Final Score

"They think we're fucking around?" "What do we do?" "We show them we're not fucking around!"

"Police?" "No." "How do you know?" "Police don't leave dead bodies in toilet cubicles."

"I find it hard to trust someone who brings C4 to a fuckin' soccer game."

Just some of the treats in store for you if you decide to watch this.

Michael Knox is an ex soldier with a past that haunts him. While treating the daughter of an ex-comrade to a West Ham game at Upton Park he finds himself entangled in a web of danger that threatens not only the lives of the people he loves but also the crowds in the football stadium and the stability of an entire country.

Final Score is a blisteringly stupid film filled with awful dialogue, terrible acting, some seriously bad special effects, massive lapses of logic and it also steals entire plotlines from both Die Hard and Sudden Death. But you know what?? Somehow it works and turns into an entertaining whole. A very unoriginal whole of course. While watching this you'll be tempted to check the nearest calendar and make sure you haven't somehow fallen through a Jerry Bruckheimer created wormhole back to 1997. The only thing giving it a modern feel are the actors and smartphones. You could just imagine a non bald Bruce Willis in the lead, with Rutger Hauer and Jurgen Prochnow and very little story changed. It's all very reminiscent of that fun time in action movies before plot or depth mattered, when the only important thing was hitting the bad guy harder than he hit you.

There's plenty here that will make you roll your eyes. Fights taking place in front of crowds who don't take one bit of notice. Huge gun battles atop of stands and no one inside batting an eyelid. The fact that an entire football stadium's security seems to consist of one nervous comedy Asian dude. The cringingly bad crowbarred in swearing and dialogue that will make your eyes spin. Oh and the worst teenage actress in England. Happily the badness is diluted by moments of such glorious silliness that you'll end up smiling and laughing despite yourself. A motorbike chase played out to the sounds of Frankie Goes To Hollywood, a brutal kitchen fight scene containing the hardest headbutt ever captured on film and a very unexpected Tarzan moment that tops a crescendo of craziness. Add in a very British sense of humour and one self deprecating joke that will send the righteous bearded goys of twitter into a frenzy and you have yourself a fun watch. Just try not to think too much during it, just let it wash over you.

Dave Batuista as Knox is not bad at all in his part. A wrestler turned actor who's actually capable of displaying emotion in between deep frying bad guy's faces off. The action stuff comes naturally to him of course and he looks far more comfortable breaking bones than chatting about hotdogs. Ray Stevenson as the big bad looks suitably menacing even though his Russian accent is about as convincing as mine and Pierce Brosnan turns up as a man hiding from his past but doesn't do much bar rock a dignified beard. Amit Shah and Lara Peake round out the cast but the less said about them the better. Their acting...eh.....it's not good. Let's leave it at that. The fact the a lot of the movie was actually filmed at Upton park helps paper over a lot of cracks created by the shoddier ingredients. The stadium was due to be demolished so this gave the filmmakers a unique opportunity to treat it like a playground and it gives the whole thing a big budget sheen. Despite the OTT antics on display filming at a genuine location and not in front of a green screen kind of grounds the whole thing in some semblance of reality. Some.

A fun watch if you are willing to overlook a lot of ropey moments and whole swathes of story that makes no sense.