The Lannister war camp. We get to meet Tywin Lannister, father of Jaime, Cersei and Tyrion.
He's skinning a stag. This mean's he's a man's man i suppose. He has no time for his children's nonsense. Jaime says he could care less what people think of him. It's "He couldn't care less." He could care less makes no sense. Jaime you dope.
Tywin is a belittling bollix really. But he does care about his kids.
Back at kings landing, Ned meets Cersei and we get to hear about why the Game Of Thrones is so important. because, well, you win or you die.
Ned tells Cersei he knows of their incestuous adventures. There it is. The moment he signs his death warrant. Ned you lemon. He plans to tell King Robert the truth. King Robert who went on a drunken hunting trip.....
Time for some shite talk by Littlefinger (ugh). Ros has already worked her way into his brothel and has to listen to him mansplaining his nefarious schemes while being pleasured by another girl (Gratuitous nudity klaxon). I remember this moment being very controversial back when it happened.
Back in Winterfell. Osha who attacked Bran in the woods is now a slave in the kitchen and scumbag Theon is sniffing around her. He really is a ropey fucker. He's trying to be the big man and she's having none of it. Being from North of the wall means she's seen scarier things than him. Scarier white things.....dun dun DUN
Sam and Jon spot Benjen's horse coming back from beyond the wall. Benjen aint on it. Poor Benjen. We wont be seeing him for a while.
Lord Commander Mormont of the wall has a fierce bad feeling about all of this.
King Robert's hunting trip has ended badly. What a shocker. He's alive but he's been disembowelled by a boar. Even on his deathbed he can't be sound.
Cersei's pretending to be sad even though this means Joffrey will be king soon. That little shit as king. Good jaysus. Robert has other plans though and sets up Ned to be in charge. Until Joffrey comes of age. Yeah, this won't last long.
They use milk of the poppy as a painkiller in Westoros. Nowhere is safe from opiates.
Lord Varys knows this was no accident. He knows everything. Varys rocks.
He also knows there's an assassin out for Daenerys aleady.
In Vaes Dothrak, Daenerys is trying to teach Drogo about the Iron Throne. His horse mad brain can't take it in at all. But its becoming clear that she is slowly wrapping him around her little finger. Gwan Daenerys.
The assassin strikes. That was fast. He doesn't last pissing time with Ser Jorah around to protect Daenerys. But Jorah was supposed to let this happen. He can never go home to Westeros again. Stupid loyalties. Now everyone knows she's in danger.
Back at the wall there's a shower of new recruits. Which means Jon and Sam are now graduated. Jon is a Steward. How did that happen? He won't get to fight. I suspect Ser Allister the bastard.
Sam is going to be a librarian. Who knows where this will lead him. I suspect high places.
Jon is to be commander Mormont's personal steward. Jon is pissy but he couldn't have gotten a better job.
Renly is ok with his brother King Robert's decision to put Ned in charge but he knows Cersei won't be. He's choosing a side now and like the fool he is he's choosing the wrong one. He knows his other brother Stannis should be king but would be a bad one. Joffrey is the likely heir to the throne so Renly wants Ned to strike fast so that he, Renly can become king. Ned knows he'll be a shite one though.
Ned decides to inform Stannis that he will back him just as Littlefinger (ugh) arrives. Ned the fool decides to inform him of everything he knows. That Joffrey is a product of incest and not a true heir. That Stannis should be king. Of all the fuckin peope to tell though. Dodgy ass Littlefinger.
Jon and Sam make their first trip north of the wall. Even the trees up north are weird.
It's nice to see some genuine warmth and friendliness amongst the men of the Nightswatch though.
All is good until Jon's direwolf Ghost casually saunters out of the woods with a severed hand in it's gob. The evil beyond the wall is nearer than they thought.
Khal Drogo is not one bit happy about the attempt on his wife's life. And eternally grateful to Ser Jorah. He's now happy to declare war on the 7 kingdoms.
His war speech is unsettling though. His rape promises. He's still a wild animal despite Daenerys thinking she has broken him.
Back at King's Landing King Robert has passed. Joffrey is know named king and requests Ned's presence. Gulp. Renly has done a legger. He knows what time it is. Ned though, is still oblivious.
The sight of that little shit on the Iron Throne would give you the shudders.
Ned makes his play for the throne, using the late King Robert's words. Cersei is having none of it. There's a mexican standoff. The Stark's vs The Lannister's.
Until Littlefinger (ugh) chooses a side. The Lannister's side. Ned is fucked.
A brilliant episode. Everything moving forward. Realisations are made and our minds become made up about certain characters. Political machinations and backstabbing in full flow. This episode is the more intimate side of Game Of Thrones at it's best.
Next up - The Pointy End
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