August 13, 2017
Annabelle: Creation. Shite.
A prequel to a spin off of a horror franchise and exactly as good as that sounds.
Blah.
A happy family suffers a horrible tragedy and 12 years later when they open their home to an orphanage the past comes back to haunt them. Big style. In the form of an evil doll. Dun dun dunnnn. Think of it like The Beguiled meets Poltergeist but, you know, not a patch on either.
I was not a fan of this. I thoroughly enjoyed The Conjuring 1 & 2 and the first Annabelle spin off was effective in places but this annoyed the face off me.
Annoying because it started really well. The first half of the film is quite effective. The setting is nice and scenic. Anthony LaPaglia and especially Miranda Otto are good as a couple trying and failing to cope with grief. The house they live in is creepy and full of dark nooks and cranny's in the tradition of the best ghost stories. The story is horrifying at first then it lapses into a nice subtle(ish) slow burner. Small things happen, so small you aren't sure you saw them or if it's your imagination playing tricks on you. Silly Scooby Dooish things like a scarecrow hanging on a barn wall or bible pages stuck to a door will give you the heebee jeebee's. It builds a lot of good will and then throws it all out the window with a shrieking climax that seems to go on forever.
Annabelle: Creation, especially in its second half, is a horror film from the school of LOUD NOISES and DRAMATIC MUSIC, the default setting for scary movies these days. Apart from the aforementioned couple it's characters are identikit and dull. Honestly I saw it a few hours ago and the only name I can remember without looking them up is the one in the title. It's characters are also morons. Their actions make no sense. Kids can be silly because they are kids but are priests and nuns this stupid?
The other films in the series especially the Conjuring's had roughly the same quiet, quiet, loud layout but importantly they had main characters you gave a shit about played by capable actors like Vera Farmiga, Ron Livingston, Lili Taylor, actors able to bring their characters to life. They were something for the audience to cling on to, to empathise with. That makes such a difference in a horror film. Here we have a group of young girls who scream a lot. A lot. You just don't care about them. And it's a bad state of affairs when you don't care about kids being theatened. It reminded me of years ago, watching the old Friday The 13th films and wanting the bad guy to win. All that and it's ending just fizzles out into nothingness. I know it's a prequel but come on. No doubt the film makers wanted people to wow at how that film ties into the next but most people will just be relieved it's over.
I think a lot of my problem with the film is the earlier tragedy in the film is so horrifying and all encompassing that everything else in the film seems silly in comparison. No amount of faces popping from the shadows and screeching can compare to a sudden cut to black and the sound of a roar of anguish and the horrors your own mind can make up.
It's just not good and turns into a microcosm of everything that's wrong with modern day horror. Cheap scares, shit characters and the need to batter the audience over the head.
Poor show.
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