Theon and the men of the Iron Island's have attacked an unguarded Winterfell. Theon's plan having amazingly worked. Maester Luwin gets off a message by raven to Robb just before his capture. Bran is highly disappointed and still not taking Theon seriously. No one ever takes him seriously. To be taken seriously he must prove himself. Both to the people of Winterfell and his own men. Osha tries to worm her way in with him. Her reading of Bran's dream has come through. Theon's having none of it though. He remembers being the one who captured her. Ser Rodrik won't bow to Theon and he becomes proof of the iron now flowing in theon's blood when he gets decapitated in front of a screaming Bran. After numerous tries. Theon can't even kill a man correctly. Jesus that's a brutal scene. Above the wall the Night's Watch men are slowly freezing to death while following Ghost's nose for Wildling's and Mance Rayder. Jon think's he's a man of the north but Qhorin tells him he's still a boy. In Harrenhal Twyin is nothing but disappointed by the men in his command and has more respect for his cupbearer than them. If only he knew she was a Stark who's rapidly learning all his plans for taking on Robb. Arya's beginning to actually enjoy herself until Littlefinger (ugh) of all people turns up. She knows him but does he remember her? Luckily her boyish haircut hides her. Or does it. Littlefinger brings news of Renly's death and the fact that Margaery Tyrell is available for marriage. He's such a snakey fucker. Working every angle. He also bring's news of plans for Catelyn Stark's daughters..... Jon and his gang have found a stray pack of Wildlings. These Wildling's aren't all they are made out to be and are soon vanquished. Apart from one. A redhead called Ygritte.
She's questioned and giving away nothing. Jon is picked to execute her. Interestingly both executions in this show are framed the same way. But Jon, oh Jon, honorable Jon, can't do it and she does a legger. Don't chase her you fool. She knows the area. You don't!! Oh well, he does it anyway. Not the smartest fella is our Jon. I wonder what's going to happen here? Oh he's captured her anyway. Pointless chase. In King's Landing Cersei's daughter Myrcella is being shipped off to Dorne for marriage to the Martell's to strengthen ties. Cersei is not one bit pleased with Tyrion who planned it. He's not really pleased with himself either. Joffrey doesn't give a shit that his sister is gone. Joffrey's a prick though and taking out his lack of feeling on both Sansa and his protector Sandor Clegane aka The Hound. On their way back to the palace, the crowd's hate for the Lannister's overspills and they attack. In a joyous moment Joffrey gets hit in the face with a big lump of shit. Blood spills. A holy man is literally torn limb from limb in a bit George A. Romero would be proud of. The Hound has Joffrey but Tyrion can't find Sansa. If she dies Jaime will never be returned. He hits Joffrey another clatter. A clatter that won't be forgotten. Joffrey doesn't care one bit what happens to his betrothed. Sansa meanwhile has been captured by the crowd and she's about to be raped when the Hound turns up and disembowels the men who have her. Rough scene and a glimpse into what the future has in store for her. In Qarth Daenerys and Xaro Xhoan Daxos are waiting to meet the Spice King. The most powerful man in the city. Oh I don't like this Spice King. He's a bit of a sleaze.I don't trust him. Either does Daenerys. She makes a pitch for his help. He won't help her without a bit of trade. She's not used to hearing the word no. RAGE! In Harrenhal Arya & Tywin are having the chats. Her and Tywin get on surprisingly well and there's a nice warmth to their scenes that I'd forgotten about it. During the chats she steals a plan of battle.
On her way to send it she bumps into a guard who realises she's up to no good. On his way to rat her out he suddenly drops dead. A dart in his neck. Jaqen Hagar has helped her out for a second time. He only has one promise left to her. In the Westerlands Robb Stark is still at camp and here he runs into Talisa. They're flirting like 90!! Catelyn who has returned has to remind him that he's promised to the daughter of Walder Frey. He's not best pleased. He's even less pleased when he hears from Roose Bolton that Theon has betrayed them and taken Winterfell. In the North Jon & Ygritte are still wandering around lost. She's captured and he can't kill her or he'll die. It's night and they must rest. He has to snuggle up to her to stay warm. She keeps wiggling into him. The wiley minx. The news of Winterfell has broken Catelyn. She's terrified for her two youngest sons. Robb wants to return to take Winterfell but he cannot because their work against the Lannister's will be for nowt. So Roose Bolton decides to send his son to Winterfell instead to take it back. This should be ok shouldn't it..... In King's Landing Sansa has realised Joffrey hates her but Shae makes her keep it to herself for her own safety. In Winterfell Osha is still trying to worm her way in with Theon. *Gratuitous nudity klaxon* It's a cover though. And while he's preoccupied Hodor escapes with Bran and Rickon in tow. Each and everyone of the Stark's has now left the family home. WIll they ever return?? In Qarth, Daenerys finds out The Spice King (She assumes) is really not to be trusted when she returns to her lodgings to find her haidmaiden dead, her Dothraki guards shredded and NOOO!!!! her dragons stolen.
Now this was a good episode. Fast moving, brutal, loads happening, moments of genuine peril and the introduction of Ygritte, a great new character. More like this please.
Next up - A Man Without Honour Series 1 - 12345678910 Series 2 - 12345
1935 was a solid year for film. Some of the most famous and infamous films of all time got their first screenings. Drama and musicals were the big hits this year as the horror & gangster boom of the earlier part of the decade slowed down. The most famous singer/actor of all time arrived in a small shack in Tupelo, Mississippi and a couple of all time greats were both born and made their film debuts. It wasn't all good though, a couple of seedy scandals rocked Hollywood too.
Thelma Todd (left) was a popular actress contracted to Hal Roach studios who rose to fame starring in Laurel & Hardy and Marx Brothers films. In 1935 she was found dead in her car. Suicide was the verdict until rumours of a jealous boyfriend and murder arose. The boyfriend in question was director Roland West who supposedly admitted to the crime at a later date. His only punishment was being frozen out by the studios. Loretta Young (right) was an unwed actress who found herself pregnant (supposedly by her co-star Clark Gable, also above right). The studio she worked for, MGM, tried to force to her have an abortion but instead she went into hiding for 9 months claiming to be ill. After the birth her child was taken from her and placed into an orphanage. Where Loretta then adopted the child from. She adopted her own child to save the studio scandal. MGM of course had a hand in every part of this shameful tale.
The biggest film of the year was Mutiny On The Bounty which also won best picture at the Oscars. The second film version of the famous story is still surprisingly brutal and holds up after 84 years. TBH it is probably the best version of all. Laughton is a great Captain Bligh. A real bastard.
The 1930's gra for musicals was very evident in 1935. Top Hat was the big earner in this genre bringing two of Hollywood's most talented performers together. Modern day film fans will know it as the film that brings a smile to John Coffey's face in The Green Mile.
John Ford brought Ireland and all it's complexities to the big screen this year. The Informer was a big critical hit and won him best director. It's still masterful stuff. Brilliantly acted, tense as hell and a rare American film that managed to tap into our national psyche.
One of the more notorious films of the 20th century was released this year too. Leni Riefenstahl's Triumph Of The Will. A propaganda film made on the orders of ol' one ball himself, Adolf Hitler. Shot solely to show off the sheer size and power of the Nazi machine. It's a strange and unsettling film to watch but many filming techniques, like aerial photography, began here and are still in common use today.
Shirley Temple was the biggest star of 1935 and Curly Top built on that popularity. This film had the privilege of being the last film released by Fox studios before they merged with 20th Century films and became 20th Century Fox. Oddly enough the most wholesome film of the year ended up being banned in Denmark because it contained corruption. Ok.
Bride Of Frankenstein was the big horror release of the year. It's a brilliant movie and a rare sequel that not only lives up to it's predecessor but also surpasses it. Funny, scary, inventive as hell and technically astonishing for the time. A stunning performance from Elsa Lanchester kicked off a long and varied career for her that lasted over 40 years.
84 years after it's release The 39 Steps is still an essential film. Hitchcock was on fire with this one and a lot of modern day movies still take their cues from it pacewise. This was the movie that made America sit up and take notice of the master of suspense. I can't say enough good things about this.
The pet project of superstar producer David O. Selznick was one of the first big screen adaptions of a Charles Dickens novel and it was a gamble that paid off royally becoming the 3rd biggest movie of the year. It still holds up and still regularly appears on TV. Just look at that cast. There's even a famous Irish face in there. A daughter of Roscommon no less.
A fair few famous faces arrived this year. From left to right - Elvis Presley, Lee Remick, Donald Sutherland, Julie Andrews and Charles Grodin. Sadly Elvis and Lee were taken from us at terribly young ages but the remaining three are still here and happily still working. At the age of 83 Donald Sutherland still has a work ethic that would put people 50 years younger than him to shame.
It was a year of famous debuts too.
Olivia De Havilland in Alibi Ike. Olivia is still with us too. 102 and going strong.
Don Ameche in Dante's Inferno. This film is still remembered for its terrifying depiction of Hell.
Joan Fontaine in No More Ladies.
Henry Fonda in The Farmer Takes A Wife
Vivien Leigh in Look Up And Laugh. Within 4 years she was the lead in Gone With The Wind. Wow.
Not a bad year for film at all. Scandals and fascism aside that is. Now for a movie. As always the legality of watching films on youtube is a bit iffy so I'll leave it up to you what you want to do. It's worth bending you moral compass for this one though. Previous years 1934 1933 1932 1931 1930
At Renly Baratheon's war camp we are ready for war. Catelyn is promising Renly that her son Robb has no interest in the Iron throne. He just wants to rule the north like his father did. Renly is surprising ok with this. Things are going well. Too well. Way too well for Westoros. A breeze blasts through the tent. The demon birthed by Melisandre rocks up and skewers Renly with some kind of smoke sword. A disappointingly dull ending for a character in this show. Brienne, Renly's protector is left looking like a chump and Renly's men blame her for his death and attack her. She of course minces them. Catelyn and her decide it's time to leave. Littlefinger (ugh) senses it's time to get the hell out of dodge and the Martells, Loras and Margaey take his advice. Littefinger might be a scumbag but he's good at survival and now his the Martell's as buddies. In King's Landing the Bannister's are happy as clams about Renly's death. One less enemy. Only Stannis to worry about now. And Joffrey has plans for any potential sieges. Tyrion's new spy Lancel tells him the plan involves wildfire. Wildfire is deadly. Stannis isn't one bit upset about his brother Renly's demise. He's mad for power and it's blinding him. Davos's head is still fried after the demon birth he watched. Stannis doesn't care. He's deep into his planning of the siege of King's Landing. He can taste the Iron Throne. Davos makes his position on Melisandre clear. Stannis instantly loses faith in him and tasks him to lead the ships heading for Blackwater Bay. A suicide mission and both know it. Tyrion is more worried about Stannis than Cersei. He's the smart one in the family. The common folk of the city are standing up against the Lannister's too. The stories of incest have riled them up and the uneven distribution of wealth is close to tipping the city over the edge. Game Of Thrones has it's own 1%.
On the Iron island's Theon is preparing to go to war for his father. His squad of soldiers has no respect for him whatsover. Which is fair enough because he's a twat. They've far more respect for Yara, his sister. She has 30 ships to command. He has 1. It's killing him. Theon's second mate sows a strange seed in his head though. Why not go for a big prize. A prize that will earn him a lot of respect. A prize like Winterfell, currently under the command of poor little Bran. In Harrenhal Arya is now serving Tywin Lannister his food and is privy to all his conversations. If only he knew he had a Stark in his midst. She now knows her brother Robb is succeeding in scaring the power in the South. While out getting water she spots on of the prisoners she rescued from the fire. But he's in a knights uniform. How can that be? Because it's Jaqen Hagar. Master of disguise. Hitman extraordinaire. He owes Arya his life. He'll now kill 3 men for her as a thank you. Her first pick is the torturer of Harrenhal. Beyond the wall the men of the Night's watch are marching North in search of Benjen. It's a wild desolate place. A hard place to survive. Sam keeps them all warm with his knowledge of the North, the first men who lived there. In King's Landing Tyrion is studying wildfire. It's the substance that made the Targaryens so powerful for so long. It's creator says it will keep Stannis at bay forever. Tyrion is wary. No surprise there. That is until he sees the sheer size of the city's stock of wildfire. Thing's are looking up for the Lannister's. In Qarth, Daenerys is enjoying her baby dragons. They might be little but they can already breath fire. She's suspicious of her host and his plans for her so has her handmaiden Doreah worm her way into Qarth's society to see what's up. The few Dothraki warriors still with her are far too uncivilsed for life in a city. It's a strange city and an invite to the house of the undying unsettles her.
Catelyn and Brienne are still on the run, both still freaking out about Renly's demonic death. They're heading towards Robb and on the way Brienne moves her loyalty to Catelyn. She's a good woman to have at your side! In Winterfell Bran receives word that Gregor Clegane's (really Theon's) men are laying siege to a town near them. He sends the majority of his soldiers to help out. Leaving Winterfell underguarded. Not a good idea. Bran and Osha are still debating his three eyed raven dreams. No one is quite sure what they mean. Bran's having other dreams too. One about water hitting Winterfell. He's about to find out his dreams are prophetic. In the north we meet Qhorin Halfhand, a Nights Watch man with a lot of northern knowledge. He's telling Jon about Mance Rayder and why he's a Wilding to be feared. The Wildling's are also joining together for some strange reason...... Qhorin wants them all to fight like Wildling's using guerilla tactics. That or retreat. Otherwise they haven't a hope. A small group set off to take on Mance. Kill him and get out fast. Jon, the fool, decides to tag along. Xaro Xhoan Daxos has his beady eye on Daenerys. He knows she has great things in her future. So he pops the question. They will pool their resources and take on the world. Now she's mega suspicious. Jorah knows this is a bad idea. She needs to win her own battles and not be propped up by others. Plus he's mad about her. Thankfully she trusts Jorah more than Xaro Xhoan Daxos and decides to take his advice to play it cool and not jump into anything silly. Back in Harrenhal Arya & Gendry are getting on well. She's giving him advice and he'd be a fool not to listen to her. Then a scream. The Harrenhal torturer is dead. His head twisted right around. Jaqen Hagar has kept true to his promise. One of the people on Arya's death list can now be scratched off. Another dull episode. Pieces being moved into place for later stories. Meh. IIRC the next epsiode is way better. Next up - The Old Gods and the New Series 1 - 12345678910 Series 2 - 1234
Did ya ever hear the story of Sisypus? He was a fella in ancient Greece who was such a melt to his people that when he died the gods of the underworld decided to punish him by forcing him to push a heavy boulder up a hill but it would always roll back down before he reached the top. Everytime he'd have to start again. For eternity. Anyway. I've 554 films on my to-watch list. 554. Jesus.
I keep them all on an excel file. Yes, yes I am a sad bastard. It's file that's nearly 8 years old at this stage. Stuff is added to it and subtracted from it constantly. I knock films off it at a rate of 2-3 a week. But each week I add 4-5. It's never ending. It's such a first world problem ain't it. God I'm a moany michael. I love it really. I'll never catch up. But I'll have a wicked time trying. What's your to-watch list like?
The Lannister army men are chilling out, having a relaxing chat on a rainy night. Joking about Renly's "secret" affair with Loras Tyrell. Nothing in the 7th kingdoms is hush hush. Something's up though. The horses are spooked. THEN!! Carnage. Robb Stark has once again beaten the Lannister's, this time in a surprise night time attack and once again due to budget issues we don't get to see it. Grrr. We do get to meet Roose Bolton. Banner man to the Starks. He's iffy though. Can he be trusted? He's deffo not a nice man, wanting to flay prisoners for information. Robb is slightly more humane. He gets to meet Talisa for the first time. A battlefield nurse with a heart. He's instantly smitten. She's too nice for this violent world and she has no truck with Robb and his waring ways. I bet that will change though. Joffrey is being a scumbag once again. This time pointing a crossbow at Sansa. He's angry with Robb and taking it out on her. But Cersei knows how important it is that she live so she's safe from Joffrey for the time being. He still lets Ser Meryn Trant beat her though in an awful scene. Tyrion saves the day though thankfully and shames Joffrey. He's mugged the king off in front of a crowd. This won't go down well. Bron then gets one of the best lines of the series to date. "There's no cure for being a cunt." The line that spawned a million memes. Perfect. It's Joffrey's birthday and Tyrion has gifted him two whores. One of them is Ros. It's time for Joffrey to become a man. *Gratuitous nudity klaxon* He has other ideas though and tortures them both as a fuck you to Tyrion. This is Game Of Thrones at it's nastiest and most excessive. Littlefinger (ugh) has turned up at Renly's camp. Renly has no time for his bullshit and knows Littlefinger is only there to lick his arse in case he beats Cersei.
Soon enough Littlefinger is sniffing around Margery Tyrell, Renly's wife. He's heard the Renly rumours too. He's fierce nosey. She's a Tyrell though and can see through his bullshit too. Daenerys is still marching. Oh man her story this season sucks. Padding all over the shop. TBH they should have removed her from the show and brought her back in season 3. She's outside the city of Qarth but they have no time for outsiders. Arya, Gendry, Hotpie and the gang are brought by Tywin Lannister's men to Harrenhal. There Ser Gregor Clegane is torturing people for info on the Brotherhood, a pack of soldiers sent out by Ned Stark to stop Clegane. The torture here is horrifying. God this is a vile episode tbh. Not one bit enjoyable. There's so much dwelling on suffering. It's very gratuitous. Arya's death list now consists of Joffrey, Cersei, Ser Ilyn Payne (Her Da's executioner) and The Hound. At Renly's camp Littlefinger (ugh) reunites with Catelyn. She know despises him, blaming him in part from Ned's death. To worm his way back in he offers her info on Arya and Sansa. She hasn't seen her daughters in months and now she can have them back if she gives up Jaime. She has to trust him now especially when he brings her her dead husband's bones. Back at Harrenhal Gregor Clegane is choosing people for torture. Hotpie stands up to him and then pisses his pants. He's surprisingly brave for a boy called Hotpie. Renly and Catelyn meet with Stannis & Melisandre the red witch for a pre battle chat. Two brothers of the late King Robert. Both vying for the throne. Brother vs Brother. Catelyn wants both brothers to join together to face the Lannister's but Stannis's ego won't allow it. Renly has an army but Stannis has a Melisandre. The leaders of Qarth hold an audience with Daenerys. They've no time for her and will only offer food & water in exchange for a glimpse of her dragons. When she refuses they turn and leave her & her people to starve. Her rage interests one of the leaders though, a man by the name of Xaro Xhoan Daxos who lets them all in. You get the feeling he doesn't have her best interests at heart though.
Daenerys has to trust him though. To be a good queen she has to put the welfare of her people first. They need to eat and so she has to take a risk. Into Qarth they march. In Harrenal Gendry is picked next for torture. Oh shit. He can't die! He's King Robert's last son. He has to live. Thankfully Tywin Lannister returns and stops the torture, preferring the use the prisoners for work. Wow. He's not a totally heartless bollix. Spotting Arya, the smallest prisoner, in the crowd, he picks her to be his cupbearer. Lucky Arya, moving up in the world. Cersei is pissed off that Tyrion locked up her spy Maester Pycelle and sends her nephew Lancel to tell Tyrion that. Her nephew that she's riding. Tyrion knows this and blackmails Lancel into being his spy. Tyrion knows all. It's never a bad idea to take him on. Ser Davos and Stannis are having the chats. Davos is smart man, one who knows compromise is better than battle but Stannis wants to win. And he's got a secret weapon. Davos is tasked with sneaking Melisandre ashore, just below Renly's camp. What's going on? Davos doesn't know what to make of Melisandre. Can't say i blame him. She terrifies me. Off they wander into a seacave below Renly's camp. Stannis's plan is about to be birthed. Literally. Melisandre is pregnant. At full term. Only a few days after she was with Stannis. It's a supernatural pregnancy and Davos is here to witness the labour. Us too in a moment that will haunt your dreams. A demon claws it's way out of her. A demon made of smoke and evil. An entity born with only one goal in life. Kill Renly Baratheon.
A tough episode to love. Two new and important characters rock up but the amount of nastiness on display here makes you forget everything else. I'm not enjoying Season 2 as much as i remember before. Hopefully it gets better. It all feels like a lot of padding as we near the middle of the season.
Next up - The Ghost Of Harrenhal Series 1 - 12345678910 Series 2 - 123
Polar's opening scene takes place outside a big country mansion in Chile. A man loaded up on viagra is murdered by 3 assassins while being pleasured by the (unbeknownst to him) 4th. As the helicopter containing his killers flies off in the background his drug induced erection deflates in the foreground. Get used to that deflating feeling. It's going to be with you for the next 120 minutes. Like the 4th assassin, Polar sucks. Duncan (Mads Mikkelsen) is about to retire. The man known as the Black Kaiser was once the most feared assassin in the world and now he wants to live out the rest of his life in peace and with a huge pension coming his way he'll be able to do it in luxury too. His boss Mr Blut (Matt Lucas, yep him) has other ideas though. He's rather keep Duncan's pension for himself and so unleashes a crack squad of younger hungrier assassins to polish him off. Duncan and his new friend Camille (Vanessa Hudgens) are now in the line of fire.
I hated this. It's truly dreadful stuff. Mean spirited, nasty, cringeworthy, embarrassing shit. Netflix was on a good run there for a while but I've a feeling this one will be popping up in numerous bottom 10 lists come the end of the year. Just watching the opening scene I knew I was letting myself in for a world of hurt and yeah it didn't disappoint. It wants to be John Wick so badly you can taste it. A lone assassin taking on an army of them in a world where assassin organisations exist. But it doesn't have an ounce of that film's wit or style or sense of fun. Polar's idea of comedy is having a group of baddies messily gun down an obese man who's neck is too big to garrot. Bloody murder is played off as slapstick. A naked woman is killed with an axe to the head for LOLZ. The bad guy is played by, in a shockingly bad casting choice, Matt Lucas, a man about as threatening as a fuzzy wuzzy widdle bunny wabbit. The film wants us to be shocked by what he says and what he does. We're supposed to say to ourselves "Jesus, it's yer man, the only gay in the village. The drummer from Shooting Stars. Why's he pawing that woman and why is he torturing the main fella?" That's the level this shitshow is operating at. None of it works. None of it is shocking. It's so explicit in it's violence that you'll be numb to it all after 5 minutes. Eyes are stabbed out, foreheads are drilled, dead bodies are stabbed numerous times, faces are ripped apart. It's so brutal it's almost alienating. One torture scene goes on for what feels like 10 minutes and it's for nothing, the story doesn't move on and the film stops dead while the camera can lovingly gloat over puddles of blood and lumps of torn flesh. It's just another in a long line of juvenile shock moments from director Jonas Åkerlund, the man behind the scuzzy meth drama Spun (a film so sleazy it was banned in Ireland for a while), The Prodigy's Smack My Bitch Up video and Rammstein's infamously pornographic clip Pussy. It feels like a video nasty directed by an over caffeinated child who got his hand's on Daddy's wallet.
There was the bones of an interesting story here. A hitman trying to go straight but haunted by his past. You could have had an interesting bit of psychological drama to play with here. Can a violent man leave his past behind him? Is redemption possible? Nope, Jonas Akerlund plays it all out as broadly and offensively as possible. I know it's based on a comic but it's ok to change things for the better ya know? The gang of assassins going after Duncan are the worst people you'll see onscreen this year. They're like the Vengaboys with machine guns, all screaming and quirky posturing and cleavage. Every time they appear you'll hate yourself a little bit more for continuing to sit through this garbage. It's biggest sin is wasting an actor as interesting as Mads Mikkelsen. The big brooding Scandinavian actor who makes every thing he appears in better by just being there fails here. He's good but here he's bundled with a character that just can't be saved in a story that's been done a million times before. Avoid. Seriously, don't watch this. You'll save yourself a big headache and a need to shower in bleach.
Earl Stone is a casually racist old grump with a track record of choosing friends and work over family. Yet within 5 minutes he'll have you charmed and crossing your fingers for him. It takes a special kind of screen presence to be able to cast a spell like that over an audience. Clint Eastwood is one such actor with that kind of presence. Like him or loathe him, the man is cinema. If the Mule is his onscreen swansong it's a fine way to go out. Earl (Eastwood) is a horticulturalist in his 10th decade who's flower business has been decimated by the rise of online sales. After years of favouring his job over his wife Mary (Dianne Wiest) he's found himself estranged and alone. After a trip to his grand-daughter's wedding goes bad he makes a connection with a guest that leads to him becoming a drug mule throughout the state of Illnois. Police won't look twice at an old age pensioner so he rapidly becomes the go-to driver for the cartel he works for. At the same time Colin Bates (Bradley Cooper) is a DEA agent looking to grow his reputation by making big drug busts. Both men's respective careers set them on a collision course with each other.
I really liked this. It feels like a fine way to end a career while being a very entertaining and affecting film in it's own right. Earl feels like the final destination for a lot of Eastwood's onscreen persona's. Men like Harry Callaghan, Frank Morris, Thunderbolt, Frank Horrigan and Morris Schaffer. Men who put work at the forefront of their life, voracious, vivacious characters who lived large and ignored what was left in their wake. It feels like Clint is finally putting the ghosts of his career to bed. It's time to rest. In parts he looks so frail and old that it's nearly upsetting. At the same time it feels like he's having fun with our ideas of him too. Earl grows flowers for a living, a career as far from Dirty Harry's as possible. One great moment sees him in a room full of gun toting men while he stands there looking gormless with a stick of lip balm in his hand. It's a lovely wink at the audience. It's not the comedy trailers made it out to be either. It's an effective story about loss, about wasted time and bitter regret. Every one in the film regrets something. Earl and his family. Colin for spending so much time at work he's missing important anniversaries. Mary and the havoc a bad marriage created for her daughter. Even Earl's cartel hander Julio (Ignacio Serricchio, scary at first but then sound) is stressed by the strong arm act he has to put on, an act that doesn't suit him because like everyone else he's fallen for Earl's charm. To live is to have regrets. If you don't have them well then you haven't lived. Earl has lived a life and now he has to pay the piper for it.
Eastwood directed this too. He's never been one for crazy camera moves and stylistic flourishes but there's such a calm and steady way with which he goes about his work that you won't miss any bit of flashiness. Being the man in charge he also puts himself into a scene that is the very definition of wish fulfilment. It's a hilariously silly moment but it got a big laugh at the screening I attended. He knows how to please a crowd. With himself front and centre it's no surprise that the other characters don't fare as well but Cooper and Wiest do get a couple of good moments to shine. It's great to see Wiest onscreen again. It feels like way too long since her last substantial role in Synecdoche, New York. Cooper's role feels like a passing of the torch too. Eastwood directed him in American Sniper a few years back and his own directorial debut, A Star Is Born, felt very like Eastwood's earlier naturalistic work. They go well together. Go see this. You'll like it. It's not very often we get a film with a nonogenarian in the lead role and when we do they are rarely as good as this.
Craster knows Jon saw him bring an infant into the woods. He's not a happy man. He's had his fill of the Night's Watch. Either is Commander Mormont. Until Jon realises Mormont has been looking the other way with concern to Craster. Corruption runs deep, even good men like Mormont are twisted. Jon Snow is too pure for the North. Now he's wondering what the child was sacrificed for? What indeed. Sam is still sniffing around Gilly. Before they leave Craster's keep he gives her a gift. We witness the beginning of one of the nicer relationships in Game Of Thrones. In Winterfell Bran is beginning to be troubled by his dreams. Maester Aemon knows there's a deeper meaning behind them but Bran's too young for all that stuff. Yet he still references dragons, giants and the children of the forest. Creatures that will all become important later on. At Renly's camp we get our first glimpse of Brienne Of Tarth. Brienne rocks. Sworn protector of Renly and all round hardy fucker. No one messes with her. We also meet Margaery Tyrell. Renly's betrothed. Brother of Loras, Renly's real lover. Jesus it's all fierce complicated. The second we meet Marfaery we can instantly see how disingenous she is. Catelyn Stark is here to ask Renly to join Robb against the Lannisters. She gets the sense Renly doesn't take any of this seriously. He likes the idea of war more than the actuality. Her and Brienne bond instantly. Theon is feeling like a lost boy back in his home. No one takes him seriously. No one will for a log long time. Balon's plans to take the North clash with Theon's loyalty to the Stark's. Balon knows this and only trust's Theon with one battleship. His sister Yara is far more of a leader than him. This storyline is crap tbh. It comes to nothing.
Shae is getting ticked off at being kept under wraps in King's Landing. But if Tywin finds out she's there she'll be skinned. Tyrion wants her all to himself. Sansa is playing happy families with Cersei and her two non Joffrey children, Marcella and Tommen. She ain't happy about it. Cersei knows well Sansa hates them all. Poor Sansa, no poker face at all. Tyrion's way of worming Shae into Kings Landing life is to make her Sansa's new handmaiden. The two of these will get on well. After Sansa stops being a wagon to her. Maester Pycelle and Tyrion are planning things. Varys and Tyrion are planning things. Littlefinger (ugh) and Tyrion are planning things. This things involve his niece Marcella being married off to 3 different people. Tyrion is trying to find out who he can trust so is spreading misinformation to all to see what leaks. Littlefinger's eye light up. God he's an untrustworthy bollix. Renly and Loras are getting it on. Riding his wife's brother. Tut tut tut. Loras is still sour over his defeat by a girl. Because of this Renly still hasn't consummated his marriage to Margaery. Not for her want of trying. *Gratuitous nudity klaxon* He can't even begin to hide his lack of interest. She knows whats up. Tyrell's know all. She's happy to have a threesome with her brother and Renly just so she can get pregnant. Freaky. Cersei knows about Tyrion's plans for Marcella. Tyrion now knows Maester Pycelle is untrustworthy. He's a smart lil fella. Cersei is willing to die for her kids though. For all her downsides she truly loves her kids. There is no denying that. Theon is struggling with true nature. So he makes a choice and is reborn as a man of the Iron Islands. Will this make him a better man? Nah.
Littlefinger now knows he was a part of Tyrion's plan. Haha Tyrion mugged him off. He's not happy. But Tyrion's next plan to get Jaime released will see Littlefinger meeting Catelyn once again. His first love. Now without a husband.... Time to face Pycelle, the traitor. Once threatened with castration and beard loss he becomes Tyrion's spy instead. But not after a while in a cell. As snakey as Varys is Tyrion knows he's the one he can trust. Varys has plenty to teach Tyrion. He'll be a very handy ally. On the way north Arya is missing her family. Yoren teaches her how to compartmentalise the horror's she's seen. How to put her father's death to one side so it doesn't get in the way of her journey. A small and important scene. Plus it's the beginning of Arya's revenge mantra. Uh-oh, the Kings soldiers have found them. Arya and Gendry are both in danger now. Yoren goes out like a champ trying to protect them both. Can't fault a man who goes down fighting. Gendry shows he's worth his money on the battlefield too. During the attack Arya saves Jaqen Hagar. The man who sets her on a course for revenge. Her buddy Lommy is sadistically killed and her sword is stolen. And they all get shipped to Harrenhall.
No Robb, no Daenerys. Not too much skipping between stories. Not a bad episode and one of the greatest characters in the show gets introduced. Not too shabby at all. Next up - Garden Of Bones Series 1 - 12345678910 Series 2 - 12
