Straight into the violence on Kings Landing. Joffrey's idea of a good time is watching the Hound murdering people for an audience.
He's a cruel little shit, even on his birthday. Force feeding a man wine isn't very nice.
Sansa is capable of some form of manipulation and saves the man. A fact that will come back to save her in the future.
Tyrion and Bronn rock up and make him feel like the child he really is. Tyrion has had a taste of battle and is feeling like a big man for once.
Maester Pycelle gets notice from the North that winter is coming. It's time to prepare. Don't worry lads, ive seen the future. Ye've loads of time. Littlefinger (ugh) is being a gowl about it of course.
Cersei not happy to see tyrion has survived. And wait, what was that he was whistling? The Rains Of Castermere! Tyrion knows evoking the captured Jaime's name will get her around to his way of thinking too. Joffrey just needs to be controlled. No more repeats of the Ned Stark incident.
Bran as the only Stark left at Winterfell has to do grown up duties like deal with the law. He's not exactly pleased by this but he's well able for it as the de facto Lord.
Bran's dream time. This stuff bores the arse off me. He's a direwolf now instead of a three eyed raven. His storyline is definitely the worst in the series.
There's a red comet in the sky over Winterfell. Everyone sees it as a different premonition. Osha is the only right one though, seeing it as a warning of dragons.
And speaking of dragons. Daenerys and her very small band of brothers are trekking across Vaes Dothrak. Her 3 dragon pups putting a spell on everyone they meet. But this awe isn't putting food in anyone's bellies.
After council from Ser Jorah she decides to send her three riders out to find a place for them to call home for a while. This series is a dull one for Daenerys. Full of padding. Hmmm i'd forgotten about this. Shit.
The comet is over the land beyond the wall too where Jon and the men of castle black are searching for Benjen. Serious whiff of danger up here and arriving at scumbag Craster's gaff. One of the nastier pieces of work in Westeros. A man who marries his daughters to create more daughters.
Straight away Jon and him become enemies. Jon has a great way of instantly pissing people off doesn't he. Questions are asked about where the wildlings have gone. Seems they've joined up with Mance Rayder. The man gathering them up to take on the south someday.
Gilly!! Our first time seeing her. I'd forgotten she was a daughter of this bastard.
Three more first times now as we meet Stannis Barantheon, brother of the late King Robert, and his red witch Melisandre. Stannis is a dull forgettable man but Melisandre is deadly. And very powerful. Ser Davos Seawortg is there too. Davos rocks.
Stannis is letting dark magic set his path for being king. A LARGE ERROR. Dark magic is never the way. Davos is skeptical but he's smart too. No point in losing his head yet.
Ned Stark's words have reached Stannis. He now knows Joffrey is a product of incest. He must lay claim to the kingdom now.
Jaime's still rotting in a Stark cell. He's basically a mascot at this stage. Robb has a beard now. Not a boy anymore. And his Direwolf Grey Wind has grown mightily since S1. Stories of Joffrey's parentage are seemingly known all over Westeros now.
Shae is not a fan of King's Landing. She knows that under it's sheen its a shithole. The whores of Westeros are always the smartest people in it.
She's a randy devil. Tyrion landed on his feet with her. They actually seem to be in love. Love never ends well in this show.
Littlefinger (ugh) and Cersei are wondering where Arya is. For two people who know it all she's done very well to avoid her. Littlefinger sics Cersei on Varys. Maybe he'll know. He usually does. Not before he gets a dig in about her "relationship" with her brother. But he's just fucked with the wrong person. She shows him what real power is. Littlefinger is put back in his place fast.
One of Jaime's cousins, last seen in Emmerdale farm, is being sent south by Robb with his terms. He wants his sisters back. And he wants the North to cede from the South. This will not go down well with the Lannister's.
Robb's become a fine leader. Theon Greyjoy is still a rat by his side and wants to ingratiate himself. He can get his own people, of the Iron Islands on Robb's side.
Catelyn knows the Iron people are not to be trusted. Listen to your mam Robb. And stop making promises you can't keep. Catelyn is so go to make peace with Renly Baratheon to build a mega army. I don't foresee this going well.
Joffrey is doing a bit of redesigning in the throne room. It's all he's good for. He's even calling his grandad's, Tywin, skills as a man of war into question. The dope.
Joffrey isn't a complete idiot though. He knows his father had a load of other children around King's Landing. Children who could have a claim to his throne.
GRATUITOUS NUDITY KLAXON! Ros is now the madame in Littlefinger's brothel.
The relaxed atmosphere is soon shattered when Joffrey's soldiers burst in and murder the baby of a woman working there. Here it is, a glimpse of the utter brutality of this world as every one of King Robert's child in Kings Landing is murdered. A horrible scene.
All but one. Gendry who's on his way north to join the Night's Watch.
Gendry's not alone though. Arya Stark is with him. She made it out.
A good episode. 3 new characters introduced. 2 great, 1 shit. The child killing scene though. Jesus. Even for a show as rough as this that was hard going.
Next up - The Night Lands
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