Spiders are bastards

Like clockwork they arrive at the start of Septemer. The 8 legged bastards. Hairy little fuckers from the bowels of hell that insist on invading our homes come autumn.

I hate them.

I hate being on edge in my own home. The fear everytime you enter a room. The dread of seeing one climbing the wall above your bed and looking at you pure nonchalantly as you cower in fear in your own safe space. Not being able to open a window in case one comes in to get you. And yes, they do come for us. They definitely aren't more scared of us than we are of them. The malevolent little shits.

They are demonic emissaries of hell.

Every year they get bigger too. Last year i threw a shoe at one and it not only survived the blow but scuttled away afterwards. I swear I heard it laugh at me too.

September 2025

It's the scuttling that gets me. It's unnatural. Animals shouldn't be able to move sideways. You never know where they'll go. And they always go where you can't get to them. Smart little hooers. They do it knowing you won't be able to relax. When they go under your bed and vanish is the worst cos it means a night on the couch.

How can something so minute ruin your day so easily.

Oh i hate them. Don't be coming at me with the whole "They keep insects out of your gaff" nonsense. They'd go in my room 101. The world would be a better place without them.

Arachnid pricks.