June 30, 2017

A perfect pairing of sound and vision Part 2. Goodfellas.

30 seconds of a man smoking a cigarette set to the tune of a Cream classic.

Sounds unremarkable right? Wrong. It's stunning. Martin Scorsese at his most magical. Takes a nothing moment and turns it into a scene that will give you goosebumps everytime you see it.

Just look at Robert De Niro's face. He doesn't say a word and out acts everyone. In the world. Ever.

The moment he decides he isn't going to share any of the money he robbed from the Lufthansa heist. Nope. He's just going to kill everyone instead.

And soundtracked by 'Sunshine Of Your Love'.



It doesn't get better than this. 

Previous Parts

Last Of The Mohicans





June 28, 2017

Baby Driver. Great fun.




Do you know what's deadly? Going into a film you fully expect to hate and finding out it's great fun and a thoroughly entertaining way to spend 2 hrs. It's just lovely.

Edgar Wright directed this. I despised his last 2 films. Found them all style and no substance, especially the execrable Scott Pilgrim Vs The World. Even typing that hurt. The trailers for this made it look like more of the same but happily it's far from the case. There's plenty in here to back up the style. 

Baby (Ansel Elgort) is the star of the film. A young man suffering from tinnitus and possessing otherworldly skill behind the wheel. To combat the tinnitus he constantly listens to music. And his job is driving bank robbers away after they commit their crimes. Baby wants out of this world but his skills are just too valuable to some.

It's fairly straightforward stuff but it's done with such vim and vigour that you can't help getting pulled into it. It's funny (one gag about mask confusion made me snort with laughter), fast, vicious in places and most importantly it's got heart. Baby might be a criminal but he's still a decent chap and he cares a lot about the people in his life. If a film doesn't have a character to root for it's not much of a film.

The cast is cracking. Elgort is a solid lead, Kevin Spacey as the brains behind the operation has a whale of a time. Lily Collins as the girl who steals Baby's heart is just lovely. Jamie Foxx has great fun as a loop the loop criminal who just wants to fire his gun. Jon Hamm and Eiza Gonzalez round out the cast but don't add much TBH. Hamm was great in Mad Men but I just haven't liked him in any films yet. Can't put my finger on why.

The soundtrack though. The music is amazing. The whole film is built around it. It's as big a part of the film as the characters or plotline. It's a constant presence. Gunfire sprays in rhythm to it. Cars weave through traffic to it. Sentences spoken by the characters dance around it. It's like a character in the film, almost a co-lead with Elgort. Truth be told I didn't recognise a lot of it but the choices seemed to fit the film perfectly. Kudos to Wright on his musical taste. I'll be looking a lot of it up.

I really liked this. I think ye will too. 





June 27, 2017

Cardboard Gangsters. Well worth your time.

the lads

Some mild spoilers.

From it's evocative opening scenes to it's watch through your fingers ending Cardboard Gangsters feels like it's the real deal.

Jay Connolly is a wannabe DJ from Darndale and the de-facto leader of a gang made up of his childhood friends, the easy going and loyal Cobbie, the careful and wary Glenner and the whacked out mouthpiece Dano . They are young bored men, gobby, cocky and mad to prove they have the stuff to take over the local drug scene. When Jay loses his social welfare because of a nixer they finally decide to give real criminality a whirl. But the current head of the Darndale drug scene, Derra, doesn't like competition. Not one bit. And the fact that his wife Kim has eyes for Jay isn't going to help matters.

I really liked this. It felt real. No pretty boy drug dealers. No lovely flats with lovely views. The faces and areas looked lived in and authentic. It's fast moving, never boring. It's not a long film but never feels rushed and has plenty of meat on its bones. Characters are sketched in enough to make us care. We get a good sense that the main characters are lifelong friends from a couple of scenes and some well written lines. The film gives us just enough of the main character's backstory too that we can (just about) empathise with him and understand how he got to this place in life. Great acting too, no weak link, ok some of the actors you can just tell it's their first time but no one really puts a foot wrong. Apart from Damien Dempsey (who looked like he was about to laugh after one badly delivered line but he looks the part so we'll leave him off). The story is nothing new but when it's this well done I can't complain. 

It's dark stuff, not surprising considering the subject matter. It's heavy going and not for everyone. Thankfully there is a laugh or two sprinkled into the mix, including a great sight gag involving a piece of Garda equipment. I've seen reviews mention it's violence. It is brutal in places but it's not a graphic film. The majority of its violence is off-screen or happening just out of frame. It's played off the faces of the perpetrators and left to your imagination which can actually at times make it seem even worse. But it's not gratuitous and fits the context of the film. The language though, janey, that's where the film earns it's 18 certificate.




John Connors is immense in this. He's lost the awkwardness he had in some of his Love/Hate scenes and puts in a brilliant performance here. A simmering ball of rage one step away from exploding, brilliantly brooding. There's a one take shot late in the film of an emotional outburst that's up just jaw dropping. Fionn Walton as Dano is great too. So great that he started to annoy me because he reminded me of a few people I know. All talk and no trousers. Jimmy Smallhorne as Derra certainly looks the part and puts in a suitably menacing performance but shows the character's human side too especially in later scenes. Kierston Wareing makes the most of a smaller role as the glamorous gangster's moll who likes the bad boys a bit too much. Her role is one that that has turned up in crime films over and over again since the early days of cinema but she definitely makes it her own.

It's a lovely looking film. From the hazy halcyonic run through old buildings and woods at the beginning to a scene shot through the smoke from a half hearted bonfire. Darndale is far from a photogenic place but the director finds small pockets of beauty in there. The warm glow of summer is captured well. The film must have been made in the 4 days of summer we got last year.

It's a film for modern day Ireland. Young men, lost, forgotten, nothing to do, no work, a government that doesn't care about them, turning to the only work they can get.  A mention of social welfare fraud will stick in Leo Varadkar's craw if he ever watches it. This is about the Ireland that doesn't matter to the big boys.

Definitely director Mark O'Connor's best work yet. He's matured into a fine filmmaker. King Of The Travellers and Stalker especially were good though rough around the edges but had bucket loads of promise and with this film he's definitely delivered on that promise. The chap is full of talent and I'd love to see him move away from crime for his next film. Himself and John Connors make a super team and I hope they continue to work together.

A couple of negatives. Too many drug fueled montages. They got old by the second one and by the fourth I rolled my eyes but they didn't last too long. A subplot involving that old mainstay of Irish films, the Ra, seemed unfinished too and sort of shoehorned in but I suppose when you are dealing in this area of life they do cast a large shadow over it.

TLDR; A cracking and gritty slice of life that feels genuine and that's buoyed by some superb acting. Oh and the soundtrack is lethal. Packed with Irish hiphop.  You'll learn a lesson from this film too. Drugs are bad. Don't fuck about with them. It never ever ends well. 

Go see it if you can. It feels great to support Irish cinema.








June 26, 2017

My 10 best films of the year so far



Not sure if many will agree but it's been a fine fine year for films so far. Just ignore the absolute state of the above picture.

My 10 best so far. In no particular order.

The Lost City Of Z  A magnificent return to old style film making. An epic tale of a man's obsession with exploration. And a fascinating true story to boot.

Prevenge  A pregnant woman is driven to homicidal rage by voice she assumes is coming from her womb. A viciously dark and twisty British comedy with a thoroughly satisfying storyline. 

I Am Not Your Negro  An essential documentary about the dark racist heart of America. A documentary we all need to see. Especially now.

The Red Turtle   A dialogue free animated film about a man on a deserted island and the creature he meets. Studio Ghibli strikes again. A magical fairytale of a film.

Logan  The film X-Men fans waited 17 years to see and goddamn it did not disappoint. Vicious, mayhem filled stuff with a real touch of emotion to it.

Raw  A vegetarian is forced to eat meat and it changes her horrifically. A lurid, queasy slice of brilliance.

The Lego Batman Movie  Just awesome fun. I know i won't laugh as much as at anything again this year.

Colossal  Alcoholism, failed lives, disappointment, gigantic monsters. This film defies explanation and it's all the better for it. Anne Hathaway & Jason Sudekis are amazing.

Wonder Woman  Finally DC films get something right in this new age of comic book films. That trench scene. *Goosebumps*

The Girl With All The Gifts  A magnificent little sci-fi horror that manages the reinvigorate tired old zombie tropes and cliches into something absolutely fresh and gripping.

The worst

CHIPS  Nasty mean spirited muck. Michael Peña deserves to be in better films than this.

Baywatch  Utter fucking muck. I judge myself for paying to see this. 

Assassin's Creed  I got drawn in by the Irish cast like a fool. An awful film, overlong and still feels like massive chunks are missing. GIbberish, full of plot holes and........it's shite.


The most disappointing.

Silence  A new Martin Scorsese film is always something to look forward to but this just killed me. I've no problem with slow moving films ( growing up watching westerns acclimatised me ) but this was just ridiculous. I lost all interest in the film and got to the stage where I was clock watching instead of screen watching. The film had its moments of course but they were so few and far between that they lost all impact. Plus Andrew Garfield, I mean I like the chap but he was like a lost puppy in this.



June 25, 2017

The unsung heroes of cinema Part 14. Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa.

You recognise their faces but you aren't quite sure where from. You see them and go "HIM!! I see him in everything" and then you forget them. There's a fleeting recognition that disappears as soon as they die in, usually, violent ways. These are the actors that if, IF, you notice them, don't turn up in the opening credits of a film. In fact you'll have to do some pretty lengthy searching of the closing scrolling credits to find them


Cary-Hiroyuku Tagawa




When your film has to have an evil Japanese villain, this chap is the go-to guy. No doubt a lovely chap but he just has dodgy written all over him when he appears onscreen. 

He's been in Marvel films before it was cool. Starred in one of the very very few computer game to film adaptions that was actually any fun. Voiced a CGI character in the finest animated film of 2016. He's taken on Bruce Lee's son. He's eaten sushi off boobies. Played a damn dirty ape in an awful remake. Faced off against both Jake AND The Fatman. He's bombed Pearl Harbor. He's taken on Wesley Snipes. TWICE! He's worked alongside Bond and Mitch Buchanan. All that and he made his film debut in a Bernardo Bertolucci film. As a eunuch. That's how you start a career.




Check out his resume here

Greatest Hits

Licence To Kill. One of the japanese agents who try to kill Franz Sanchez. Naturally has a bloody demise. Be weird if he didnt tbh.

Rising Sun. Eddie Sakamura, chief suspect in the murder that starts the story and sleazy playboy extraordinaire.

Mortal Kombat. Shang Tsung. Bad bastard. Tournament host and main baddie. Dies in a gloriously nasty fashion fitting the franchise.

Showdown In Little Tokyo. The big bad of the film. And a great one he is too. A nasty piece of work that likes nothing better than separating people from vital parts of their bodies. Ends up skewered to a Catherine wheel in the middle of Little Tokyo by Dolph Lundgren. Naturally.

Kubo And The Two Strings. Hashi. A small part but he knocks it out of the park with his distinctive tones.


Previous parts

1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9  10  11  12  13

June 24, 2017

10 films worth watching on freeview TV this week



White Heat   Sat   24/6   TG4 @ 21.20

A criminal with a strange obsession escapes from jail and sets out to commit a big heist with the help of his old accomplices. One of the all time best gangster films right here. 68 years old and still packs a wicked punch courtesy of a strong storyline, great quotable hard boiled dialogue and a career best performance from James Cagney as the man with the plan. Even if you haven't seen this film you'll recognise lines and influences from it. Great stuff.

Barry Lyndon   Sat   24/6   RTE2 @ 23.55

The life and times of a young chancer in 18th century Ireland. who is forced him out of the country and has no choice but to join the British army. One of Stanley Kubrick's least talked about films but one of his most entertaining and human ones. Ryan O'Neal plays the lead, and ya his accent is ropey in places but he does a good job. A lovely looking film too. It's pace may be offputting to some but stick with it and you'll love it.

The Purge   Sat   24/6   CH4 @ 23.15

In the near future, for one night a year all crimes are legal, and people use this night to settle all their scores. Ethan Hawke and Lena Headey find themselves and their family under siege. A great original premise that will make you think about what you would do in this situation, convincing acting and some brutal action turn this into a very intriguing and watchable little thriller. 

Rio Bravo   Sun   25/6   ITV4 @ 12.35

A sheriff trying to defend his little town enlists an unlikely crew of people to help him in his job after he arrests the brother of a violent criminal. One of the all time quintessential westerns, this Howard Hawks directed movie is gorgeous to look at, it's great fun, some super action and sees John Wayne give a performance that shows just why he was so popular. Dean Martin is fine in support too and sings some lovely ditty's.

Eyes Of Laura Mars   Mon    26/6   Horror Channel @ 22.55

A fashion photographer develops psychic abilities that allow her to see through the eyes of a serial killer as he does he nefarious deeds. A bizarre film but one filled with some real suspense and one that gives us a superbly authentic view of New York in the 70's. Faye Dunaway is cracking in the lead and Tommy Lee Jones gives good support. Nice cast too with Brad Dourif and Raul Julia in tow.

The Ladykillers   Tues   27/6   Film4 @ 12.45

A motley crew of criminals pretend to be musicians so they can kill a little old lady and rob a bank. Things do not go to plan. Another classic from Ealing studios and one of the funniest English films ever made. This is a film that will make you laugh, proper big belly laughs. It's so much fun and with a killer cast. Alec Guinness in the lead is brilliant, and why wouldn't he be with top notch support from Peter Sellers and Herbert Lom.

Logan's Run   Wed   28/6   Syfy @ 21.00

Life in the future is paradise. No one has to work and you have everything you need. The one catch. You die when you reach the age of 30. One man decides to buck the system. Grim premise aside this is great fun to watch, dated as hell ( the clothes, the hair, the FX, it all screams 70's ) but it all adds to the fun of the film. Michael York and Jennifer Agutter are good value as the leads too. A highly entertaining bit of sci-fi,

Argo   Wed   28/6   RTE1 @ 21.35

A group of Americans find themselves trapped during the 1979 Iranian revolution and a government worker comes up with a very unorthodox way to rescue them. Ben Affleck's 3rd film as director is a thoroughly entertaining and surprisingly funny film despite the serious subject matter. Affleck is solid as the main star but Alan Arkin and John Goodman are brilliant and steal the film from under him.

Rear Window   Thurs   29/6   Film4 @ 13.45

A photographer with a broken leg and a lot of time to kill starts to notice suspicious goings on in the apartment block he lives in and overlooks. Alfred Hitchcock's thriller is an absolute cracker of a film. Funny, totally absorbing and littered with tension, lovely characters and great set-pieces. So influential too. James Stewart and Grace Kelly as the leads are an absolute joy to watch. This is a film everyone, young and old, will love.

Kill Bill Vol 1   Fri   30/6   W @ 21.00

A woman takes revenge on the crime syndicate that killer her husband on their wedding day and left her for dead. Quentin Tarantino's blackly comic action thriller is uproariously entertaining stuff. Packed with humour and violence that will make your jaw drop. It's so OTT though that you can't take any of it seriously. Uma Thurman is brilliant in the lead role, and carries it all well. Lucy Liu and Vivica A. Fox are good in nasty villain mode too.








June 23, 2017

Your scariest film moments.

I love the rush of watching an absolutely terrifying horror film. That feeling of creeping dread, when the hair on the back of your neck hits the roof, when you are holding onto the arms of your chair for dear life, when you flat out forget to breathe and startle the living jesus out of yourself.

Like comedy, horror is fierce subjective. What one person finds effective another person will find silly. Some of the stuff on this list is stuff the more precious horror fan will turn their nose up at. But its not about the quality of the film. It's just about the scariness, When I was younger I was a big fan of gory horror, the more red stuff the better. But in the last decade or so I've found myself preferring the more psychological stuff, the stuff that gets under your skin and turns up in your dreams.

Some of the films that have terrified me over the years and still do.

Night Of The Living Dead

The first of George A. Romero's zombie films. A film I'd read about for years before I saw it and thankfully all I knew about it didn't diminish it's impact. It opens with a scene of a brother and sister visiting their mother's grave in a remote countryside graveyard. It's daytime. 




As they talk an old man sways around in the background and slowly gets closer and closer and closer and then...... It sounds silly but there's just something so creepy and unsettling about it. It's the day time. Day time isn't meant to be scary. Unsettling.



The Horror Of Dracula 

The first of the Hammer horror Dracula productions and still the best. A sumptuous looking film, dark, intense, erotic, and downright terrifying in places. I was way too young when I saw this the first time. Back when Hammer films were regularly shown on tv, and I had a habit of sneaking downstairs to watch them. 




There's one scene in it that frightened the life out of me. And I don't even think it was supposed to. It was just Dracula standing on a stairs looking down at a victim. There was just something about it that has stayed with me forever. I can't actually explain it. Masterful film-making.



Blood On Satan's Claw

A film I discovered on BBC2 very night one night after a tiring night shift. A 17th century English village is affected by the supernatural when a skull with one eye left in it is dug up in a field. 




The whole film has an oddly unsettling eerie feel to it but one scene of a chap cutting off his own hand in bed because he thought it belonged to a demon freaked me out. Sitting in a dark room, tired after work and watching that......janey. And it's mild compared to what came later in the film but that bit has always scared me.



The Conjuring

My most recent. Not a particularly scary or even special film in itself but how i saw it is what got to me. I'd heard it was a return to the haunted house type of horror which was badly needed after years of crappy nasty torture porn films like Saw and Hostel. I decided to go see it in the local omniplex. 




The place was quiet and i was delighted cos there was less chance of some gowl ruining the film for me. But it was a little too quiet and i ended up in the cavernous screen 2 all by myself. I was terrified all through the film. Terrified. Kept expecting some demonic hellbeast to tap me on the shoulder. A potent experience. 



The Exorcist 3

The original is imo one of the most powerful effectively horror films ever made but its the 2nd sequel that gave me one of my favourite all time jump scares. I won't describe it. Just watch it. Be patient.






Suspiria

Dario Argento's masterpiece in an assault on the senses. The colours. The sounds. The brutality. The slightly off centre shots and odd camera angles that create a sense of unease even when nothing is happening. The first murder scene is the one that stays with everyone who sees it. 




The garishly vicious in your face ( literally in one bit ) violence, the sound design, the cinematography, it just all combines to utterly disorientate you and frighten the life out of you. One of the very first dvds I bought and my first real introduction to the world of euro-horror. A baptism of fire!



The Devil Rides Out

A masterful adaption of the famous Dennis Wheatley story. First saw this on tv aged about 12 or so. The entire film has a seriously creepy  tone but one scene absolutely freaked me out and still pops up in my dreams 25 years later. It's a film about a group of people chasing down a satanist trying to conjure the devil. 




Our heroes led by Christopher Lee are subjected to a night of demonic attacks from scary glowy eye dudes, giant tarantulas and then the angel of death. I was honesty not worth tuppence during all this. Petrified but unable to look away



Salem's Lot

I vividly remember the first time I saw this. It was a saturday night and my parents were gone to bed. This was on ITV and i'd heard in school it was deadly. If you've seen it you'll remember how effective it is. It was a made for TV film so its pretty tame but made it for that with bucket loads of atmosfear ( yes I typed that, yes I'm a twat ).




 Everyone remembers the floaty vampire kids and the freaky rodent like head vampire but the scene that got me was a recently turned vampire sitting in a potential victims house just calmly talking, his eyes and fangs lightly glinting in the dark. Jesus I'm getting goosebumps just thinking of it.



Arachnophobia. I'm terrified of spiders so it was pretty idiotic to go and see this. Spoiler here for anyone who hasn't seen it but at the end of the film a family face a home invasion by 1000's of spiders. The father ends up in the basement facing off against the daddy spider. 




I was petrified. In a cold sweat, pinned to the chair. Somehow I managed to peel myself off the chair and bate it out of the cinema. And it took me 3 years to see the rest of the film. 3 years. Ridiculous.

Ok, your turn, what's the most scared you've ever been when watching a film?

June 22, 2017

Children's film's are harmless. Yes.....ok.

If i don't see it it didn't happen
Children's films are fluff. Harmless escapism. The type of thing you can throw on for the baba's to watch and you can get stuff done. No harm at all. 

But that's what silly people think. 

You might be ok if you throw on a modern day film, a cgi cartoon or a superhero film but take a chance and throw on a family film from the 70's or 80's and you risk breaking your lovely little precious's mind. It's good though. Well once the bad dreams stop.

I've listed some popular ones that have melted the heads of people i know. And bare (bear? I'm never sure) in mind these are films which with the exception of 2 are all at least 27 years old. How messed up does a scene in a children's film have to be to remain in a person's psyche for that long?!

The Never Ending Story. Atreyu and his horse Artax enter the swamp of sadness. The first slice of cinematic trauma for many a 30+ year old person right here as we watched the lovely white horse get sucked into the mud and it's owners heart break.

E.T.  Steven Spielberg lets us fall in love with E.T. the excellent, friendly cool beer loving alien and then slays us with the stark sight of his lifeless body in a creek. I know he comes back but goddamn the first time you see it it's like getting punched in the stomach. Still remember it vividly.

Turner And Hooch. What bastard thought children would appreciate that ending? Yes yes i know pets die but come on. Shooting poor Hooch. No. For shame film makers. For shame.

Raiders Of The Lost Ark. 
The Ark opening scene. I was 7. This scene broke me. The angelic face changing into a demonic visage. Nazi faces melting. Heads exploding. Dozens of soldiers impaled on beams of light. In a PG film. Like a snuff movie compared to the kids films of today.

Temple Of Doom. ( my brothers choice )The sacrifice scene. A mainstay of Christmas day TV for years. Kids full of dinner sitting down to watch a screaming boy get his heart torn out and then get slowly dropped into lava. Turkey and roastie scented tears ensued. That's the 3rd Spielberg film I've mentioned actually. Does he hate kids?

Home Alone. The bit with the tarantula being dropped on the blokes face. This killed me when i was 11 and still does TBH. Nightmare fuel seeing that hellbeast being lowered onto a screaming mans face. No. Kevin McAllister should have got his comeuppance.


Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Surely there's nothing horrible in this?? Wrong. Remember the scene where the little shoe gets executed by Judge Doom by being lowered into a steaming, bubbling vat of dip. Truly horrific. Actually chilling.

Gremlins. The kitchen massacre . Looking at it now through adult eyes it's brilliantly nasty stuff but 8 year old me was scarred by the screeching gremlin getting cooked in the microwave. YES I know it's not a film for kids but every child in the 80's saw it. And as for Phoebe Cates's Santa Claus anecdote.....


Watership Down. The most complained about U certificate film ever. The entire film is terrifying. Woundwort!! The cat!! Frith!! Fiver's vision!! The snare trap!!! The black rabbit of Inle!! Bright Eyes!!  A film that introduced kids to bloody death and the unfairness of life at way too young of an age. That said it is a magnificent movie that everyone should see.

The Plague Dogs.  2 dogs escape a centre for animal experimentation in the search for a better life. Things don't get better. This is the opening scene. Seriously. Oh and there's a part where a farmer accidentally blows his face off with a shotgun. Ya.




Return To Oz. Have ye seen this one recently. It is fucking mental. The original film was dark for it's time but it's like Peppa Pig compared to it's sequel. A kid's film made by disturbed people who I choose to believe wrote it on a diet of mescaline and LSD. A bleak, dark film and I haven't even mentioned Jack Pumpkinhead yet. Or the heads :(

2 modern children's films make the list too.

The Bridge To Terabithia A charming tale of a young boy and girl becoming friends and creating a fantasy empire where they can escape from everyday life. Great stuff until real life comes crashing down on them and hits you a jarring startling slap across the face. Watch it, it's excellent but jesus...

Toy Story 3. The vast majority of the film is laugh filled awesomeness but a scene near the end where all the toys are facing a fiery death is just stunning in it's scariness. When I saw it I genuinely thought "THIS IS IT, THIS IS GOING TO KILL ME, THE CLEANING CREW ARE GOING TO FIND MY BODY". And then when you think everything is fine the final scene comes along and kicks you in the adam's apple and you eyes fill up. Brilliant but brutal.

THE WORST THOUGH


Ok, bare with me. This is a stupid one but it traumatised the face off me as a young lad and I still hate it now. 

Superman 2.

The vast majority of the film is fun, entertaining fluff. But this bit hits hard.


Prick 
Superman aka Clark Kent falls in love with Lois Lane. Her likewise. But they can't be together as he is a superbeing ( the film doesn't explain this but I assume he'd shag her to death or something). Anyway. He gives up his superpowers for her. They go for a meal in a Metropolis diner. They encounter a pure rude bastard. Lois is insulted. Clark decides to defend her honour and gets the head beaten off him. Oh I hate it. So much. It's so hard to watch. It's so cringy and horrible. Clark sees his own blood for the first time in his life and experiences a big dose of pain, shame and regret. He gets payback later in the film but this scene has always stayed with me. And I have no idea why.

I'm not crying, you're crying. 

I feel sad now. That last bit has upset me. I'm away to the shop for a maxi twist and a bag of skips.

What seemingly harmless kids films traumatised you as a nipper?





June 21, 2017

The unsung heroes of Cinema part 13. C.C.H. Pounder.

You recognise their faces but you aren't quite sure where from. You see them and go "HER!! I see her in everything" and then you forget them. There's a fleeting recognition that disappears as soon as they disappear or die in, usually, violent ways. These are the actors that if, IF, you notice them, don't turn up in the opening credits of a film. In fact you'll have to do some pretty lengthy searching of the closing scrolling credits to find them

C.C.H. Pounder.


Do not fuck with Claudette Wyms
That's some name ain't it. Sounds like a McDonald's burger of the month. But it's not. It belongs to one of America's finest actresses. An actress that deserves all the awards and her own films, her own shows and all the recognition. All of it. She's that good. And yet thoroughly underused. An awful shame.


I'm blue abba de abba da
She's worked with Bob Fosse. Been shot by Arnie and melted!. Starred in the biggest grossing film of all time. Been set on fire by Nicholas Cage. Dealt with evil little people while being a nun. Took down the most corrupt cop in Los Angeles. Worked in Cook County General. Battled demons in run down motels. Starred in westerns. Worked with Robocop. Been in films written by Oscar Wilde. Worked alongside Crockett and Tubbs. She's done it all really. And had a really really unique name to top it all off. The C.C.H. stands for Carole Christine Hilaria btw. Check out her 38 year long resume here.


baby faced in Face/Off

Greatest Hits

Face/Off. Dr Hollis Miller. The brains behind the famous face swop of the film. Meets a fiery end courtesy of a insanely cackling Nicholas Cage.


End Of Days. Marge Francis. No nonsense NYPD cop and acolyte of the devil. Crosses Arnie. Dies badly. 

The Shield. Arguably the hero of the show. Claudette Wyms. A force of nature of a detective. Hard as nails, someone you did not mess with and with a moral code that was unbendable. A brilliant character.

Avatar. Mo'at. The spiritual leader of the Na'vi. Adds some badly needed gravitas and nuance to this film. Pity she's hidden under all that blue shite.


Previous parts

1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9  10  11  12

June 20, 2017

A perfect pairing of sound and vision part 1. A short piece.

The perfect piece of music can turn a film scene from great to sublime. 

Part 1 in a series i hope i can keep up.

Some huge spoilers if you haven't seen the film before.




The last 10 minutes of The Last Of The Mohicans. Quite possibly the best piece of action I've ever seen. Exhilarating and heartbreaking in equal measure. Amazing stuff. Cinematic Nirvana. Sound and vision just working perfectly together. Michael Mann's masterpiece imho.

The music piece is called Promentory and was written by Trevor Jones and Randy Edelman.

P.S Do not under an circumstances take any notice of the rubbery rock at 5.36. But I probably shouldn't have mentioned that should I. Oops.

June 19, 2017

The Unsung Heroes Of Cinema Part 12. William Forysthe

You recognise their faces but you aren't quite sure where from. You see them and go "HIM!! I see him in everything" and then you forget them. There's a fleeting recognition that disappears as soon as they die in, usually, violent ways. These are the actors that if, IF, you notice them, don't turn up in the opening credits of a film. In fact you'll have to do some pretty lengthy searching of the closing scrolling credits to find them

William Forsythe.




The man who shot Bobby Lupo. He was Noodle's friend with the wonky eye. He's questioned Sean Connery. He's played Al Capone. He's taken on Raylan Givens. He's faced off against John and Poncherello. He's starred in some of the most underrated films of the 90's and you never hear his name mentioned ever. A great character actor. Usually called on to play a horrible bastard and looks like the kind of chap would take the eye from your head while giggling but sometimes, sometimes gets to play a nice guy. But the kind of nice guy that will kill you. For the greater good of course.



Bobby Lupo is about to get ventilated
Greatest Hits

Once Upon A Time In America. Cockeye, lifelong friend of Noodles ( Robert De Niro). A big time bootlegger during the prohibition. Things don't end well for him.

Out For Justice. Plays Richie Madano. Crackhead villian extraordinaire. Decides to go on a suicidal drug fueled rampage around Brooklyn before Steven Seagal does enough damage to him with kitchen implements to kill him a dozen times. A joy to behold.

The Rock. FBI agent Paxton. A tough customer. Not a man to be trifled with.has a soft spot for grizzled Scottish folk. Turns into a decent individual near the end.

Boardwalk Empire. Manny Horvitz. The head of the Jewish mob in Philadelphia. Hardy bastard. Handy with a meat cleaver.

Previous parts


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