Deadly egg yolk. That's the big bad of Luigi Cozzi's Contamination, the 4th film of the unprosecuted 33 films on the DPP video nasty list. Egg yolk that turns lethal when it gets hot. Yup.
One of the joys of revisiting the nasties is realising some of the films you wrote off as crap as a younger viewer have aged quite well. Cannibal Man for example, watching it with hindsight and some knowledge of the Franco regime era that Spanish film was created in it becomes a deeper, richer experience. Same with the likes of Expose and The Werewolf And The Yeti. Sadly Contamination goes the other way. I'd remembered it as a fun bit of gory sci-fi with a smattering of action thrown in. It's sci-fi and it's mildly gory but jesus christ there's nothing fun about it. It's an intensely dull experience with a middle section that would test the resolve of a saint. Oh and it's special effects suck. Just look.
Ian McCulloch, star of the arguably the best nasty of them all, Zombie Flesh Eaters plays the woman clattering hero (yup, seriously, the fucking 80's) Commander Hubbard, an ex astronaut who's experiences on Mars scarred him psychologically and left him with a bottle of whiskey a day habit. He's been called back into action when a ship full of alien eggs is found in New York Harbour. These aren't chocolate or used for omelettes though, when they get hot they burst and release toxins that cause anyone in the vicinity to violently explode, spraying their innards all around. Enter army Colonel Stella Holmes, the scientist who's linked the eggs to Hubbards mission to Mars and now they're both heading to Colombia to follow a clue before someone uses these eggs for nefarious purposes.
Don't watch this one if you want a story that makes sense or you want a bit of excitement because you'll find neither here. The film's one gore effect is funny the first time it happens but after the 7th or 8th go around you'd rather your own stomach graphically popped rather than watch anymore of this. It's painful, an amazing example of how long 90 minutes can be made feel when you don't try at all and director Luigi Cozzi is definitely on autopilot here with a cheap and not cheerful rip off of Ridley Scott's Alien.....well not a rip off but more of an influenced by........well no, he stole the egg idea and the popping guts stuff anyway but left that film's character development and tension on the ground behind him. That middle section where our lead characters head to Colombia is the very definition of filler and doesn't hide the fact.
The only reason anyone remembers this film is it's nasty status. It got it's first release in 1982 minus 2 minutes and 40 seconds of blood and guts. Like the eggs did to their victims the BBFC eviscerated the film, removing everything objectionable from it. The below details are shamelessly stolen from Melonfarmers.
- 13 seconds cut from opening sequence showing a dead man's mutilated and decomposing body in a cupboard.
- 73 seconds cut from opening sequence showing several men graphically exploding after tampering with alien pods. Footage includes facial explosions and several scientists exploding at the gut in lingering slow-motion.
- 19 seconds cut from warehouse sequence showing criminals exploding at the gut after unwisely standing amongst alien pods.
- 2 seconds cut from warehouse sequence in which remains of freshly-exploded men are shown.
- 9 seconds cut from climax, in which man's head is devoured by queen alien.
- 11 seconds cut from climax showing a scientist exploding at the gut after being shot by Ian McCulloch.
- 33 seconds cut from climax showing chief villain's chest exploding in slow-motion viscera-launch spectacle.
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