15 films on TV this week to absorb into your eyeballs

Prince Of Darkness   Sat  18/6   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

Strangeness abounds in the basement of a Los Angeles church when a priest, a professor and a bunch of his students investigate something supernatural that's been found there. Danger lies within and soon enough outside too. John Carpenter's 1987 horror isn't one of his best but there's a whole lot of chaotic fun to be had here along with some really bizarre imagery. Donald Pleasance leads a game cast.

Ready Or Not   Sat   18/6   Film4 @ 23.40

Grace is about to be married to Alex, a member of the wildly wealthy Le Domas family, a rich, seemingly normal family. She gets invited to their estate to meet them and discovers they... well they are odder than she thought. A brilliantly enjoyable horror comedy from 2019 that earns it's 18 certificate with ease. Ready Or Not is one to go into cold so just lie back and enjoy the madness. Samara Weaving, Andy McDowell and Henry Czerny all add nicely to the mix.

Ghosts Of Mississippi   Sun   19/6   RTE1 @ 00.40

In 1963 Medgar Evers was fatally shot in the back by a white supremacist called Byron De La Beckwith. It being the deep south the murderer was found not guilty but Medgar's widow Myrlie wasn't giving up on justice. This true life tale is a harsh watch with James Woods very convincing (cough) as a hate filled bigot. Alec Baldwin leads the film as a prosecutor but it's Whoopi Goldberg's poignant turn as Myrlie that will stay with you.

Philomena   Sun   19/6   BBC1 @ 22.30

A woman searching for her long lost son hires a journalist to help her take on the might of the catholic church who forced her, as a teen, to give up her child. A heartbreaking true story about corruption and motherly love with an immense performance from Judi Dench in the title role. An upsetting, angry and poignant watch that still finds time for a touch of some much needed laughter amongst the rage.

Like Father, Like Son   Mon   20/6   Film4 @ 01.30

Ryōta , a Japanese architect, loves his job. So much so he's neglecting his wife and son, a son that he's about to find something out about that will change his family's life for good. A profound mediation on family and love and the invisible ties that bind us all and also an insight into the sides of Japanese culture that western audiences may be baffled by. Masaharu Fukuyama and Machiko Ono are strong leads.

Boy Erased   Mon   20/6   TG4 @ 21.30

Jared's a gay college student who just wants to be happy but living in the deep south and having a religious family makes it impossible, especially when he's sent to a conversion therapy camp. You'll probably finish this film in a vile mood but it's an important look at the horrors of fundamentalism and homophobia. Russell Crowe as Jared's father is a bit pantomime but Lucas Hedges and Nicole Kidman will break your heart.

The Bank Job   Tue   21/6   Great! Movies @ 21.00

Jason Statham. In a polo neck. In the 1960's. And he's called Terry Leather. Bank Robberies. Cups of tea. Royal porn. Toyah from Coronation Street. More cups of tea. Ham radio. A fun and tense thriller about a bank robbery in swinging 60's London and the chaos that hits in it's wake. A different type of Jason Statham film but well worth a watch. Did I mention he's called Terry Leather. Best name ever.

The Place Beyond The Pines   Tue   21/6   BBC2 @ 23.15

The existences of four men crash together in a small town tale of crime and corruption. Set over fifteen years it's a tale about the cyclical nature of life and how acts of violence have effects that take a long time to fade away. It's top flight cast includes Ryan Gosling, Mahershala Ali, Bradley Cooper, Eva Mendez and Ray Liotta who are all on mighty form. A long but gripping watch that feels like a mini series condensed into movie form. But in a good way.

The Exorcist III   Wed   22/6   The Horror Channel @ 22.55

Washington DC is being terrorised by a series of unsolved murders that are similar to the work of a dead man. An obsessed cop is on the trail and the clues are leading him to a psychiatric hospital where a different kind of patient is waiting. The second sequel to the 1973 classic is a messy affair but it's a genuinely scary and unsettling watch too. Plus it has THE best jump scare of all time. George C. Scott and Brad Dourif are a wicked pair of leads.

Honey Boy   Wed   22/6   Film4 @ 23.20

It's 1995. Otis Lort is a child actor who's star is on the rise. His father James is his manager but he's jealous of his son's success and he's a self destructive mess. Will Otis get eaten up by the twin influences in his life? A veiled biopic of star Shia LaBeouf's (he plays his father here) life. It's a tough going and eye opening look at the Hollywood machine and how it devours all that come in contact with it. LaBeouf and young Noah Jupe do powerful work as father and son.

Hell Drivers   Thu   23/6   Talking Pictures TV @ 16.30

An ex-con wants to leave crime behind so takes a job with a trucking company but it's dangerous work methods and bullying colleagues leave him wondering what exactly is the company agenda. A solid slice of British film noir from 1957 that packs it's lean running time with plenty of suspense, action and memorable characters courtesy of Stanley Baker, Patrick McGoohan, Herbert Lom and a young Sean Connery.

The African Queen   Thu   23/6   BBC4 @ 21.00

Rose is a missionary in Africa during the Great War. Her supplies are delivered by the rough and ready Charlie. Violence encroaches on her misson and she has to leave with Charlie. The pair are like chalk and cheese. And now they are alone on a boat. John Huston's 1951 comedy drama is still a highly entertaining affair. You know how it will end but all the fun here is in the journey and Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart are a great pair to spend time with.

The Thing   Thu   23/6   The Horror Channel @ 22.00

The men of a research station in Antarctica find things getting very creepy when a huskie arrives at their camp followed by the chopper that's been chasing it. John Carpenter's scifi/horror is a masterpiece of tension, paranoia and amazing practical special effects that 40 years later still put CGI to shame. Kurt Russell, Keith David, Donald Moffat and Wilford Brimley lead a cast that's second to none.

When Harry Met Sally   Fri   24/6   BBC1 @ 22.40

Harry and Sally have been friends forever. They chat first thing in the AM and last thing in the PM. They'd be fantastic together. Their friends think so. But they claim they can just be friends without other nonsense getting in the way. Rob Reiner's comedy drama is a classic. Endlessly amusing and quotable and full of moments you'll know even if you're new to the film. Meg Ryan, Billy Crystal, Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby are all superb.

Red Heat   Fri   24/6   Film4 @ 23.45

West and East clash in midtown Chicago when a cop-killing Russian mobster is hunted down by a hulking Moscow military agent and the wisecracking yank policeman he's teamed up with. Walter Hill's 1988 comedy thriller just nails that sweet spot of fun and crunching violence. James Belushi will annoy you but Arnold Schwarzeneggar does his usual thing wonderfully. Plus Ed O'Ross's bad guy is perfectly vicious.

15 films to enjoy on TV this week

The Fog   Sat   11/6   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

Director John Carpenter is in wicked form with a genuinely spooky and scary tale of ghostly pirates taking their revenge on a seaside town that let them down many years before. His 1980 horror has a lovely old fashioned feel with violence and gore kept to a minimum and atmosphere and creepiness ruling the roost. Horror legends Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrienne Barbeau, Janet Leigh and Tom Atkins all hit their mark in a genre classic.

21 Bridges   Sat   11/6   BBC1 @ 22.20

Five cops have just been viciously gunned down by two armed robbers and the full force of the NYPD is out to get them. Leading the fight back is Andre Davis who shuts down every way in and way out of Manhattan. You've seen everything here before but when it's this slick and well put together you won't really mind. Crunchy, fast moving saturday night fare powered by a strong turn from the late and much missed Chadwick Boseman.

Parked   Sun   12/6   RTE1 @ 01.00

After years away a man named Fred returns to Dublin and finds himself in financial trouble and living out of his car. Things are looking bad until he makes a new friend. Colm Meaney is, as always, on fire in a story of the recession and what it did to the normal people of Ireland. Dark and grim in some places, hilarious in others and well worth your time. There's fine support from Colin Morgan too.

Akeelah And The Bee   Sun   12/6   Film4 @ 12.50

Akeelah's a young girl from Los Angeles who's getting in trouble in school a lot lately but a propensity for spelling might just be what she needs to get back on the right track. Imagine the Karate kid but with spelling competitions and you'll get what this lovely and humane drama from 2006 is all about. It's a feel good film but one that isn't afraid to shine a light on systemic racism. Keke Palmer, Laurence Fishburne and Angela Bassett all do nice work.

Vertigo   Sun   12/6   RTE1 @ 13.40

An intense story of obsession sees a detective hired to investigate a woman who he soon becomes consumed by. One of Alfred Hitchcock's many masterworks and maybe even the best of them. It's wonderfully brought to life by Kim Novak & James Stewart with assured direction from the man himself and a plot full of complexity and twists and turns. 13.40 is an odd time for it though, Vertigo's a film for a dark evening with a glass of something strong.

The Desperate Hours   Mon   13/6   Talking Pictures TV @ 02.00

Three scumbags are on the run following a prison break and they hold up in a house belonging to the Hilliard family while they wait for the next part of their plan to arrive. 67 years old and it's still a nail bitingly suspenseful story due to a hateful and unpredictable turn from a sweaty and nervous Humphrey Bogart. A movie that will leave you thinking about what you'd do for your family in the same situation. So much better than the 90's remake.

Speed   Mon   13/6   ITV4 @ 21.00

There's a bomb on a bus. If the bus goes over 50 mph it arms. If it goes under 50 mph it goes boom. Only one man can stop it. 28 years after it was released Speed still rocks. Tense, crunchy, surprisingly funny, full of characters you'll actually give a damn about, a cool bad guy turn from Dennis Hopper and the heroic duo of Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. It's a perfect summer action flick.

Silence   Mon   13/6   BBC2 @ 23.15

Two young Jesuit priests, Sebastião and Francisco, are sent to 17th century Japan to find Father Ferreira, who has renounced his faith. In Edo-era Japan though, their kind are far from welcome. Martin Scorsese's 2016 drama will definitely not be for everyone but it's a rewarding watch, if you can take it's pace. Andrew Garfield is so good as a man struggling against all odds to hold on to everything he believes in.

Romy And Michelle's High School Reunion   Tues   14/6   Great! Movies @ 21.00

Romy and Michelle. Inseparable. Best friends forever. They are off to their 10 year high school reunion and once again their quirkiness is catching the eyes of the mean girls who made their educational experience so miserable. They have a plan though. A really likable comedy, infectiously goofy and silly and propelled by Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino and the brilliant chemistry bubbling between them.

Winchester '73   Tues   14/6   Film4 @ 17.10

The first and one of the best of a series of westerns James Stewart made with director Anthony Mann. Stewart stars as a sharpshooter who's gun is robbed from him and passes through many people's hands during the course of the next few years. A well crafted, perfectly paced and exciting film with a final shootout that is still influencing films today. Watch out for and cringe when you see a young Rock Hudson as a native American....

The Seventh Voyage Of Sinbad   Wed   15/6   The Horror Channel @ 12.00

Sinbad and his gang of sailors are on a quest to help a princess cursed by an evil wizard and their seventh voyage is about to be a memorable one. For all the wrong reasons. Here's a classic slice of cinema to bring your right back to your childhood, packed with brilliant monstrous creations from Ray Harryhausen, the master of special effects. The story is slight, the acting is slighter but the imagination on display here is through the roof.

The Colour Purple   Thu   16/6   BBC4 @ 21.00

Celie Johnson has grown up hard in the deep south of the early 20th century. First abused by her father and then her husband, she's lost all sense of self and family and it's only when she meets a singer called Shug does life begin to make sense. Steven Spielberg's 1985 drama is a harsh and painful look at the horrors of patriarchy that really makes you earn the film's powerful ending. Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey and Danny Glover are mighty in their roles.

Concrete Plans   Thu   16/6   Film4 @ 23.20

A group of builders renovating a Welsh farmhouse find themselves in bother when matters of finance and jealousy clash and bubble over. Just like concrete itself this is a solid blend, but instead of sand, gravel and cement, it's Straw Dogs, Emmerdale and Blood Simple.  An intense and brooding tale with better than usual characterisation and fine performances from Steve Speirs, Chris Reilly and Goran Bogdan

Pineapple Express   Fri   17/6   Great! Movies @ 21.00

Pineapple Express, the name for the best weed in all of Los Angeles. Created by the government and loved by Dale Denton, a process server who witnesses a murder one night and who gets caught up in a dangerous and hazy conspiracy. If you are able for Seth Rogen you'll enjoy yourself here, there's some full on belly laughs, an unpredictable storyline and quite a bit of brutal violence. Gary Coleman, Rosie Perez, Danny McBride and Craig Robinson add fun support.

Once Upon A Time In The West   Fri   17/6   TG4 @ 22.20

A widowed woman, an almost hanged bandit and a man with a harmonica team up for revenge against a backdrop of the railroad construction era of America's wild west. If you haven't seen this Sergio Leone masterpiece I'm green with envy. If you have, here's an excuse to luxuriate in it again. It's excellent, the action, the music, the sweltering atmosphere, everything. Charles Bronson, Claudia Cardinale, Jason Robards and especially Henry Fonda all amaze.

15 films on TV this week you might like

Assault On Precinct 13   Sat   4/6   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

The LAPD has just come down heavily on the Street Thunder Gang. They want revenge. A father and his daughter are caught in the middle. Chaos ensues. John Carpenter's 1976 crime thriller might be a bit dated now but it's still a thrilling, nail biting movie that will definitely shock you if you haven't seen it before. Austin Stoker and Darwin Joston lead a mostly unknown cast in robust fashion.

Lullaby   Sat   4/6   BBC2 @ 21.00

Miriam has decided to return to work, a choice her husband isn't happy with. But she sticks to her guns and hires a nanny called Louise and well..... you'll just have to see. This 2019 French drama is a very watchable one but don't go into it expecting The Hand That Rocks The Cradle part deux. It's more intelligent and interesting than that and strong turns from Leïla Bekhti and Karin Viard keep things moving nicely.

Ford Vs Ferrari   Sat   4/6   RTE1 @ 21.25

Carroll Shelby and Ken Miles, designer and driver respectively of the Ford GT40, the car that will finally end Ferrari's superiority on the race track. Here's their story and it's as entertaining as Hollywood movies get, a film most viewers will enjoy even if they don't give a fig about the sport of car racing. Matt Damon, our own Caitriona Balfe, Christian Bale, Jon Bernthal, Tracey Letts, all are having fun here and that fun translates wonderfully to our screens.

The Cured   Sun   5/6   RTE2  @ 01.15

Dublin in the aftermath of a zombie plague is a strange place to live. It's even stranger for the zombies who have been cured because they can remember exactly who they killed and ate during their infection. It leads to some....issues. This 2017 Irish horror is a deadly twist on an old story. It's as bloody and gory as you'd expect but it's clever and subversive as well and a hefty cast including Tom Vaughn-Lawlor, Elliot Page and Sam Keeley do nice work.

Shenandoah   Sun   5/6   RTE1 @ 14.45

Charlie Anderson lives a quiet, peaceful and contented life on his Virginian farm with his six sons. The civil war soon encroaches, a conflict he wants no part of, but one he's forced into when his family get involved. A fine, handsomely mounted anti war western epic that takes it's time and nails it's ending. James Stewart leads a cast packed with dozens of faces you'll recognise from a hundred other westerns.

The Royal Tenenbaums   Sun   5/6   Great! Movies @ 23.05

Chas, Margot, and Richie Tenenbaum, three immensely gifted teenagers who succeeded wildly in whatever they tried. Nowadays they are three deeply broken adults, ruined by their father's actions. Wes Anderson's 2001 comedy drama is funnier than it sounds but there's also a vein of sadness and humanity running through it that will stay with you. It's also his last great film before he fell up his own backside. Owen Wilson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gene Hackman and Angelica Huston all nail their parts.

The Ground Beneath My Feet   Mon   6/6   Film4 @ 01.40

Lola has a laser focus on her job. She's a perfectionist and it transfers over to her personal life as well. Everything is ordered, everything is in it's right place. Everything except the secret she keeps about her family, a secret that's about to ruin her. Made in Austria in 2019, it is an intense one, a twisting, noir-ish, gripping and intelligently told story that lets a stellar turn from Valerie Pachner digs its claws into you.

The Silence Of The Lambs   Mon   6/6   TG4 @ 22.15

Women are being killed and an imprisoned murderer may have the answers and it's up to a fresh faced FBI trainee to figure out the clues he's giving her. Aspects of Jonathan Demme's multi Oscar winning psychological thriller/horror have dated badly but it still packs one hell of a punch. A suspenseful, vicious and darkly funny story powered by exceedingly effective turns from Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins.

Only The Brave   Tues   7/6   Film4 @ 18.25

Eric Marsh is the superintendent of an Arizona fire fighting crew and he's taking a chance on Brendan McDonough, a young man who's let drugs ruin his life. It's wildfire season and now Brendan really has to step up. A tough tale, based on a real life story, about the underpaid, under-resourced heroes who put their neck on the line to save people every day. Josh Brolin, Jennifer Connelly and Miles Teller do well leading a packed cast. 

The Brood   Wed   8/6   The Horror Channel @ 02.40

A psychiatrist is using some rather unorthodox techniques to help his patients deal with their issues and the parents of one patient are realising it's doing more harm than good. David Cronenberg's 1979 horror is absolutely bonkers and it's premise will be too much for some to swallow but if you go with it you'll have some horrible, uncomfortable squirmy fun. Oliver Reed brings his usual intensity to bear as the doctor.

Goodbye Columbus   Wed   8/6   Talking Pictures TV @ Midnight

A man and woman meet and fall in love in late 60's New Jersey. He's an ex soldier and she's a student. Both are Jewish but they still come from different worlds and find that social classes are very much a thing. An adaption of Philip Roth's story that's a bitingly honest look at how love sometimes just isn't enough for a relationship to work. Ali McGraw does well in her debut movie but Richard Benjamin steals the show.

A Star Is Born   Thur   9/6   BBC4 @ 22.40

The 1954 version. Norman's career is on the ropes, drink has ruined him, but one night he meets a showgirl called Esther and spots a chance to help her and revitalise himself. But Hollywood is an unforgiving place and alcohol is an unforgiving drug. Judy Garland and James Mason are excellent in a heartbreaking cautionary tale. It's almost 154 minutes long but you'll be glued to every single one of them.

Overlord   Thur   9/6   Film4 @ 23.50

D-Day. 6th of June, 1944. Paratroopers are descending on Normandy to take on the might of the German army but little do they suspect what's lurking in the darkness under the small town they must infiltrate. Ok, this action/horror is probably the goriest WWII film you'll ever see so avoid if you are squeamish but if you enjoy seeing nazis dying horribly you'll have a whale of a time here. Jovan Adepo and Wyatt Russell do decent work as the guys in charge.

Creed   Fri   10/6   RTE1 @ 22.35

Adonis Creed wants to follow in his father's footsteps and to do so he looks up to the only man who could ever challenge him, Rocky Balboa. No one expected the 7th installment in the Rocky series to work but it's a fantastic achievement and one that sees Rocky stepping down to a supporting role as a new contender steps up. Michael B. Jordan, Tessa Thompson and of course Sylvester Stallone all do amazing work.

The Flesh And Blood Show   Fri   10/6   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.55

The stage of an abandoned theater beside the sea becomes stained red with blood when a group of actors brought together by a mysterious benefactor start dying in strange and ghoulish ways. Infamous horror maestro Pete Walker's 1972 horror thriller is as sleazy and silly as you can imagine but it's also a fun and inventively grisly friday night watch. Ray Brooks and Jenny Hanley are the standouts here.

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RIP Ray Liotta

"This unabridged version of Goodfellas contains strong language and extremely violent scenes." The reason i remember these words 28 years later is because I taped the film and watched it about 20 times.

Words that were like manna from heaven for a 15 year old film fan about to be introduced to the films of Martin Scorsese courtesy of RTE1 and their Easter Monday 9.30 pm film slot. 

It blew our minds.

Joe Pesci from My Cousin Vinny and Lethal Weapon 2. Robert De Niro from Midnight Run and The Godfather Part 2. But who was this guy playing Henry Hill? Ray Liotta?? With the fuck you demeanour and the kill you in a second eyes. Jesus he was brilliant. That clip clop walk across the road to pistol whip the schmuck who touched Karen. The fear in his eyes and then the relief spilling over during the "How am I funny?"speech. Coked up and paranoid as fuck in his final day as a gangster. How had I never seen him before and where could I see more? Turns out I had seen him in Field Of Dreams but his take on Shoeless Joe Jackson was a million miles from his Henry Hill.

But looking back on it now the intensity was there alright. That stare. Piercing, used to brilliant effect in Unlawful Entry, Something Wild, Narc, No Escape, Copland. He should have been a megastar off the back of Goodfellas but it never really happened. But his career was a lot more interesting than anyone pumping out blockbusters. Poor unfortunate Markie in Killing Them Softly. Getting to eat his own brain in Hannibal. Being the dictionary definition of venal in The Place Beyond The Pines. Brilliantly portraying one side of the law in The Iceman and the other in Observe And Report and always pinning you to the seat while he did it with ease.

And now he's gone. Passed in his sleep at 67. No age at all. Never reached the egg noodles and ketchup stage. Never once lived his life as a schnook. 

17 films on TV this week to keep you entertained for a few hours everyday

The Changeling   Sat   21/5   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

The aftermath of a horrible tragedy sees John move to Seattle and there he finds a long vacant house to live in. Of course something strange is lurking in the house's dark corners. A genuinely well crafted ghost story that thankfully relies on slowburn tension and proper scares instead of blood and guts. George C. Scott is the star of the show but keep and ear out for the soundtrack too, it's *chefs kiss*

Desperately Seeking Susan   Sat   21/5   TG4 @ 22.30

Roberta is living her worst life in New Jersey and to stave off the boredom she travels into New York to spy on a meeting between two people who's interactions she's noticed in a personal ad in the local paper. Things get wild. Madonna's film debut is a funny, exciting and invigorating love letter to New York City and the chemistry between her and Rosanna Arquette could power a small village.

Happy Death Day   Sat   21/5   Film4 @ 23.20

It's Tree's birthday and she's loving her college life. Until she's murdered. Then she wakes up again and has to relive her final day over and over again until she can change what's coming for her. A cross of Scream and Groundhog Day and a very entertaining one at that. It's tame for a horror movie but there's plenty of earned scares and a dark sense of humour running throughout. Jessica Rothe and Ruby Modine have a good time in charge.

Jackie Brown   Sun  22/5   Great! Movies @ 00.05

An air hostess arrested for smuggling money finds herself caught between a drug dealer and the law and decides to make things work for herself. Arguably Quentin Tarantino's most accomplished and mature film to date. It lacks the usual blood & fireworks of his films but makes up for it with glorious dialogue and acting and a stunner of a cast including Pam Grier as Jackie with Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Bridget Fonda & Robert De Niro in fine supporting form.

Cal   Sun  22/5   RTE2 @ 00.15

A young man acts as the driver during the assassination of an RUC member in 1970's Northern Ireland. A year later he meets the man's widow. There's attraction but there's also a horrible dark cloud looming over both. Pat O'Connor's 1984 drama is a compelling look at the sides of the troubles that tend to go unseen. Helen Mirren and John Lynch both do interesting work in a dark and gritty film about pain, regret and loss.

Coco   Sun   22/5   BBC1 @ 14.05

A little Mexican boy called Miguel wants to be a musician but his family are having none of it. When an accident sends him to the land of the dead he finds an ancestor who can help him with his problem. Pixar's 2017 animated film is a perfect Sunday family film that will leave you an emotional mess when it's over. Beautiful, humane, rib tickling, clever and very touching. Anthony Gonzalez and Gael García Bernal do strong voice work here.

Hustlers   Sun   22/5   RTE1 @ 21.30

The women of Moves, a New York City strip club, are struggling financially and they've come up with a plan; instead of being preyed on by the rich Wall Street elite, they're going to turn the tables. This 2019 comedy drama rocks, a funny, intelligent and surprisingly moving look at the unseen side of the 2007 financial crisis. Constance Wu is a wicked lead but Jennifer Lopez owns the movie and every single scene she's in.

No Country For Old Men   Mon   23/5   TG4 @ 21.30

A man chasing deer finds himself in a world of hurt after he absconds with money found after a drug deal gone wrong. This thriller from the Coen Brothers is a magnificent watch. A gripping tale from the pen of Cormac McCarthy that will have you on the edge of your chair as the hunter becomes the hunted. The cast is first rate too with Josh Brolin, Kelly McDonald, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones and Javier Bardem all lashing into meaty roles.

Single White Female   Mon   23/5   Great! Movies @ 22.55

Allie's looking for a roommate after a breakup and Hedy's the one. Hedy's a bit clingy though, a bit intense and when the earlier break up is reconciled....Hedy isn't too happy about the fact. Some aspects of Barbet Schroeder's 1992 psychological thriller have dated in the preceding years but it's still a fine watch, tense in places and vicious in others. The pairing of Jennifer Jason Leigh and Bridget Fonda really works too.

The Innocents   Mon   23/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 23.50

When she's hired into the position of governess in a country estate, a woman called Miss Giddens begins to suspect something ghoulish is menacing the children she's supposed to look after so she sets out to protect them. A stylish and intelligent horror that's still creepy as hell after 60 years, evoking the power of suggestion in a brilliantly effective manner. Deborah Kerr and Michael Redgrave do great work.

We Own The Night    Tues   24/5   TCM @ 21.00

Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. 1988. Two brothers on either side of the law find their lives changed for the worse by their dealings with the Russian mafia. James Gray's crime drama is in my opinion one of the most underrated crime dramas of the century. A nail biting thriller and an intense family tale and all based on an (almost unbelievably) true story. Mark Wahlberg, Joaquin Phoenix, Robert Duvall and Eva Mendes are firing on all cylinders here.

The Handmaiden   Wed   25/5   Film4 @ 01.10

Japan. The 1930's. Sookee is hired to be the handmaiden for heiress Hideo. Sookee has an agenda but she hasn't counted on the bond that forms between her and her lady. Chan-wook Park's romantic thriller is an erotically charged and utterly absorbing watch. It's a long, demanding movie but it's one that will keep you glued to the screen throughout. Tae-ri Kim & Min-hee Kim as the leads do splendid work.

Went The Day Well?   Thu   26/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 18.10

A small English town is infiltrated by undercover German soldiers during World War 2. The villagers are having none of it though. Like a cross between Emmerdale and Where Eagles Dare, it's a unique little war film. Made in 1942 and quite brutal for it's time. Exciting stuff, properly surprising in places and well acted by Leslie Fields in particular. Really worth watching, an effective curio even if it is basically propaganda.

Catch Me If You Can   Thu   26/5   Film4 @ 18.15

The story of Frank Abagnale, a teenager who conned his way around the world with a fake uniform and balls of brass. Leonardo DiCaprio is in mighty form as Frank and Tom Hanks is..... well he's Tom Hanks as the FBI agent tasked with catching him. Throw in a superb Christopher Walken as Frank's Da as the icing on the cake. A sorely underrated film from Steven Spielberg that's extremely enjoyable while bearing a dark cautionary edge.

Suspicion   Thu   26/5   BBC4 @ 21.00

Onboard a train a shy young, rich woman meets a charmer and it isn't long before she falls for him. But is he what he seems? From the master of thrillers Alfred Hitchcock comes another romantic and twisty/turny cracker that will keep you guessing. Joan Fontaine and Cary Grant are the leads and play off each other fantastically. Grant lashes on his usual charm and Fontaine deserves every award she won for her role.

The Long Riders   Fri   27/5   TG4 @ 21.05

A unique take on the tale of Jesse James and his gang of outlaws. Not the story, that's nicely told but nothing new, it's the casting that makes it stand out. The real life gang was made up of 4 sets of brothers and here they are played by real life brothers. The Carradines, the Keachs, the Quaids & the Guests. It's clever & ensures real chemistry. Walter Hill's film is violent, tense and underrated. There's lovely music from Ry Cooder too.

Terms Of Endearment   Fri   27/5   RTE2 @ 23.40

Aurora and Emma are a mother and daughter who've a love/hate relationship. Through life's ups and downs they wax and wane but blood will always connect them. This James L. Brooks Oscar winner from 1980 will strike a chord with many viewers and will upset you but it's rarely mawkish and never feels forced due to a trio of excellent performances from Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger and Jack Nicholson.

Retweets are always appreciated. Thank you.

17 films to lash into on TV this week

Becky   Sat   14/5   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

A daughter and father with a strained relationship go on a holiday to reconnect. They have the misfortune to run into a group of escaped nazi prisoners. Or rather the nazis have the misfortune of running into Becky. Unfairly overlooked in 2020 because of covid but really worth rediscovering. An exceedingly violent black comedy action thriller starring Lulu Wilson and a rather different looking Kevin James.

Platoon   Sat   14/5   TG4 @ 21.20

A new recruit finds himself torn between two sergeants in the earlier days of the Vietnam conflict. One represents hope and humanity, the other the horrors of war and the dark side of the human psyche. Oliver Stone's 1986 war drama was one that made audiences stare in horror at America's complicity in the atrocities of war and it's still a scathing indictment 36 years later. Charlie Sheen. Tom Berenger and Willem Dafoe bring their best here.

This Is Spinal Tap   Sat   14/5   BBC2 @ 22.40

Spinal Tap are on the comeback trail and Marty DeBergi is along for the ride to film their exploits. The resulting documentary is glorious. The film that made mockumentaries a thing is a priceless couple of hours as David, Nigel and Derek make fools of themselves at every turn courtesy of spot on performances from Harry Shearer, Michael McKean & Christopher Guest. Stonehenge, all the way to eleven, dead drummers, even if you haven't seen it you'll know it.

Piranhas   Sun   15/5   BBC2 @ 01.00

The neighbourhood of Rione Sanità in Naples is a dangerous place, falling apart, rife with poverty and riddled with crime. A group of teenage boys see what the gangsters running the place have and they want it too. An award winner from 2019, it's a harsh, upsetting look at the abject misery that lies at the heart of one of Italy's most famous cities. The acting from a mostly amateur cast won't always convince but it's a substantial story nonetheless.

Rosie   Sun   15/5   BBC3 @ 20.40

The Davis family are in big trouble. They're homeless and spend their days in their car trying to sort out accommodation for the night. Their kids are having trouble in school and mam Rosie is feeling helpless. This recent Irish drama is a heartbreaking indictment of the appalling state of modern day Ireland and the disastrous agencies running it. Sarah Greene and Moe Dunford are flawless in an upsetting and thought provoking story from Roddy Doyle.

Official Secrets   Sun   15/5   RTE1 @ 21.30

A woman working for the UK government comes across a memo detailing blackmail being used to push countries into the post 9/11 invasion of Iraq. The only thing she can do is leak the document and it ruins her life. Based on a true story, Official Secrets is an angering and sobering look at government and media manipulation of facts and figures and the people who get shafted in the process. Keira Knightley does well leading a stacked cast of famous faces.

Ordinary Love   Sun   15/5   BBC2 @ 22.00

Joan and Tom have been married forever. Their love is strong but a health diagnosis is about to show them what their relationship is really made of. A real change of pace from Liam Neeson as kicks and headbutts are replaced by tenderness and affection but Lesley Manville owns the show as a woman dealing with a disease that will touch us all eventually. A tough and upsetting watch but you'll be glad you stuck with it.

Hallam Foe   Mon   16/5   Film4 @ 01.30

From his tree house in the woods Hallam loves to spy on people. He's a weird chap, he hates his stepmother and his problems stem from a tragedy in his past. A move to Edinburgh might be just what he needs. A dark and dreamlike coming of age film that might give you the ick but Jamie Bell is so good in the lead role that you'll eventually be able to look past his damage and see the broken heart trying to fix itself.

Re-Animator   Mon   16/5   The Horror Channel @ 22.55

80's horror at its best in a tale of a psychotic student scientist who has figured out the secret to re-animating dead flesh. Everything goes pear shaped of course. In the goriest way possible. A very entertaining film if you have a steel stomach and a willingness to just go with the bizarre onscreen events. Jeffrey Combs has the role of a lifetime as the man with the plan. Don't view if you are in any way squeamish.

The Graduate   Tues   17/5   BBC2 @ 23.15

"Here's to you Mrs Robinson". We all know the song but here is the film it's from. Dustin Hoffman is at his geeky best as a man who becomes involved with an older woman and her daughter. Complications ensue. A funny, wry, sarcastic and cynical film that rightly sits highly in many Top 10 of All time lists. It's dated but somehow ageless and it's one worth setting your box to record. Plus Anne Bancroft rules.

Drag Me To Hell   Tues   17/5   BBC3 @ 23.40

Sam Raimi's hilariously gooey & crunchy tale of a young woman's mistake and her efforts to fix that mistake. Alison Lohman has a whale of a time in the lead role and certainly earns her pay as she gets thrown around the screen like the Coyote in the old Roadrunner cartoons. The ideal horror film for people who claim not to like horror. It's a load of laughs and you'll snort as much as you roar at the screen

The Blood On Satan's Claw   Wed   18/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 00.05

A rural village in 18th century England is thrown into upheaval when an evil looking skull is unearthed by a plough and sinister things start happening in the aftermath. A prime example of folk horror, a sub-genre from the early 70's that would still give you the chills nearly 50 years later. It's hefty stuff, that in places will offend but it's genuinely effective. Patrick Wymark, Linda Hayden and Barry Andrews all do nice work.

Demolition   Wed   18/5   Film4 @ 01.30

When his personal and work life are both turned upside down a banker decides to demolish his old way of living and start afresh. This 2015 drama was overlooked on it's initial release but it's a well crafted look at grief and the effects it can have both physically and mentally on a person. Jake Gyllenhaal is a reliable lead as always and gets solid backing from Naomi Watts, Chris Cooper and in his debut role, Jodah Lewis.

Crimson Tide   Wed   18/5   Great! Movies @ 21.00

An interrupted transmission to a submarine leads to confusion and eventually onboard civil war when the crew find themselves in a moral quandry that could affect the future of life on earth. Tony Scott's 1995 thriller is a claustrophobic & sweaty watch that still has the power to wrack your nerves even if you know how it ends. Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman are both on fire and get strong support from George Dzundza, Viggo Mortensen and the late James Gandolfini.

Citizen Kane   Thur   19/5   BBC4 @ 21.00

One of the richest men in America has just died and as he passed he uttered one final word. A word that has reporters delving into his past in a bid to uncover what they think is a mystery. Put your feet up and take in one of the finest films ever made, a classic that deserves it's place in every top 10 list of the past 80 years. A magnificently mounted drama, one years, decades ahead of it's time and one propelled by a stunner of a leading turn from it's writer/director/star Orson Welles.

Demolition Man   Fri   20/5   ITV4 @ 21.00

In San Angeles 2032 a good guy out of time is brought into action to deal with a bad guy out of time. A wickedly enjoyable action comedy, one of the best of the 90's. Sylvester Stallone is in peak form as the hero, Sandra Bullock sparkles in an early role and Wesley Snipes has an absolute ball as the baddest man in California. A superb vision of what's to come too, a bright, clean, friendly nightmare of a future.

Bringing Out The Dead   Fri   20/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 21.05

Frank's an ambulance paramedic in New York and he's having a bad run. He's not saved a life in months and he's on the verge of a huge burnout. Then he meets Mary. Martin Scorsese's 1999 drama is a desperately dark movie but it's a mesmerising, compassionate and hugely satisfying one too that paints the most famous city in the world as a hellish place populated by monsters wanting to be saved. Nicolas Cage, Patricia Arquette, Ving Rhames, John Goodman.... there's no weak link here.

As always retweets are appreciated if you spot something you like. Thank you.

16 films to enjoy on TV this week

Network   Sat   7/5   TG4 @ 21.20

Howard Beale is mad as hell and he's not going to take it anymore. He's a newsreader and he's going offscript live on TV and audiences are loving it. His bosses are enjoying the increased ratings too. Sidney Lumet's 1976 multiple Oscar winning drama is a strong stuff, an intelligent, cruel and cutting satire that still feels topical 46 years later. Peter Finch, Faye Dunaway, William Holden and Ned Beatty all do amazing work.

The Personal History Of David Copperfield   Sat   7/5   CH4 @ 21.20

David Copperfield was a young man who's happy childhood took a terrible turn but resilience and a yearning for betterment saw him rise through the ranks of society. Charles Dickens' famous novel was set in Victorian times and this hilarious 2019 film adaption stays true to the story but adds a couple of modern twists and turns. Dev Patel is an enjoyable David and Benedict Wong, Tilda Swinton and Hugh Laurie support him ably.

A Private Function   Sat   7/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.55

Two years after the end of World War II England is still suffering the aftermath of global change, and rationing is still in effect. Gilbert and Joyce have gone into the black market bacon business and their product is highly sought after. A very British watch, about prim and proper people who look respectable but scratch the surface and chaos is always close by. Loads of fun and all carried out by a stacked cast led by Michael Palin, Maggie Smith and Denholm Elliot.

Sea Fever   Sat   7/5   Film4 @ 23.20

The superstitious crew of a trawler working the waters off the Irish coast allow a marine biologist onboard to study deep sea fauna and soon find out there might be something to the old legends about letting red haired women on boats! A rarity, a genuinely scary Irish horror film that has the courage to stick to it's convictions. Hermione Corfield, Olwen Fouéré, Dougray Scott and Connie Nielsen all do effective work.

Mindhorn   Sun   8/5   BBC1 @ 00.10

Richard Thorncroft, a washed up actor best known for a 30 year old show is dragged back into the public eye when a serial killer who believes the show was real decides he'll only talk to him. If you grew up on 70's and 80's TV you'll have a load of fun here. Packed full of glorious little touches and perfectly handled homages to a cheesier era. It's great craic and the familiar British cast lead by Julian Barrett all enjoy themselves.

That Thing You Do!   Sun   8/5   Great Movies @ 14.45

1964. Beatlemania is everywhere. A young band hires a new drummer who brings life to a catchy tune and before long listeners and music company execs are starting to notice. Sudden fame though, it's tough to get used to. A charmingly simple tale of a rapid rise and fall, told in a lovingly recreated way. Tom Everett Scott, Liv Tyler, Steve Zahn, Charlize Theron, Tom Hanks and many more all add to a diverting mix.

Plaza Suite   Sun   8/5   TG4 @ 15.30

Suite 719 of the New York Plaza hotel. If those walls could talk they'd tell a million stories and here we get to see three of them. A recreation of an earlier honeymoon, a visitor to town looking for quick romance and the aftermath of a wedding. From the pen of Neil Simon comes a bit of Sunday afternoon fun that's lifted by a trio of Walter Matthau performances seeing him playing a different character in each story. A dated but entertaining watch.

Slumdog Millionaire   Mon   8/5   Film4 @ 23.05

A teenage boy from Mumbai looks back on his life after he finds himself in a precarious position when he appears on a famous television show.  A tough but uplifting film from director Danny Boyle that gives us a fantastic insight into life in one of the most densely populated places on earth. It's a film that's hard to watch at times but it's worth sticking with. It's also Dev Patel's first film role and he just nails it. 

Maniac   Tues   9/5   The Horror Channel @ 00.45

Frank owns a mannequin shop. He's a strange guy and that's putting things mildly. He gets even stranger when a young artist asks for his help and dark desires come bubbling to the surface. Elijah Wood stars in a remake of the infamous and long banned 1980 original and turns in a genuinely creepy performance in a ghoulish, surreal and at times nauseating look at the madness bubbling around inside the minds of men.

The Left Handed Gun   Wed   10/5   TCM @ 13.30

A young man called William Bonney is offered a job and guidance from a peaceful cattleman and takes to the job like a duck to water until violence tarnishes his life and his revenge ruins the lives of those that know him. Arthur Miller's take on the legend of Billy The Kid is a cracker, an intelligent dismantling of western myths that goes to places most westerns don't dare. Paul Newman might be a bit too old for the lead role but he still nails it.

Sorry To Bother You   Thur   11/5   BBC3 @ 23.35

A black man in Oakland, California gets a job as a telemarketer and realises he's much better at his job when he pretends to sound like a white man. With success however comes responsibility and with responsibility comes a hell of a lot of weirdness. Boots Riley's 2018 film is a hard one to categorise but it's certainly the wackiest film you'll see this week. There's a lot of laughs too, don't worry. LaKeith Stanfield and Tessa Thompson do well leading a stacked cast.

My Favourite Wife   Thur   11/5   BBC4 @ 22.40

Ellen Arden's been missing for seven years. Seven years, the magic number where you are legally declared dead. Now her husband Nick can marry again and he's in a hurry to do so. The only thing is Ellen ain't dead. She's been marooned on a desert island. 82 years old and still wicked fun. A farcical screwball comedy that goes right for the jugular and that's powered by amusing turns from Irene Dunne and Cary Grant.

Commando   Fri   12/5   Film4 @ 21.00

John's daughter has been kidnapped in order to blackmail him into committing murder. A very ill thought out idea indeed. Mark L. Lester's 1985 action thriller is a slice of campy, vicious joy. It's the ultimate Arnold Schwarzeneggar experience. Buckets of blood, huge explosions, nonstop gunfire, glistening muscles, snarling bad guys and enough one liners to sink a cruise ship. Arnie does his thing well as always but Vernon Well's bad guy owns the film.

The Zookeeper's Wife   Fri   12/5   RTE1 @ 23.15

Antonina Żabińska has barely survived the bombing of Warsaw as the German invasion of Poland begins. Her husband is the director of the city zoo. Together they come up with a plan to use their business as a front to evacuate the Jewish population. A tough, heart wrenching and riveting watch about the little victories snatched from the jaws of death. Jessica Chastain and Johan Heldenbergh get the job done.

Retweets are always appreciated. Thank you.

16 films of interest to watch on TV this week

Weird Science   Sat   30/4   BBC3 @ 22.00

Gary and Wayne are a pair of nerds who are sick and tired of being school punchbags and knowing that they have no chance with women because of their reputations they decide to create one with their scientific knowledge. Everything goes wrong of course. John Hughes's 1985 comedy has aged quite painfully in places but it's still an entertaining slice of nostalgia for the middle aged among us. Kelly LeBrock steals the show and keep an eye out for a baby faced Robert Downey Jr.

Out Of Innocence   Sat   30/4   RTE1 @ 22.00

A baby's body is found on a beach. A young woman not even from the area is blamed and coercion is used to make her and her family confess. The good old days of 1980's Ireland where the church and gardai ruled by fear. Based on a real case this 2016 Irish drama is a bit simplistic and stretched in places but there's a righteous fury at play here and two magnificent performances from Fionnula Flaherty and Fiona Shaw demand you keep going through the heartbreak.

Get Shorty   Sat   30/4   TG4 @ 22.20

Hollywood's a dark and shifty place and when mobster Chilli Palmer rocks into town to collect a debt he realises he fits right in. So he decides to make himself at home. Barry Sonnenfeld's comedy drama is an absolute joy and it's easily the best utilisation of John Travolta's talents since his 90's career renaissance. The cast also includes Rene Russo, Gene Hackman, Delroy Lindo, Danny Devito and many more and they all bring their A-game.

A White,White Day   Sun   1/5   BBC2 @ 00.55

Ingimundur, an Icelandic police chief is dealing with the loss of his wife with the help of his work and their daughter. To help him through the process she hands over some of her mother's belongings and something catches Ingimundur's eye. A rattler of a film, a brutal look at the effects of grief and a hefty character study rolled into one. It's not for everyone but it's well worth recording. Ingvar Eggert Sigurðsson is amazing in the main role.

Bend Of The River   Sun   1/5   ITV4 @ 13.20

The second collaboration between James Stewart and director Anthony Mann is a majestic watch. An oft told tale of simple homesteaders being harassed by landowners but one that's kept fresh by authentic acting, action and scenery. Plus it's always fun to see an actor with a screen persona like Stewart play someone ruthless and it all plays out in glorious Technicolor too. A nice old fashioned Sunday afternoon film.

The Bride Of Frankenstein   Sun   1/5   The Horror Channel @ 22.25

Doctor Frankenstein is dismayed after the events of his earlier story and wants to give up on his experiments to create life after death but a mentor of his urges him to continue and to create a mate for his infamous invention. James Whale's 1935 masterpiece is a rare beast, a sequel that's better than it's predecessor. A layered, intelligent, imaginative, soulful and eerie stunner with brilliant showings from Boris Karloff and Elsa Lanchester.

Lady In Cement   Mon   2/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 21.00

Private eye Tony Rome is on holidays in Florida when he makes a grisly discovery beneath the warm waves near Miami. After reporting it to the police his services are hired in another case but something seems familiar. Too familiar. A surprisingly breezy movie despite it's subject manner and a reminder that Frank Sinatra, as Tony, was actually a strong actor when he put his mind to it. Racquel Welch and Dan Blocker add nice support.

The Wolf Of Wall Street   Mon   2/5   TG4 @ 21.30

Jordan Belfort was a scumbag who ripped people off all over America in the 1980's and 90's selling ropey shares. Somehow Martin Scorsese has managed to turn his story into an extremely funny and compulsively watchable tale about the dangers of capitalism and egotism. Leonardo DiCaprio is tremendous in the lead role and gets wicked back up from Margot Robbie, Jonah Hill and John Bernthal. Not for the easily offended. Seriously.

45 Years   Tues   3/5   Film4 @ 01.25

Just as they are about to celebrate their 45th anniversary a couple receive a piece of news that shakes the foundations of their relationship. Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay are fantastic in a deeply humane film that will make you rethink your ideas about how other people perceive you. Seeing these two old pros getting to grips with a meaty and mature story is a compelling way to spend a couple of hours.

Anna And The Apocalypse   Tues   3/5   The Horror Channel @ 02.25

Anna's about to finish school and go travelling for a year. Her Da is not happy about it, her best friend is secretly in love with her and a fleeting romantic acquaintance is being awkward. Life is messy and gets worse when the end of the world kicks off. A bizarre blend of christmas movie, horror, comedy and musical that shouldn't work at all but somehow it does. An amusing story made even better by it's memorable characters. 

Zoltan, Hound Of Dracula   Wed   4/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 00.05

Army shenanigans have unearthed a scary crypt and in that crypt is something ungodly, a demon on four legs, Zoltan, the faithful servant of the Prince Of Darkness. He's free, he's hungry and pedigree chum just won't do. Yep, it's as stupid as it sounds but it's a lot of fun too coming at the tale (tail heh) end of that golden era of 1970's American horror while effective turns from Jose Ferrer and Reggie Nalder keep it bobbing along.

Picnic At Hanging Rock   Thur   5/5   Film4 @ 00.50

February 14th. 1900. A class excursion to Hanging Rock in the wilds of Victoria, Australia ends in disaster when a teacher and pupils vanish without a trace. Peter Weir's 1975 classic put Antipodean cinema on the map and rightly so. It's a haunting, puzzling, unnerving, dreamlike movie that asks more than it answers but once you've seen it you won't forget it for a long while. Rachel Roberts and Anne-Louise Lambert nail their parts.

Top Hat   Thur   5/5   BBC4 @ 21.00

If you've seen The Green Mile you'll recognise the most famous scene in Top Hat instantly. The story of an American dancer coming to London and the dancing partner he first annoys and then falls for. After a series of mistakes and miscommunications of course. 87 years old this year and still as charming as when it was first released. Ginger Rogers & Fred Astaire create a little bit of magic onscreen together.  

Sudden Death   Thur   5/5   ITV4 @ 22.05

Darren McCord is a security guard working in an ice hockey rink and a man haunted by his past. When a game night is taken over by terrorists he has a chance to redeem himself. An enjoyable adventure that manages to hit all the action beats you'd expect while simultaneously ripping the mick out of the entire genre. Jean Claude Van Damme is fun as McCord and the much missed Powers Boothe is a deadly boo hiss bad guy.

Call Me By Your Name   Fri   6/5   RTE2 @ 21.45

Elio, a teenager lives a carefree life in the early 80's Italy. Until he meets Oliver, an American man hired to work with his father and his life gets rather complicated when he starts to feel attracted to him. Lead Timothée Chalamet does his drippy thing as usual but here it suits the film. A heartfelt look at the pain and angst and discovery of your formative years with Armie Hammer and Michael Stuhlbarg doing excellent work.

Alone In Berlin   Fri   6/5   RTE1 @ 23.20

A family tragedy during World War 2 brings home to a pair of grieving parents the fact that the political ideology they have given themselves over to doesn't care less about them or their feelings. If you can get past the sight of Ireland's favourite actor (™) Brendan Gleeson playing a nazi sympathiser you'll find plenty to get your teeth into here. Emma Thompson and Daniel Brühl do well in a sadly still topical story.

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Big screen Bond

The local cinema is showing every Bond film starting with Dr No starting from next Wednesday. I'm over the moon. I've seen them all since Licence To Kill in the cinema and now's my chance to catch the rest on the big screen. Little Nelly from You Only Live Twice. THAT pigeon doubletake from Moonraker. A BLIMP SNEAKING UP ON A WOMAN in A View To A Kill. Bambi & Thumper from the otherwise godawful Diamonds Are Forever. The best car stunt ever filmed from The Man With The Golden Gun.

Oh man I'm so fucking giddy. I shall be seeing them all.

16 films on TV this week to help you ignore everything

Mean Girls   Sat   23/4   5Star @ 23.10

The world of American high schools is a scary and complex place as 16 year old Cady Heron finds out when her family return from working in Africa and she goes to class for the first time in her life. Tina Fey's 2004 comedy is a smart, knowing and funny look at the hierarchies and horrors of what many people call the best times of their lives. The fools. Lindsay Lohan, Lizzy Caplan, Rachel McAdams, Amy Poehler and Amanda Seyfried all rock their roles.

Inserts   Sat   23/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 23.15

The introduction of sound to film is taking it's toll on the silent movie stars of Hollywood and they are changing the way they do their work to survive in the wacky home of showbusiness. A unique and interesting chamber piece from 1975 about an era of film making that's rarely talked about anymore but one that was massively important nonetheless. Veronica Cartwright, Richard Dreyfuss and horror fave Jessica Harper work well together.

Dorian Gray   Sat   23/4   RTE2 @ 23.35

Based on Oscar Wilde's famous 19th century novel, Dorian Gray tells the story of a young man and the special deal he makes to ensure he stays looking exactly the same as he did the day he gets that infamous portrait done. A lavish and surprisingly bloody take on the story, with a couple of it's own unique twists and turns. A film that might offend some but it's an intriguing watch led by a decent turn from Ben Barnes.

The Spy Who Came In From the Cold   Sun   24/4   TG4 @ 14.35

Mr Leamas has been kicked out of M16 and is totally disillusioned with the state of English politics. He's willing to sell state secrets and East German agents are willing to buy them. But is it all as it seems? Hmmm? This 1965 take on the John leCarre book is a far more absorbing and engaging film than later adaptions of his work with mystery abounding and compelling performances from Richard Burton, Claire Bloom and Cyril Cusack keeping everything moving on nicely.

Barefoot In The Park   Sun   24/4   RTE1 @ 15.45

Paul and Carrie are like oil and water, chalk and cheese, up and down. Yet somehow they've ended up married and now they've got to get to know each other during their honeymoon and before they start to live together. A lovely Sunday afternoon watch from 1967 and from the pen of Neil Simon, it's romcom farce at it's best and when you've got Jane Fonda and Robert Redford playing the leads you really can't go wrong.

True Grit   Sun   24/4   ITV4 @ 21.00

A young woman hires a briary old U.S. marshal to hunt the men who killed her father. The Coen Brother's fiercely entertaining remake of the classic John Wayne western is a rare beast - a remake that surpasses the original. A droll, quirky and in places quite touching story. The cast is top notch too with Hailee Steinfeld superb in her debut acting role but the film belongs to Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn. He's just flawless in the part.

Assassination Nation   Sun   24/4   Film4 @ 23.50

A phone hack has unleashed the worst secrets of a small American town. Tempers are rising, friendships are shattered and vengeance is sought. Four highschool friends team up to protect themselves and dole out justice. A dark 2018 thriller that's a wild and violent ride which takes aim at everything wrong with modern day America. It's not always successful but when it works it REALLY works. Odessa Young, Hari Nef and Suki Waterhouse are an effective leading trio.

Posse   Mon   25/4   TCM @ 23.35

A group of buffalo soldiers are home from war and weary from travel. As black cowboys they face hatred at every turn and surviving the wild west is a tough prospect but a quest for justice is keeping their fight alive. Mario Van Peebles directs and stars in a fine slice of western revisionism. It was not well received back in 1993 but it's definitely a film worthy of re-evaluation. The cast makes it sing too with hefty turns from Van Peeples, Blair Underwood and Tiny Lister.

Jimmy's Hall   Tue   26/4   Film4 @ 01.45

After 10 years in the United States Jimmy's come home and he's brought ideas with him. Ideas that don't sit well with a church run state or with the Garda Síochána who enforce the rules. When he starts opening people's minds he's a goner. Ken Loach directs an angry and caustic look at post civil war Ireland and the social mores that held us down for decades. Barry Ward, Simone Kirby and a vicious Jim Norton all hit the mark. 

The Terror   Wed   27/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 03.20

Andre, a soldier lost in 19th century Germany after a battle is saved by a woman with a deep and dark secret. A secret involving a baron who's being torn asunder by his guilt over an act in his past. Roger Corman's 1963 horror might look a bit cheap and shoddy but it's atmosphere is spot on and a trio of wild turns from Jack Nicholson, Sandra Knight and Boris Karloff keep everything ticking over. The story of the making of The Terror is worth reading here.

Alien   Wed   27/4   ITV4 @ 21.00

The crew of the spaceship Nosotromo have touched down on a moon and they've discovered something weird and egglike. That pulsates. Ridley Scott's sci-fi horror is 43 years old now and it's still as scary as it was on it's release date. A sweaty, claustrophobic and tension packed watch that's dotted with a couple of scenes for the ages and all grounded by terrific turns from Sigourney Weaver,  John Hurt,Tom Skerritt, Veronica Cartwright, Yaphet Kotto and Ian Holm.

Calm With Horses   Wed   27/4   Film4 @ 21.00

Arm's handy with his fists and the criminal family who run the small seaside town he calls his home love to take advantage of that fact. He's got his son and ex girlfriend to care for but the line of work he's in is catching up fast with him. Covid killed this Irish film dead in early 2020 and it's a pity it never found an audience. It's dark and dreary stuff but there's a beautiful streak of humanity in it that will keep you watching. Cosmo Jarvis, Niamh Algar and Barry Keoghan are all deadly.

Laura   Thur   28/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 18.15

NYPD detective McPherson is investigating the murder of Laura Hunt. The deeper into the investigation he gets the more obsessed he becomes and people around him start to worry. This film noir thriller from Otto Preminger is as strong as they get. Complex, constantly surprising, full of suspense and stylish as hell. There's effective acting from Gene Tierney (as Laura) and Clifton Webb too. Definitely worth your time.

The Outlaw   Thur   28/4   BBC4 @ 22.30

Numerous legends of the Wild West clash in a Howard Hughes directed story of Pat Garrett, Doc Holliday, Billy The Kid and Rio McDonald, the woman all three lust over when they clash in a New Mexico town. It was infamous on it's release for it's sexual overtones and the way Hughes photographed Jane Russell's attributes but the scandal overshadowed an interesting curiosity of a story. Russell and Walter Huston (John's Father) are the standouts.

The Good Liar   Fri   29/4   RTE2 @ 22.00

Betty's been recently widowed and she's got quite a bit of cash in the bank. Roy's a con-man and he's set his sights on her. But has he bitten off more than he can chew? One revelation in this 2019 thriller will roll your eyes right out of your head but the real pleasure here is watching consummate professionals like Helen Mirren and Ian McKellen going head to head with each other. It's rough in places so be wary but it's a solid friday night watch.

Cape Fear   Fri   29/4   BBC1 @ 22.40

Max Cady is back in town and he's looking to get revenge on Sam Bowden, the lawyer who sent him to jail. Sam's family are in the line of fire too. Martin Scorsese's 1991 thriller is overblown, silly and hideously violent in places but it's also great. A hilariously excessive Robert De Niro performance both roughs up and smooths it's edges while powerful work from Jessica Lange, Juliette Lewis and Nick Nolte turn it all into a heady brew.

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bollixed

I'm so tired these days I can't even watch a film.

What is happening?

Is this what being in your 40's is?

A constant dose ache and pain and no desire to do the stuff you love?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Fuck it. 

I'm going to make myself watch something I love. 

Ahhh yeah, that's the stuff.

The Sadness

The Sadness is the most violent horror film you'll see this year. It's probably the most violent horror film you'll watch this decade...nah, you know what, scratch that, it' might be the most violent horror film you'll ever see. Well unless you frequent the darker sides of the internet but that's a strange place for stranger people so let's just say The Sadness will freak you out.

There's something viral the air in Taipei, the capital of Taiwan and it's making people freak out. Not in an exasperated "FUCK IT ANYWAY!" kind of way but more dunk a person's head in boiling oil and then rip the melting flesh off their face kind of way. Jim (Berant Zhu) sees this happen up close and personal in his local cafe and his day is only going to get worse from there. Wholesale butchery is turning his city into a bloodstained warzone and no one knows why and all Jim can do is think about Kat (Regina Lei), his other half using the city subway to get to work. What she sees happen on a train carriage is enough to turn anyone catatonic for life but Kat is a hardy lady and now their mission is to fight their way across urban hell to reunite before the sadness catches up to them.

Jesus christ. JESUS CHRIST. That's all you'll be saying for the first hour of this topical gorefest. It's a vicious, insane assault on the senses that barely gives you time to catch your breath in between it's bouts of hideous bloodletting. It starts off fun in an "oh fuck" kind of way but eventually it's violence just becomes numbing and repetitive and by the gouged out eye socket rape scene (yeah you sadly read that right) you just want it to be over and done with and when the end does come it feels like Canadian writer/director Rob Jabbaz just flat out ran out of ideas letting it finish on a whimper instead of a roar. It's disappointing because that first and second act is just nonstop. We get to know and like Jim and Kat for a wee while until the plot separates them and then it's just chaos, lovingly designed gore setpieces hitting one after the other in a manner that will either have you running for the door or laughing your arse off.

An early gorefree moment sets the agenda though. Kat, reading in a train carriage, alone but surrounded by other commuters. An older man sits next to her and attempts conversation. It's innocent at first but imperceptibly turns sinister and then sickening. Jabbaz's message is clear, humanity can't help itself, even without that disease ripping the city apart above ground we're prey to our baser instincts and when the sadness does hit it just lets loose what we really want to do. In sanguis veritas if you will. It might be a cynical worldview but it's not far off the mark and it's compounded later on by the actions of a security guard that will have you hissing at the screen. But in films like this everyone gets what's coming to them and if it's blood and guts you want, you'll get all you'll ever need here.

With it's clearly, carefully shot and well choreographed action it's obvious Jabbaz has talent. His horror chops are strong too with some big nods to the likes of Irreversible and A Serbian Movie and Garth's Ennis's long running comic series Crossed. Like that comic The Sadness does at times go beyond the pale into a place that's flat out offensive and it's those couple of moments alongside a weak ending that may well stop this from becoming a horror favourite in years to come. 

The Sadness will be streaming on Shudder soon.