What's your all time favourite film scene?

What's your favourite scene from a film? The one that gives you goosebumps when you think about it. The one you can quote word for word and you know every single beat of it. That one bit that if you come across it on TV you have to sit down and watch it and then more than likely the rest of the film?

I've a few. It's too hard to just pick one.

But at this very moment it's the climax of Raiders Of The Lost Ark. The opening of the Ark Of The Covenant. The Ark was where the tablets containing the 10 Commandments were kept. Supposedly it had the power of god and could level mountains and lay waste to entire armies. Hitler wants it and Indiana Jones wants to stop him getting it.

It's a scene that never gets old. It never gets boring. And it never ever fails to give me goosebumps.

I'm fairly sure the vast majority of the 6 people who will read this have seen it so we'll skip the film and just set the scene. The Nazi's have both the Ark in their possession and Indiana and Marion captured. They are on a small remote Island in the Aegean Sea and Belloq ( Indy's enemy and the big bad of the film ) wants to see what's in the Ark before he presents it to Hitler. He's going to ritually open it. He's flanked by his cohorts Colonel Dietrich and Major Toht and the whole thing is being watched by a couple of dozen soldiers lighting and filming it all. Indy and Marian are tied up and watching too. There's an eerie air about the place. John William's haunting score isn't helping matters. The irony of an old Jewish ritual being done by evil German's is not lost on us. The ark is opened. Everyone leans forward for a look. Belloq reaches in and...........................finds sand. He's sickened. Feck. Toht starts to laugh manically. All their work for this? 

But then we hear an ominous pulsing noise. Something is happening. Something very strange. Fog begins to pour from the ark. Strange flashes of light and rumblings of thunder appear within. Then ghostly figures start to drift from it. Everyone is freaked but mystified. They back away but can't look away. Except Indy. Cos he knows what time it is. He knows the true power of the Ark and what it can do. "Marian, don't look at it. Shut your eyes Marion don't look at it no matter what happens!" This is the moment we realise it's all going to kick off. More apparitions pour from within. Haunting angelic faces swirl through the people watching. Belloq is delighted with himself and proclaims "IT'S BEAUTIFUL!!" and then very quickly it's not. 

Just watch the link below for one of the all time best and still scariest movie scenes.






It's quite stunning that this film was rated PG. 80's family films were like snuff movies compared to the tameness of blockbusters releases these days.

I was 8 the first time I saw this film. I fell in love with it and 30 years later I still do. And this scene still gets me. Goosebumps every single time. As a young lad it was the scene of the angelic face turning malevolent that did me in. That moment combined with the score going from haunting to petrifying. I dived behind a chair for safety but crucially I kept watching. Enthralled. The wrath of god lashing out against the Nazis. Scores of them being smited and the worst punishment being kept for the main baddies. What a crowd pleaser of a scene. I'd have loved to have seen it in the cinema in 1981 with a huge unsuspecting crowd. I'd say there was bedlam. 

Brilliant stuff.

So? What's yours?

The Drummer And The Keeper. A cracker of an Irish film.

I love Irish films. Love em. One thing that makes them unique in my opinion is their ability to make you laugh while kicking you in the balls. All my favourites have done it. My Left Foot, Intermission, Saltwater, Inside I'm Dancing, The Butcher Boy, Song Of The Sea, Adam & Paul and so on. The best of them will batter your heart while tickling the soles of your feet.

The Drummer And The Keeper is the latest in a long line of great Irish films that does just that.

It's a life affirming but at times quietly devastating look at the effects of mental illness on people and those around them.

Gabriel is a young man with a bipolar disorder and Christopher is a teenager with Asperger's syndrome. Physician ordered exercise at part of their treatment brings them together and they slowly develop a friendship that blossoms when they realise the missing parts of themselves fit together with the other. But life has a way of being horrible at times.

I really really liked this. It was a wonderful film. It's full of warmth and heart. It made me laugh out loud in places and gave me a lump in my throat in others. It's beautifully acted by the leads and well written so they we really care about the characters and the tough journeys they face. It's shows us the challenges of living with mental illness and of caring for people with mental illness and does it with a lovely light touch that is neither preachy or cold. Kudos to director Nick Kelly for that. He does a great job with this. It's heavy going in places but never revels in the misery of it all. And the funnier sides of the film come from the characters. We laugh with them and not at them. Nothing is ever made light of. All this in 94 minutes too. It's not padded but never feels rushed. That's always good.

The cast were great. The leads are played by Dermot Murphy as Gabriel and Jacob McCarthy as Christopher. Both bring something special to their roles. Murphy reminded me of a young Philo, all big hair and long limbs and it's superb watching his initial hard shell crack open to reveal just how fragile he really is. McCarthy though was magic as a teenager slowly warming to the new world he is introduced to during his new friendship. He's the heart of the film and it's funny bone too. His inability to be nothing less than straight talking gives us some hilarious moments. It's quite stunning that this is his film debut. Annie Ryan brings warmth as well in her role of Dr Flahavan, Gabriel's counsellor. In another film her character might have been cold and clinical but here you really get the sense she cares for her charge. Aoibhinn McGinnity as Gabriel's sister has only a few scenes but makes the most of them as someone who's has been hurt and betrayed one times too many by her brother, pain and concern is clear on her face. Peter Coonan and Charlie Kelly round out the cast as two friends of Gabriel. Coonan plays an awkward character well in a part a million miles away from his role as Fran in Love/Hate and Charlie Kelly ( who was so good in TV3's Smalltown) does great as a initially sound chap who quickly shows his shitty side.

The only downside I can think of was, and maybe this is just me being fussy, but I found the ending to be a little bit too fairytale and abrupt in places. A couple of things kind of happen out of nowhere. One especially was a bit jarring. You'll know it when you see it. They don't ruin any of the goodness that came beforehand though.

I have no idea if the depictions of mental illness or developmental disorders shown here are realistic or not. Some people might take offence at some moments or find it all a bit simplified. I can only judge the film on it's merits and I really liked it. It moved me. It choked me up and made me smile. I think it's really worth going to see. I think people will enjoy it a lot. Plus as always it feels great to support Irish films in the cinema.

One last thing. It reminded me of just how great Lego can be. Next time I'm home I'm digging out my old collection.

The Unsung heroes of cinema & TV part 23. Kurtwood Smith.

Kurtwood Smith 

 Another in a very very long line of fine actors who for one reason or another never got to make the jump to leading man material but have over the course of his career he's created numerous unforgettable characters on film and TV. Primarily a film actor for the first 2 decade of his working life but a shrewd leap to TV in the late 90's gave him a major career boost and he's rarely off the small screen since. 

 He's been a space president ruling over a federation of 1000's of planets. He's disapproved of Mork's teaching style. Starred in some of the biggest action franchises of the 80's and 90's and some of the worst direct to video films of the 80's and 90's. He's fretted over hijacked trains and US battleships and stolen stealth bombers. He taught John Travolta how to dance in a very early role. He's dealt with Mulder and Scully, Benjamin Cisco and Kathryn Janeway, Jack Bauer and Kitty Foreman. Been in Woody Allen films one year and Christopher Lambert films the next. He's been all over the shop in a near 40 year career and it's always great to see him pop up onscreen. Check out his career here. 

Greatest Hits 

Robocop. Clarence Boddicker. One of the most intimidating villains to ever grace the silver screen. That baldy head and glasses combo, terrifying. Only he could make a line like "Can you fly Bobby?" so scary. A pure bastard. Quotable as hell. And as is right and proper gets one of the best and bloodiest death scenes of the 80's. 





That 70's Show. Red Foreman. The father in a show about teenagers and the funniest of all of them. A mean, cynical, tight, briary bastard of a man who owns the screen every single time he appears. 

Dead Poet's Society. A stern and harsh man who discovers in the worst possible way what will happen when you are too strict with your children. 

Previous entries 

1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22

Wind River. A simple tale well told.

In 2015 Taylor Sheridan wrote Sicario. It was great, proper hard hitting stuff. In 2016 he wrote Hell Or High Water and hit the bullseye again. Another cracker. In 2017 he wrote and directed Wind River and guess what? It hits the target again. He's good. And I can't wait to see what he comes up with next.

Any way. Wind River.

While tracking a mountain lion in the depths of the Wind River reservation in Wyoming, a wildfire service agent named Cory finds the body of a young Native American woman who has frozen to death in the snow. The FBI sends a solitary agent, Jane Banner, to see if there has been a murder. Together they uncover another in a long line of injustices perpetrated against America's indigenous people.

I thought this was very good. A simple and straight forward drama but one full of depth and told well. From it's bluntly metaphorical opening to its sobering ending it gripped me the whole way through. I do love a good crime drama and this delivers the goods. It's well written (mostly) and well acted by a solid cast. It's populated by characters who you'll actually give a shit about. It's perfectly paced. At 107 minutes it definitely doesn't outstay its welcome. Because its well written we get to know the characters while keeping the story moving forward. Characters are deftly sketched with a few choice words of dialogue. Plus it doesn't feel the need to pad out the story with extraneous subplots which is always refreshing in an era of bloated running times. It's far from the action thriller that trailers have made it out to be but it does contain one absolutely nail biting scene of tension/action. I don't want to ruin it but remember the highway traffic jam scene in Sicario. It's on a par with that. The scenery is pretty stunning too. The snowy vistas of Wind River are wide open and epic but feel oppressive at the same time. People are trapped there by circumstance. We get a snapshot of the modern day life of the people on the reservation. It's a harsh way of living. We also get a glimpse of the ways different cultures deal with loss and grief. 

The acting is pretty damn fine all round. Jeremy Renner as Cory is an actor I've never had much time for. In most of his roles he's about as exciting as a damp cardboard box but he delivers here. He creates a character of great economy. One who cuts through the shite to get things done fast. A man who deals with problems by hitting them in the face with a snow shovel. A tragic past has made him into the man he is today and his motivations are explained in a piece of acting that's probably the best thing he's ever done. Elizabeth Olsen as Jane is good but doesn't have much to work with. A lot of the time she's just standing and listening or observing whats going on. Maybe that's what a good FBI agent does but it doesn't really make for exciting thesping. That said she gets her inexperience as a rookie agent across well and looks believable during the more physical aspects of her role. The two main supporting roles are played by native American actors Graham Green and Gil Bermingham. Both hit the spot. Bermingham who was so good in last years Hell Or High Water is very convincing as a man losing his way in the depths of grief and Green as a Tribal police cop adds a much needed touch of warmth and humour to proceedings.

It's dark stuff. It's going to disturb you in places. The crime itself is horrifying. It's just another in a large list of horror Native Americans have had to suffer. The tribal people we see in modern day American films aren't the proud people we saw in westerns of the past. They are a beat down people with a culture that's been destroyed by White America. The weight of history hovers heavily over every aspect of this film. 

A few problems do arise. It's a bit heavy handed in places and as mentioned already Olsen's character is quite underwritten. Sheridan's previous film Sicario suffered a similar problem with a female character presented as the lead and then unceremoniously shunted to the side. This is an issue I hope he addresses in his next piece of work.

That said I liked this a lot. It's a dark, stark but compelling look at a side of America that's usually ignored. 

One thing though. I can't help but wonder what the film would have been like had the character of Cody been a tribal member. I know Renner is a box office draw and is excellent in the role but with a Native American lead this could have been unique.

Ah well.

11 films to enjoy on TV this week.

X+Y   Sat   9/9   BBC2 @ 21.00

A young autistic man finds his closed in world opening up when he takes part in an international mathematics competition. A lovely film that will upset you and make you smile. Not exactly a comprehensive look at the condition but it gives us an idea of what people with it and their families go through. Great acting from Asa Butterfield and Sally Hawkins as son & mother and Rafe Spall & Eddie Marsan are always good to see onscreen. 

All Is Lost   Sat   9/9   RTE1 @ 23.25

A man travelling by himself on a yacht across the Indian ocean finds his ship has been damaged and is flooding fast. He has to save himself fast. That's it. Thats the plot. Nice and simple and it makes for a cracker of film. There's a cast of one, Robert Redford and he carries the film superbly. It's scary, nail bitingly tense in places, life affirming stuff that will hook you until the very last frame.

The Private Life Of Sherlock Holmes   Sun   10/9   TCM @ 18.35

The legendary detective takes on a seemingly simple case of a missing person and it leads him to places you would never expect. Billy Wilder's take on the famous story is just wonderful and for once it's far more about the man than the case. A poignant, slightly bizarre and surreal but fantastically entertaining tale. Robert Stevens & Colin Blakely are perfect as Holmes & Watson and Christopher Lee plays a fun part in it all too.

The Great Gatsby   Sun   10/9   RTE1 @ 23.10

A man finds himself intrigued with his new Long Island neighbour and slowly finds himself being sucked into an opulent lifestyle. Baz Luhrmann's take on the famous novel might have not much in the way of depth but its a feast for the eyes and has a fantastic cast including Leonardo DiCaprio, Joel Edgerton, Carey Mulligan and Tobey Maguire. DiCaprio and especially Edgerton are on fire in this.

Shane   Mon   11/9   Film4 @ 14.30

A worn out gunslinger wants to retire and tend to a farm but as finds himself drawn into a conflict between a land owner and a rancher. One of the all time best westerns here and also contains one of the all time best bar fight scenes. You can't go wrong watching this. Alan Ladd is superb in the main role and gets solid support from familiar faces of the genre like Van Heflin, Elisha Cooke Jr and the great Jack Palance.

World Trade Center   Mon   11/9   TG4 @ 21.30

2 Port Authority police officers responding to a plane crash at the World Trade Center find themselves trapped when the towers collapse on top of them. Olive Stone directs this sobering and intimate look at the events of 9/11 and thankfully does it without his usual stylistic flourishes and bombast. Nicholas Cage and Michael Peña are on top form in this tense and claustrophobic look at the strength of human will. 

Contact   Tues   12/9   Syfy @ 21.00

A scientist who has spent her entire life looking for extra terrestrial life discovers an unusual radio signal sent from deep space. Robert Zemeckis's sci-fi drama is a stunner. A film that will intrigue you, thrill you and fully engage your head and your heart. It's 150 mins long but just flies by. The cast is cracking. Jodie Foster in the lead is excellent as always and she gets fine back up from Matthew McConaughey and the late and much missed John Hurt.

Dragon : The Bruce Lee Story   Wed   13/9   TCM @ 21.00

The story of the greatest martial art legend to ever grace the silver screen, from his teenage years in Hong Kong to his tragic death at the age of 33 in 1973. A thrilling and fun film and Jason Scott Lee (no relation) is impressive in the lead role, perfectly nailing the man's physicality and sense of fun. It mightn't be exactly accurate and a few scenes are tqbh, blatantly fabricated but it's highly entertaining stuff. 

Let The One Right In   Thur   14/9   The Horror Channel @ 00.40

A young boy living in a suburb of Stockholm is being bullied but finds the strength to fight back when he befriends a peculiar little girl. A stunning take on a horror tale that's as old as film itself. This is dark, original and twisted stuff but be warned it is not for the squeamish amongst you. Two words - swimming pool. Wow. Kåre Hedebrant & Kåre Hedebrant are just fantastic in their cinematic debut as the 2 children. 

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower   Fri   15/9   Film4 @ 18.35

Charlie is a young man with mental health issues who struggles to make a connection with his schoolmates in 1980's Pittsburgh. Here's a rare teen movie with actual substance that will stick with you for a long time. A cracking film full of super performances (Logan Lerman, Emma Watson & Ezra Miller especially), characters you'll care about and a lethal soundtrack. One of my favourite films of the past 10 years.

Rogue   Fri (technically Sat)   15/9   BBC1 @ 5 past midnight

A group of tourists on a boat trip in Northern Australia find themselves trapped on a small island when they are attacked by a massive crocodile. And the tide is rising. Of course. A solidly entertaining and jumpy little thriller made believable by fine creature effects and a good cast including Radha Mitchell and Michael Vartan. Greg McLean's follow up to Wolf Creek isn't as scary as his debut but its a lot more fun.

It. A very entertaining horror movie.

Coulrophobia - A fear of clowns. Dismissed as a made up phobia by science but try telling that to the millions of people who suffer from it.

I was 13 when I watched the original miniseries of 'It'. Frightened the life out of me and my brother. He was 10 when he was subjected to it. The poor chap. Like the Stephen King book it was based on it was a story of two halves, one based in the late 50's and one in the mid 80's. The earlier half was about the kids and their experiences and the second half was them as adults. The first half was far superior.

The new film adaption is based on the first half of the book too. With part 2 coming next year. It's a damn fine horror film. The miniseries was tamed down to comply with 90's TV standards. The film isn't tame. Not at all.

It's set in a small Maine town called Derry in 1988-1989. A spate of missing children and teenagers has the town on edge. Chief among them is Bill Denborough who's brother Georgie is one of the missing. Over the course of the summer Bill and all his friends Richie, Eddie, Stan, Ben, Mike & Beverly have eerie and downright terrifying run ins with a clown like figure until they decide enough is enough and decide to take control of their own destiny.

'It' is an immensely entertaining crowd pleaser of a horror film and I mean that in a good way. It's very well written, crafted and acted. The young cast is just great and (nearly) everyone gets their moment to shine. The horror aspects of the film are well done without being too offputting. There's plenty of nasty stuff but the film doesn't revel in it and thankfully leaves a lot to your imagination. One particularly weird part of the original book has been excised and if you know what I'm talking about you'll be pleased to hear this. TBH it was unfilmable and I'm glad they didn't even attempt it. It's guilty of the LOUD NOISES and JUMP SCARES thing that modern horror seems to love but at least the jump scares work. I nearly lifted out of the chair during one particularly well crafted moment involving a slide machine. Because the action has been moved from the 1950's to 1989 it resonates more with today's audience too. It grounds the action well. Seeing films advertised in cinemas that we've seen. Terrible music that we laughed at. Manky jeans we all wore. Technology we all remember well. It all builds the atmosphere nicely. The scenes of exploration reminded me of my own youth. Me and friends sneaking into places we shouldn't have been. Heebee Jeebee time.

As mentioned the young cast hit the spot. They all get solid memorable moments in the spotlight. Except Stan. He was the only one who came across as unmemorable and tbh I had the same issue with the book and miniseries. Many he was just one character too much. Bill, Richie, Eddie and Bev are the stand outs. Cracking little characters you want to see survive til the end of the film. Each of them with characteristics we remember from our own youth or from friends. Played by Jaeden Lieberher, Finn Wolfhard ( who was in Stranger Things), Jack Dylan Grazer and Sophia Lillis respectively they give their all and each add something unique to the mix. But the star of the film is Bill Skarsgård who is just perfect as Pennywise The Dancing Clown. His performance thankfully is its own thing and not a carbon copy of Tim Curry from the first adaption. He's creepy as hell. His odd mish-mash of an accent lends a weird and askew edge to Pennywise and his physicality is put to good use later in the story.

One aspect of the film I particularly liked was the suggestion that the town has been infected by 'It'. That his evil has seeped in over time. This was in the original book but mostly left out of the miniseries. It's a subtle evil. The adults that drive by a young boy being bullied. The predatory smile of a shopkeeper. The extremely over protective mother. The touch of a father that lingers that bit too long. The man who's bullying ways have created a self fulfilling prophecy. Insidious nastiness that allows true evil to develop without anyone noticing.

Another very welcome aspect was just how funny it all was. That was unexpected and very pleasing. Without the laughs it would have been too unrelenting. The kids were great and they actually talked like kids. Swearing up a storm at an age were profanity is still taboo and gleefully breaking that taboo with abandon. Richie and Eddie especially, the vast majority of their lines were gold.

Because the miniseries had to comply to TV regulations it had to tone down some of the books horror and be more subtle about it. The film doesn't have to do that and maybe suffers a little from it. Some of the sequences of horror are a bit too OTT. Combine that with the LOUD music and it does feel a bit like overkill in places. And of course there was the ubiquitous horror film lapse of logic. People wandering off by themselves when they really should stay in a group. But Ill forgive it this time because the characters are kids and not grown ups who should know better. Other annoyances were unexplained things left hanging but hopefully these will be looked into in chapter 2 of the story. Hopefully.

All in all though I thoroughly enjoyed this. It was great fun.  It's the perfect film to see in a packed cinema. It will make you laugh and then it will make you roar. Loads of goodies all wrapped around an excellent little cast. A thoroughly entertaining 2 hrs if you are brave enough to go for it. Go on. You know you want to.

A perfect pairing of sound & vision part 8. An American Werewolf in London

An amazing scene with brilliantly inappropiate and yet perfectly appropriate music.

Blue moon
Now I'm no longer alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own

Just look those special effects. Being than any CGI ever. 36 years later and it will still drop your jaw like the first time you saw it. So good it won the first ever Academy Award for make-up.

I was 12 the first time i saw this. It scared me senseless.



Fuck yer Twilight CGI werewolves. This is the business.

Previous parts

Dazed And Confused
Boogie Nights
Raging Bull
Almost Famous
Once Upon A Time In The West
Goodfellas
Last Of The Mohicans

Patti Cake$. A really strong underdog story.

"It's always darkest before the dawn" - Florence Welch.

I love going to see a film I know nothing about. It's a nice experience going in cold.  And it's exponentially improved when the film turns out to be really good. It's a lovely gamble to win.

Patti Cake$ was one such gamble and it paid off royally.

It's the story of a young woman called Patricia Dumbrowski from Bayonne, New Jersey who dreams of using her pretty damn great talents as a rapper to escape her dreary grind of an existence. She lives with her sick granny who she loves and her alcoholic mother who she doesn't. Her only friend is a pharmacist called Jheri who shares her dreams. One night at a open mic show she gets inspired and decides now is the time to make her dream come through. But life has an awfully shitty habit of getting in the way.

I thoroughly enjoyed this. I left the cinema with a pure dopey grin on my face. I do love a good underdog tale. There has however been dozens of films like this. TBH if you've ever seen a film you'll have a rough idea of how it's going to do. But few films tell their stories with this much vim. With a main character who you think you are going to be annoyed by but end up loving. It's well acted all around. Like Patti's rhymes it has a lovely flow. If you go into this expecting Ali G/white rap type cringiness you ain't going to find it. Patti is a genuinely gifted musician. The only thing holding her back is herself, her fear of failure, her fear of being ridiculed. Her fellow musicians are skilled too. The lads freestyling outside the local petrol station are talented. It's not a film making fun of its subjects. It shows us their dreary lifestyles so we'll hope and pray they can escape them. It's quite a sad and depressing film in places. Living in New Jersey they can see the the Manhattan skyline but it may as well be a million miles away. So close yet so far away. This is director Geremy Jasper's first feature length film and it's one he can be rightly proud of.

Danielle McDonald as Patti aka Killer P aka Patti Cake$ is just brilliant. I've never seen her in anything before but I hope I see her in lots in the future. I feared at first the film would make fun of her appearance or use it as a running joke but it was never an issue which was refreshing. She's a great character. You want her to succeed, you want her to do well. Every knock back she receives will feel like a personal insult to you. She's so good you'll overlook the slight silliness of some scenes and just want to cheer her on. She carries the film perfectly. Bridget Everett as her mam is good too. Hateful at first but slowly her problems become relatable and her humanity starts to seep out. Siddharth Dhananjay as Jheri is great fun. His character brings the laughs but his brotherly feelings and awe of Patti's skills are clear to see. Mamoudou Athie as Basterd The Antichrist is the 3rd member of their crew and brings a nice unpredictable edge to the film. His look and musical genius mixed with Patti's words gives the movie it's impetus. He's a man of few words but he puts them across in a very meaningful way. Lastly Cathy Moriarty is in good form as Patti's cantankerous but loving granny. She mightn't like the music her grand daughter creates but she appreciates her talent nonetheless.

The film touches on cultural appropriation too. I'm glad it did. To ignore it in 2017 would be stupid. Patti is called a culture vulture in one scene and it hits home with her, really rattles her. Not much more is mentioned on the subject as it's not meant to be a political film but the acknowledgement of it at least was welcome. 

At 108 minutes it's too long and a few bits and pieces here and there could have been snipped. One or two subplots bubble up but nothing comes of them either and these could have been easily lost. And as I mentioned earlier, these stories tend to be rather predictable too but these petty grievances aside I really liked this.

Think of it as Rocky meets Eight Mile. Superb acting and characters you'll really care about. How could you go wrong like?

The Twits. A book I'd look to see on the big screen.

A right pair of bastards

I'd do bad things to see Roald Dahl's 'The Twits' turned into a live action film.

The Twits is a wonderful book, dark but hilarious in that way only Dahl could do. Me and my brother read it numerous times as children and cried laughing at it everytime. It was the first time I'd read a children's book that contained characters so unabashedly nasty. It was also full of queasy Quentin Blake illustrations that made you squirm when you looked at them but of course that just made you look even closer.

It's the story of an absolutely vile couple. Mr and Mrs Twit. A pair of hateful morons. They despise everything. Animals. The neighbourhood children. Each other. They spend their lives shut inside their house, only emerging to trap birds to put into their bird pies. They are both miserable and spend their time devising ingenuous plans to make each other even more miserable. Glass eyeballs are popped into pints of beer. Worms are mixed into spaghetti. One amazing plan sees tiny discs of wood gradually added to the bottom of furniture and a walking stick to make a person assume they are slowly shrinking. Eventually people become sick of them and their nastiness and use some of the Twit's own tricks to get revenge.

All the nasty fun aside there's a great moral to the story too. It's about what happens to people when they become too filled with hate and spite. What happens when you let it take control of you. How inner ugliness starts to show on the outside too. (See the pic of Mrs Twit below). The dangers of a toxic relationship.

As for who could play them. They'd have to be British actors. Definitely. Or maybe Irish. We both share that same warped sense of humour.


Mrs Twit. 

The progress of Mrs Twit

I'd love to see Kathy Burke in the role. She's a brilliant actress and comedian, does grumpy and frumpy excellently, and one who can be hilariously filthy at times. Waynetta Slob anyone? Throw on a fright wig, a fake nose and chin and a handful of warts and she'd be the perfect Mrs Twit.


Mr Twit.

Mr Twit's beard still makes me shudder 30 years later

I'd love to see an actor noted for playing upper crust characters take on Mr Twit. Hugh Laurie maybe. Mark Rylance or Michael Sheen(he'd be great).  I'd pay good money to see any of those with a scraggly beard taking on a plate full of wriggly spaghetti. Wait a minute! Brendan Gleeson could be awesome in this. Imagine that ginger beard full of food scraps. Lovely.

Dahl's films have a pretty good history of being adapted well to film. Willy Wonka (the first one) & The Witches perfectly captured the light and dark so prevalent in his books. Matilda was lovely fun and although I wasn't a fan of either The BFG or Fantastic Mr Fox, both were very well received. 

Roald Dahl originally wrote this book because he hated beards, hated men who grew them. Imagine what he'd think of today.

C'mon someone and make it please. It would be deadly.

The Limehouse Golem. Good but not helped by a nothing lead character.

"When legend becomes fact, print the legend" - The most famous quote from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.

"Fame and success are as addictive as heroin" - Sylvester Stallone.

2 apt quotes for this film. It will make sense when the closing credits roll.

Victorian era London. 1880. A police inspector investigating a series of perplexing and horrific murders finds himself questioning a woman tangentially involved in the case who is facing a possible death sentence in another separate case. He delves into her life and is troubled by what he finds. Meanwhile he finds himself looking into a diverse group of suspects in the murder case. Can he solve both mysteries? Maybe. Who knows? Actually, me, I know. And I don't do spoilers because I'm sound like that. 

I went into this film totally cold and enjoyed it but a couple of big issues threaten to derail it as well.

It's a well paced and well written (apart from one vital aspect, more on this later) movie. We get a lot of info thrown and us and plenty of twists and turns that will make you sure of one thing and then unsure of it later. Loads of suspects as well to make it a nice guessing game. It's a grim and realistically staged recreation of Victorian era London. From the sleazy darkness that made the place so dangerous for women and children to the much needed joy that music halls brought into peoples lives. It's recreation of the entertainment of the day is great fun actually and gives us a bit of light in the darkness. It's also quite a gritty and bloody film but doesn't revel in it. It's restrained in places where I expected full on goo but still throws in a few well placed shockers to make the more squeamish out there squirm in their seats. There's also a couple of scenes that will upset everyone so be warned. As well as this it's a look at the downtrodden role of women in Victorian society and how they were seen as a commodity no matter how hard they tried to rise up. And to top it off it's a look at the price of fame and what people are willing to do to achieve it. This gives the film a nice bit of depth that is sorely missing elsewhere.

There's a very decent cast on display too. An unusually serious Bill Nighy leads the film as Inspector John Kildare. Daniel Mays (one of my fave British actors at the moment) is good as a Bobby following the inspectors lead. Douglas Booth, ropey accent aside does good work as as a popular performer in the music halls. Eddie Marsan shows his darker side as a man in charge of a music hall and rocks an amazing tache but the film belongs to Olivia Cooke as a woman who has grown up hard and then finds herself facing a noose for a crime she says she didn't commit. She's great in this, lights up the screen when she appears and I fully expect her to become a big star when her next film 'Ready Player One' is released.

It's structure left a lot to be desired though. A lot is shown through flashbacks which are at first quite confusingly staged. After a while you'll figure then out but the film might lose some viewers interests before that. It's a stylistic thing that I found annoying and unnecessary. Not the flashbacks now, just how some of them are shown. Also Bill Nighy's Inspector Kildare has zero depth. None. He's basically there to explain the plot to us. That's not a good way to treat the main character. We get some early whispers of inner turmoil and strife but nothing is explored past that. Why bother paying lip service to an interesting aspect of a lead characters life if you aren't going to do anything with it? Nighy is a cracking actor and felt wasted here.

It looks good. It's nicely twisty and twisted. If you don't mind a nothing lead character this is a pretty solid 2 hrs in the cinema 

11 films to enjoy on TV this week.

Hunky Dory   Sat   2/9   BBC2 @ 22.40

A music teacher in a Welsh school who is trying and failing to stage a Shakespeare play decides to give things a modern day spin by adding popular music to help engage her couldn't care less pupils. This 70's set drama is good fun and Minnie Driver in the lead role is great. This is likable feel good stuff with an amazing soundtrack. Aneurin Barnard and Kimberley Nixon are good in support. 

Red Rock West   Sat   2/9   TCM @ 23.20

A drifter turns up in a small town and it mistaken for someone else. But then the someone else turns up and things get bloody. John Dahl's modern noir thriller is a little cracker of a film. Intelligent, chock full of unpredictable twists and turns and with a super cast including Nicholas Cage, Dennis Hopper and Lara Flynn Boyle. Thankfully they all manage to tone down the madness they are usually known for too and give fine performances.

The Blues Brothers   Sun   3/9   RTE1 @ 00.35

2 musicians set out to raise money to save an orphanage and they do it the only way they know how. John Landis's cult comedy is brilliantly bonkers stuff. An action comedy musical with a surreal edge would be one way to describe it. The late John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd are perfect as Elwood and Jake and lead a super cast of famous musicians like Aretha Franklin, James Brown and Ray Charles. Plus nazis die. Always good.

Toy Story 3   Sun   3/9   BBC1 @ 17.00

Andy is off to college and his toys accidentally get thrown out. But the toys aren't about to take this lying down. The 3rd in the Toy Story trilogy is a rare beast. A film that's better than the ones before it. This is a magnificent film about growing up and moving on, while also being a brilliant comedy/action film/escape movie. It will make you laugh and kick you in the heart at the same time. A perfect family film.

Mad Max : Fury Road   Mon   4/9   RTE2 @ 21.00

In a post apocalyptic Australia a drifter joins up with a group of women to escape an evil master. Tom Hardy & Charlize Theron lead the cast as Max Rockatansky and Imperator Furiosa in one of the best action films of the 21st century. Seriously. Hardy does his usual grumbly thing while Theron steals the film from under him. The title may be Mad Max but the women own this film. It's awesome. Give it a go. It will wow you.

The Outlaw Josey Wales   Mon   4/9   TCM @ 23.10

A man loses his family and sets out for revenge but finds himself building a surrogate family on the way. My all time favourite western. A mix of the old fashioned westerns of the 50's and the revisionist ones of the 70's. It's just a perfect movie. Clint Eastwood stars and directs and does a wonderful job of both. Superb cast too. John Vernon, Sondra Locke, Joseph Bottoms and numerous recognisable genre faces. 

The Farthest   Tues   5/9   RTE1 @ 22.15

40 years ago the twin voyager probes were sent on a journey into deep space and are still travelling now. Their missions were to explore our solar system and hold information in case of contact with extra terrestrial life. This Irish made documentary is a look at a stunning human achievement. A look at the good we are capable of. It will wow you with what could be done with the technology of the time and may even bring a tear to your eye.

Don't Look Now   Tues   5/9   The Horror Channel @ 22.50

After they suffer an unimaginable tragedy, a married couple go to Venice to grieve and to repair the cracks in their relationship. But things get strange. Not a horror film exactly but this is quite terrifying in places. A dark, haunting, eerie but yet beautiful film that will stay with you long after you finish it. Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland give career best performances here. 

Stoker   Wed   6/9   Film4 @ 23.40

After her father dies, a young woman and her mother are visited by an uncle they never knew existed. Slowly she begins to realise all isn't what it seems. Mia Wasikowska is great as the lead in a slow burn thriller that breaks free of it's Hitchcockian roots to become something very compelling, lurid, darkly funny and quite unique. Matthew Goode is excellent as the mysterious man and Nicole Kidman gives solid backup.

Senna   Thur   7/9   ITV4 @ 23.00

A stunner of a documentary about the life and death of the famous Formula One driver Ayrton Senna. Even if like me you couldn't give a flying fig about the sport you'll still find yourself gripped by this absorbing, dramatic and tense story. It paints a superb portrait of a driven charismatic chap and even though you know how it will end you'll still find yourself hoping for a different outcome. 

This Is England   Fri   8/9   Film4 @ 21.00

A young boy grieving for his father is taken under the wing of a gang of skinheads. Life is sweet until a face from the past turns things upside down. The best British film of the 21st century right here. A fantastic look at the horrible dark underbelly of life in Margaret Thatcher's Britain. Shane Meadow's directs an astounding cast of unknowns in a film that will bowl you over. Stephen Graham & Thomas Thurgoose are the stand outs.