11 films for you on TV this week

Riddick   Sat   11/1   E4 @ 21.00

The third film in the Riddick series sees Richard Riddick left for dead on a desolate planet and before long he's facing predators out for his blood, both human and not.... A tense, blackly funny, cheesy and in places bloody scifi thriller that continues the series in nice style. Vin Diesel does his monotone growl and Katee Sackoff, Dave Batuista and Jordi Moller make for fun support.

Smilla's Sense Of Snow   Sat   11/1   TG4 @ 21.15

A young Inuit boy dies in an accident in a Danish town and his neighbour Smilla is troubled by the how's and why's of the tragedy so she decides to dig a little deeper. A well paced, beautiful looking and very atmospheric mystery that doesn't quite nail it's ending but the journey to it is very intriguing. Julia Ormond is a fine lead and gets good back up from Richard Harris, Gabriel Byrne and Bob Peck.

Love Is The Devil   Sun   12/1   BBC2 @ 00.45

An artist named Francis Bacon discovers a burglar in the house one night and instead of calling 999 he decides to seduce the man instead. Of course this leads to all manner of madness. This isn't a film anyone will call enjoyable but it's an interesting and quite disturbing look at the effects alcohol and loneliness can have on an already dysfunctional life. Derek Jacobi and a very unBond like Daniel Craig do mighty work.

Nevada Smith   Sun   12/1   ITV4 @ 15.00

Nevada Smith, looked down on all his life for being a halfbreed, half White, half Native American is devastated by a massive tragedy and changes his life in order to get revenge on the men responsible. This Steve McQueen western is a solid sunday afternoon watch. It does all you'll expect but it does them well and McQueen is his usual stoic self. It's quite a violent film to be on so early in the day so expect it to be snipped here and there.

Changeling   Sun   12/1   ITV3 @ 23.05

In 1930's Los Angeles, a Woman's son is kidnapped and months later he's returned to her. But she doesn't recognise him and takes on the might of the LAPD to prove that she's right. A gripping tale of a mother's love and determination in the face of massive corruption and carried by a very convincing performance from Angelina Jolie. This is not an enjoyable movie but it's one that will move you and make you righteously angry.

No Home Movie   Mon   13/1   Film4 @ 01.30

Filmmaker Chantal Akerman films her conversations with her Mother, an elderly woman who survived the nazi death camps in Poland. Their chats are in person and online and this documentary is far more intriguing than I'm making it sound. It's a beautiful and very intimate depiction of the bond between parent and child, one that's both droll and upsetting. Sadly both women passed away within a year of it's release.

Strangers On A Train   Mon   13/1   TCM @ 18.55

Two men meet on a train, talk ensues and one disturbed party takes the conversation a lot more seriously than the other. One of Alfred Hitchcock's most gleefully delightful movies. You get the sense he had a whale of a time making this. The tension is electric and Robert Walker as Bruno is a villain for the ages. Fairley Granger ain't too bad either. The tennis club scene will stay with you and watch out of course for the customary director cameo.

The Nice Guys   Wed   15/1   ITV4 @ 22.00

The death of a porn star and the case of a missing woman bring two very different private investigators together in 1970's Los Angeles. Shane Black's 2016 film is a touch overlong and a little bit muddled but it is an amusing and surprisingly violent watch held together by two solid performances from Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe who bounce off each other well and display some decent comedy chops.

Making The Grade   Thur   16/1   RTE1 @ 22.15

1000's of people all over Ireland learn the piano and every year they have exams to earn a grade. The 8th grade is the target they all strive for, the pinnacle of learning. Some find it easy while others have to struggle. This Irish documentary is about the students and teachers take part. It's a joy of a watch, far more interesting and entertaining than you would imagine. A lovely, touching and very human 100 mins.

Dead Man's Shoes    Thur   16/1   Film4 @ 23.20

A man returns to his hometown to get revenge on the people who tormented his brother. Yes I know it sounds cliched as hell but this is a film that packs a serious whallop. Imagine if Emmerdale was crossed with a slasher film and then stained with a dollop of very black humour and some horribly realistic carnage. Paddy Considine is just immense in this tense, nauseating, gripping and comical (in places) film.

The Master   Fri   17/1   Film4 @ 01.05

A WW2 veteran struggling to adjust to civilian life finds solace in the arms of a religious movement that accepts him for what he is. Paul Thomas Anderson's movie is definitely not for everyone but if you can stick with it you'll find it a very rewarding experience. Joaquin Phoenix is super in the lead but the film belongs to the much missed Philip Seymour Hoffman as the man in charge. Amy Adams is also pretty much perfect in this.

Uncut Gems

When final zoom in of Uncut Gems turns to black all you'll be fit for is your bed. Not because the film is bad though, but because it is truly exhausting. You'll be wrecked. You'll feel like you just did a full circuit of Ninja Warrior and a triathlon back to back. Then to top it off you'll have a strange new appreciation for Adam Sandler and if that's not cause to take to the cot I don't know what is.

Howard Ratner (Adam Sandler) is the most annoying person you'll ever met. According to his wife anyway. He's an asshole (we're introduced to him colon first btw), an egotistical and extremely selfish diamond dealer who lives for the thrill of the flutter. His life, when he isn't working in his shop or dealing with his estranged wife Dinah (Idina Menzel) is all about betting on basketball. When Howard bets, he bets big and when a Boston Celtics player by the name of Kevin Garnett (playing himself) falls for a big piece of uncut opal in his shop Howard thinks his luck has come in. Unfortunately for him he's up to his eyeballs in debt to a vicious loanshark called Arno (Eric Bogosian) and Arno's henchman Phil is getting mightily sick of the way Howard doesn't take his predicament seriously.

I was in the minority with the Safdie brothers last film, 2017's Good Time but this time they got me. There's nothing particularly new or fresh here but my word it's a pulsating and exciting watch. Like the city it's set in everything is heightened, everyone is stressed, everything is utter fucking DRAMA, making it a nailbiting watch. Even a simple conversation is a lesson in high tension. It's brilliantly done, not much happens and it still seems like the end of the world. Everything is down to Howard, his decisions, his awful decisions that effect everyone. You want to grab him and shake sense into him. He's a monster but an unmistakably human one, full of flaws and weaknesses. His uncontrolled id and selfish need to answer every urge make him into a character who'll enrage you but one you can't take your eyes off especially when everything comes to a bloody head. During a conversation with his doctor about his digestive system he talks about a lot of Jewish people dying from stomach issues caused by stress. If they're anything like Howard I can see why.

Adam Sandler is brilliant in the part. Funny, hateful, a Hebrew bull in a china shop. He's at the eye of the storm throughout the movie and he carries it effortlessly. There's been a lot of reasons to give up on him throughout this century but jesus he's mighty here. You have to ask yourself why he doesn't do more work like this. He's well capable of it and it's great to see a bit of life back in his eyes again. Is he afraid of alienating his core audience? I hope not because anyone who enjoyed his Netflix output of late deserves a kick up the arse (Ironically Netflix are distributing this).  There's flashes of the humour and rage he's best known for but his Howard isn't really like anything he's done before. He's quite remarkable in fact. He's a one man stress test who manages to make the wrong choice every single time. Honestly, this film is not good for the heart. #Anxiety

It's Sandler's show but everyone adds to the stew. Idina Menzel's Dinah is great. The moment she bubbles over and speaks her truth will cut you through the cinema screen. It's that good, a moment that you sense has been decades in the making and her laughter afterwards is cathartic even for us. Keith Williams Richards as the hair trigger henchman Phil is as scary as any Joe Pesci creation and in his acting debut basketball star Kevin Garnett really does well. Judd Hirsch performs his Jewish father figure ™ reliably as always, that mix of humour, annoyance and fear he has down to a tee. One brilliant sequence sees him letting himself be talked into a very very ill thought out plan and it's consequences are both hilarious and nerve wracking. Every cast member brings something to the table (keep an eye out for the bizarre cameo from John Amos, the original Kunta Kinte) but Adam Sandler is the hero of the day here. He is amazing to watch.

An immensely stressful but very entertaining film. It's well worth your time and it will give you an new appreciation for an actor you've probably written off decades ago. In selected cinemas now and on Netflix at the end of the month.

The moments that ever get old - The Great Escape

Virgil Hilts is on the run. Him and 75 other prisoners of war have escaped from a new high security prison camp run by Luftwaffe Colonel von Luger and now he's on his own. Being the crafty bastard he is he's got a bike and a german uniform and the Alps and beyond them, neutral Switzerland, are in his sights. The only thing in his way is a rather large double fence.

We all know how this one goes but it never stops being a joy to watch. The glorious scenery all around. That music. the fact that it's actually Steve McQueen on the bike and not a stunt double. Ok, we know it's not him pulling off that famous jump (still considered on of the best ever bike jumps captured on film btw) but it doesn't matter. You gotta love that movie magic. And you have to admire Hilt's never say die spirit. Surrounded on all side, prowling the field like a wounded animal, no escape but still trying before wiping out in a blaze of barbed wire and diesel smoke. Then best of all, my favourite thing about this scene and one of the all time great moments of cinema. His sneer at his captors. "Yeah you've caught me, what are you going to do about it?" A sneer that shows he doesn't give a fuck. A sneer that shows his extreme lack of respect for the enemy. A sneer that says he's going to escape again as soon as he get the chance. 

Brilliantly cool. And on Netflix now if somehow you've never seen it.

Dale Dickey. Another unsung hero of TV & Film

Dale Dickey. You'll definitely recognise her face if you've watched a film or a tv show in the last few years. Someone who seems like they've been around forever but she came to the acting profession late at the age of 34. She's wasted no time though. 121 acting credits to her name in 25 years. A turnover that would make actors and actresses a third of her age feel tired and weary.

Her first film was a lesbian love story at a time when such a thing was incredibly rare but she's been ahead of the pack a lot of the time. Early roles in TV shows before they became massive. Supporting roles in movie franchises before they went supernova. Backing up actresses behind they became mega stars. She's like a lucky charm and hopefully someday her time will come too. She's crushed heads as a strung out speedfreak. She's dealt with Mulder and Scully and Cagney and Lacey and Frasier and Niles. Survived Trailer Parks of Terror and JJ Abrams alien attacks. Been directed by Clint Eastwood, Shane Black, Tony Scott, Gregg Araki and Sean Penn. She's been a saviour of Tony Stark and a pain in the neck for Raylan Givens. Had her nose broken in the best film of 2016 and popped up in some of the best TV shows of this century. Horror, western, comedy, fantasy, scifi, drama, thriller, she's literally done it all and done it all brilliantly. Check out her resume. 

Greatest hits

My Name Is Earl - Patty, the daytime hooker. Well versed in enticing men with her one good boob.

Winter's Bone - Merab. Sinister, clever, a hidden power in the Ozarks and a source of big trouble for poor Jennifer Lawrence. A stunning turn.

Hell Or High Water. Elsie, bank teller and first person to encounter the Brothers Howard on their crime spree. A small part but very memorable.

Breaking Bad - a one episode role but a very nasty one. One half of a meth addicted couple who does not like being called a skank. 

Unbelievable. Rosemarie. Veteran cop and a maternal figure in the force. A source of much need humour in a very dark show.

Previous heroes

Vondie Curtis-Hall
Harris Yulin
Pepe Serna
Udo Kier
Fairuza Balk
Ernie Hudson
Lin Shaye
James Remar
Cloris Leachman
James Hong
David Strathairn
Frankie Faison
Conchata Ferrell
Dick Miller
Veronica Cartwright
Edie McClurg
Barry Shabaka Henley           
Raymond Cruz                        
Reg E.Cathey                          
Elizabeth McGovern               
John Amos                              
Bruce Greenwood                  
Mary McDonnell                     
Gerald McSorley                       
John Rothman                        
Margo Martindale                   
Kurtwood Smith                     
Paula Malcolmson                 
Luis Guzman                          
David Morse                           
Linda Hunt                              
Keith David                             
Zeljko Ivanek
Fiona Shaw
Xander Berkeley
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
C.C.H Pounder
William Forsythe
Beth Grant
Sven-Ole Thorsen
Regina King
Ric Young
Mark Rolston
Illeana Douglas
Jeanette Goldstein
Al Leong
Allan Graf
Bill Nunn
Thomas Rosales Jr

First holidays in ages

I'm off to Barcelona tomorrow week. To say i'm excited is an understatement as I haven't been anywhere foreign in years. Been in most European countries but never Spain. Closest I've been is Toulouse but this it. Yeehaw. I asked for info on places to visit from twitter and everyone told me I'd get pickpocketed. One woman told me it was a near certainty. That's always good to hear. But fuck it, can't be stressing about that.

Ok. Checklist time.

Eireagle bus to Dublin airport. Sorted.

Airport plan. Sorted.

Suitcase. Sorted.

Daybag. Sorted.

Passport. In date.

Cash. Sorted.

Debit card. Sorted.

Hotel booking printed out. Sorted.

Journey from airport to accommodation. TO FIGURE OUT.

Adapter for phone charger. TO BUY.

Check in online for flight. TO DO.

Freaking about about little details. TO DO.

Panicking about location of passport. TO DO.

Not sleeping the night before. TO DO.

I can't wait!

Crown Vic

Crown Vic is a confused film. Is it a paean to the hard working, misunderstood men in blue or is it a damning indictment of a job that both corrupts and destroys the people who do it. I don't think it knows and so it tries to be both and it doesn't really work. It starts off motor pool cliched, takes a pretty interesting turn down minutiae avenue, swerves onto exposition boulevard before crashing into predictability square.

It's Officer Nick Holland's (Luke Kleintank) first night on patrol as an LAPD cop. He's the new guy, the boot, and as such he's paired with an experienced partner. Officer Ray Mandel (Thomas Jane) has been on the job for 25 years. He drives the Crown Vic and he's seen it all, nothing phases him, he's cool, calm and collected. Nick and Ray are chalk and cheese and unfortunately for them their first night together has coincided with a bank robbery carried out by a pair of cop killers with nothing to lose.

Look at that plot description. It's every cop film trope and cliche in the book thrown together and you might think in 2020 you might be in for something fresh, a new perspective on an old story. You'd be wrong. It's first couple of minutes are high octane viewing, a car chase and shootout where no prisoners are taken. It's breathless stuff and then everything slows right down. We meet our leads, their relationship is exactly how you'd expect, exactly. It's groanworthy, we've seen this a 1000 times before. But then we get to spend some time with them doing the things you don't usually see on film, the gruntwork, the shitty jobs, the drunks, the unhinged. It's a solid, workmanlike, look at a job no one would want to do. Then the usual nonsense creeps back in, the same ol' dodgy cops, burned out by the job, im so crazy, yeah motherfucker!! ding dong that's been boring us in cop movies since Martin Riggs did it back in 1987. Josh Hopkins and David Krumholtz turn up as two cops who've been on the job way too long. Krumholtz brings a slimy, shuddery venality to the table but Hopkins acts like he's aiming for the Al Pacino ham crown and it's painful to look at. And all the while that beginning is hanging over the film, waiting for it's turn to slot into the narrative again, and when it finally does.....well it's underwhelming to say the least.

Crown Vic has a lot to say and it's more than happy to share it's many, many thoughts. Society doesn't understand cops. Cops are troubled by normality. The job is a destroyer of lives, marriages and minds but at the same time it's a brilliant job, you really feel like you're doing good.It feels confused and hypocritical, and especially so when it's coming from the same person, in this case Ray Mandel. The veteran, a cop oracle. Thomas Jane brings an air of authority to the role but it's not enough, especially when his character gets saddled with subplots that go nowhere in an attempt to add shades of grey to a film already slathered in them. One action late in the film is a troubling but interesting turn that had potential to take the story off in a whole new direction but like earlier asides it just goes nowhere when the film just ends abruptly.

Crown Vic is a strange brew. A messy look at the world from a cop bubble. It's at once propaganda and indictment. Occasional flashes of interest aside it's not one to seek out.

10 films on TV for the week ahead

Atomic Blonde   Sat   4/1   CH4 @ 21.00

Lorraine Broughton is a British spy on a mission in Cold War Berlin. An SIS agent has been murdered and she must use her special set of skills to figure out who and why. The film itself is a little muddled and messy but Charlize Theron is on fire here and a couple of spectacularly violent and brilliantly put together action scenes will pin you to your chair. James McAvoy is entertaining as a fellow man at arms.

Juno   Sat   4/1   TG4 @ 21.45

Juno is 16. Juno is pregnant. The baby's father is a terrified 16 year old too. Juno's parents are angry but supportive. She's going to give the baby up for adoption. She thinks. Diablo Cody's 2007 comedy drama is a beautiful thing. Hilarious, upsetting, warm, clever and with a killer soundtrack. Ellen Page plays Juno flawlessly and the cast of Michael Cera, Allison Janney, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner and J.K. Simmons all do splendid work.

For A Few Dollars More   Sat   4/1   BBC2 @ 23.10

A bounty hunter by the name of Banco is chasing a gang lead by El Indio. To share the load he teams up with another hunter called Mortimer. Bullets are about to fly and blood is definitely going to spill. The 2nd film in Sergio Leone's Man With No Name trilogy is a masterpiece. A quirky, darkly humorous and surprisingly vicious spaghetti western. Clint Eastwood does his laconic thing and Lee Van Cleef uses his edgy persona to maximum effect.

The Man Who Would Be King   Sun   5/1   RTE2 @ 14.35

Daniel and Peachy are two English soldiers in India. They've had enough of having nothing and decide to set off in search of riches. This adaption of a Rudyard Kipling novel is very enjoyable indeed. It's old fashioned stuff but it's pure & utter escapism. A perfect watch for a rainy sunday afternoon. Sean Connery and Michael Caine have great fun as the leads. Christopher Plummer pops up as Kipling himself too.

Mustang   Sun   5/1   BBC2 @ midnight

5 young Turkish girls play innocently with boys on their way home from school. This simple act sets off a scandal in their religious town and before long all their freedom is taken from them. This 2015 film is a stunner. A vital watch that's full of life but also full of pain and sadness. Superlative acting throughout but Güneş Şensoy as little Lale is amazing. Definitely my film of the week.

Atonement   Mon   6/1   TG4 @ 21.30

A moment of teenage jealousy causes a young girl to tell a lie and the effects of that lie haunt her for the next 60 years of her life. Director Joe Wright's adaption of Ian MacEwan's book is a devastating and beautiful looking film about the power of words and the damage they can do in the wrong hands. Superb acting abounds as well from Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Vanessa Redgrave & a baby faced Saoirse Ronan.

Splice   Tues   7/1   The Horror Channel @ 22.50

A pair of genetic engineers design a creature made from the DNA of different animals combined with a dash of human. Not surprisingly things go arseways. This 2009 horror thriller is an intriguing look at ethical responsibility and the dangers of playing god in an area of untold power. Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley do solid work here but Delphine Chanéac's part as Dren is the one you'll remember. Not for the faint of heart.

Get Out   Thur   9/1   Film4 @ 21.00

Chris goes to visit his girlfriend's family for the weekend. He's black. They're white. It's a weekend he'll never forget. Jordan Peele's horror comedy is a cracker. A genuine genre masterpiece & social commentary par excellence. A very timely watch combining cringe, terror, belly laughs and one laced with subtext. Daniel Kaluuya is a mighty lead and Bradley Whitford, Catherine Keener and Lil Rel Howery all rock in supporting roles.

Heaven Knows, Mr Allison   Fri   10/1   Film4 @ 14.25

1944. The Pacific Ocean. An American soldier and an Irish nun are stranded together on an island during World War 2. The island is a paradise and food is plentiful. Life is good until the enemy appears. A very pleasant afternoon watch, funny, thrilling and even a little bit romantic in places. Deborah Kerr and Robert Mitchum are a pair of effective leads and the chemistry is only mighty.

The Babadook   Fri   10/1   Syfy @ 23.00

Amelia's existence is a miserable one. Her husband died the day she gave birth and her relationship with her son is a fraught one. And that's even before a supernatural presence enters the fray. Jennifer Kent's film debut is a genuinely unnerving watch, a film that understands that the scariest things in life are the things living in our own heads. Essie Davis and Noah Wiseman both do amazing work.

The Gentlemen

In 1998 Guy Ritchie burst onto the screen with Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Full of snarling baddies, cockney accents, drugs, guns and a hefty portion of profanity. It was a huge success. Over the years he's dipped his toes into historical action, 60's spy capers, Disney CGI fests & Victorian thrillers but he never forgot his first love, the London gangster flick. 21 years later he's back where he started. Nothing much has changed, rough edges have been smoothed, the hyper active camera work has calmed a bit but the fun has remained. The Gentlemen is fun. Fackin' fun indeed.

Mickey Pearson (Matthew McConaughey) is selling up and moving on to spend more time with his wife Rosalind (Michelle Dockery). His marijuana business is massive and everyone wants it. Mickey has decided to sell to a yank called Berger (Jeremy Strong) but other interested parties are trying to put a stop to that. A dodgy private eye called Fletcher (Hugh Grant) has the inside scoop and he wants to sell the information to Mickey's skeptical second in command, Raymond (Charlie Hunnam). Meanwhile a Chinese gangster called Dry Eye (Henry Golding) and an Irish boxing coach (Colin Farrell) who goes by the name of....well...Coach get sucked into the vortex of madness created the pursuit of power.

The Gentlemen is a laugh from beginning to end but it suffers needlessly from Ritchie's insistence on a fractured narrative and a silly framing device that confuses a simple story. There's no need for it at all because there's enough going on and enough of a game cast to keep a linear story flowing nice and smoothly without the need for pointless mental gymnastics. It worked back in 2000 with Snatch because it felt fresh but now it just gets in the way of the fun. And fun there is. Loads of it. Drill inspired fight porn (it's a thing), giddiness over bespoke barbeques, gravity taking its toll on bad guys, uniquely disgusting blackmail techniques, free roaming laws vs free enterprise and of course Coach. Colin Farrell's Coach is a priceless creation and one that deserves his own story. He's used sparingly here but to great effect. A pie shop showdown, the semantics of race, insults and friendship, his questionable wardrobe choices, the poetic way F & C words pour off his tongue, the morning after a porcine encounter and so on. Farrell, as he tends to do when playing a supporting role steals the show but this cast has plenty going on.

McConaughey lays on his usual charm but this time there's a violent edge that gives his scenes a nice air of unpredictability and that famous smile of his is used to fine effect in a moment Long Good Friday fans will recognise instantly. Michelle Dockery doesn't get much to do but a couple of fun moments dilute the masculinity on display. Paper weights eh? Grant's predatory and seedy private eye Fletcher showcases a side of him we've rarely seen on screen before and while he does seem to be channeling Michael Caine a bit too much in places he does well. Fletcher's a venal, slimy bastard and though his plotline takes a cringy and well, odd meta turn near the end he's a memorable creation. Of the main cast only Hunnam doesn't make much of an impact, confined mostly to a kitchen table as a captive audience to Grant's unreliable narrator. The man does roll and smoke joint well though, I've got to give him that.

Guy Ritchie's return to the genre that made him is messy and overcomplicated but it's so much fun that it's downsides are easy to overlook. This more than makes up for his dull Man From Uncle reboot, his godawful trip to King Arthur's times and his mega bucks but bland Aladdin adventure. Colin Farrell's turn is the one you'll remember when it's over too. Big Chris, Hatchet Harry, Brick Top, Mickey O'Neill and now Coach. Not bad company really. Give him his own film please.

Jojo Rabbit

"Make her feel safe and she will drop her guard and then you will be the one in control."

"Reverse psychology?"

"Don't complicate things. Just use my backwards mindpower trick."

It feels weird to laugh along with Hitler. But Jojo Rabbit is a weird film. It's audacious. It's downright hilarious in places but in 2020 it's a very odd one to place.

Johannes Betzler (Roman Griffin Davis, excellent) is a young boy in the Hitler Youth during the late stages of World War 2. He's trying his hardest to live up the aul Adolf's ideals but when he can't even bring himself to kill a rabbit he earns his titular nickname and ends up delivering anti Jewish propaganda around his small town. He lives with his mother Rosie (Scarlet Johannson) who isn't exactly enamoured with his political beliefs and every day is a struggle to just survive as the approaching allied forces are having a huge effect on food supplies. All Jojo has is his friend Yorki and his imaginary friend Adolf (yup, that one). One day he discovers a teenage girl called Elsa (Thomasin McKenzie) living in the crawlspace of his house and he's horrified to learn she's a Jew. Now Jojo is torn between his ideology and his humanity. With the Gestapo executing traitors everyday just what will he do?

This film is weird as hell. Even by Taika Waititi standards it's a bizarre one. Warmth & kindness juxtaposed with atrocity. Slapstick humour leading into executions. A child's smile crumbling into a shrieking grimace. A film that takes aim at the evils of nazism but one that humanises them as well. It's a jumble, messy, a well meaning story but messy. A 12 cert look at one of the worst periods in human history. Awful, violent things happen but we never witness them, only the barest aftermath. A satirical look at the worst people shouldn't be afraid of showing them at their worst. There's stuff here you'll gasp at alright, children turned into suicide bombers, the ridiculous anti-semitic canards bought into wholesale by national socialists but it all feels tempered by Waititi's (and ultimately Disney who now own Fox pictures) unwillingness to go as dark as the material requires.

Oddness aside there's no denying some of it is very funny. Jojo's friend Yorki's line about the distinctly non Aryan look of certain Axis members is a proper belly laugh as his clumsy handling of munitions. Rebel Wilson's brusque and vicious Fräulein Rahm is an inspired creation and for once it gives her something to do instead of falling over or telling self deprecating weight jokes. Sam Rockwell who's always good value in a comedy role does well as Captain Klenzendorf, the drink sodden Hitler Youth leader who definitely wouldn't fit into the nazi idea of a master race. Waititi's sense of whimsy and quirkiness is present and correct here but it clashes constantly with the abrupt tonal turns a story like this has to take. It just doesn't sit right. This light and dark approach worked brilliantly with his last film, the wonder Hunt For The Wilderpeople but not so much against a non fictional backdrop. 

Roman Griffin Davis as Jojo does a lovely job though. The good nature of a child rebelling against the brainwashing of adults and the whole struggle painted across his face. Against all odds you'll find yourself empathising with a little nazi. Luckily Waititi himself plays the imaginary Hitler as broadly and nastily as possible so we never forget the bigger picture. The image of him and his ridiculous moustache bounding acrobatically around a forest is one you'll find hard to forget. This isn't a subtle film but he acts his part as bluntly and broadly as possible. Thomasin McKenzie's Elsa is well played but ultimately she's a plot point, a source of tension for Jojo and his mother. It would have been nice to see the film's outlier get a more well rounded part to play.

It's nice to see unusual films like this appearing in the cinema and chances are you'll never see anything like this again. It's just a pity it wasn't allowed to be riskier, allowed to have real weight and a real sense of just how dangerous hate can be. In a world that's rapidly heading to the right we need to be hit over the head with this fact because it just doesn't seem to be getting through to people.

Best cinema experience of 2019

Huge spoilers.

The bloke beside me was easily in his 40s. I'd worked with him years before but couldn't remember his name as we talked about the film we were about to watch. He told me his wife had refused point blank to see the film with him but was pissed off he'd gone without her. As the film ended with a couple enjoyed a well earned slow dance in the living room of their house he turned to me, tears pissing down his face and laughed "Now do you understand why she wouldn't come."

The film was Avengers : Endgame and it was the best cinematic experience of the year for me. Not the best film of course, no, far from it, but watching it on its opening day with an audience who, like me, had been with these characters through 20 odd films just felt rather special.

The buzz in the air was mighty. Would the film live up to the expectations weighing down on it? Were we all Marvel'd out after seeing Captain Marvel only weeks before? Could the film please everyone? Would every character get their deserved screentime? Of course everyone wouldn't be happy but it did enough right to entertain the hell out of the audience in the Maxx Omniplex screen that rainy April afternoon.

Giddy children laughing at Tony Stark one liners they couldn't possibly understand. Grown adults surging forward in their chairs and screaming with joy as Captain America finally got his hands on Thor's might hammer (fnarr). The pantomime like moment when someone shouted "Kill the bastard" just as Thanos gets decapitated early on. The glee at Loki becoming a thing again. The disbelief at Black Widow's massive offering to mankind. The big laugh at Thor channelling The Dude Lebowski. The woman in the row behind me saying "cool" quietly to herself when the heroines of the day teamed up to massacre the bad guys. The FUCK YEAH! moment when all the Avengers killed in Infinity war emerged ready to battle. Kids bouncing off the ceiling at Peter Parker's triumphant return. Sniffles of sadness around the auditorium as  Tony is put to rest after his huge sacrifice and then sniffles of happiness as Captain America gets to go back and live the life he deserved with the woman he loved. And of course the sense of satisfaction as the credits rolled. The weight of expectation and the hype had been met. Phew. 

People get sniffy about blockbuster movies in the cinema but nothing brings a crowd together like them. An arty Ecuadorean B&W (of course) film about deaf rice growers might be what does it for you but it's not going to make for a great communal experience and at the end of the day that's what the cinema has always been, a communal experience. Gowls with mobile phones are an issue but when a film works this well for a big crowd it's easy to ignore the muppets.

I loved that screening. I mightn't ever watch the film again but jesus that was an enjoyable 180 minutes.

Feliz navidad y'all

It's Christmas Day.

If you love it I hope you have a great time. Enjoy it cos it will be over fast.

If you don't I hope you have some peace for the day and that it goes by fast for you.

Just don't lose sight of what the day's about.

Ham. Big glorious slabs of ham.

Best & worst of 2019

It's been a fine year in the cinema. Some of the bigger films films may have disappointed but so many of them hit the spot.

My top 10

Deadwood

A perfect film finish to a perfect tv show. So much better than I ever expected. Emotional, brutal, genuinely upsetting and very cathartic with a final line of dialogue for the ages.

Wild Rose

A young woman in Glasgow wants to be a famous singer. We go along for the ride with her. Jessie Buckley is mindblowing here. A good, old fashioned rags to riches story with a nice edge to it.

The Sisters Brothers

The best western I've seen in years. One of the most beautiful too. Who would have thought a simple smile across a table between 2 brothers would be one of the best moments of the year.

Extra Ordinary

The Irish horror/comedy we never knew we needed. The funniest 94 minutes of the year. Terror, gore, proper belly laughs, potholes, ectoplasm, just the tip and a brilliant Maeve Higgins in the lead.

Border

Tina's a Swedish customs agent with a difference. She can smell bad people. A modern day fairytale but not a family friendly one. Far from it. A hard film to take about without spoiling it. Eva Melander is amazing in the lead.

Fighting With My Family

The story of Paige, the WWE wrestler who deserved and achieved her dreams. Stephen Merchant's comedy drama hit the spot with it's blend of humour, pathos and metal chairs across the face. 

Stan & Ollie

Watching this was like being knocked over by a wave of nostalgia. A beautiful and heartwarming biopic done just right. Steve Coogan's Stan steals the show.

The Peanut Butter Falcon

This modern take on the story of Jack Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn lived up to its roots. 2 friends go on and adventure together and we get to go along for the ride. Zack Gottsagen should be a star.

The Irishman

Scorsese had us fearing the worst but this elegiac ode to aging was an amazing return to gangster cinema. That scene of Pesci and De Niro breaking bread together. Just sublime.

Lords Of Chaos

The story I'd waited 20+ years to see on screen did not disappoint. Murder, mayhem, anarchy. A gut wrenching and blackly funny look at the stupid things people will do to feel legitimate. Best film of the year for me.

Also rans

I Lost My Body
Little Women
The Nightingale
The Dig
The Highwaymen
For Sama
Booksmart
Shazam
Crawl
One Cut Of The Dead
Hustlers
Diego Maradona

The best death scene

Midsommar. Ättestupa. Shudder.

Best musical outburst

Blinded By The Light. The market stall Thunder Road singalong.

Biggest scare

All of Brightburn. A genuinely unsettling watch that everyone ignored.

Star of the year

Florence Pugh. No question.

Best audience reaction

Cliff fights back. Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.

Jaw dropping moment of the year

The opening 5 minutes of The Dirt

Best moment when men claim to get dust in their eye

Cap's dance in Endgame/the end of Departures

Best ride

Extra Ordinary. A life saving shag. Literally.

Best laugh

Spiderman : Far From Home. Mr Harrington's wife and her snap experience.

Best baddie

Pat Shortt in Dark Lies The Island. A venal, life shattering bastard.

Biggest disappointment

The Kitchen. Melissa McCarthy. Elisabeth Moss. Domhnall Gleeson. Gangsters and gun. Laughable.

Most unintentionally funny

The big death in X-Men : Dark Phoenix. An insult to a once fine series.

Worst films of the year

Welcome To Marwen. Septic.
Jay And Silent Bob Reboot. Putrid.
Polar. Vomitous.
Men In Black International. Nauseating.
Holmes & Watson. I'd rather go blind than see this again.
Thank You Come Again. Made me feel ashamed to be Irish.