Bruce was the man

"Wrong place and the wrong time. Nothing personal."

"That's what you think. Last night I fucked your wife."

"Oh you did huh? How'd you know it was my wife?"

"She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' motherfucker with a hat."

"Oh you're real cool for a guy about to take a bullet."

"After fucking your wife I'll take two."

Bruce Willis as Joe Hallenbeck in The Last Boy Scout. Cracking wise with a gun aimed at his face. Hearing news of his retirement today for health reasons is terribly sad. 

For 15 year old boys in the early 90's this film was manna from heaven. Profane, violent, just a hint of nudity and Bruce Willis tied it all together. Laconic, cool as fuck, knew how to take a punch and how to throw one ("If you hit me again, I'll kill you." No idle threat). Joe was a throwback to an age of cigarette smoking heroes like Bogart and Robinson we hadn't learned about yet. I only knew him from the best Christmas film ever made, Die Hard (the cut to ribbons version ITV used to show, yippee kay-ay kemosabe) as I was too young when Moonlighting was on TV but he was the man. No nonsense, headbutted first and asked questions later, smoked like a trooper in an era when it was still acceptable for the good guys to do so. Back then it was hit after hit after hit, DH, Last Boy Scout, Die Hard 2, Death Becomes Her, Pulp Fiction, Die Hard With A Vengeance, The Fifth Element, Last Man Standing, The Siege and Sixth Sense. There were duds too but who cared when the good ones were so fucking entertaining. 

The 21st century wasn't as kind to him as the 90's. The duds started to outnumber the good ones. For every Sin City or 16 Blocks there were 4 or 5 bad choices and then the dire Die Hard sequels started to roll in and the audiences started to really drop away and after, for me away, his last great film, 2012's Looper it was all down hill into DTV hell with 3 or three poor efforts a year until 2018 when he really started pumping them out. Something felt off though, the smirk was gone, the fire behind the eyes seemingly snuffed out, every role was a sleepwalker and eventually he was a cameo in the films his name was attached too. He became a joke, everyone was laughing about him, me included. We all wished he'd just retire and stop besmirching his name.

Then rumours started flying. He was sick, he was making these films to make money while he still could. It made sense, it made us who slagged him off feel like cunts and then today it was all verified. Aphasia, an inability to comprehend or formulate language because of damage to specific brain regions. A condition not compatible with the performing arts to say the least. A family statement said he's retired from acting at the age of 67. You'd hope this isn't the last we see of him. He's too cool to be gone from our screens for good.