything even his wildest imagination could come up with. A delightful bit of family viewing, perfect for a sunday evening.  Highly amusing, imaginative, exhilarating, lovely looking and ably led by Ben Stiller who for once is surprisingly likable. Nice support too from the always welcome Kristen Wiig and Kathryn Hahn.

A Matter of Life & Death   Mon   7/9   BBC2 @ 14.30

A WW2 fighter pilot jumps to his death from a burning plane but due to an administrative error in Heaven he gets a chance to argue for his life. This is, simply put, a outstanding film. Yeah, it sounds silly but in the hands of  Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger it becomes a genuinely affecting piece of work. It's wondrous stuff, packed with imagination and superb acting from David Niven and Kim Hunter amongst others.

Jallikattu   Mon   7/9   Film4 @ 23.35

A butcher in a small Indian village finds himself in a lot of bother when a buffalo due for slaughter rears up and escapes during a ceremony. It causes chaos that soon spreads through the populace. A powerful, almost primal tale about the machinations existing beneath the surface of smalltown life. Dark, exciting, visceral and very unique. Chemban Vinod Jose & Santhy Balachandran both do mighty work.

The Life & Death Of Colonel Blimp   Tues   8/9   BBC2 @ 14.30

Clive Candy has had hell of a life and we get to bear witness to how it all plays out from the Boer War to WW2 and meet all the people who shaped him along the way. This Powell and Pressburger film from 1943 is masterful and more than transcends it's original purpose as wartime propaganda. A warm, witty, upsetting and layered story powered by impressive turns from Roger Livesey & Deborah Kerr times three. Yup (x) 3.

A Fistful Of Dynamite   Tues   8/9   ITV4 @ 23.45

During the revolution of 1910 an IRA member is recruited by a Mexican bandito to rob a bank but he has other ideas. Rod Steiger and James Coburn are loads of fun in this at times hilarious and gorgeous looking western from the master, Sergio Leone. It's quite different to his more well known films but its still really worth a go. A couple of scenes from this were filmed in Toner's on Baggot Street in Dublin. See if you spot them.

In The Heart Of The Sea   Tues   8/9   RTE2 @ 21.30

In 1820 a whaling ship was attacked and destroyed by the animal it was hunting. The story inspired Moby Dick but that famous tale was only half of what happened. This was a fine film but christ it's tough going. The gory details and harsh existences of the times are never soft pedaled but some first class turns from a cast that includes Brendan Gleeson, Chris Hemsworth and Cillian Murphy will keep you going.

Bridge Of Spies   Wed   9/9   More4 @ 21.00

Cold war intrigue abounds in this gripping drama from Steven Spielberg. An American lawyer hired to deal with a Russian spy finds himself sucked into a negotiation involving a downed U.S. pilot in a Berlin divided in two. Initially slow moving and confusing, but when it settles it turns into both a very entertaining movie and a decent history lesson. Tom Hanks, Mark Rylance and Amy Ryan are all on fantastic form.

Jihad Jane   Wed   9/9   RTE1 @ 21.35

Colleen LaRose and Jamie Paulin Ramirez were two American women who became involved with radical Islamic terrorists in the early part of this decade. The media demonised them but there was a lot more to their story than what we heard. A compelling documentary that humanises it's subjects while looking at the issues that attract lonely individuals to this way of life. Plus there's an Irish link to the story that proves fact is often stranger than fiction.

The Sessions   Thur   10/9   CH4 @ 02.50

A man trapped in an iron lung feels he is missing out on living to his fullest so hires a therapist to help him out with one of life's most important rites of passage. Brave performances from Helen Hunt & John Hawkes fuel an affecting story. This is about a side of life with disability that most of us  never have to think about. It's a frank film that's both uplifting and upsetting and you'll be glad you watched it.

Paradox   Thur   10/9   Film4 @ 23.30

Pattaya in Thailand is a dark and sleazy place as Hong Kong cop Lee Chung Chi finds out when his teenage daughter is kidnapped while on holiday. So he does what all good fathers would do. A dark and violent thriller that will not be for everyone but it's worth sticking with for some blisteringly well choreographed fight scenes. Think Film Noir crossed with South East Asian cinema and you're there. Louis Koo is a solid lead.

The Mechanic   Fri   11/9   Syfy @ 21.00

Arthur's deadly at his job. Literally. When he's hired to do something he does it right. He's an assassin and people pick him because they know he's reliable. But his latest job is a complex one. Jason Statham's remake of the Charles Bronson thriller is a satisfying watch, muscular, bruising, brutal in places, exciting in others. The Stath does his usual thing but Ben Foster and Donald Sutherland add a touch of class to proceedings.

Zodiac   Fri   11/9   BBC1 @ 22.45

Someone is killing people in the bay area around San Francisco and three men become obsessed with finding out who. An obsession that became all consuming and unending. Forget Fight Club, this is  David Fincher's masterpiece. A meticulously put together film full of darkness that still manages to find time for some much needed humour. Robert Downey Jr, Jake Gyllenhaal and Mark Ruffalo put in career best turns here.

Video Nasties rewatch Part 7 - Blood Rites

Blood Rites is one of the more unusual films on the video nasties list. A period piece that isn't nazisploitation for once. It's the oldest movie of the list. Easily one of the tamest (except for one scene). Filled with dreadful acting, as is par for the course at this stage. But...I'm loving it. And I don't know why.

3 sisters are invited to a reading of their father's will on an island estate near New York City. Their husbands tag along because a film like this needs cannon fodder to wipe out. They arrive on the island to revisit the home they grew up in as children and find it being ran by a maid called Ruth and two others, one being a handyman who, to put it mildly, is troubled. Before his estate can be settled they find themselves being wiped out one by one. The island is remote and hard to get to meaning the killer is one of the small group. A group about to get a lot smaller.

This is 71 minutes of utter camp that you can't help but enjoy and it's yet another bizarre entry on the nasties list. Most of the violence is offscreen or shot so confusingly that it's impossible to see what's going on. As far as I can see it's one 5 second moment that caused all the problems, as one of the husband's is disembowelled in a moment that cannot be taken seriously. It's basically someone sawing through clay. What makes it memorable though is the weird unsettling atmosphere that pervades throughout the movie. The extremely disorientating camerawork (Purposely done? I'm guessing not but it works). That bizarre moment of sexual tension between brothers is a definite eyebrow raiser early in the film. The rabbit scene. The feeling of sleaze that bleeds through despite the relative lack of sex or nudity. Then we have that eerie soundtrack, music that makes even a mealtime scene feel odd. Music that saves the film tbh.

The copy available on youtube is terrible quality, looking like it was sourced from an 8mm reel or a third generation VHS copy but it actually added to the fun of revisiting this because it's the same quality as the people watching in the early 80's during all that nasty hysteria would have had. I was only 4/5 at the time and missed out on that wonderful fans for film fans so it's nice to experience a frisson of all the fuss. Some films don't need to be rereleased in 1080p or 4K and this is one of them.

Ok. That was fun. A lot more fun than some of the shite on the list so far. I'm looking at you Beast In Heat.

Next up, more fun courtesy of Tom Savini and his glorious SFX. The Burning.

Sonny Capone

Last night I watched one of the worst films I've ever seen. It sounds like a broad statement but Sonny Capone is the kind of film you could use to torture someone for information with. The warning signs were there from the start. A voiceover that sounded like it was read from a cue card with no practice beforehand. The father in the kitchen wailing. Those Italian accents that sounded like something from a 6th class Christmas play. At first it seemed funny, something you could enjoy with a bag of cans. It's an Irish film you think to yourself. I'll give it a chance, it has to get better. 92 minutes later you're watching the credits rolling and you're thinking to yourself "How did it come to this?"

This is the story of Sonny Capone, an Irish/Italian who's just become the Capo Di Tutti Capi of the Italian mafia. As a child he was taken from Dublin to Italy by his mother and he worked his way up through the ranks until he hit the top. Life is good, he has a beautiful woman by his side and the respect of his caporegimes. He's spreading his wings, dealing in international affairs and about to go worldwide when a phonecall from a family member he didn't even know existed flips his life upside down. Now he's headed back to where it all started and he's going to paint the streets of the Irish capital a bright, spurting red.

This was awful. 92 minutes of irredeemable putrescence. A film that would make you embarrassed to be Irish. It's so bad you can't even laugh at it. At first you'll think it's a joke and then slowly you'll realise someone made this earnestly and you'll feel genuinely bad for them. But you'll feel worse for yourself. It's filled with the kind of acting that makes Fair City performances look masterful. Every direction the story takes is ill judged, offensive and awkward. Our hero shoots numerous innocent women in the head and kidnaps Jewish men to be put into gas chambers (I fuckin wish i was making this up). The bad guys all get subplots that go nowhere and the film uses their abuse and terrorisation of the ladies in their lives as comedy fodder. Everything you can think of here goes wrong. Sonny can't even cook convincingly.

There's story decisions in here that will drop your jaw, not in awe but in horror, the aforementioned gas chamber, the bewigged skeleton, the bad guy who loves to be cuckolded, his wife and her face licking fetish, the twist in the 80th minute that will make you guffaw at it's sheer awfulness, the treatment of the female reporter who's abduction and murder is played off like a comedy sketch, the bit with the priest (there's two, i'm still not sure which is worse). It feels like a film made by someone who's never seen a film before. Or for that matter heard a foreign accent either because good christ there's some doozies in here. Stop reading for a minute and do your best Super Mario accent. It's awful isn't it. But there's a good chance it's better than what you'll hear in this. Every Italian accent has a Dublin one bleeding into it. Every Irish woman onscreen sounds Eastern european. After a while you won't even hear what they're saying, you'll just be concentrating on how badly it's all being mangled.

But don't worry, you won't miss anything. The plot is as by the numbers as you'll ever get. A simple revenge flick. How could it possibly go wrong? Well watch this and find out. You've probably noticed there's no mention yet of leading actor, writer or director. That's because all three are the one person and I don't want to embarrass him because this is one he'll be leaving of his resume.

Christ.

This is streaming on google movies now. Don't you dare watch it.

Those goddamned 8 legged hell bastards

September. The best time of the year. Warm days and cold nights. The best of both worlds. You can get a bit of warmth on your face but you can sleep at night too.

The only downside is those arachnid fucks who insist on trespassing into my house. MY HOUSE. The barefaced cheek of them. They don't even knock and they've 8 limbs to do it with. There's no excuse. It's not good when you're on edge in your own home. When you're afraid to open a window in case you get an unwanted visitor.

An unwanted visitor who seems get bigger and hairier with every passing year. There were no big spiders when i was young. Now they're the size of the palm of your hand. And you can hear them scuttle. Scuttle. What a terrifying, unpredictable word. When you can hear a scuttle it implies size, weight, substance, DANGER. There's only one way to deal with them. None of this namby pamby picking them up and returning them to nature. Nope. You've got to pulverise them. Show them who's boss. Send em back to the hell dimension they came from. I recommend a good solid paperback thrown from a safe distance. It's messy but it's satisfying.

You've got to protect your castle.

The Binge

"Gonna get high, gonna get baked til every inch of us just aches. Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs, gonna do everything we grab. Take some shrooms, smoke some crack, chase the dragon and shoot some smack. Gonna get high, gonna get baked til every inch of us just aches. Gonna do lines, gonna pop tabs, gonna do everything we grab. Gonna cook meth, going so far, gonna give hand jobs in the car. Gonna get high, gonna get baked, til every inch of us just aches.

The only thing that matters is we get so fucking hiiiiiiiiigggghhhhh."

When The Binge hits the musical moment it's been telegraphing since it's opening minutes you'll want to turn it off and run screaming from the room at that stage but you'll be so far in you'll have to keep watching just to see can it get any worse. Can it?

Boogie Nights. One of many films homaged during The Binge. When you see these little nods to classics you'll smile, feel a little smug maybe for getting the reference and then you'll feel wistful when you think you could be watching those instead of this piece of trash. The Binge is a bad film. It's painfully unfunny and you won't care whether the characters onscreen live or die. You'll feel bad about yourself for choosing to spend your time this way and worst of all, you'll feel auld and cranky that you're watching something this irresponsible. Why irresponsible? Yeah, let me tell you about the plot line.

Once a year in America all drugs are legal. People of course lose the run of themselves and go haywire. Towns and cities get trashed and the more responsible members of the community dread this annual event. People like Principal Carlson (Vince Vaughn). He wants his students to behave, to not indulge. His teenage students have no intention of listening to him at all, and 2 of them, Andrew (Eduardo Franco) and Hags (Dexter Darden), want to make a real name for themselves as party animals. The third part of this friend trio is Griffin (Skyler Gisondo), he's nervous, he's never even drank before, let alone done a line and the thought of The Binge terrifies him. Until he finds out the girl he fancies, Lena (Grace Van Dien), is dying to let her hair down. So he reluctantly joins in. Only one issue though, Lena is Principal Carlson's daughter and he's out to find her and keep her safe.

It sounds like a giggle doesn't it. A comedy about a subject on the lips of everyone. Set in a country with a massive problem with opioid drug abuse. Maybe it might be a commentary on the state of modern day USA and it's relationship with drugs with a few laughs thrown in. Plus the trailers make it look like a cross between Superbad and The Purge (a film with a similar storyline to this but replace drugs with crime) and those two films were good so it stands to reason this will be. Right? RIGHT? WRONG. We get cocaine races, a lot of walking, comedy hallucinations, exploding cows, sub Farrelly Brothers jokes about shit, piss and fucking and a turn from Vince Vaughn that would make you wonder how on earth he ever became famous. Leading man Skylar Gismondo (so good in Santa Clarita Diet) just looks embarrassed throughout and rightly so. It's lowest common denominator stuff that wastes every opportunity it has to take a pop at it's subject, instead going for the easy route everytime. Near the end we see someone overdosing and it's played off as a laugh. There's no repercussions, there's no morals, there's no point to any of it.

If you enjoy this, there's probably something broken inside you. It's dreadful, lazy, boring, meaningless. It's no surprise no studio would go near this leading to a streaming premiere. It's why you've heard nothing about this. Reefer Madness is edgier FFS.

Christ I feel like I should sign off on this review as 'Outraged from Tunbridge Wells'.

Streaming online now if you hate yourself.

A perfect pairing of sound & vision - American Me

American Me was one of the more controversial releases of 1992. It's the story of the Mexican Mafia, La Eme, and it's birth among the Chicano gangs in the prison yards of California. It's a shockingly violent film and that violence crept into real life too when at least 3 consultants who had worked on the film were murdered in and around Los Angeles on the orders of La Eme who were, to say the least, not happy with the depiction of their origin. It's a memorable film though, especially the scene below and it's fantastically economical use of music to trace the passage of time.

Montoya Santana (based on real life gang member Rodolfo Cadena) has become a big man in juvenile detention after killing an older boy who attacked him. With his star on the rise he's reunited with an old friend of his, JD, a white teenager raised in Chicano surroundings, (Based on real life gangster Joe Pegleg Morgan) and he's growing comfortable being state property. 

From the innocent 50's sounds of Bobby Day and Rockin' Robin to the sleazy 70's drawl of Los Lobos and Shotgun we pass 15 years in the blink of an eye, the sound of transition being the bang of a handball against a backboard that sounds very like a gunshot. Our boys have grown into Edward James Olmos and William Forsythe. Hair styles have changed, khakis have turned into blue jeans. Faces have hardened. A decade and a half in the joint takes it's toll. Boys to men. Men in charge of the yard at Folsom, the prison made famous by Johnny Cash. The petty crimes are in the rear view. Montoya and Joe are murderers now. They deal in drugs and blood. The song playing over them now feels apt rather than childish.

15 years of crime. Enough stories to fill a 3 hour crime epic. American Me skips it all in the space of 10 seconds. Brilliant.

Previous pairings

Beetlejuice

Rio Bravo

Hard Boiled
8 mile
Wheels On Meals
The Office (UK)
Do The Right Thing
Se7en
Mad Men
The Colour Of Money
Rules Of Attraction

Jackass II

Game Of Thrones 

Apocalypse Now

Blade

Big
Miller's Crossing

The Blues Brothers

Straight Outta Compton

The Princess Bride

American Honey

Snake In The Eagle's Shadow

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

The Untouchables

Airplane!

Dazed And Confused  

Kickboxer                                  

Grosse Point Blank

Mean Streets

Watership Down

Casablanca

Zodiac

Jackie Brown
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
Deliverance
The Omen
Copland
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The Mission

Before Sunset

Carlito's Way
A Knight's Tale
Platoon
Before Sunrise
Rushmore
An American Werewolf In London
Dazed And Confused
Boogie Nights
Raging Bull
Almost Famous
Once Upon A Time In The West
Goodfellas

Last Of The Mohicans

15 films on TV this week for your viewing pleasure

Logan   Sat   29/8   CH4 @ 21.00

An old and broken Logan is quietly eking out an existence as a limo driver. His X-Men days are far behind him. Until a young girl called Laura comes looking for help. This final installment in Wolverine's story is a stunner. A superhero/western/drama that will knock you for six even if comic book movies aren't your thing. Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart and little Dafne Keen are all in spectacular form here. BTW, it's brutally violent so be wary.

The Good Girl   Sat   29/8   TG4 @ 23.15

Justine is trapped in a dead end job in a crappy little town and she's not enjoying life with her husband. Until she meets an unusual co-worker called Holden. Holden has....notions. This is the film that made people realise there was far more to Jennifer Aniston than haircuts and mega famous sitcoms. A heartfelt and emotional movie with a couple of fine supporting turns from the always reliable John C.Reilly and a babyfaced Jake Gyllenhaal.

Mandy   Sat   29/8   Film4 @ 22.45

Mandy and Red are living a lovely peaceful life in the wilds of the Pacific northwest. One day Mandy has the misfortune to run into a cult called Children of the New Dawn and their peace crumbles. This 2018 horror thriller is one hell of a watch. Horrifying, bizarre and strangely beautiful. It's the weirdest film you'll see on TV this week and Andrea Riseborough, Nicholas Cage and Ireland's own Ned Dennehy all add to the joy.

Looper   Sun   30/8   BBC2 @ 00.15

Set in the near future where unwanted people are disposed of by sending them back in time to be killed. This is all well and good until a man is faced with an older version of himself. A magnificently original piece of sci fi/action right here. Chilling, brutal, intelligent and mind boggling. Joseph Gordon Levitt and Bruce Willis have a whale of a time playing the young/old versions and Emily Blunt does stellar work as a protective mother caught up in it all.

28 Days   Sun   30/8   RTE1 @ 00.30

Gwen loves the sauce way too much and the day she ruins her sister's wedding is the day she ends up in rehab. She has no interest in being there but eventually realises it's for the best. The great Sandra Bullock does well in this rather cliched but very watchable look at the work involved in getting yourself clean. A nice cast includes Marianne Jean- Baptist, Alan Tudyk and Voggo Mortensen amongst others.

Identity   Sun   30/8   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

A disparate group of people find themselves being picked off one by one at a run down motel in the middle of nowhere. Just what on earth could be going on? An entertaining and blackly comic, grisly whodunnit filled with enough twists and turns for a dozen films. There's a fine cast too including John Cusack, Ray Liotta and Amanda Peet and their good work might just stop your eyes from rolling out of your head late in the story.

Border   Mon   31/8   CH4 @ 00.55

Tina's a customs officer with a difference. She can smell fear off the people she comes into contact with every day. One day she meets someone like her and things get.....interesting. This adult fairy-tale from Sweden contains some disturbing material but that doesn't stop it from being one of the best films of 2018. Original, surreal, darkly funny and grounded by a phenomenal turn from Eva Melander.

Steve Jobs   Mon   31/8   TG4 @ 21.30

Steve Jobs, the man who made Apple into what it is today wasn't a very nice person. We meet him at 3 stages in his life and get an insight into what made him tick. Danny Boyle's drama is an engaging watch and one that isn't afraid to show the nasty side of it's subject. Michael Fassbender as Jobs & Kate Winslet as Joanna Hoffman put in a excellent work and Seth Rogen is surprising in a dramatic role as Steve Wozniak.

Gumshoe   Mon   31/8   Talking Pictures TV @ 23.00

He's 31. He's a bingo caller and he's not happy about it. So Eddie puts an ad in the paper advertising himself as a private eye. He's been inspired by his love of private eye novels. Why not? It might be interesting. This early Stephen Frears film is fun, fast moving, quotable and contains some decent twists and turns that you need to keep sharp for. Albert Finney and Billie Whitelaw do well as the leads.

Horror Of Dracula   Tues   1/9   The Horror Channel @ 02.45

The Prince of Darkness has had his sanctuary disturbed and so sets out to prey on the loved ones of his attacker. Only one man, Dr Van Helsing, can stand up to him. This 1958 Hammer Horror take on the legend of Dracula is a magnificent film. Unsettling, sensual, beautiful looking and after 60 years, still startlingly scary in places. 2 brilliant performances from Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing seal the deal.

American Made   Tues   1/9   Film4 @ 21.00

The story of Barry Seal, pilot, cigar smuggler, CIA spook, drug runner contracted to the Medellin Cartel and eventually gun smuggler for the Contras. This Tom Cruise led action thriller is a highly enjoyable watch despite the subject matter. One of those films that would be considered far fetched if it was fiction. Strong turns from Domhnall Gleeson, Sarah Wright and Alejandro Edda all add to the fun.

Only God Forgives   Wed   2/9   Sony Movies @ 00.45

A decade ago Julian killed a man and disappeared into the Bangkok underground. Now the death of a young girl and the arrival of his mother into the mess flips his life upside down. Nicolas Winding Refn's 2013 crime drama is tough, seedy and vicious look into the sordid side of life in the Thai capital. It's not going to be for everyone but it's an interesting and atmospheric watch. Ryan Gosling's the lead but Kristin Scott Thomas and Vithaya Pansringarm own this film.

Drowning By Numbers   Thur   3/9   Film @ 01.20

3 women, a granny, a mother and a daughter, each called Cissie, are sick of their husbands and decide to do something about them. A grimly humorous and very odd movie from the depths of director Peter Greenaway's psyche. There's so much going on you won't be able to look way while a trio of mighty turns from Joan Plowright, Joely Richardson and Juliet Stevenson stave off the darkness of the story.

The Man Who Wanted To Fly   Thur   3/9   RTE1 @ 23.20

Bobby Coote is a Cavan man in his 80's and he has a dream. He wants to fly a plane before it's too late. So he sets out to put his plan into motion. This delightful documentary is just what we need these days. A look at an obsession 50 years in the making but also a look at the family and community around who want it all to come to fruition. Record this one and watch it when you need to cheer yourself up because it's just the ticket.

The Lion In Winter   Fri   4/9   TCM @ 06.35

England. The 12th century. King Henry II is coming to the end of his reign. His 3 sons are in the line of succession but his choice is clashing with that of his wife Queen Eleanor. Her and her children set out to force his hand. A witty and complex script filled with all manner of backstabbing and shnakery plus pitch perfect performances from Peter O'Toole & Katherine Hepburn turn this into a very congenial history lesson.

Tenet

About 15 minutes into Tenet, our lead character, known only as The Protagonist asks a scientist a question about something weird he's just seen happen. Her reply sums up the entire experience of Tenet. "Don't even try to understand it."

Fair enough. I think I got there eventually. But it left a few sub cranial bruises.

During an opera in Kiev a terrorist attack takes place and Ukranian armed forces storm the opera house not knowing there's an undercover CIA agent (John David Washington) along for the ride. His mission, is to steal an unidentified object from one of the VIP viewing areas. His exit route goes sideways and the object is taken but not before he witnesses a bizarre bit of impossible physics. He's later recruited into a secret organisation and told one word - 'Tenet'. His mission is to take down a Russian Oligarch called Andrei Sator (Kenneth Branagh) who's found a way to manipulate time. To help him he recruits a British agent called Neil (Robert Pattinson) who seems to know everything about everything and their way into Sator's organisation is through his wife Kat (Elizabeth Debicki), a woman with a lot to lose.

90 minutes into this I started to understand what was going on. Ok, started to understand is an overstatement but things started getting clearer. Things from earlier that had caused confusion suddenly made sense and with that the film became fun. Big fun. Big loud fun. Christopher Nolan loves his noisy action packed setpieces and here he throws them about with aplomb but it's only later in the film that you'll begin to enjoy them because my god Tenet is confusing. It's not exactly a time travel film but it's as brain melting as one. Terms like grandfather paradox and reverse entropy are thrown around and all you can do is grin and nod your head like you know what's going on. Until that moment mentioned earlier when things start to link together in your mind. Then it gets cool.

That 747 bit, those corridor fights, a bruising kitchen encounter, a horribly tense car chase, all out colour co-ordinated war. Full on moments that will sate the action junkie in all of us. If this is Nolan's audition for a Bond directing gig then he's passed with flying colours. His more intimate fight scenes still suffer from confusing geography and too much close up action but the wider stuff feels epic in scale. There's action here you'll have never seen on a cinema screen before and it will have you grinning like a loon. Until the moment you get confused again. And again. It's a film that will benefit from a second watch. One where you can take notes to turn into charts later and drive yourself batty.

That cast though. Second to none. Carrying the film through all it's madness. Even if you find it all a bit infuriating they'll keep you watching. Washington is cool as fuck, just like his daddy. All swagger and confidence, and absolutely believable when he's jamming a cheese grater into a scumbag's adam's apple. He's the audience proxy and it nearly feels like a relief at the moments when he's as confused as us. Pattinson's Neil is a fun addition who grows in stature as the film moves forward. His is the part that will stand up well to another viewing. Neil and The Protagonist work well together and their final moment is a great one, heavy with implication. Debicki's Kat gives the film it's bit of soul, stopping it feeling too clinical and like Pattinson's Neil, her Kat plays a far more substantial part than you'd think when she first appears. Branagh's bad guy is pure Bond villain. Cut crystal glasses filled with spirits, a genuinely horrible plan, all he's missing is a white cat in his lap to stroke. He's fun to watch. Except for that bit. That bit's not nice at all. Together though everyone gels and we even get a chip filled cameo from Nolan's muse too.

If you've avoided the cinema so far Tenet's a grand way to get back into the swing of things. You might leave with a headache but you can't deny it's a thrilling bit of cinema once you get your head around it.

If you get your head around it....

Tenet is in cinemas now.