September 08, 2019

The Banana Splits Movie


If you're of a certain vintage you might remember the Banana Splits, an American puppet show that used to pop up on English TV on Saturday mornings a long time ago. It had THE most annoying theme tune in the world and it made Barney look like University Challenge but it was undemanding fun and sure what else would you want when you're 8 years old. The news of a Banana Splits movie with a horror twist coming out piqued my interest. I knew it would be fun. I had no idea it would be so gory.

Oh it's so gory.

Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper and Snorky are the Banana Splits. Animatronic puppets adored by kids. One such kid is Harley Williams (Finlay Wotjak-Hissong) and for his birthday his mam Beth (Dani Kind) has gotten him tickets to a live taping of one of their shows. Him, Beth, his brother Austin and their shitbag step dad Mitch all head along expecting an hour of fun but what they get is a puppet fueled massacre that will change their lives FOREVER.


Whoever wrote this loves 80's horror, specifically slasher movies. The DNA of Friday The 13th, The Burning, Madman, Rosemary's Killer and Halloween et al is spattered all over The Banana Splits Movie and if you're a fan of the genre it's not a bad thing at all. If not your eyes will roll right out of your head at the plot contrivances and extreme cliche on display here. Everything you'd expect to see in a ropey horror gets rolled out. Characters heading off into the dark by themselves. Dead bodies popping up out of the blue while defying the laws of physics. Characters you want to see minced as soon as they open their mouths and the worst one, knowing exactly who will live and who will die. It's all here and you'll groan every single time.

And yet for all it's downsides it's just a big ol' pile of fun. There's an awful lot of pleasure to be gained from seeing evil puppets dismembering and bludgeoning the worst sections of society. Instagrammers who insists on livesharing every moment of their lives. Parents forcing their own failed dreams on their kids. Bullies who treat their staff and families like shit. Watching them getting set on fire and asphyxiating on novelty lollipops never gets old. I'm sure that probably paints me in an awful like but as Brendan Grace once said "I've had my fun and that's all that matters."


It's the takeaway food of movies. You'll enjoy it while you devour it but an hour later you'll have it all forgotten. Harley and Beth aside every other character blends into one. They exist to get turned into ketchup. There's no bit of depth here at all. Nothing unique. Nothing memorable. It lives in the moment. But if you like your splatter with a side order of dark giggles you might get a kick out of this. If not avoid it because it might ruin your Hanna-Barbera tainted childhood memories forever.


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