Heat is disgusting

It's 20 something degrees. Humidity is at 99%. It's 23.30. This is not natural. If I had hair I'd have an afro by now. Us paddies aren't designed for this shit. We're a bog people. We've thick blood, made for the cold. This weather is bad for us. No, it's deadly. We get cranky and moany. We pile into the freezer aisle in Tesco and get pissy because everyone else has the same idea. We devour ice cream in record amounts to keep us cold meaning we get bigger meaning the heat feels even worse. We eat stews and mashed potatoes on the warmest days and complain we can't cool down. We don't do hot weather like other countries. Sure we get the odd lovely day when the skies are blue but most of the time our hot weather is accompanied but grey skies and rain meaning everything stays warm and damp and unpleasant as fuck. A typical Irish summer day feels like breathing through a damp towel taken off a radiator. It's rotten. We get the bus and it stinks of B.O. at 9am. Even worse, that smell of B.O. that someone has tried to disguise with a blast of Lynx Africa, a warped stench that lingers in the nostrils far longer than the bus journey itself.

When I win the lotto I'm moving to the north of Norway. Then in the summer I'll retire to my holiday home in Tierra Del Fuego.

Btw, Moloney, if you're reading this, stop rolling your eyes :D

Spree

Spree is a film that's probably going to age badly. Like Infamous from a few months back (that feels like decades) it's very much a film of the moment. A story of online attention seekers craving likes and faves to fill the emptiness in their lives but unlike Infamous it's actually pretty good.

Kurtsworld96. A videoblog documenting everything Kurt Kunkle does everyday. His mantra's are "ABC, always be charging." (this one will make David Mamet's face bleed) & "If you aren't streaming your life, you don't even exist." The irony is that in online terms Karl may as well not exist. He's been doing this for years but no one is watching and it's killing him. He's getting desperate. He'll do anything to get his viewership above double digits. So one fateful day he plasters his Spree car (a fictional version of Uber) with cameras and heads out into the world armed with poisoned bottles of water and an electric drill. He knows the snapchat/insta stories viewers of the world want sensationalism and goddamnit he's going to give it to them.

Remember Jake Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler from a few years back? Remember how creepy and pathetic he was? Now imagine he got into the social media game. That's Spree and while it mightn't be as good as that film this certainly hits the spot as a look at an instantly disposable culture, a culture always looking for the next big buzz while forgetting the last one in seconds. It's something we're all guilty of these days. Look at twitter, everyday we latch onto something new, roaring and shouting about it and the next day/that evening/an hour later there's another thing catching our eye. Spree is about the people creating that new content and the lengths they'll go to for those fake internet points. Watching it you may think it's far fetched but it ain't really. Think back over the last year or two, youtube "celebs" discovering the bodies of people who've committed suicide and filming their bodies while laughing, spewing racism and homophobia to cause outrage and gain more viewers, taking part in looting and having the FBI raid their homes. Real life makes Spree look quite plausible.

A fine turn from Joe Keery makes it look even more plausible. He nails that sense of neediness and the pathetic, pathological want for attention you get from those who share every aspect of their lives online. Kurt's a man with no sense of space or morality. Everything is about attention, everything is about him. Extreme narcissism has turned him psychopathic but because Keery plays the part so well, even at his worst you'll still feel bad for him, especially in the scene where his inner most fears are played for laughs in a comedy club while a close up camera view livestreams every emotion playing across his face to his new found audience. Unfortunately a lot of his good work is undone by the film's refusal to totally condemn him. The people he picks up in his car are walking cliches, designed to play to the audiences prejudices so we won't really mind when he's does them in. No one really cares when a nazi dies do they?

This fence sitting attitude pervades the rest of the film too. Everyone who gets more than a couple of minutes screentime is living their lives online, be it Joe's DJ father (David Arquette), the slimy sexist Mario (John DeLuca) who seems to have based both his look and schtick on Tom Cruise's character from Magnolia, or Jessie Adams (Sasheer Zamata), the instagram famous comedian who Kurt finally meets his match with. The film doesn't paint this modern lifestyle as a healthy one, with one character in particular finally seeing the error of their ways but come the close of the film it totally reverses it's stance, giving the entire movie a confused, messy tone and you'll leave the cinema looking at your phone thinking "is this a good thing or a bad thing?"

Spree is in cinemas now. It's blunt, it's messy, it might give you a headache but it's never boring and it's leading turn from Joe Keery is a memorable one.

15 films on TV this week chosen just for you

Wind River   Sat   15/8   Film4 @ 21.00

While tracking a mountain lion in the Wind River reservation a wildlife service agent finds a young woman's body and evidence of a far more dangerous predator. Taylor Sheridan's 2017 drama is a good but very tough watch, a stark and violent look at the way America treats it's own indigenous people. The usually dull Jeremy Renner does nice work here and gets solid back up from Elizabeth Olsen and Graham Greene.

Cool Hand Luke   Sat   15/8   TG4 @ 22.05

Luke is a young man from the south with a serious attitude problem. He winds up in jail and realises quickly his failure to communicate is going to cause him all manner of hassle. An honest to goodness masterpiece and one of the films that made Paul Newman a star. Packed full of classic moments and dialogue that you will recognise even if you haven't seen the movie before. Newman is a spendid lead and George Kennedy as a fellow inmate is a force of nature.

Young Frankenstein   Sun   16/8   BBC1 @ 00.15

The grandson of an infamous scientist inherits his castle and goes to Transylvania to find out for himself what type of experiments his relative took part in. Mel Brook's parody of 1930's horror films is a classic of comedy. Both affectionate of it's source material and more than willing to rip the piss out of it too. It's hilarious. Gene Wilder, Madeleine Kahn, Peter Boyle, Cloris Leachman and Marty Feldman are all at the top of their game here. SEDAGIVE!

Key Largo   Sun   16/8   RTE1 @ 15.45

Crime drama par excellence time. A war veteran arrives in the Florida Keys to visit the family of a dead comrade and finds that all is not well in the hotel they run. John Huston's 1948 thriller is an absolute cracker of a watch. Tense as hell, action packed stuff that's full of the superstars of the era including Humphrey Bogart as the lead, Lauren Bacall, Lionel Barrymore and the fantastic Edward G.Robinson.

Quartet   Sun   16/8   BBC1 @ 22.30

A lovely comedy drama set in a rest home for retired musicians. The residents are preparing their yearly show when a new arrival shakes up the status quo and brings unrest to their routine. The always brilliant Maggie Smith takes the lead in this amusing and poignant film with great turns from Billy Connolly, Tom Courtenay and Pauline Collins. Tbh I expected to hate this at first but fell for it big time

Emelie   Sun   16/8   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

Emelie's a different kind of babysitter and the Thompson's find out just how different she is when they hire her to look after their kids so they can celebrate their wedding anniversary. This warped little thriller doesn't exactly nail it's ending but there's plenty here to keep you watching, especially a memorable turn from Ireland's own Sarah Bolger as the titular character. You'll never let your kids out of your sight after this one.

Three Godfathers   Mon   17/8   TCM @ 07.30

Three cattle rustlers on the run across a desert come across a pregnant woman who dies in childbirth. They decide to do their best to bring her child to safety. This 1948 John Ford film is a western take on the tale of the three wise men and a satisfying one at that. John Wayne as Robert Marmaduke Sangster Hightower ( what a name ) gives his usual entertaining performance that suits this film perfectly. A heartwarming watch.

We Own The Night   Mon   17/8 Sony Movies @ 22.00

Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. 1988. Two brothers on either side of the law find their lives changed for the worse by their dealings with the Russian mafia. James Mangold's crime drama is in my opinion one of the most underrated crime dramas of this century. A nail biting thriller and an intense family tale and all based on an (almost unbelievably) true story. Mark Wahlberg, Joaquin Phoenix, Robert Duvall and Eva Mendes are firing on all cylinders here.

Belle   Tues   18/8   Film4 @ 18.55

Dido Elizabeth Belle was a young woman growing up in 18th century England. She was the daughter of a navy captain. She was also mixed race. Her family standing helped but the colour of her skin caused no end of trouble for her. Gugu Mbatha-Raw is excellent in a well made film about the loneliness and alienation caused by being different. Tom Wilkinson, Emily Watson and Matthew Goode offer nice support.

Starry Eyes   Wed   19/8   The Horror Channel @ 02.40

A young aspiring actress in Hollywood is willing to go to any lengths to ensure she becomes a star of the silver screen. Any lengths..... A dark and twisted cautionary tale about the dangers of ambition and greed. It's also a pretty damn effective horror film that will probably leave you scarred and nauseous when the credits roll so be warned. It's nasty stuff. Alex Esso in the lead does well and is someone to look out for in the future.

Sexy Beast   Wed   19/8   Film4 @ 22.50

Gal is living his best life in the south of Spain. He's sunbaked and happy as a clam. Until the day he finds out his gangster ex partner Don is coming to recruit him for a job. Don is not a nice man. This is a hell of a watch, hilarious and terrifying and sometimes both at once. It contains a Ben Kingsley performance that has to be seen to be believed, it's truly out of this world. Ray Winston as Gal ain't too bad either.

August, Osage County   Thur   20/8   CH4 @ 02.20

Tensions are running high in the Weston family when sickness and tragedy brings a group of alienated sisters back together again to care for their mother. Things get spicy. Misery is so prevalent in this film that parts of it feel like parody but a tour de force display of acting from an outstanding cast will keep you glued til the end credits. Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Chris Cooper & Margo Martindale amongst many others do exemplary work.

Rogue   Fri   21/8   The Horror Channel @ 02.30

A group of tourists on a boat trip in Northern Australia find themselves trapped on a small island when they are attacked by a massive crocodile. And the tide is rising. Of course it is. A well made, frightening thriller made believable by some effective creature effects and a nice cast that includes Radha Mitchell, Sam Worthington and Michael Vartan. Greg McLean's follow up to Wolf Creek isn't as flat out scary as his debut but its a lot more enjoyable.

No Escape   Fri   RTE1 @ 22.15

Things are looking up for their future when work brings Jack and Annie and their kids to South East Asia. But their new life is soon turned upside down when a brutal political coup breaks out all around them. Yes, it's kind of problematic in places but it's still a genuinely nerve wracking thriller that you'll watch from behind your pillow. Owen Wilson, Lake Bell and Pierce Brosnan as an ex-mercenary they meet along the way, all put in a good shift.

The Lost Boys   Fri   21/8   BBC1 @ 22.45

A family moves to a nice beach town to start a new life and finds the place has a far darker side than they could have imagined. This film is as 80's as they come and it's one that is still a delightful watch three decades years later. A scary, gooey, funny and imaginative take on a tale as old as cinema. The 80's vibe continues with a cast that includes both Corey's Haim & Feldman, Dianne Wiest, Jamie Gertz & Jason Patric but Kiefer Sutherland robs the film from all of them with a star making role

Video Nasties Rewatch part 4 - A Bay of Blood

The 4th nasty on the list is one of the oldest and one of the best. A cleverly plotted murder mystery from horror maestro Mario Bava that's still influencing cinema nearly 50 years after it's release. It's one of very few on the list that would still be remembered today even if it hadn't been banned because without it bodycount slasher movies like Friday The 13th and ultimately the Scream series mightn't even exist and if they did they'd probably feel radically different. And it's not even the whole movie they rip off, just one segment that could have easily been lifted out without adversely effecting the film at all.

Which does not say much for slasher films does it.

A Bay Of Blood starts on a grim note with the murder of a wheelchair bound old woman by her husband who's then himself stabbed to bits by someone unknown. The mansion they live in and the right to own it is the motive for the murder. Numerous people want it and all are willing to kill for it. Heads are lopped off, bodies are skewered, faces are bisected, throats are ripped asunder and ultimately everyone gets what's coming to them because everyone here is contemptible and in the final twisted moments you'll see karma's a very big thing in Bava's world.

This was a thoroughly enjoyable rewatch and it was a lot more clever than I remembered. The films it's influenced seem simplistic in comparision because there's no single murderer like Jason Voorhees or Ghostface here, nope, everyone is in on the act here and even better is the fact that some of the murders are kinda justified from a revenge point of view. Now, did it deserve it's notoriety though? Looking at it through modern day sensibilities not really because it's lacking that transgressive edge plenty of the other nasties revelled in and while it is graphically violent it doesn't wallow in its gore. That said there are a couple of scenes here you know caused all the hassle. The murder of a couple in bed who are skewered together by a spear (ripped off totally by Friday the 13th part 2) has that mix of sex and violence that the BBFC have always had issues with. The teenager who gets his mush parted by a well aimed billhook (yet again ripped off by F13 part 2) is still a very effective scene due to some convincing effects by make up wunderkind Carlo Rambaldi ( the man who helped create ET by the way) and if that moment still works in 2020 you can only imagine the ructions it caused when it was being watched by the censorship board in 1984.

Then there's the end. An ironic post script that shows the futility of everything that came before it. The fact that there's kids involved must have really rattled some cages. It's a scene that would be played for dark laughs now but during that media frenzy of the early 80's it may have been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Some thoughts on the movie.

Unlike most other nasties there's recognisable faces here. Claudine Auger and Luigi Pastilli are two well known faces of Italian cinema but their biggest hits are the Bond film, Thunderball where she played Domino and The Good, The Bad And The Ugly where he played the priest Pablo, brother of Tuco.

Christopher Lee, who had starred in Bava movies in the past, went to the premiere of this and walked out in disgust. Now if that isn't a sign of a successful horror well then I don't know what is.

I love the fact that an entire horror franchise was based on a 10 minute segment from this. A segment that has everything the Friday The 13th series was built on. Stupid young people wandering off by themselves into the woods, terrible tunes, gratuitous nudity and eventually each and everyone one being picked off in visceral ways.

Plus they appear in a Dune buggy. A nod to the Manson murders from 2 years before maybe? It's hard to ignore the connection when a vehicle feels so out of place.

The octopus scene. A disgusting piece of imagery that definitely inspired some of the nightmarish sequences in 2019's The Lighthouse. There's no way that's a coincidence.

A Bay Of Blood is really worth a watch if you are in any way interested in horror, if only to see the genesis of so many 80's films and franchises. But it stands on it own as well, with clever storytelling and a genuinely unpredictable plot. It's one of the better video nasty experiences you'll have. Believe me.

Next up. The Beast In Heat. This one is repugnant.

Revisiting isn't always a good thing

Michael Mann. Some people love his films and some hate them, especially these two, Blackagt and Public Enemies. These felt experimental, all over the shoulder camera angles, absurd close ups that fill the screen and grainy digital photography that's so foggy it's hard to make out anything in dark scenes. It's like he took the style he perfected in Miami Vice and upped it to the nth degree for these to the detriment of everything else. It had been years since I watched them and over the last few months I'd heard stories of people re-evaluating them and realising them were better than they first seemed. I'm always willing to give films another go and when i saw them cheap in Dealz I thought now's my chance.




Nope. I still hate them.

Fucking Dealz. Enabling stupid decisions.

The perfect summer night watch

It's too warm to think.

It's too warm to lie down.

It's too warm to go for a walk.

It's too warm to spel corectle.

It's too warm to concentrate on a film that requires anything more than 3 brain cells.

Hence.

The perfect summer night watch.

Perfect 10

The scenery is bucolic. The sky is blue and the grass is green. The sound of laughter fills the air and sibling rivalry fills the screen. A brother and sister race through a field. It's a scene that portrays one of those perfect little moments dotting your younger years that you'll remember for ever. And it's a scene in her debut feature length movie that shows director Eva Riley is going to be a force to be reckoned with.

Leigh (Frankie Box) is a deeply unhappy young girl. She's grieving for her mother, she's an afterthought in her father's life and she's being bullied by other girls in the club where she does her gymnastics. Her coach has taken her under her wing and it's something that only deepens the other girls animosity towards her. One day in her father's house a stranger appears who turns out to be a brother she never knew she had. Joe (Alfie Deegan) is a teenage tearaway, involved with a gang of motorbike thieves but at least he's interested in getting to know his younger sister. Initially Leigh is resistant but soon he lets her into his circle of friends and she begins to really find her place in the world.

This is one of those unassuming little films that you'll be thinking about for days if not weeks after. It's a low stakes, un-showy story that eschews overt, unnecessary drama but within minutes it will be under your skin and you'll find its 80 minute running time passing by way, way too quickly. In her debut role Frankie Box just nails the part of Leigh with an effortless performance that never once feels like acting. If you, like me, were one of those teenagers who felt like they never fit in anywhere this will strike a chord with you. Leigh always feels like she's at the edge of every group, never really wanted, and willing to do stupid, dangerous things to for the opportunity to be a part, any part of a friendship. But behind it all, behind her pain and grief you can sense her strength, the resilience hiding just out of sight and it's a joy watching her succeed, even when it's to her detriment.

Perfect 10 may remind you of Andrea Arnold's 2016 masterpiece American Honey with it's story line of a lost, alienated teen clamouring to find her own path, and just like American Honey it's led by a stunning debut turn but Riley is a director smart enough to make the film her own, painting it in warm tones and giving it an air of anything can happen. Alfie Deegan as Joe gives the whole thing an edge, an unpredictability that means you can't relax and his relationship with his new found sister is constantly in flux leaving you wondering how the film will end. Will it be on a happy note, something you'll genuinely want for Leigh or something else entirely when things take a dangerous feeling turn near the end.

This is out now to stream on google movies. It's a story about inner strength that's really worth your time. Oh and the perfect 10 of the title? Does Leigh and her gymnastic skills deserve it? You be the judge of that.

Video Nasties Rewatch parts 2 & 3 - Anthropophagus & Axe

These two installments are so godawful that i needed to get them out of the way fast. One thing a lot of the nasties have in common is poor pacing and jesus these two have that problem in spades. They're mindnumbingly dull too. Horror films should never ever be dull. It's against the law actually.

Anthropophagus is the story of a group of tourists on a deserted Greek island who fall afoul of a cannibalistic murderer. One of whom is Tisa Farrow by the way. Sister of Mia and one of the few actors who's been in both a dreadful nasty (this) and a brilliant one (Zombie Flesh Eaters).

Axe is the story of three criminals on the run who hold up in a farmhouse lived in by an unstable young woman. They mess with her. She messes back. Guess what tool she uses. Go on, guess. No one in this went on to have real acting career and rightly fucking so.

Anthropophagus is terribly boring despite containing perhaps the most infamous moment of all the nasties.

Axe is incredibly boring. A stunning achievement for a film that barely breaks the 60 minute mark.

Antrophophagus has at least an hour of assorted eurotrash cannon fodder running around an island before they get murdered.

Axe has 5 minutes (out of 67) of a woman washing her father's shoulders.

Both will make you look at yourself in the mirror and question the life choices that brought you to this place.

Both were banned in Britain in 1984.

A man holding his own guts. A very common occurrence in the nasties. And this actor too.

In the case of Anthropophagus I can see why.

In the case of Axe I assume whoever had to watch it for the DPP keeled over from boredom and someone else assumed it was from shock.

The scene that gave Anthropophagus it's notoriety is one of a cannibal pulling out a pregnant woman's fetus and eating it in front of her. It's blatantly fake but it's actually fucking disgusting. Disgusting enough to make it onto the BBC news and be called a snuff movie. C'mon ffs.

Axe......well.......nope, I'm at a loss as to why it was banned. The blood spilled looks like McDonald's curry ketchup and the vast majority of it's violence is either offscreen or implied. There's been episodes of Home And Away that were harder hitting.

They both have decent music though. Creepily effective.

Maybe that's why they were banned???

The music was too powerful???!!

Maybe it was the haircuts?? Afros and perms are dangerous dontchaknow.

I'm going mad Ted. 3 films in and I'm losing the will to live.

36 left.

Shit.

Next up A Bay Of Blood from Mario Bava. This one is good.

The Tax Collector

Shia LaBeouf was on such a good run. American Honey, an honest to god masterpiece. Borg Vs McEnroe. The Peanut Butter Falcon and Honey Boy, a 2019 one-two that anyone would be proud of, banishing memories of those horrible Transformers sequels. His legal troubles looked to be over. He seemed more comfortable in his own skin in interviews. Then he went and played a chicano gangster in David Ayer's new film and well........

David (Bobby Soto) is a man living a double life. To his wife Alexis (Cinthya Carmona) he's a hard working, loving husband and a great father to his kids. What she doesn't know is his job is to collect protection payments from Latino gangs to allow them to operate on his boss Wizard's turf. If payment isn't prompt and accurate there is death and destruction courtesy of David's co-worker Creeper (LaBeouf). In the run up to his daughter's Quinceañera things are running smoothly until an outside presence makes itself known and David's life gets turned upside down.

This film was dire. An ugly watch, filled with ugly violence and uglier stereotypes. David Ayer has built a career on ugliness and here he's reached his nadir. It's boring, messy and it takes cliches that seemed old hat almost 30 years ago in American Me & Blood In, Blood Out and doubles down on them before splashing it all with almost unwatchable brutality in an attempt to keep things up to date. It paints Los Angeles, a vibrant, melting pot of a city as a hellscape filled with black and brown faces who only exist to rob, maim and kill. It's lead, David is so devoid of anything approaching a personality that you have no one to hook you into the story, nothing to hope for. Late in the story his kids are in peril and you just won't care what happens to them. When a film can't even make you care about kids it's on a hiding to nothing. Ayer wants us to give a fuck about him, and throughout he's called a good man, an honourable one, a "candle in the darkness" but when you have a lead character who holds someone out of a moving car, grinds half their face off on the asphalt as an interrogation and then shoots them in the head, empathy/sympathy is a long shot.

Then there's LaBeouf as Creeper, the sidekick, Mr Intense. The hombre played by the gringo. Yup. You'd assume the days of a minority character being played by a white actor are over but here it is again, large as life and twice as cringey and because David is such a void you can't ignore Creeper or the painfully non-existent chemistry between two characters who constantly compare themselves to brothers. It's a laughable turn from a usually reliable actor. LaBeouf got so into character for this that he actually got a full chest tattoo and you get the feeling he's going to be scarlet looking into mirrors for the foreseeable future. In a career marked by edgy choices this one is just wrong wrong wrong.

I hated this film. It's a sludge of casual racism, toxic machismo and overwrought gore. Ayer wrote Training Day almost 20 years ago and what seemed fresh then seems terribly trite now having been recycled over and over again in his other films Harsh Times, Street Kings, End Of Watch and Bright. Do yourself a favour. Ignore this one. Pretend it didn't happen. Watch LaBeouf in The Peanut Butter Falcon instead. You'll get far more out of it.

Oh and it's streaming online now if you hate yourself.

16 films chosen just for you this week

Battle Of The Sexes   Sat   8/8   CH4 @ 21.00

The eternal question. Who's better? Men or women? Watch this and find out. It's 1973 and there's about to be a tennis match between world number one Billie Jean King and ex champ Bobby Riggs that will answer all. An intriguing watch that will make you laugh and then anger you with it's depiction of the double standards, sexism and misogyny that was...and still is endemic in sport. Emma Stone and Steve Carell do great work as the leads.

The Revenant   Sat   8/8   BBC2 @ 21.00

In 1823 a hunter named Hugh Glass was left for dead after both a bear attack and a bitter betrayal by a fellow hunter. Somehow he manages to survive and he wants revenge. A ferocious film that's a genuine experience to watch. This is not a movie for the faint of heart but it's magnificent nonetheless. Leonardo DiCaprio, Domhnall Gleeson, Will Poulter and Tom Hardy are all outstanding. The kind of film high definition was created for.

A Mighty Wind   Sat   8/8   TG4 @ 23.05

Irving Steinbloom has passed on and to commemorate his life his son creates a festival and invites all his favourite musicians to play. If only things were so simple though. This mockumentary from the creators of This Is Spinal Tap is a far more charming affair than it's predecessor but it's easily as funny too and built around an amazing cast playing some wicked parts. Parker Posey, Catherine O'Hara and Eugene Levy excel here. 

The Hallow   Sun   9/8   Film4 @ 01.15

A new family moves into a remote Irish village that's surrounded by woods. And in those woods lurks......well you're just going to have to see that for yourselves. A disturbing but very interesting Irish take on the horror genre that's sprinkled with more than a bit of Celtic mysticism. It starts off slow but you'll have no fingernails by the end. Joseph Mawle and Bojana Novakovic are effective in the lead roles.

Pitch Black   Sun   9/8   Syfy @ 21.00

A transport ship crashes on a barren desert planet. Onboard is a murderer. The survivors are busy worrying about him and finding water and little do they realise at nightfall that their problems are just beginning. This 20 year old Vin Diesel starring sci-fi horror is still an effective watch. A full on nail biter filled with characters you'll actually give a damn about played by reliable faces including Radha Mitchell, Keith David and Cole Hauser.

The Stanford Prison Experiment   Sun   9/8   ITV4 @ 21.55

California. The early 70's. 24 university students take part in an experiment. Some are prisoners. Some are prison guards. Some take it all very very seriously. Yes I know it's based on a story that's been debunked these days but this is an intense and unsettling look at the privilege that comes with the smallest bit of power. A fine cast is populated by early turns from loads of up and comers like Ezra Miller, Thomas Mann and Tye Sheridan.

Grandma  Mon   10/8   CH4 @ 02.35

A teenage girl called Sage finds herself in a wee spot bother and the only person she can turn to is her granny Elle. Family issues make it all very awkward when they try to raise the money Sage needs. This starts off light and funny before leaving you shaken and dazed. Lily Tomlin as Elle is amazing in the part and gets to display the kind of range that most actors can only dream of. A heartfelt and very topical watch.

Land Of The Dead   Mon   10/8   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

Pittsburgh has become a walled city during a zombie apocalypse and it's inhabitants are facing crises both internal and external. George A. Romero's follow up to his famous Living Dead trilogy mightn't reach the heady peaks of those masterpieces but it's an entertaining and knowing piece of hokum and filled with lovingly crafted gooey treats for the horror fans amongst you. Asia Argento, John Leguizamo and Dennis Hopper lead an eclectic cast.

Tangerine   Tues   11/8   Film4 @ 01.45

Sin-Dee Rella is a trans escort on a mission. She's just out of a month in county jail and has found out her fella has been cheating on her. She sets off across Los Angeles to find him. Sean Baker's 2015 film is a mesmerising watch shot entirely on iphones. It could have been dark but it's a unique, lovely, funny and compelling watch that you'll lose yourself in, in no time. Kitana Kiki Rodriguez as Sin-Dee is just brilliant.

Murder Most Foul   Tues   11/8   TCM @ 13.30

After she causes a mistrial in a murder case due to disagreeing with the rest of the jury, Miss Marple joins a local theatre group to snare the person whom she thinks it the real culprit. A great whodunnit, funny and well made with a lovely story. You can't beat a Miss Marple film, they are just pure comfort food for the eyes. Margaret Rutherford as always is excellent in the lead role with a who's who of British faces in support.

The Town   Tues   11/8   RTE2 @ 21.30

Time for a really good Boston set crime drama with Ben Affleck and Rebecca Hall. A bank robber tries to go straight but circumstance and old acquaintances won't let him. Affleck acts and directs with skill, is supported by a decent cast that includes Blake Lively and Jeremy Renner and it's a story full of tense, well shot action set pieces. If your TV has a subtitles option turn it on because the Southie accent is a tough one to follow.

Nebraska   Wed   12/8   Film4 @ 01.35

A father and son called Woody and David are taking a trip from Montana to Nebraska to claim a prize. Woody is slowly losing his memory to dementia and David is dragged into the mess created along the way. Alexander Payne's comedy drama is a beautifully written and crafted look at the complexities of family relationships. Plus it has a couple of wicked belly laughs hidden away. Bruce Dern, Will Forte and especially June Squibb are all on fire.

Ghostbusters   Wed   12/8   RTE1 @ 21.35

New York City is under siege. BY GHOSTS!!! Three scientists and a subway worker come together to fight the forces of darkness. Things get slimy and there's a surprising lack of wontons too. Sad internet fanboys shrieked when it was announced this reboot would be female led and shrieked even louder when it turned out to be a scary and hilarious treat. Kristin Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones and Melissa McCarthy all add to the joy.

Her   Thur   13/8   CH4 @ 01.55

Theodore has fallen in love with Samantha. There's a bit of a problem though because he's a man and well.... Samantha's an operating system. Siri you say? Spike Jonze's blend of science fiction and romantic comedy is a surprisingly tender and intimate watch and not half as odd as it sounds due to a couple of mighty turns from Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlet Johansson. Give it a go, it just might make you swoon.

The Damned United   Thur   13/8   BBC4 @ 21.00

A biopic of the football manager Brian Clough covering his very short tenure as manager of Leeds United. Even if you aren't a footie fan you'll like this one. Clough makes for a very watchable lead character, a man who's ball of contradiction and who's always enjoyable to watch. Michael Sheen is superb in the lead role and the supporting cast is a who's who of well known British talent. Plus there's Colm Meaney who always delivers. 

Above Suspicion   Fri   14/8   TCM @ 07.00

Frances and Richard are a newly married couple and they're off to Europe on their honeymoon. There's no beaches and cocktails for them though, because they are also a pair of spies working for British intelligence. This is a lot lighter than it sounds, a funny and quite knowing movie with a nice line of suspense running through it to keep you fixed to the screen. Joan Crawford and Fred MacMurray are first rate leads and it's good to see Conrad Veidt play a just person for once.

An American Pickle

 

"Ben Greenbaum, owner of 25 pair of sock."

Sometimes it takes a 130 year old Eastern European Jewish fella to remind you that in a time of excess we've forgotten the things that really and truly matter.

Herschel (Seth Rogen) and Sarah Greenbaum (Sarah Snook) have been driven out of Schlupsk by the Cossacks and their tendency to decimate any village that gets in their way. They arrive in New York City in 1920 and Herschel gets a job in a pickle factory in Brooklyn. Tragedy soon strikes when he falls into a vat of pickle brine just as the factory closes after being condemned. 100 years later he wakes up, having been perfectly preserved by the salty liquid (don't ask, just go with it). He's a man out of time, alone in this baffling new world but eventually his one living relative is found. An app designer called Ben Greenbaum who just happens to look exactly like his newly discovered great grandfather. Will they get on? Can their values co-exist?

Seth Rogen is known for a lot of things. Saying fuck a lot. Dick jokes. Fart jokes. Drug jokes, especially drug jokes. There's a theme here. What he isn't known for is wholesome, heartfelt comedies but now it's another string he can add to his bow because American Pickle is just that. A moving and quite charming reminder of how important family is, how the stuff you fill your life with is just stuff and how easy it is to forget where you came from. It's a look at today's social mores through the eyes of a total outsider, someone who couldn't possibly understand them and as such it shows just how silly we've become but also just how far we've come. Just look at the changes, both social and technical, throughout the 20th century. We knwing what we know now could cope with a jump from 2020 to 2120. But 1920 to 2020? You might as well be talking about 10000 years.

About halfway through An American Pickle Herschel gets his first taste of social media and his unfiltered and painfully outdated views cause an absolute shitstorm and yet things work out for him, people cling to the ignorant bigotry in his words and his star rises. Like many things in this film (brine preservation for one) it seems too stupid to be true and then you remember "Oh wait a minute this has happened, this is happening....this is happening with the most powerful man in the western world" and it's here you realise that An American Pickle is a lot smarter than it looks. The trailer made it look like all out zaniness but it's a film that has a brain and a heart to go along with it's comedy. Watching Herschel come to terms with his losses is affecting, especially when he gets hold of a photo album containing pictures of family he'll never meet while at the same time Ben struggles with the idea that he's a disappointment to those who came before him. Rogen sells it perfectly. On both sides. The smartarsery he's known best for is tucked away to one side and we get to see him do some genuine, honest to god thesping and guess what, he does a fine job of it.

There's plenty of humour here too though, don't worry, with Herschel's big beard, century old clothes ("Are those clothes vintage"?) and pickle knowledge becoming a big hit with the hipster community of Brooklyn's Williamsburg district. Herschel's brusque manner of fact-ness is mined to great effect too with him promising to dole out "great violence" on anyone who gets in his face and actually making good on his promise in one joyfully choreographed cemetery scrap. If Rogen ever decides to do something more action orientated (Green Lantern? Huh? What?) , he mightn't be half bad at it. Between this and last years The Long Shot he seems to be maturing as an actor and stretching himself and I for one am enjoying the results.

An American Pickle is streaming online now. It's a lovely, silly, wholesome way to spend 90 minutes of your time.

Unhinged

There's an act of violence late in Unhinged that will make you simultaneously want to vomit and cheer. One that shall forever be known as Chekov's candycane. It's probably the most vicious thing you'll see onscreen in 2020 and probably the most satisfying thing too. It's blunt and brutal boot in the mush and a perfect metaphor for this shitshow of a year.

Unhinged. That's a good way to describe Russell Crowe in this 2020 take on the psycho thrillers of the early 90's. He's a terrifying, hulking presence who uses his physicality in a way that will make you rethink ever beeping your horn in traffic again. He plays Tom Cooper, a man who commits a double murder and an act of arson before the credits roll. Credits, remember those? Rachel Hunter (Caren Pistorious) is having a dreadful day even before she has the misfortune to encounter Tom and from then on her day turns nightmarish when he begins to stalk her through the streets of New Orleans like some all knowing four wheeled demon.

Yes. This was good, I liked it a lot. it's not exactly fun but man it's effective. It's a B-movie that knows it's a B-movie. There's no notions here, it's a horror movie in thriller clothing and one that will have you chewing the knuckles off yourself before delivering a climax that ticks all the boxes efficiently and viciously. Once it gets going it never stops, from that first oh no! to that last fuck yeah! it's a crowdpleaser but one that might be too violent for some. Are you an Always Sunny In Philadelphia fan? You might be traumatised, be forewarned. Remember the first Spielberg movie, Duel? There's shades of that here and it takes it's cues from the 1986 horror classic The Hitcher too but a likeable & believable turn from Caren Pistorious and a positively beastly one from Crowe gives Unhinged a personality all of its own. 

That said it is a silly film, replete with scenes of flaming bodies being chucked at cops and final destination style motor way pile ups but it owns it's silliness, revels in it even and it's never not watchable even when Crowe goes full Pacino ham. Watching him tearing down the highway, bleeding up a storm and sneering down a phone is a memorable image. Seeing an A List actor being so unapologetically nasty is always a joy and he makes no attempt to blunt the edges of Tom. He's a bastard who'll always take the most violent way out of any situation. Watching Rachel deal with what life is throwing at her is pleasing too. From stressed out mother in the morning to full on bad motherfucker in the afternoon, her half day arc is gratifying to watch and Pistorious, like Crowe, commits fully to the premise.

The opening credits hint at a reasoning behind Tom's madness and kinda sorta blames Rachel for getting herself into her perilous situation but other than that and one or two snatches of chatter on tvs and radios there's no real attempt at depth or reasoning and tbh the film is all the better for it. It's an unpretentious thrill ride powered by a ferocious turn from Crowe who time this 20 years ago was playing Hollywood hero for the summer. I don't know about you but gimme a down and dirty watch like this anytime.

Unhinged is in cinemas now. 90 minutes of menace that's worth your time.