Winterfell. Yara has rocked up. Theon is not one bit happy to see his sister. He expected her to turn up with 500 men to help him hold the castle.
She's not one bit happy to see the bodies of two dead and burned children hanging above the game. She might be tough but she has more honour than Theon.
Now in the next installment of Shame Theon Time she wants him to go home. Killing two highborn children of the North is about to bring the wrath of the north down on his head. He's having none of it and stays put. You really should have listened to your sister man.
In the North Jon has been captured by The Wildlings. Eek. He's brought before the Lord Of Bones only to see Qhorin has been captured too. I dunno, these Night's Watch fellas are a bit shit tbh.
Jon's about to be gutted when Ygritte informs them of his parentage. Ned Stark's son. Ned Stark's name rings out in the North and maybe Mance Rayder might be interested in Jon. His life is safe for now. Plus Ygritte wants to bone him. That saved him too.
Robb and Talisa are getting close. He tells her he's promised to a daughter of Walder Frey. The way these 2 are getting close means that might not happen. He's telling her about his Da too. His death took a chunk out of Robb too.
Jaime's gone too. This time Catelyn let him go. Brienne is bringing him to King's Landing to trade him for Sansa. No one is pleased by this turn of events. It makes Robb look weak.
Jaime of course is being a headmelt, ripping the piss out of Brienne. Jaime, you're tied up and she's the size of Dwayne Johnson. Just stop.
In Harrenhal Twyin is being informed that Stannis Baratheon is heading for King's Landing and that King's Landing hasn't a hope. He is not best pleased.
Arya meanwhile is soaking up all this knowledge. Sadly this knowledge includes the news that Winterfell has fallen to the Greyjoys. And her time with Tyrion is over. He's off and he's left her with Gregor Clegane. Gregor Clegane is not a good man to be around.
Gendry and Hotpie are still alive and working at Harrenhal. They've no idea where Jaqen Hagar is. Arya needs him to take his third life. That of Tywon Lannister. So much for friendship!
In the North Jon and Qhorin have a plan. Have a pretend scrap and fall out with each other leading to Jon defecting to the Wildlings.
Then Jon gets fucked off a cliff.
In King's Landing Tyrion is stressed and taking it out on Bronn. Bronn is having none of it. The plan to defend King's Landing is a tough one. Tyrion has a decent plan though but keeps it to himself when Varys comes sniffing around.
The remaining Night's Watch men are setting up camp for the night. Grenn is digging a shithole when he comes across something special. Something buried by ancient men. A stash of dragon glass weapons. Dragon glass weapons can kill anything. ANYTHING.
Arya finally finds Jaqen. He cannot kill Tywin so she tricks him into helping her escape. She's fierce crafty. A promise is a promise though and he won't break his. She'll be free soon enough.
Cersei confronts Tyrion when she finds out Joffrey wants to fight against Stannis. She assumes its a Tyrion plan for Joffrey to die. This time though he's had no part of it. Joffrey just wants to kill a man. And lead his own men.
Cersei has a plan to control Tyrion. Of course she does. She's captured Shae, Tyrion's love. If Joffrey dies, so does Shae. Only Cersei has made a mistake. She thinks Ros is Tyrion's lover. Tyrion is honorable though so goes along with Cersei's plan.
Tyrion is in a rage with Cersei at her sneakiness but always terrified for Shae. They need to be more careful. They really do love each other. Awww.
Robb is getting concerned for Bran and Rickon's welfare. No word is coming from home at all. Roose Bolton has sent his bastard son Ramsey Snow to deal with Theon. Robb only wants Theon's head. Roose wants all the Iron born dead. Roose is not a merciful man....
As Roose leaves Talisa enters. Uh-oh. Robb tells her his woes. She tells him hers. Robb tells her he does not want to marry a fray. Boom boom ensues. *Gratuitous nudity klaxon* Oh wow, i did not see that coming.
This will cause trouble. Walder Fray is not a man to be trifled with. Momentary happiness in this show never leads to anything good.
Arya, Hotpie and Gendry are ready to escape. But there's a ton of guards between them and freedom. Until Jaqen minces them all. They're free. Where to next?
At sea Stannis and Davos are on course for battle. Stannis' confidence is high. It's never good to be this confident. But the chip on Stannis's shoulder about Kings Landing means he's going to give this battle his all.
Joffrey wants to attack Robb knowing he's distracted over Winterfell. He thinks he can do that and take on Stannis at once. His fake bravado and obvious war inexperience has Tyrion shitting bricks.
Tyrion and Varys make a great double act. They get on great and this is why Varys decides to tell Tyrion that Daenerys is still alive. And that she has three dragons now. Info that obviously came from the spy Jorah Mormont.
One thing at a time though. Stannis first. The mother of dragons later. That face off is years away yet.
In Qarth Daenerys is still missing her 3 little winged buddies. Jorah wants her to leave this evil city. She's going nowhere. Her dragons are her last link to Khal Drogo. She's not leaving without them.
Back in Winterfell Maester Luwin notices Osha stealing food. He'd assumed she was dead along with Bran and Rickon. Bran and Rickon who are alive and well!! Until Bran finds out two children died in his place at the hands of Theon.
Very much an episode about moving pieces into place but still a good one. The next is a stunner if i recall correctly.
Next up - Blackwater
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
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