Summer Blockbusters. What's in store for us

The summer blockbuster season is almost here and to no-one's surprise it's once again made up of sequels and reboots. But shur lookit, it's more or less the same every year so we might as well make the best of what we get. Anyways, in between the big stuff there'll be plenty of little treats that I'll gather up soon.

John Wick Chapter 3   17th of May

Part 3 of the hitman saga looks tasty. Samurai motorcyclists with katana swords chasing after Keanu on a horse. How could it not be good? Plus it has a cast to die for.

Chances of it being fun - High.
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - It's rated 16 so that should stop some nonsense.
Originality - It's a second sequel but i'm sure we'll get some action never seen before.

Aladdin   24th of May

This Guy Ritchie directed live action remake of the classic (1991, is it old enough to be a classic?) Disney cartoon could go either way. If Ritchie can reign in some of his horrible directorial tics that is. Will Smith is the genie. Modern day Will Smith is box office poison. Not positive about this one.

Chances of it being fun - At best it will be undemanding fluff.
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - Massive.
Originality - If you've seen the 1991 version you've already seen this.

Godzilla King Of The Monsters   31st of May

The follow up to Gareth Edward's 2014 Godzilla reboot looks epic. Hopefully it will ditch the human stuff that no one cared about and just concentrate on giant monster carnage. That is literally all we want from this.

Chances of it being fun - High. So long as it isn't all set at night like the first one.
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - Middling. Snapchatters don't like kaiju films.
Originality - Nada.

Charlie's Angels   7th of June  * This has been delayed til November. Booo.

This Elizabeth Banks directed and written reboot could be the sleeper hit of the summer. A seventies TV fave with the male gaze removed. If it's funny enough people will flock to it. Plus it will rile up angry film twitter boi's something fierce.

Chances of it being fun - High.
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - Crowds of giddy women. Tut tut tut.
Originality - Not much but i trust Banks to change things up some bit.

Men In Black 4   14th of June

A spin off from the original franchise but a reboot in all but name. Chris Hemsworth is the funniest thing in the Marvel universe so hopefully that will carry over and Tessa Thompson is slowly become the go to actress in Hollywood because she's good at everything.

Chances of it being fun - High.
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - Huge.
Originality - The Men In Black universe is enormous. Plenty of room for something new here.

Toy Story 4   21st of June

The most unnecessary sequel ever? It may well be. Toy Story 3 had a perfect ending so god knows where they'll go with this but you know what, it's Pixar, I trust them to do good things.

Chances of it being fun - To Infinity And Beyond.
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - If the sound of happy kids annoys you, avoid this like the plague.
Originality - As mentioned already, i trust Pixar not to do a mere retread of earlier stuff.

Spiderman : Far From Home   5th of July

The first post Endgame Marvel film is thankfully a Spiderman film and one thing Spiderman films do well is fun. Homecoming was a joy and I've a feeling this one will be too. Plus Jake Gyllenhal is the bad guy and he's always worth watching.

Chances of it being fun - Definitely.
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - Go see it on opening day. Rabid Marvel fans have been known to kill talkers.
Originality - Not much. Marvel films are fun but they are Marvel films.

Top Gun 2 : Maverick   12th of July

33 years later Tom Cruise returns as Maverick. It could be a fun sequel where Tom is now the mentor or it could be absolute trash that retroactively ruins the original. I'm betting big on the former. The Cruiser rarely disappoints.

Chances of it being fun - I FEEL THE NEED, THE NEED FOR SPEED.
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - I cannot see this one appealing to teens.
Originality - I'm sure the storyline will smell familiar but the world is a very different place now than it was in 1986.

The Lion King   19th of July

A cynical man would call this live action remake a cash grab. I'm cynical so yes, this is a cash grab. It will be well made and full of lovely cgi but it looks utterly soulless.

Chances of it being fun - Timon and Pumba, yes. Everything else, no.
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - Don't go to this for a month. It's going to be chaotic.
Originality - Feck all. Like Aladdin, if you've seen the cartoon you've seen this.

Hobbs and Shaw   26th of July

This Fast & Furious spin off looks blisteringly stupid. But it also looks like brilliant fun. Two of the most entertaining leading men together and taking on the most charismatic actor around (Idris Elba) while doing the haka and manhandling giant axes. It's going to be mega.

Chances of it being fun - GIGANTIC
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - GIGANTIC
Originality - A balding heroic duo. You don't see that very often.

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood   9th of August

Tarantino's 9th film is the only original story of the bunch. The tale of an actor and his stuntman and their tangential connection to the Manson Murders. This is going to be a controversial one but just look at that cast. Very high hopes for this one.

Chances of it being fun - Massive. A QT movie is always a fun watch
Chances of it being ruined by a crowd of eejits - A guaranteed 18 cert should keep muppets away but adults can be muppets too.
Originality - Plenty.