The Lannister army men are chilling out, having a relaxing chat on a rainy night. Joking about Renly's "secret" affair with Loras Tyrell. Nothing in the 7th kingdoms is hush hush.
Something's up though. The horses are spooked. THEN!! Carnage.
Robb Stark has once again beaten the Lannister's, this time in a surprise night time attack and once again due to budget issues we don't get to see it. Grrr.
We do get to meet Roose Bolton. Banner man to the Starks. He's iffy though. Can he be trusted? He's deffo not a nice man, wanting to flay prisoners for information. Robb is slightly more humane.
He gets to meet Talisa for the first time. A battlefield nurse with a heart. He's instantly smitten. She's too nice for this violent world and she has no truck with Robb and his waring ways. I bet that will change though.
Joffrey is being a scumbag once again. This time pointing a crossbow at Sansa. He's angry with Robb and taking it out on her. But Cersei knows how important it is that she live so she's safe from Joffrey for the time being. He still lets Ser Meryn Trant beat her though in an awful scene.
Tyrion saves the day though thankfully and shames Joffrey. He's mugged the king off in front of a crowd. This won't go down well.
Bron then gets one of the best lines of the series to date. "There's no cure for being a cunt." The line that spawned a million memes. Perfect.
It's Joffrey's birthday and Tyrion has gifted him two whores. One of them is Ros. It's time for Joffrey to become a man. *Gratuitous nudity klaxon* He has other ideas though and tortures them both as a fuck you to Tyrion. This is Game Of Thrones at it's nastiest and most excessive.
Littlefinger (ugh) has turned up at Renly's camp. Renly has no time for his bullshit and knows Littlefinger is only there to lick his arse in case he beats Cersei.
Soon enough Littlefinger is sniffing around Margery Tyrell, Renly's wife. He's heard the Renly rumours too. He's fierce nosey. She's a Tyrell though and can see through his bullshit too.
Daenerys is still marching. Oh man her story this season sucks. Padding all over the shop. TBH they should have removed her from the show and brought her back in season 3. She's outside the city of Qarth but they have no time for outsiders.
Arya, Gendry, Hotpie and the gang are brought by Tywin Lannister's men to Harrenhal. There Ser Gregor Clegane is torturing people for info on the Brotherhood, a pack of soldiers sent out by Ned Stark to stop Clegane.
The torture here is horrifying. God this is a vile episode tbh. Not one bit enjoyable. There's so much dwelling on suffering. It's very gratuitous.
Arya's death list now consists of Joffrey, Cersei, Ser Ilyn Payne (Her Da's executioner) and The Hound.
At Renly's camp Littlefinger (ugh) reunites with Catelyn. She know despises him, blaming him in part from Ned's death. To worm his way back in he offers her info on Arya and Sansa. She hasn't seen her daughters in months and now she can have them back if she gives up Jaime. She has to trust him now especially when he brings her her dead husband's bones.
Back at Harrenhal Gregor Clegane is choosing people for torture. Hotpie stands up to him and then pisses his pants. He's surprisingly brave for a boy called Hotpie.
Renly and Catelyn meet with Stannis & Melisandre the red witch for a pre battle chat. Two brothers of the late King Robert. Both vying for the throne. Brother vs Brother. Catelyn wants both brothers to join together to face the Lannister's but Stannis's ego won't allow it. Renly has an army but Stannis has a Melisandre.
The leaders of Qarth hold an audience with Daenerys. They've no time for her and will only offer food & water in exchange for a glimpse of her dragons.
When she refuses they turn and leave her & her people to starve. Her rage interests one of the leaders though, a man by the name of Xaro Xhoan Daxos who lets them all in. You get the feeling he doesn't have her best interests at heart though.
Daenerys has to trust him though. To be a good queen she has to put the welfare of her people first. They need to eat and so she has to take a risk. Into Qarth they march.
In Harrenal Gendry is picked next for torture. Oh shit. He can't die! He's King Robert's last son. He has to live.
Thankfully Tywin Lannister returns and stops the torture, preferring the use the prisoners for work. Wow. He's not a totally heartless bollix.
Spotting Arya, the smallest prisoner, in the crowd, he picks her to be his cupbearer. Lucky Arya, moving up in the world.
Cersei is pissed off that Tyrion locked up her spy Maester Pycelle and sends her nephew Lancel to tell Tyrion that. Her nephew that she's riding. Tyrion knows this and blackmails Lancel into being his spy. Tyrion knows all. It's never a bad idea to take him on.
Ser Davos and Stannis are having the chats. Davos is smart man, one who knows compromise is better than battle but Stannis wants to win. And he's got a secret weapon.
Davos is tasked with sneaking Melisandre ashore, just below Renly's camp. What's going on?
Davos doesn't know what to make of Melisandre. Can't say i blame him. She terrifies me. Off they wander into a seacave below Renly's camp. Stannis's plan is about to be birthed. Literally.
Melisandre is pregnant. At full term. Only a few days after she was with Stannis. It's a supernatural pregnancy and Davos is here to witness the labour. Us too in a moment that will haunt your dreams.
A demon claws it's way out of her. A demon made of smoke and evil. An entity born with only one goal in life. Kill Renly Baratheon.
A tough episode to love. Two new and important characters rock up but the amount of nastiness on display here makes you forget everything else. I'm not enjoying Season 2 as much as i remember before. Hopefully it gets better. It all feels like a lot of padding as we near the middle of the season.
Next up - The Ghost Of Harrenhal
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3
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