10 Things I Hate About You. The pinnacle of teen comedies. Julia Stiles. Heath Ledger. Sad. Hilarious. Clever. Based on The Taming Of The Shrew by Shakespeare and a thousand times more entertaining than it.
Plus this scene is brilliant.
June 30, 2021
The best and worst of the year so far
It's been another strange year for cinema but there's gems out there if you're willing to look. Some turds too. Here's my best and worst of 2021 at the half way point. Reviews are in the links. All were released in Ireland this year.
The Good
Abe Applebaum. Kid Detective. A hero as a child. A disaster as an adult. A darkly funny mystery about the failures that haunt us and keep us in a state of arrested development. A genuine surprise. Adam Brody will blow you away.
A very solid survival horror with a final shot that would haunt your dreams for days after. Those dreams we've all had of leaving everything behind and going to live off the grid. Yeah... they'll dissipate fast after this.
Pissed on in America for some bizarre reason but this supernatural horror about a ghoulish mountain find was just excellent. A beautifully shot film too with a mega lead turn by James Badge Dale, an actor who should be massive.
My favourite film of the year so far. An exceedingly dark Danish family/comedy/gangster thriller about the aftermath of a disaster that's filled with moments that would appall you while making you snort laughing. Mads Mikkelsen is perfect in it.
The dark side of growing old in America is turned into a thriller that would enrage you and engiggle (yes i made this word up, deal with it) you in equal measure. Rosamund Pike is fantastically septic in this film that goes ways you'd never imagine..
A look at the 1995 Srebrenica massacre from the POV of a UN translator trying to save her family. A haunting, brilliantly acted look at a horrifying time, that thankfully leaves all the brutality to your imagination. Which somehow makes it even worse. Jasna Đuričić's performance is a stunner.
Bags of cans. Bulls. Impalement. Immigration. Bleeding eyeballs. That one head the ball we all grew up with. Oh and vampires. An Irish comedy horror that's both hilarious and absolutely terrifying. One I'd have loved to have seen in a packed cinema.
Ben Wheatley is back in horror mode and his tale of a trip into the woods is both nightmarish and very very topical. DON'T FUCK WITH NATURE. And definitely stay away from quietly spoken men you meet deep in the forest.
The story of a broken Korean hitman and the quiet connection he makes with a kindred spirit when they meet on the island he's hiding on. Brutally brutally violent but so soulful. A mad concoction that really works.
The most stressful family comedy you'll see. A women goes to a Jewish wake and .....oh man it gets intense. It might be based in a community alien to most of us but so much of it will hit home. Rachel Sennott is one to watch.
The Bad
You'd assume a war film starring Anthony Mackay as a cyborg would be fun right? You'd be wrong. Oh so wrong.
A terrorist incident in the channel tunnel somehow turns into the dullest film of the year. Led by a turn from Sam Heughan that should ensure he never gets to play Bond. Hopefully anyway.
Yet another film starring Melissa McCarthy, directed by her husband that once again wastes every bit of talent she has. Painful. A real wasted opportunity for a different take on the superhero genre.
The Ugly
A hatefully bad Irish film. Adam And Paul without an ounce of that film's heart. Mean spirited, nasty, flat out putrid.
June 29, 2021
Strange Eyes
The best song from any movie ever. Just felt the need to say this. More people need to see this film and hear the songs within it. A movie about a mafia hitman played by Forrest Whitaker who lives his live to a strict samurai code AND a film with a load of hip hop tunes in it. Sure how could you go wrong?
This has been a public service announcement.
June 28, 2021
31 day challenge for the summer months - day 3
The Life Of Brian.
Never fails.
This scene will make me laugh forever.
The Ice Road
"It's going to crack for maybe two, three thousand metres!!"
"That's over a mile!!"
The latest Liam Neeson thriller is laced with dialogue that will make your eyeballs spin in their sockets. It hits levels of stupidity not seen since the 8th of March 1987, the day The A- Team finished and it contains the worst CGI since Air Force One went down in......well in Air Force One.
But I kinda liked it.
Mike McCann (Liam Neeson) has just been fired for being a good brother and it's fortuitous timing because his skills are needed elsewhere. A mine has just collapsed in the Canadian province of Manitoba and the men trapped are running out of oxygen. Wellheads to drain gas are needed to allow safe blasting and these wellheads have to be transported from over the American border across ice roads over lakes that have been closed due to rising Spring temperatures. It's deadly dangerous work and only those truckers with iron constitutions are willing to take it on. Mike is one such driver and his brother/mechanic Gurty (Marcus Thomas) is along for the trip. In the trucks behind him are fellow drivers Jim Goldenrod (Laurence Fishburne), Tantoo (Amber Midthunder) and company man Tom Varnay (Benjamin Walker). Will they make it before the icy depths can claim them?
Capitalism is BAD. The US government's treatment of veterans is BAD. Over medication is BAD. Racism is BAD. These are things we know to be true but it's not a bad thing to see them bluntly shouted at us every now and then. The Ice Road belts us in the face with them in the quieter moments between it's scenes of Mike and co struggling to control big rigs sliding across a white landscape. In one scene Mike is guilty of that very racism and it's a moment that will remind you of Neeson's own controversial admissions from 2019. Admissions more than likely to blame for the downward trajectory of his career lately. Whether he can drag himself back out of DTV land remains to be seen but as always he's the best thing in the movies he makes. The cranky but decent screen persona he's built since 2008's Taken is present and correct and helps The Ice Road through some of it's more idiotic turns, and there's a lot of those.
Films about people in big lorries driving through dangerous territories have been done many times before with The Wages Of Fear and Sorcerer being the standouts. Two films that would leave you clammy from stress just watching these skilled drivers doing their jobs while the terrain around them turns malevolent. In 2021 a simple story line like that just won't do so here we get gunplay, corporate dodginess, bad guys on snowmobiles riding right out of a Bond film, full on lorry cab scraps, man made avalanches and even a Chekov's rat. It's all silly and unnecessary window dressing in a story that needs none of it. It gets so full on that the blunt treatment of themes mentioned earlier eventually feels almost subtle and thoughtful.
Still, there's some of us out here who still get a kick watching the old skool heroes getting the job done. Neeson's hit the stage where he doesn't even bother trying an American accent anymore ("You can kiss my Irish ass" will raise a titter) and Laurence Fishburne is always a welcome sight, even if he is very underused here. Amber Midthunder who's been quietly doing good work on tv and film for the last decade makes an impression too as a First Nation tribe member who's had it up to *here* with the bullshit she faces as an indigenous woman in a male world. If anything comes from this film hopefully it will be her career on the up and up.
The Ice Road is available to stream on Amazon now. It's silly fluff but it might entertain you for a couple of hours. You won't remember much when it's over though.
June 27, 2021
31 day challenge for the summer months - day 2
A film that makes me cry. Huh. It's gotta be the Grave Of The Fireflies. A film that would make anyone weep like a baby who's started teething. And watching it again doesn't make it easier to take. Nope, it gets worse each time because you know whats coming and waaaaaaaahhhh, poor Seita and Setsuko. Oh jesus, it's a heartbreaker.
Algunas películas Españolas shur
82 days into learning Spanish on Duolingo and its slowly killing me. I'm on a 82 day streak and I'll snap if I miss a day. I'm letting the notifications get under me skin. I get pissed off when someone gets by me on the scoreboard. It's bringing out a competitive side in me that I fuckin hate. I'm remembering why I hated languages in school. I need another way to help me learn. Something enjoyable. So I asked film twitter for some Spanish film recs (that weren't Pedro Almodovar) and man did they deliver. It's not always a festering pile of screeching pus on there.
Marshland
Corruption Of Chris Miller
Noches De Los Girasoles
The Tit And The Moon
No
Planta 4
Monday's In The Sun
Spirit Of The Beehive
Smoke And Mirrors
Mirage
Blackthorn
El Verdugo
Gaze
Arrugas
Lovers Of The Arctic Circle
Tesis
Julia's Eyes
Alan, Carmela!
Desierto
El Sur
There's a list of 20 to work off. Lovely stuff.
June 26, 2021
31 day film challenge for the summer months - day 1
Day 1. The film I've watched the most. Oh jesus this is a tough one.
Wait, no it isn't. It's The Godfather. Without a doubt. It's not my favourite film but I've watched it so many times I know most of it off by heart. A sentence that I realise makes fuck all sense. The first time I saw it was in my uncle's gaff with my cousins when I was about 12 and I've seen it a stupid amount of times since. I had it on VHS recorded off the telly, ads and all. Then had it on a VHS purchased from Easons in the Square in Tallaght. Then the DVD boxset. Then the Blu-ray one. If it ever comes on Netflix I'll most likely watch it there too. It never gets old. It never gets boring. It's the cinematic equivalent of comfort food.
Kinda want to watch it now tbh.
16 movies on TV this week to get you out of your head for a while.
10 Rillington Place Sat 26/6 Great! Movies Classic (Formerly Sony Movies Classic) @ 22.00
In post war London a man named John Christie is harbouring dark impulses and his new neighbour is about the take the fall for them all. This true life drama is a stark and violent look at the madness lurking in the minds of men and when one of those men is played by Richard Attenborough, best known in his latter days for friendly, fatherly roles, it just makes the whole thing even creepier. John Hurt will break your heart in support.
The Lodgers Sat 26/6 RTE1 @ 23.45
A pair of twins live in a creepy house in 1920's Ireland. They live their lives strictly and follow three rules every day. Until one day Rachel breaks one of the rules. Things get scary. Shot on location at Wexford's notorious Loftus Hall, this is a hefty, oppressive and atmospheric horror that will get under your skin. Charlotte Vega and Bill Milner do well as the twins and get effective backing from Deirdre O'Kane and Moe Dunford.
Pride Sat 26/6 RTE2 @ 23.50
Gay activists & striking coal miners become unlikely partners in 1980's England when both find themselves suffering under the yoke of Margaret Thatcher. They team up and important things happen. A strong drama that's both upsetting and inspiring and a interesting little history lesson to boot. Joseph Gilgun and Imelda Staunton amongst others are deadly but Bill Nighy is just spot on in a true story that will stay with you.
Captain Fantastic Sat 26/6 BBC2 @ Midnight
Living in the wilds of the Pacific Northwest, Ben and his family have been away from the grid for a long time. A tragedy forces him and his 6 kids back into civilisation and everyone struggles to adapt. A different kind of family film but a warm and absorbing one driven by a couple of wonderful performances from George Mackay and Viggo Mortenson as a well meaning father who you'll want to kick.
This Sporting Life Sun 27/6 Talking Pictures TV @ 02.00
Frank is a god on the pitch. He's the rugby league star everyone is watching but off the field his life is empty and expressing the emotions caused by that in a time of restrain is always going to be frowned on. This kitchen sink drama from 1963 will still strike a chord with viewers 58 years later. That's always the sign of a great film and a powerful showing from Richard Harris will nail you to your chair.
Disobedience Sun 27/6 Film4 @ 23.15
Ronit's father has died in London and she's come home, back to London and the orthodox Jewish roots she grew up with, to see him off. But she's changed a lot in the time she's been away and others are noticing. A thought provoking and often distressing look into a community that's closed off from modern life. Rachel Weisz, Rachel McAdams and Alessandro Nivolo provide a trio of stellar performances.
The Wedding Singer Mon 28/6 Comedy Central @ 21.00
Robbie Hart's been ripped apart (poetry) after being jilted at the alter and his life is a shambles. Bitterness is ruining his wedding singing career but a chance encounter with an enchanting waitress might just..... I know a lot of people can't handle Adam Sandler but he's effortlessly charming here as the lead of this hilarious and heartfelt 80's set comedy. The clothes, the music, the lovely Drew Barrymore, how could you not like this film?
Brad's Status Mon 28/6 TG4 @ 21.30
His son is going to college and Brad is having a midlife crisis. So he decides to take advantage of a college campus trip to catch up with and compare himself to the faces of his past. Always a mistake. Your enjoyment of this depends on your enjoyment of Ben Stiller but if you can take his whiny ways you'll find this an affecting and sometimes funny look at the horrors of middle age. Stiller, Jenna Fischer, Austin Abrams and Michael Sheen all do well here.
And Then We Danced Tues 29/6 Film4 @ 01.00
He's spent years perfecting his ballet craft and Merab is just about to claim a place in his country's national dance troup. Well that is the plan until another dancer demi contretemps his way into Merab's head. A well told and compassionate tale of love that nearly got it's cast and director in a lot of trouble in conservative Georgia. Levan Gelbakhiani and Bachi Valishvili both nail their physically demanding roles with aplomb.
Bram Stoker's Dracula Tues 29/6 The Horror Channel @ 22.00
Yeah, we all know the story. Jonathan Harker. The Borgo Pass. A scary old dude who turns young when he drinks blood. Mina, the woman he falls for. Renfield. Carfax Abbey. Van Helsing. It's all been done to death but in the hands of Francis Ford Coppola the story of Dracula becomes a hilariously overwrought and bonkers watch that will set your imagination revving. Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder and & Anthony Hopkins lead a packed cast.
Tracker Wed 30/6 Great! Movies (formerly Sony Movies) @ 18.55
Kereama is a Maori man on the run for a murder he didn't commit. The murdered man was white so Kereama has no chance at justice and with an ex Boer war veteran chasing him across New Zealand his life is looking very endangered. Temuera Morrison and Ray Winstone give their all in a well shot, well acted, exciting and satisfying drama set during a dark period of New Zealand history.
The Mule Wed 30/6 RTE1 @ 21.30
An elderly man is hired by a Mexican cartel to smuggle drugs across the border because the cops won't look twice at him. He turns out to be rather good at his job. Of course he does, he's played by Clint Eastwood for godssake. The man himself proves he still has what it takes in this enjoyable slice of wish fulfillment. It's far from perfect but its a fun way to pass a couple of hours. Dianne Wiest adds a touch of class to proceedings.
Casablanca Thur 1/7 BBC4 @ 22.40
Classic movie time. Humphrey Bogart plays Rick Blaine, a nightclub owner in World War 2 era Morocco who has his finger in a number of pies. When an ex-lover appears it throws him for six. This is one of those famous movies that truly lives up to the hype. You'll recognise scenes and dialogue even if you've never seen it before. Ingrid Bergman and Bogie are at the top of their game here. Oh and the Marseillaise scene is one of the best ever filmed. Aux armes, citoyens, formez vos bataillons!!
Hear My Song Thur 1/7 Film4 @ 23.40
In the 1950's tax affairs saw tenor Josef Locke fleeing England to lay low in Ireland. There he stayed for years until a nightclub owner called Micky O'Neill seeks him out for both of their benefits. This fictional take on a famous era of Locke's life is a lovely, touching, funny and heartrending slice of whimsy led by a Ned Beatty (RIP) performance that's up there with the best of his work. Tara Fitzgerald and Adrian Dunbar add to a fine film.
Point Blank Fri 2/7 TCM @ 01.50
Walker has been left for dead by a man he called a friend and now he's out for revenge and nobody or nothing is going to get in his way. John Boorman's 1967 crime thriller is an excellent watch and is one that has been highly influential to the crime genre in the five decades since it was made. Tense, darkly comic, brutal and fast moving. Lee Marvin is a vicious lead and gets hefty back up from Angie Dickinson and John Vernon.
Borg Vs McEnroe Fri 2/7 BBC2 @ 23.05
The year is 1980. The venue is Wimbledon. Bjorn Borg is king of the tennis world. 1980 could be his 5th consecutive victory. But a fiery American named John McEnroe is making waves. It's a little cheesy but this is an entertaining look at a sporting rivalry that captured the imagination of the world, a film that you'll have fun with even if you don't get on with the sport it's about. Sverrir Gudnason and Shia LaBeouf both have a good time in the lead roles.
Retweets are always appreciated. Sound.
June 25, 2021
Fuck it
Fuck it. It's happening. Tonight's the night.
The only question is do I skip Attack Of The Clones and The Rise of Skywalker or do it properly and add in Rogue One and Solo?
Decisions, decisions.
Btw, VI, V, IV, VII, VIII, III, I, XI, II. If you know, you know.
June 24, 2021
Fast & Furious 9
The Fast And Furious franchise has always been built around the people in the cars, never the cars themselves. People who embrace one another, reconcile, forgive, the friendships they build and the extended family they are all a part of are the cornerstones the films have been built on. Humanity is key, a fact constantly expounded upon by Dominic Toretto and the people who know him best. Sadly that humanity starts ebbing away fast when FF9 is replacing it's characters with CGI versions of themselves in an effort to up the ante with stunts not physically possible.
Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) are living the quiet life with his son Brian. A quietness quickly shattered when their ex-handler Mr Nobody (Kurt Russell) is attacked and the tech he was transporting is stolen. Tech that in the wrong hands would end life on earth as we know it. Soon the old team is reassembled and they head off on a globe trotting adventure to take out the bad guys. Bad guys led by Jakob Toretto (John Cena), Dom's estranged brother who hasn't been seen since a family tragedy 30 years before. A tragedy that had lasting effects on both siblings.
The Fast And The Furious series started way back in 2001. It was silly fun, a boy racer's wet dream. In 2011 the fifth installment arrived with added Dwayne Johnson and all sense of realism vanished as the former street racers took part in a heist that left Rio De Janeiro looking like a broken pile of Lego. In 2021 the 9th episode finally touches down and proves once and for all that the franchise has spun right off the planet. Literally. It is absolutely preposterous. From it's opening jungle & clifftop based set-piece to its final lunar decision you'll be gleefully appalled at it's stupidity. Some of ye will love it, but most won't because the story has finally gone to far, with it verging...... no, tipping over into self parody at times. There's no bit of tension anymore because the series has fallen so in love with it's characters that it's afraid to kill any of them off and when it does it ties itself in knots to bring them back. If you've seen the trailer you'll recognise a long dead face and the sleight of hand explanation doled out for his continued existence will make your eyes spin.
Roman, that annoying mouthpiece played by Tyrese since 2 Fast 2 Furious back in 2003, should have been wiped off the map 18 years ago but for some reason he keeps surviving with him at one stage even pondering if he's invincible in a moment that with kill you with cringe. Earlier in the film a chase goes wrong and you think the film is after springing a surprise on us concerning his character but it chickens out and it's right then you know there'll be no risks taken here. It's the same old ding dong once again and while that does have it's pleasures (the Edinburgh chase is great crunching fun and Vin kicking underground ass is a bruising bit of much needed non cgi physicality), it is starting to feel rather old hat. Throw in an desperately forgettable bad guy (Thue Ersted Rasmussen) and an ending that's almost entirely computer generated, including the main characters, and you end up with an installment that will be forgotten fast.
It's annoying because some of it had real promise. Dwayne Johnson is a no show this time around letting us focus on the faces we fell for first time around including Jordana Brewster who's back as Dom's sister Mia. The film starts with a flashback to 1989 that explains a lot of what Dom is about. It's a gritty, grounded & refreshing reminder of how the series started and it's something you'd like to see a lot more of (looking at the up and coming actors in the parts suggests a prequel may be on the cards, wink wink). It's also a film that never forgets it's past with cameos from all the proceeding films popping up throughout to keep all 9 films tied together. Even the much maligned parts 3 & 4 get a nod with familiar faces played by Lucas Black, Bow Wow and Shea Whigham all adding to the stew. In a pleasing callback Whigham's character is still rocking the injury doled out by Paul Walker all those years ago. Small things like this will keep the fanbase interested and the money rolling in even as the series loses sight of what made it so popular.
Fast & Furious 9 is out everywhere tomorrow. In a series known for it's OTT factor it's finally gone too far and that's saying a LOT. Fingers crossed part 10 dials things back a bit. More family BBQ's and less orbit please.
June 23, 2021
Memorable cinema visits - Shooter
May 2007. I'm in London to meet my brother who was living there at the time. I'm sitting in Leicester square waiting to meet him and the realisation comes over me that we are meeting at dinnertime and not lunchtime. Bollix. What will I do with myself for the next few hours. Will I go and have a few pints? No, that's a terrible idea as I'll be a shambling wreck by the time we meet up.
Wait a minute. I'm in Leicester Square, a place flanked by cinemas.
Score.
The Odeon is to my right. The place where all the English film premieres take place. It's a fancy looking place. I'm not a fancy looking person but fuck it, why not, I'm on holidays. What's on?
Shooter. A violent Mark Wahlberg film. Right up my street.
"One for Shooter please."
"Ok sir, that will be £14 please."
"What?"
"£14 pounds or you can have a seat in the royal circle for £18"
".................. Where the royal family sits?"
"Yes."
"............................"
*My conscience*
"What ticket would you like?"
"Royal circle please."
I'm inside. Climbing a stairs covered in red velvet carpet. If anyone from home saw me I'd never live it down. There's a bar here. A bar in a cinema. This is wicked. If cinemas in Ireland had bars there would be chaos.
"Boddingtons please."
Then I'm sitting in the middle of the royal circle, a paddy with a pint, deep behind enemy lines, at the edge of a balcony overlooking 100's of seats below. Velvet curtains cover the screen. You can smell the posh in the air. I've a serious dose of imposter syndrome but fuck it. I think I'm in Liz's chair and you know i'm going to fart into it before the film is over. There's no one near me. I'm the only one thick enough to spend 18 quid on a cinema ticket but ....oh shush the film is starting.
Shooter is great craic. Bob Lee Swagger popping caps in faces from 500 yards. How could you go wrong. But the film was just background noise to the splendor of the place. Elegant is a word I rarely use but it's the only way to describe the old school cool. Multiplex cinemas are sterile boxes designed for maximum profit but this was how films were meant to be seen. A real shrine to cinema. It's been modernised since and lost an awful lot of it's charm but someday I'm going back there again.
June 22, 2021
Fave film posters
I love a good movie poster. They're my favourite kind of art. Better than any Rembrandt or Picasso.
For some reason most of my favourites come from the horror genre. I love the luridness of them. The promise of filth and horror that most of them never deliver. But they did a great job of luring an audience in and therefore did their job brilliantly. Gimme these big ol slabs of cheesiness over the boring modern day posters anytime. It's not all horror though, westerns and kung fu flicks make an appearance too.
My favourite film poster ever. Just look at it. It's ridiculous. Cheesy gorgeousness. Promises all matter of naughtiness that the film never delivers but it sells the film perfectly.
I love this one. It's so ridiculous and nothing like the creature above appears in the film but since when did that ever matter.
My all time favourite horror film. It's a masterpiece and so is the poster. However if you watch the film expecting glowy eyed beasts and scenes set amongst New York skyscrapers you are going to be sorely disappointed. I love the red x rating too. Gives the film a touch of the forbidden.
Remember this one from VHS covers back in the 80's and 90's. So cheesy you can smell the camembert.
Gaudy, mad, bloody and over the top. A perfect description of the film too tbh.
Italian horror film posters were never shy and this is a great example. The film is awful but who cares.
The 36 Chambers Of Shaolin is one of the all time great martial arts films and so needs an all time great poster. You mightn't agree but it's just simple and perfect.
Another prime example of glorious Italian sleaze. All the guilty pleasures of the film crammed into a one sheet poster.
Love this one for it's nastiness and that tagline is just brilliant. "Unearthly lust" LOL.
Funny, silly, action packed, just like every Jackie Chan film made in China. The comical heads on Jackie, Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao make me laugh everytime.
This for Squirm gives a great idea of a the gooey and icky unpleasantness waiting for us inside the film. Plus its just lovely artwork.
The best Bond poster of all is one of the earliest ones. Sordid, sexy, dangerous, action packed. The way a Bond film should be.
I love the Beyond one for it's garish madness. And for once it's made up of actual scenes from the film.
How goddamn cool is this Spanish poster for Abilene Town. Simple but dripping with Western atmosphere.
Real smell of hentai off this one, enough to give you a dose of the shudders. Just like the film. An excellent poster for an excellent film.
The Polish poster for El Dorado is just lovely. Nicely surreal and off kilter as vintage Polish film art tended to be. The Duke never looked funnier.
This eerie peach of a poster for another Italian horror from the master Mario Bava is a beaut. Just look at those eyes. This one goes for insane money on ebay.
Perfection. Michael Corleone all alone in an isolation of his own making. Moody as hell. Excellent stuff
And finally the 2 newest posters on the list. The first is for a film made in 1975 but the poster was only unveiled recently and I fell head over heels for it.
HOW GREAT IS THIS!!!! So cool and simple and scary. I loved the older famous poster but this is immense.
And last but not least this one. For a western this time. Elegant and a lovely sepia tone and one I must own. Look at it, it's just gorgeous.
What's your favourite film poster?
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