June 30, 2020

Best of 2020 so far

2020 won't be remembered as a good year for cinema but we still managed to get some stunners in before the world shut down for the Spring.

Here's my top 10 so far of films that have been released this year. In no particular order.

A Beautiful Day In The Neighbourhood 

A film about the most important lesson you'll ever learn. Be kind & don't be a prick. Tom Hanks is amazing.


Becky 

A teenage girl faces off with neo nazis and violently destroys them. And one of them is played by Paul Blart Mall Cop. Highly and disgustingly entertaining.


Calm With Horses 

Dark and brooding Irish cinema at it's best. Leading man Cosmo Jarvis will blow away in this seaside set crime thriller.


The Invisible Man 

A proper horror reboot. Terrifying and very very topical. Elisabeth Moss nails both terror and inner strength.


Color Out Of Space 

Something weird lands in a garden. It's from space. Everything goes purple. The Thing is homaged. Nicholas Cage gets weirder than ever.


Parasite 

A film that truly deserved best picture. Brilliant. If you haven't seen it watch it without reading anything about it. Ignore film twitter.


Queen & Slim 

A date goes wrong. So so wrong. 2020 America in a nutshell. A superb movie that for some reason a lot of people fobbed off. Baffling.


Dating Amber 

A lovely Irish watch about a gay boy and a gay girl and their plan to avoid school bullying. Lola Petticrew is going to be a star someday.


VFW 

War veterans in a dive bar take on a drug fuelled gang. Its Assault On Precinct 13 meets Cocoon and driven by gloriously gory practical effects.


Waves 

A family deal with growing up and the aftermath of a tragedy. Tender, horrible, beautiful with a superb showing from Kelvin Harrison Jr.


THE WORST OF 2020

Coffee & Kareem 

A film from Netflix that's so bad you'll want to cancel your subscription, go upstairs, scrubs yourself with dettol and a brillo pad and then cry slide down the wall as you try to internalise your shame for having sat through it. This piece of shit doesn't deserve a picture.

June 28, 2020

Home

Jaysus it's good to be home. Me, the brother, my parents, back together after that cunt of a virus stole a quarter of a year from us. I'm full of shteak and shpuds and I'm about to climb into my bed and watch a film.

*Happy sigh*


June 27, 2020

Eurovision Song Contest : The Story Of Fire Saga


24 years ago Father Ted Crilly and Father Dougal Maguire won a staged vote and got to represent Ireland in the Eurovision song contest. A vote that was staged in the hopes they would lose and RTE wouldn't have the foot the bill for yet another song contest they could ill afford. 24 years later Eurovision Song Contest : The Story Of Fire Saga takes the exact same premise and runs it into the ground in a deeply frustrating watch that could have been fun if it's makers hadn't been intent on dragging the life out of every single scene. Oh, and Will Ferrell.....it's time to change up or feck off mate because you haven't been funny in years.

Húsavík, 1974. Two young children hear Abba sing Waterloo at the Eurovision song contest and their destiny is set in motion. 46 years later a tragic accident sends them to Edinburgh to compete in the 2020 contest. Lars Erickssong (Will Ferrell) & Sigrit Ericksdóttir (Rachel McAdams) are Fire Saga and the world is about to experience their magic. The only downside is their stageshow is prone to disaster and the country they are representing has absolutely no faith in them.


Consider the title of this film. Eurovision Song Contest : The Story Of Fire Saga. Way too long, obvious and drawn out. Just like the movie itself. Co-writer Ferrell packs the film with incident, car chases, Americans, a pointless return to Iceland, supernatural stabbings (yes) and a subplot about Sigrit's dalliance with Russian eurovision superstar Alexander Lemtov  (Dan Stevens, hilarious but in a part that could be lifted cleanly from the film without changing the ending whatsoever) and none of it's needed at all. A film like this is selling itself as light, fluffy fun and it ends up weighed down by all of it's extras. The scenes at the 90 minute mark feel like a climax and it's dismaying to find out there's 30 more minutes ahead.

It could have worked. The Eurovision itself is ripe for a pisstake and when the film has it's sights on the contest there's fun to be had. It nails the cheesy sincerity and the bombosity perfectly. A cameo leaden bit of karaoke, dismissive eurotrash dance choreographers ("Are your legs sick? Are your feet sad?), some original songs that seriously sound like the real thing and the aforementioned Dan Stevens giving it welly as a outrageously flamboyant Russian singer. All this hits the spot but then along comes Ferrell and the man-baby hissy fit schtick he's been recycling for the last 15 years and any bit of goodwill created just dissipates. It's time for him to move on to the next stage of his career. We can all see it, why can't he? Pushing things over in a rage just doesn't cut it anymore.


McAdam's deserves better than this. She has the comic timing, the range, she looks the part, her final performance is pretty affecting but Ferrell ruins all her good work. It's starting to sound petty but literally anyone else could have done a better job here. Dan Stevens as Lars and Ferrell as Lemtov would have been a genius decision and with him in the lead we could more easily forgive the many weaker moments in the film. Oh well. At least we get some nice Sigur Ros tunes. Any film set in Iceland has to at least have that.

Eurovision Song Contest : The Story Of Fire Saga is on Netflix now. Watch it when you can finally have your friends over so ye can turn it on, get drunk and leave it playing in the background.

16 films on TV this week carefully chosen to please even the pickiest person


Tremors   Sat   27/6   ITV4 @ 22.00

Giant underground worms attack a small desert town and two very reluctant handymen called Earl and Val lead the townsfolk as they fight back. This is so so much better than it sounds. An affectionate throwback to 1950's creature features that's hilarious, satisfyingly gooey and very inventive. Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward are the lead pair and have a whale of a time doing it. The ropey special effects all add to the charm. A perfect beer and tayto's film.

Dark City   Sun   28/6   TCM @ 01.05

John has woken up in a place he doesn't recognise, his memories have vanished and he's being pursued for a crime he didn't commit. He must now enter a very strange world to solve his problems. A dark, scary, inventive and (at the time) startlingly original slice of sci-fi that will keep you glued to the screen. Rufus Sewell, Kiefer Sutherland, Jennifer Connelly and William Hurt all put in a good shift.

This Beautiful Fantastic   Sun   28/6   BBC2 @ 15.00

Now for a nice sunday afternoon movie. Bella's a wannabe writer struggling to finish her book for children. Her OCD and an awkward rental condition are making things awkward though. If you've seen the French film Amelie you might sense a similar vibe here but since when is that a bad thing. A light, enjoyable slice of whimsy. Jessica Findlay Brown, Tom Wilkinson and Ireland's own Andrew Scott all do well here.

The Mountain Between Us   Sun   28/6   CH4 @ 21.00

A man and a woman in a rush hire a private plane that crashes smack bang in the middle of the Rocky mountains when the pilot has an ill timed stroke. No one knows where they are and they haven't a clue what to do. This is as melodramatic as movies get but there's a lot of joy in watching Kate Winslet and Idris Elba battling against everything mother nature can throw at them. Plus the scenery is absolutely magnificent.

28 Days Later   Mon   29/6   TG4 @ 21.30

A man wakes up from a coma only to discover his hospital is deserted and London outside is quiet. A bit too quiet. Danny Boyle's 2002 horror film is the real deal. A genuinely unnerving and terrifying experience and that will get under your skin and live in your head when your lights go out at night. Cillian Murphy is an ace lead and Naomie Harris and Brendan Gleeson are both powerful as back up. Not for the squeamish. Seriously

Mad Max   Mon   29/6   ITV @ 22.00

Australia. The future. A lawless place. Policeman Max Rockatansky finds this out the hard way when tragedy strikes on a desolate roadside. So he becomes wrath. The first in the infamous series is a low key affair compared to later entries but there's a gritty charm here, along with a darkly comic sense of humour. A look at what Mel Gibson could do back before he become one of Hollywood's biggest dickheads.

Shame   Mon   29/6   Film4 @ 23.40

Brandon loves the ride more than most. His carefully curated life revolves around it. Everything he does is geared towards it. Until one day his sister turns up and rightly throws his life out of whack. Steve McQueen's psychological drama stirred up controversy with its frank depiction of sex addiction but it's a dark, compelling and masterfully acted film too. Michael Fassbender literally bares his soul and Carey Mulligan works wonders.

Dunkirk   Wed   1/7   RTE1 @ 21.35

Hitler has England beaten back to the coast of France. With their backs to the water there's nothing to do but wait to be rescued. Will the cavalry arrive on time? Christopher Nolan's 2017 war film is a bit of a stunner, a tale both epic and intimate about terrified young men and the people coming to save their skins. Cillian Murphy, Barry Keoghan, Mark Rylance and Harry Styles amongst many others all play their parts well.

Hellboy 2 : The Golden Army   Wed   1/7   Comedy Central @ 22.45

When a pact between humanity and mythical creatures is broken, chaos threatens to reign and it's up to Hellboy and his buddies to sort things out. You don't have to have seen the first film to enjoy this lovingly crafted bit of escapism. Guillermo Del Toro's comic book film so full of imagination and action that you just won't want it to finish. Ron Perlman as Hellboy rocks and Selma Blair, John Hurt & Doug Jones give superb backup.

Black Mother   Thur   2/7   Film4 @ 01.30

Jamaica, a country rich in culture and chock full of contradiction. As beautiful in places as it is ugly in others. This documentary about the country and it's people is a brilliant watch and one that thankfully takes a sweeping look at all the inhabitants within, from sex workers to prayer men, adults and kids alike are photographed in close up and we get a look at who makes the place tick. A unique and enthralling watch.

Red State   Thur   2/7   The Horror Channel @ 02.35

Three young eejits fall afoul of a fundamentalist cult of rednecks when they get tricked by an online invitation teasing naughtiness. Kevin Smith's first foray into thriller territory doesn't have the courage of it's convictions at the end but the journey is up to that point is a darkly humorous one laced with some surprisingly gritty edges. John Goodman, Melissa Leo & especially genre fave Michael Parks all have a good time in a film that definitely doesn't sit on the political fence.

Touching The Void   Thur   2/7   CH4 @ 22.00

Two young climbers, Simon and Joe are in Peru to scale a mountain. On the way down Joe breaks his leg and Simon is forced by Joe to leave him lest he die himself. Joe has no intention of going out easy though. Based on an amazing true story this docu-drama is gruelling throughout but the strength of human spirit on display here will leave you buzzing come the end. Wrap up warm when you watch this one.

Green Room   Fri   3/7   Film4 @ 01.35

A young punk band's night descends into chaos when they unwittingly play a gig at a neo-nazi club and stumble upon the aftermath of a crime. The late and much missed Anton Yelchin headlines this blisteringly violent thriller from director Jeremy Saulnier. It's tough going but stick with it. Blackly funny, excruciatingly brutal and a frightening insight into a scary American subculture. There's great backup from Patrick Stewart and Imogen Poots too.

Senna   Fri   3/7   TG4 @ 22.15

A stunner of a documentary about the life and death in 1994 of the famous Formula One driver Ayrton Senna. Even if like me you couldn't give a flying fig about the sport you'll still find yourself gripped by this absorbing, dramatic and tense story. It paints a gripping portrait of a driven charismatic chap and even though you know how it will end you'll still find yourself hoping for a different outcome.

3.10 To Yuma   Fri   3/7   BBC1 @ 22.45

Infamous outlaw Ben Wade has been captured and is to be taken to Yuma by train to be hanged. Rancher Dan Evans needs money so takes a job escorting Ben to his death. Ben is a cute hoor though. This 2007 remake of the classic western of the same name is more bombastic and over the top than the original but a trio of fine performances from Christian Bale, Russell Crowe and Ben Foster save the day.

Borg Vs McEnroe   Fri   3/7   BBC2 @ 23.20

The year is 1980. The venue is Wimbledon. Bjorn Borg is king of the tennis world. 1980 could be his 5th consecutive victory. But a fiery American named John McEnroe is making waves. It's a little cheesy but this is an entertaining look at a sporting rivalry that captured the imagination of the world, a film that you'll have fun with even if you don't like the sport its about. Sverrir Gudnason and Shia LaBeouf both do mighty work in the lead roles.

If you've found this any good you might give it an aul retweet. Sound.




June 25, 2020

Hammer


Two men search a cornfield for a body. The man who left it there is panicked, confused, totally disorientated. He's not sure where he is. A dog barks. Could it have picked up a scent? They follow the sound. It's no body though. It's a snake. A snake eating it's own tail. Ouroboros. Eternity, the circle of life, continuity. It's one hell of a blunt metaphor in the middle of a film about the cyclical nature of violence.

Chris Davis (Mark O'Brien) has fucked up big time. A double cross has gone sideways and now he's on the run, his girlfriend has a bullet in her and his ex partner Adams is out for his hide. The only person he has left to turn to is his father Stephen (Will Patton). Chris's lifestyle has estranged them but that special father/son bond is a tough one to break.




Hammer is one of the 100's of indie thrillers that pop up every year on streaming platforms. Usually dull, always terribly acted by a cast you've never heard of. These are the films you'll never see in the cinema, films you'll skip by on Netflix and not give a second glance at. This one is worth a shot though. It's short, brutish and not terribly original but the central pairing of Will Patton and Mark O'Brien and the believable chemistry created between them gives this movie a zing you wouldn't expect.


Patton has always been a reliable presence onscreen, rarely carrying a movie but always good in support. Here we get to see what he can really do as a father willing to do anything for his son and it's the kind of work that would make you wish Hollywood had given him a proper chance as a leading man. He's the kind of actor, and he does it well here, who can change your opinion on something with one well delivered word. But he's at his best here when he doesn't have to talk, one disappointed look at his son giving us a wealth of history in seconds.


O'Brien as Chris nails his part too. That sweaty desperation of a person who knows his days are numbered, his terror palpable, run down and scruffy but far more capable than people seem to think. A nerve-wracking pawn shop scene stands out, marking him as one to watch in the future. Hammer keeps up this level of tension throughout it's 82 minute running time and shows up larger scale productions for the pad fests they tend to be. It's a story of violence begeting violence and how it effects everyone and everything it touches and that's it, no subplots or extraneous fluff. 

A lean and economic cautionary tale from director Christian Sparkes. One that's well worth your while.



June 24, 2020

You Should Have Left


It's never good when the scariest part of a film happens right at the beginning. A young girl can't sleep so she goes for a wander in her house. The usual suspects of modern horror all pop up, loud sudden noises, shadows, your common or garden jump scare stuff but because it's a child we're seeing, things feel that bit more amped up. She gets back into bed and then realises there's something scary in the room with her. Something oddly familiar and unsettling and unsurprisingly she's struck dumb with fear. Then she's grabbed by the throat and hoisted into the air and sadly nothing else compares after that.

If you've seen The Shining the initial set up of You Should Have Left might seen familiar. A husband, wife and child alone in a weird place in the middle of nowhere. Things are off, their abode is confusingly laid out and easy to get lost in, being full of nooks and crannies and soon enough the husband is on the verge of snapping. With this set up and Kevin Bacon & Amanda Seyfried you might be expecting something special and as you can see from the first paragraph you aren't going to get it.

Theo (Kevin Bacon, one of the few good things about the film) and Susanna (Amanda Seyfried, totally wasted) need to get away from it all. He's a jealous man and her job as an actress isn't helping matters. A tragedy in Theo's past has him plagued with remorse and a holiday with his family, his journal and some meditation seems just the ticket. They decamp to a rented house in the middle of the Welsh countryside with their daughter Ella (Avery Essex) and things are looking up. Until suddenly they aren't.


Guilt. It's a bastard of an emotion. One that can pop up and paralyse you whenever and wherever. Theo's plagued with it and it's the driving force behind this film. It's a story that starts well enough, painting the couple and their relationship in broad strokes while moving along snappily. Then you get a hint of Theo's history and suddenly the film gets predictable. Psychological thriller straight ahead! But then it goes askew, things pop up and disappear courtesy of a kinda sorta sketched out left turn that feels exceedingly halfhearted. It feels like writer/director Koepp wanted to avoid the usual 'IT WAS ALL IN HIS HEAD' ending but didn't have the guts to fully commit and as such it's 90 minutes that will leave you feeling pretty deflated come the ending.

You Should Have Left is available to stream now. It will fill 90 minutes but that's about it.

June 22, 2020

Comfort viewing


Its comfort viewing time. Well it was comfort viewing time a month ago when I ordered this but fuck it, it finally arrived today. The best western of the 21st century. Ignore the ropey artwork, it's a masterpiece. A slowburn watch that builds to one of the best gunfights ever filmed. The story of 4 free grazers (herders without land who feed their cattle on other people's lands) who wander into the wrong territory and piss off the cattle rancher who owns it. Yip, it's an archetypal western story but it's just so lovingly done. It's great watching a western directed by someone who loves them and Kevin Costner loves them. Like the best of them it takes it's time, lets us spend a while with the characters so we can see what make them tick. Then it throws a metaphorical bomb into the mix and we see how they deal with it. It's been 17 years since it was released and I'd love to see Costner directed one again. He's kinda good at it.

I know it seems like an odd comfort watch but sometimes you just want something old fashioned and excellent.

Another unsung hero of Film & TV - Michael Berryman


If you don't recognise this chap you've never seen a film. You've lived under a rock all your life. Michael Berryman was born with hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia, a condition that gives people with it very distinctive facial features, lack of hair and teeth and the inability to perspire. Some may find it distasteful to use a person with real life physical issues in movies but for Michael Berryman has used it to his advantage, becoming one of the busiest and most well loved genre actors around. This fella's been onscreen a long time and he's turned up in some seriously famous flicks.


He's been under the thumb of Nurse Ratched. Been beaten up by The Fall Guy. Played the Devil in Highway To Heaven. Been both a Starfleet officer and an enemy of Starfleet. Rocked out with  Mötley Crüe and had his life saved by Leslie Nielsen. He's terrified all American families in the desert and dismembered American journalists in the jungle. He's turned up in horror movies about Ed Gein and voiced characters in Scooby Doo cartoons. Become a muse of Rob Zombie's and Wes Craven's, starred in godawful Syfy shows and faced off with Mulder and Scully. He's acted opposite pornstars and made an appearance in the TV version of Honey I Shrunk The Kids. He's even turned up in Alf! He's had a brilliant 45 year career and judging by his upcoming schedule he'll be around for a while longer. Check out his eclectic career here.

Greatest Hits

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. He's mosstly in the background in this but there's not many actors who can say their debut movie was one of the most famous films ever made.

The Hills Have Eyes. Pluto. A terrifyingly malevolent creation. The film that made him famous. Gets an iconic death.

Cut & Run. Quecho. The jungle assassin. His appearance on the VHS cover of this gave a generation of kids in the 80's nightmares.


The X-Files. Owen Lee Jarvis. A literal Guardian Angel who causes Scully to question her religious beliefs. Michael's own favourite role.

Previous Heroes

Mike Starr
M.C. Gainey
Mare Winningham
Dale Dickey
Vondie Curtis-Hall
Harris Yulin
Pepe Serna
Udo Kier
Fairuza Balk
Ernie Hudson
Lin Shaye
James Remar
Cloris Leachman
James Hong
David Strathairn
Frankie Faison
Conchata Ferrell
Dick Miller
Veronica Cartwright
Edie McClurg
Barry Shabaka Henley           
Raymond Cruz                        
Reg E.Cathey                          
Elizabeth McGovern               
John Amos                              
Bruce Greenwood                  
Mary McDonnell                     
Gerald McSorley                       
John Rothman                        
Margo Martindale                   
Kurtwood Smith                     
Paula Malcolmson                 
Luis Guzman                          
David Morse                           
Linda Hunt                              
Keith David                             
Zeljko Ivanek
Fiona Shaw
Xander Berkeley
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
C.C.H Pounder
William Forsythe
Beth Grant
Sven-Ole Thorsen
Regina King
Ric Young
Mark Rolston
Illeana Douglas
Jeanette Goldstein
Al Leong
Allan Graf
Bill Nunn
Thomas Rosales Jr



June 20, 2020

16 movies on TV picked just for you


I Am Not Your Negro   Sat   20/6   BBC2 @ 21.00

 A documentary about the history of racism in the United States and what it means to be born Black in a country that hates you. It's tough going and contains some quite upsetting archival footage but it's a very necessary watch because there's still such a way to go over there in terms of race relations. Narrator Samuel. L. Jackson conveys writer James Baldwin's words superbly. The most important thing you'll watch this week.

Film Stars Don't Die In Liverpool   Sat   20/6   RTE1 @ 21.40

In the twilight of her career an American actress called Gloria Grahame comes to London to act onstage. Here she falls for a much younger man and their relationship soothes what comes next. Annette Bening is stunning in this look at aging and the agonies of loneliness. It's an upsetting real life story but the palpable chemistry between Bening and Jamie Bell as her young beau eases the pain.

Garage   Sat   20/6   RTE1 @ 23.40

Josie lives a slow and solitary life in a small village in Offaly. One day a chance of friendship rears it's head but it doesn't take long for things to go sideways. Pat Shortt is a revelation in Lenny Abrahamson's quietly devastating tale of rural isolation. It sounds grim but it's a painfully real film that deserves to be seen. Anne-Marie Duff in support plays one of Josie's few friends and offers some respite from the darkness.

The Devil Rides Out   Sun   21/6   The Horror Channel @ 02.35

In 1929 a nobleman finds himself in the fight of his life as he strives to defend himself and his friends from a gang of satanists and the demonic onslaught they conjure forth. Christopher Lee excels in the lead role in this genuinely unsettling, atmospheric and beautifully shot film adapted by Hammer productions from the famous book by Dennis Wheatley. The effects might be aged but the scares are still effective as hell.

Tomb Raider   Sun   21/6   ITV @ 19.50

Lara Croft, a young woman without any real purpose in life after the disappearance of her father, finds a clue to his whereabouts and sets off to get him back. This 2018 take on the famous video game franchise is a surprisingly faithful adaption, especially during its stealthier moments. Annoyingly, because it's on early, ITV will probably snip it's grittier moments out. Alicia Vikander is a decent Lara and Walton Goggins makes for a nasty bad guy.

Dog Day Afternoon   Sun   21/6   TCM @ 21.00

On a blisteringly hot day in Brooklyn a man called Sonny holds up a bank with the intention of using the money for his partner's gender re-assignment surgery. His actions turn him into a bit of a star. Sidney Lumet's 1975 drama is still a vital watch about a post war America grasping for any bit of optimism it could get. Al Pacino is an amazing lead and John Cazale's showing as his robber pal Sal is brilliantly tragic.

Leviathan   Mon   22/6   BBC2 @ 01.00

Russian art movie time. No, come back. Kolya, a man living in a coastal town is about to lose his house and his land due to shady deals involving the town's mayor Vadim. Everything goes downhill for him from here. A dark, grim indictment of Russia, it's social issues and it's hypocrisy when it comes to religion. Aleksei Serebryakov is a magnificent lead. You won't feel good after this but you'll be glad you watched it.

Call Me By Your Name   Mon   22/6   Film4 @ 21.00

Elio, a teenager lives a carefree life in the early 80's Italy. Until he meets Oliver, an American man hired to work with his father and his life gets rather complicated when he starts to feel attracted to him. Lead Timothée Chalamet is massively overrated but this film isn't. It's a powerful look at the pain and angst and discovery of your formative years. Armie Hammer and Michael Stuhlbarg do excellent work

The Program   Mon   22/6   TG4 @ 21.30

An Irish journalist digs into the background and training regime of famous cyclist Lance Armstrong and what he finds shakes the sporting world to it's core. You know how this one ends but there's plenty here that will surprise you while Armstrong's arrogance will enrage you. Chris O'Dowd does well in a rare dramatic role as David Walsh and Ben Foster is uncanny as sport's most infamous drugs cheat.

Carol   Tues   23/6   Film4 @ 23.15

In 1950's New York, two women of very different social status meet and fall in love. But the social mores of the day are a major barrier to their happiness. A magnificent film that fully deserves the critical acclaim it received. It's a compelling and heartbreaking watch that contains two sublime performances from Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara. Kyle Chandler as always adds a touch of class too.

On Chesil Beach   Wed   24/6   BBC2 @ 21.00

A young couple get married in 1962 and because of a lack of knowledge with all matters sexual, find their lives irreparably changed after a disastrous wedding night. Set in a time before such things were talked about openly this is a frustratingly sad look at the damage a lack of communication can do. It's not perfect and the final third feels quite episodic but an immense turn from Saoirse Ronan will keep you watching.

A Fantastic Woman   Thur   25/6   Film4 @ 01.30

A transgender woman called Marina living in Santiago, Chile has her life flipped upside down when her older boyfriend passes away suddenly. Sebastián Lelio's 2017 drama is a stunner. A subtle, thoughtful and flawlessly acted look at a life in freefall caused by problems cis folk wouldn't even consider an issue. Danielle Vega as Marina puts in a barnstormer of a performance. This one is well worth staying awake for.

The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre   Thur   25/6   TCM @ 13.30

Three dirt poor American immigrants band together in Mexico to find a buried treasure but problems inside and outside their little group cause major trouble for them.A true classic. This type of film where you'll recognise the story and dialogue even if you haven't seen it because it's been homaged so much. Humphrey Bogart and Walter Huston are just deadly in a masterpiece directed by Walter's son John.

The Lady In The Van   Fri   26/6   BBC1 @ 22.45

A homeless elderly woman moves into van outside a man's house. At first they hate each other but a bond slowly but surely develops over the years. A gentle bit of comedy bolstered by a great performance from the always reliable Maggie Smith. She's perfect at playing a cranky old wagon with plenty of hidden depths. Alex Jennings does well as Alan Bennett on who's life this story is based.

Hang Em' High   Fri   26/6   TG4 @ 22.10

Jed Cooper is accused of rustling and hung without trial. But Jed is played by Clint Eastwood and of course he survives the ordeal. He takes a job in law enforcement and set out for revenge on the sons of bitches who wronged him. Clint's first big American western after his time in Europe is a fun one that feels more John Wayne than Sergio Leone. Pat Hingle and numerous familiar genre faces add to the enjoyment.

The International   Fri   26/6   RTE1 @ 23.10

An interpol agent and a district attorney team up to bring down a bank involved in dodgy dealings and find their lives are in severe danger. A twisty- turny thriller that feels like a grown up version of a Bond film. This was mostly ignored on release and its a pity. Clive Owen & Naomi Watts add solid heft in the lead roles and it contains a quite spectacular action scene in a well known NYC landmark that would please anyone.












June 19, 2020

7500


7500. Pilot code for a hijacking. We've seen loads of these onscreen over the years and usually there's someone like Chuck Norris, Liam Neeson or Harrison Ford on-hand to deal with the bad guys and save the day. Even Dirty Harry Callaghan polished off a team of hijackers and saved the day once. It's a nightmare scenario. Trapped in a tube, 5 miles up, going at 600 miles per hour with someone pointing something pointy and bloodied at you. A stressful enough situation for the passengers but what about the pilots? These movies have always treated the pilots as expendable, wiped out in the opening minutes of the attack. But what if the pilots survived? What then?

Tobias Ellis (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is on his way from Berlin to Paris. An experienced pilot with 10 years behind him, this is just another day on the job. His girlfriend Gökce (Aylin Tezel) is onboard as an air hostess but at work they like to keep things professional. Tobias's co-pilot is Michael (Carlo Kitzlinger), an older pilot who's getting sick of his job. It's their first night working together and it should be plain (plane ahaha sorry) sailing, until a group of men armed with broken glass bottles storm the cockpit and seriously injure the elder cockpit inhabitant.


7500 is an assured debut from director Patrick Vollrath. Some CCTV footage at the start aside the film stays in the cockpit from the moment Tobias enters until the credits roll and it makes for a desperately claustophobic watch. Almost unbearably so at times. This is no frills B-movie stuff but that doesn't make it any less worthy of a watch because it had me gnawing on my hand for the majority of its running time. It feels like a movie Hitchcock would make if he was around now. In one location, in real time, about an ordinary bloke in the wrong place at the wrong time, the hijacker's demands never known, a mere macguffin to get the movie rolling. With everything extraneous pushed to one side we can just concentrate on the story of one professional dealing with a situation in the best way he knows how.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt ain't the first person you'd imagine in a movie like this but he does well as a man reacting realistically to a situation he's been trained to deal with all his working life. You might be roaring at him to do what you think is right but fair play to him and the story, he never makes the easy decision and suffers mightily as a result and we get a movie and an ending that feels that bit more authentic than usual. There's a couple of moments that might stretch credulity but there's very little here that feels Hollywood. Not surprisingly really seeing as it's a co-production between Germany, Austrian and American studios. Gritty euro-realism is so 2020 don't you know.


Apart from Tobias the rest of the cast is thinly sketched out. Gökce feels like she's onboard to give Tobias a personal stake in proceedings and one hijacker notwithstanding the rest might as well be wearing masks. The days of the Islamist hijacker feel like they should be over at this stage and its something that knocks some of the sheen off a well made thriller. An effort to humanise one of them, the young and frightened Vedat (Omid Memar in a believable turn), at least separates this from earlier, cringier takes on an hoary old trope.

One rather large issue aside 7500 is a solid, well acted thriller and a committed turn from JGL lifts it above most of the tosh that's debuted online in the last couple of months. If you're looking for 90 minutes of anxiety inducing viewing you'llenjoy this. You might rethink that foreign holiday you're planning though.

7500 is streaming on Amazon prime right now.

June 18, 2020

30 Day Film Challenge. Day 30


Out Of Sight. Steven Soderbergh's romantic crime thriller from 1998. The story of Jack Foley and Karen Cisco. An escaped convict and the US Marshall he bumps into on his escape. He's a charmer and they fall for each other big time. George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez are amazing in this and the chemistry between them just lights the film up. You want them to end the film together but it looks unlikely when Clooney's recaptured and jailed. Then just as the film is over he gets a glimmer of hope. I won't ruin it if you haven't seen it but it's a perfect ending. Not sad, not happy but so perfectly optimistic. One of the best films of the 90's and one of the best final scenes ever. Sublime.

The saga is over


It's finally all over. I finally have all of them on the shelf. Bought this one solely to fill a gap and now I'm afraid to watch it again because I've a feeling I'm going to hate it this time around. A rush of excitement and nostalgia helped in the cinema and in the days after but now it's myriad flaws are going to be glaring.

Oh I'm dreading it.

I love my little first world problems.

June 17, 2020

30 Day Film Challenge. Day 29


Before Sunrise. Walks. Smiles. Giddiness. That scene in the music booth. 101 minutes of absolute perfection. If you've seen it you'll know what I mean. If you haven't seen it....well you're in for a treat.

June 16, 2020

Infamous


Gun Crazy. Breathless. Bonnie & Clyde. The Getaway. Badlands. The Sugarland Express. Wild At Heart. True Romance. Natural Born Killers. Love And A .45. Sightseers. Queen & Slim. Lovers on the run movies have been a cinematic staple for decades. The films listed above are a mere tip of the iceberg. They've always been controversial, courting claims of glamorisation of violence and crime. That's one claim this film can't deny. Because it's one of it's main points.

Social media, love it or hate it, one thing it's done is turn us into attention seeking eejits. We post stuff hoping people will look at it so we can get that sweet sweet dopamine hit from likes and retweets. Arielle (Bella Thorne), a teen from Florida lives her life by that credo. She's an asshole, a bully, she takes what she wants and doesn't care about how it affects others. She just wants to get out of her Florida town and be famous. When she hooks up with Dean (Jake Manley) and the two accidentally kill his father she gets her chance. Heading towards California they go on a crime spree that's all filmed and posted online. She gets her fame wish soon enough but that desensitized internet audience soon tires of their robberies and demands something more extreme. Something she's more than willing to give.


This could have been good. It's a well shot movie that makes knowing visual nods to Terrence Malick and Arthur Penn's previous masterpieces and it takes a scenario that I'm amazed hasn't happened yet and uses it to shine a light on our glorification of morons and our dependence on that little handheld rectangle that's taken over our lives. Sadly it does it in such a badly acted fashion that it's hard to take any of it seriously. The main duo of Bella Thorne and Jake Manley are bad. Really bad. They can't even swear convincingly. His first appearance is a 3rd rate Martin Sheen rip off and she'll make you wish for the likes of Sissy Spacek everytime she squawks. He underplays his part to the point where you could nearly lift him out of the film and nothing would change and she....well...if the film hadn't started at the ending you'd be able to spend your time wondering when she's get shot. They're awful, they're the reason you haven't heard of this film and probably never will.

And it's annoying because there's salient points here about the cheapness of modern day fame. How instant access to everything deadens us to the point that we're only happy when we're thrilled by something. How we're willing to make heroes of anyone for doing anything. It might seem far fetched but look how far we've fallen in the last few years. Celebs are celebs for no reason. People get famous and become millionaires because they post artfully composed pictures on instagram. The film nails that point but at the same time comes too close to glamorising that lifestyle. The violence is shown in slo-mo and it's exciting and aesthetically pleasing especially at the climax. It needed to be blunt and ugly as a counterpoint to Arielle's increasing fame and it all makes for a confusing message and then the film's final shot comes along and muddies the water even more. Is the film judging us or her? It's too little too late.


Infamous is streaming online now. It's really not worth your time. Watch Ingrid Goes West instead if you want a good film about the toxic influence of social media.

June 15, 2020

30 Day Film Challenge. Day 28


Irreversible. I've only seen it once and I never want to see it again. A fucking horror show of a film that will climb into your head and stay there for days, weeks afterwards. Two men are arrested. One is badly injured. We don't know what happened to them. The film skips back in time. The two men find and brutally crush the skull of a man in a sex club while others stand around watching and masturbating. The film skips back in time once more. The same two men attack a trans woman, threatening to castrate her if she doesn't give them the information they want. Time skip. We find out why they are angry. The fiancee of one of them has been brutally raped and beaten to half to death in an underpass in a scene that goes on for nearly ten minutes. They went to kill the man who raped her but when we see this scene we find out they've killed the wrong man. The film skips back in time again and we find out she's pregnant, she's happy and she has no idea what's coming. It's brutal, horrifying viewing, clever in the way it's laid out but disgusting to actually watch. Director Gasper Noé rubs your face in everything. He never cuts away. He wants us to be uncomfortable, to make us squirm. He succeeds royally. 

Fuck Gasper Noé.

Formative cinema trips - a first trip to the IFI

Living outside Dublin you miss a lot. Films considered arthouse don't come within an asses roar of a cinema screen down here and it's an awful pity. I'd read about Lenny Abrahamson's latest film 'What Richard Did' and I knew there was no chance of seeing it on the big screen unless I travelled. So I did. Up to the big smoke. I'm not a fan of Dublin at the best of times but this time there was a reason to go up. My first trip to the Irish Film Institute.

And of course I walked into Filmbase instead. I'd a vague idea where the IFI was but took a wrong turn and got lost. At least the woman behind the desk in Filmbase didn't laugh but i did sense a pitying look at the yokel from her. Eventually I found the way and walked into film heaven. Before I could even get a ticket for the film the IFI shop magically whipped 100 euro's out of my pocket. I was early so bought myself a pint of plain and sat down to watch everything go by for a while. I was instantly smitten. It was smaller than I thought it would be but what a lovely space to relax in. Then came time for the movie. Screen 1 was shabby in those days but charmingly so. You could tell it was a well worn and well loved spot. The crowd began to file and it was then you could see the big difference between here and the usual cinemas. Older people, 70+ loads of them. Awesome. I couldn't remember the last time I saw older people at the cinema. I know it was a senior friendly screening but still, it was such a rare sight. None of them on their phone, no manky popcorn smell, no melt kicking your seat. The place felt so inclusive and so far from the kind of snobby place I feared. I loved it.

Oh and the film was great too.

Must go back soon. It's been way too long.

June 14, 2020

Weirdly anxious

You'd think after 13+ weeks of being stuck in Limerick away from my family I'd be excited about the prospect of a bit of freedom at the end of the month when phase 3 kicks in. But I'm actually kinda nervous and anxious about the whole thing. My brain is playing out every worse case scenario going and I've got that horrible impending doom feeling in the belly thing happening. I'd love to be able to not give a fuck and jump into big queues for the shops that are reopening but you'd be on edge the whole fucking time. Social distancing seems to have gone out the window and the good sense that's been shown for the past 3 months is just kaput. Do people think they're immune? Do they not care because it's mostly old people who've died? Are they ignoring the reality playing out in other countries? Countries that reopened too soon and are now heading down the same road again?

I dunno. I'm kind of shitting it.

June 13, 2020

30 Day Film Challenge. Day 27


Pan's Labyrinth. Guillermo Del Toro's 2006 fairytale for adults. A fantastic story aside it's just glorious to look at. Fluid, intoxicating, mesmerising, terrifying. A sea of dabbled blues, greens and yellows. You'll spend as much time gawping at the screen as you will following the story. The kind of movie where you could hit pause at anytime and what's onscreen would look awesome framed and hanging on your wall. The visual medium really doesn't get better than this. 

The King Of Staten Island



The 40 Year Old Virgin -133
Knocked Up - 129
Funny People - 146
This Is 40 - 133
Trainwreck - 125
The King Of Staten Island - 136

These aren't scores. These are the running times of the films Judd Apatow has directed. The man needs an editor like Thelma Schoonmaker and he needs her now. Comedies never need to be this long. This is the hill I'm choosing to die on.

Staten Island. The forgotten of the 5 boroughs. A stone's throw from Manhattan and yet a million miles away. A rural vibe with the World Trade Centre in the background. Slap bang in the middle is Scott Carlin (Pete Davidson). 24 years old and permanently stoned. Life's been tough since his father died 17 years before and Scott's using his death as an excuse to get ripped ever since. He's living with his mother Margie (Marisa Tomei) and when his sister Claire (Maude Apatow) goes to college Margie realises things have got to change. Scott's one interest is tattoo's and this brings a firefighter called Ray (Bill Burr rocking a ronnie a walrus would be proud of) into their lives. 2020 is the year things are going to get different in the Carlin household.


The King Of Staten Island is at least half an hour too long. Judd Apatow indulges in his worst tendencies as scenes drag on far beyond interest, supporting characters are introduced by the bucketload and plotlines arrive out of the blue late in the day and yet....you can't help but like it because there's so much to like in between the filler. A heartfelt tale of a family coping with loss (Based on Davidson's own life). A lead who starts off annoying but who gets under your skin imperceptibly. Marisa Tomei, who's always brilliant at portraying fragility and a genuinely surprising and layered turn from Bill Burr who massively tones down the angry schtick he's built a stand up career around. Now if only Apatow could let these three carry the story and prune away everything else. There's so much of it that's unnecessary as you'll see when you watch.

Early in his career Apatow produced some TV brilliance like The Larry Sanders Show, Freaks And Geeks, and Undeclared. Shows with large ensemble casts telling sprawling stories and sometimes watching his films you get the feeling he's trying to return to that way of storytelling but it's just not possible in the medium of film. There's just too much packed in here, storywise and characters. It feels messy and bloated and brilliant actors like Steve Buscemi (playing Ray's fire chief) feel totally underused. He gets a great barroom scene (and Burr gets the line of the movie during it) but you get the feeling the film could have been better had it got shot of some of the longeurs with Scott and his friends and brought Buscemi into play earlier. Friends who btw more or less vanish anyway when the movie adds in a totally unnecessary criminal detour at the midpoint.


Davidson's Scott is a hard one to warm to, an unlikeable waster who isn't half as funny as he thinks he is but a combination of his gangly physicality and knowledge of his real life issues with mental health will chip away at your resolve and eventually, against all the odds you'll find yourself rooting for him as he starts to blossom and dig himself out of the hole he's been in for years. It's just a pity it takes so fucking long to happen. Fingers crossed for a 90 minute director's cut.

The Staten Island tourist board aren't going to love this one but there's plenty here to keep you entertained, just make sure you have on something comfortable. Available to stream on google movies now.