Formative cinema experiences. Seeing Cliffhanger in a pit.

A hideous Italian poster

Summer 1993. A young Roscrea idiot is 14. He's unfeasibly excited. The reason? He's going to the new Stallone film later and it's going to be deadly.

We were on holidays in Clare and had decided to head into Limerick for a night at the flicks. Me, my brother, my mother and father. The cinema in Roscrea had closed a couple of years beforehand so a trip to the movies was a rare treat. In 93 Limerick still had cinemas in the city centre so in we went. Compared to what we had before the Savoy was fancy as hell. The prices too. Through gritted teeth my Da asked for 4 tickets to Cliffhanger. "Is everyone over 15" asked the ticket dude. "Yup" lied my Da. At 14 I made it through the deception but my 11 year old brother hadn't a chance. I did what all sadistic older siblings did and laughed into my sleeve while avoiding my Mother's death stare.

Ma took the hit and went with bro to The Last Action Hero, the Schwarzeneggar dud that almost derailed his career and me and Da were taken across the road to watch our film. Yup. Across the road. For some odd reason the Savoy had a screen on the other side of Bedford row. Ours was not to reason why so we went without question....... into the dankest dirtiest cinema screen I've ever had the misfortune to step into.

We were of course the only people in the place. No one else. No one on two legs anyway. The film started. That immense opening scene, so terrifying on the big screen, gripped us in seconds. Then came the gunfire that sets the story in motion. Things quietened down then. Nice one, time to breathe. Wait a minute? What's that sound? Do you hear that? I thought we were the only ones he........ is that sound coming from below us??? FU............

A glorious Chinese poster

Rats. Bastarding rats were scampering around under our chairs. We didn't seen them but we could hear them sifting through the rubbish beneath. It was nauseating. In 2019 we would have leapt to our feet and demanded our money back. But in 1993 we would have been laughed at so we stayed put with our feet on the back of the chair in front of us and our popcorn safe in our arms. We resolved not to let the furry little hooers ruin our evening so concentrated on the action in front of us. Of course the film rocked. John Lithgow laying on the ham thick. The glorious scenery. The brutal action. That cave fight that was so violent that my Da threatened to drag me out (A year later he left Reservoir Dogs in disgust). The perfect movie for a teenage boy. All that was missing was a bit of gratuitous nudity but sure that's why Under Siege was made.

Those teenage years are when you fall for what you love big time. Music, sport, reading, whatever. For me it was film. The early 90's are where most of my faves were made and I still have a massive soft spot for the action movies and action heroes of the era. Van Damme, Seagal, Arnie, Billy Blanks, Gary Daniels, Cynthia Rothrock, Eric Roberts, Jalal Merhi (the Beirut Superstar dontchaknow), Dolph Lundgren, Olivier Gruner and Jackie Chan were my cinema heroes and most of them still are. Cliffhanger was the first time I got to see one of them in action of the big screen and it was just great. No, Twins doesn't count.

26 years later I still love Cliffhanger. I'm watching it now. With no rodent friends hopefully.