My favourite remake is David Cronenberg's remake of The Fly. Made back in 1986 in a time before Jeff Goldblum became intensely creepy and when practical special effects ruled the roost and when major film studios would give auteurs like Cronenerg the money and the freedom to do what they wanted. The result is a horror movie that would make you think, make you want to puke and break your heart all at the same time.
Matt Damon is looking grizzled and grumpy and every one of his 51 years. He's the strong silent type and he's on his way from Oklahoma to Europe to right a wrong and kick some motherfuckin' ass, Liam Neeson style, in the name of the US of fuckin' A. Well that's what you might be expecting from this but it's not the story you're going to get. Nope, Stillwater, the new film from Tom McCarthy is a mature undertaking. It's also very very long. Like really long.
Bill Baker (Damon) has been travelling to Marseille regularly over the last four years to visit his daughter Allison (Abigail Breslin), who's been in jail all that time after being found guilty in a French court of murdering her girlfriend after a night out. She's been trying unsuccessfully to have her defence lawyer get her case looked at again but the lack of evidence is keeping everything stalled. Frustrated with the system and worried about his daughter, Bill decides to investigate his daughter's claims himself and his lack of French sees him asking his neighbour Virginie (Camille Cottin) for help with translation. As he delves deeper into the seamier side of Marseille he finds himself growing closer and closer to Virginie and her lovely daughter Maya (Lilou Siauvaud). Will an American in Provence find justice and love?
Tom McCarthy's follow up to Spotlight is two films in one. The first (kinda sorta based on the Amanda Knox case) is a pretty half hearted story about a father trying to make up for the sins of his past by fixing his daughters future. The second is the story of a man getting a second chance at life and grabbing hold of an opportunity. The second story is far superior and at points the chemistry between Bill, Virginie and Maya will make you forget all about Allison rotting away in jail. You'll get so wrapped up in it that when the film cuts to one of it's many visiting room scenes between father and daughter you'll want it to be over with so you can get back to burgeoning domestic bliss. There's warmth, fun and a surprising amount of humour here as a relationship that started as a plot device begins to feel real. And unlike the other half of the story it doesn't feel contrived. Or well, it grows out of it's contrived origins.
Those pesky plot contrivances though. When badly done they'll always take you out of a film and the big one in Stillwater will make you roll your eyes hard. A massive coincidence at a sporting event is the point where the investigation part of the story really kicks off and it's so unconvincing you'll have a hard time swallowing it. That said, that part of the story does spin off in an unexpected direction eventually but it's all wrapped up so suddenly that you get the feeling that writer's McCarthy and Thomas Bidegain were more interested in one side of the story than the other. Intertwining two stories has another side effect too, the bum numbing kind. At 140 minutes we have a running time more suited to a Marvel film than a drama and it's a rare film of any kind that needs to be this long.
Damon, not surprisingly, gets the lion's share of that running time and his everyman Bill is a solid creation, not particularly likeable at first but you'll warm to him as Virginie and Maya get him to open up. Camille Cottin as Virginie exudes warmth but it's little Lilou Siauvaud who steals the show as the football loving, burger devouring, secret keeping heart of the film. Abigail Breslin, who the entire film is ostensibly about feels forgotten about in places, only really getting to shine when she gets away from the prison visiting room. One line of hers resonates throughout, 'Life is brutal.' It can be but as you'll see in the better part of this film, it's not always.
Stillwater is out in the cinemas now everywhere.
BOND! Of course. What else could it be. 25 films. 20 of the are good/great. That's a serious batting average.
This Must Be The Place Sat 7/8 TG4 @ 23.00
Cheyenne is an ex rock star living out his retirement in Dublin. He's a man haunted by his past and when he attends his father's funeral he finds out his father has lived through similar. This starts off as a character piece and ends up as a road trip movie. It's an odd watch but an interesting one that's driven by an mammoth performance from a very different Sean Penn. Keep an eye out for Eve Hewson in her major debut role.
The Return Of The Living Dead Sat 7/8 Film4 @ 23.25
A strange gas is leaking out of mystery cylinders and it's having a weird effect on those who tampered with it. Oh, and it's also making the dead rise and those dead folks are hungry. FOR BRAINS! Dan O'Bannon's 1984 comedy horror is a joy, a film that's as funny as it is gory. Keep an eye out for genre faces like Linnea Quigley and Clu Galager, enjoy the punk soundtrack and cower when the infamous Tarman hits the screen.
The Outlaw Josey Wales Sat 7/8 RTE1 @ 23.40
A man loses his family to a renegade pack of union soldiers during the US civil war & while out for revenge slowly but surely creates a new life for himself and those following him. It's harsh in places but it's one of the best westerns ever made. Epic in sweep, full of action & understated humour, immensely quotable and just packed with great performances. Clint rocks it and John Vernon & Sam Bottoms are at their best. Give it a go. It's poetry.
Racer And The Jailbird Sun 8/8 Film4 @ 01.15
Bibi's a racing driver. Gigi's a gangster. When they meet in Brussells sparks fly. But not romantic sparks. No these are sparks that can cause chaos and destruction. A love story that rapidly turns into something else, it's messy and choppy but it's appealing and original too. Matthias Schoenaerts as Gigi and Adèle Exarchopoulos as Bibi make for a convincing couple who you'll want to see happy despite their many antics.
Red River Sun 8/8 ITV4 @ 13.00
Tom Dunston has 10,000 cattle to bring to market and 1,000 miles of open terrain to move them across. A task easier said than done when the men hired to work for him start turning on him. Howard Hawke's 1948 western is a true classic. An earthy and authentic look at the hardships of the era. There's an interesting subtext here too, one often present in westerns but rarely commented on. John Wayne, Montgomery Clift and Water Brennan all do masterful work.
The Truman Show Sun 8/8 Great! Movies (Formerly Sony Movies) @ 18.55
Truman is starting to notice weird things in his everyday life, recurring patterns and strange behaviour from his friends and family. One day someone he used to know confronts him in the street and turns his life upside down. Jim Carrey has never been better than he is here, a brilliant film about the artificiality of our lives and how we choose to spend our time. It's a mindblowing watch and if you haven't seen it I'm very jealous.
The Reef Mon 9/8 The Horror Channel @ 00.55
A group of friends sailing from Australia to Indonesia aboard a yacht they have to deliver to a client find themselves in a wee spot of bother when coral damages their transport and the denizens of the deep begin to rise looking for food. It's a shark film but the shark is only one source of danger in this nail biter that proves that people really should stay on dry land. Zoe Naylor is the stand out here.
To Die For Mon 9/8 Talking Pictures TV @ 21.00
Susan wants, nay, needs to be famous. Working hard has got her to the edge of stardom but a bullying husband is jeopardising all of her plans. So she seduces a teenager to kill him. What could go wrong there? Gus Van Sant's satire of the American dream is a mean, cutting film but it's also laced with some delightfully dark wit to take the edge off. Nicole Kidman, Joaquin Phoenix and Matt Dillon lead a cast loaded with recognisable faces.
Menashe Tues 10/8 Film4 @ 02.20
It's been a tough year for Menashe, a Hasidic Jewish man living and working in Brooklyn. His wife passed away and he lost custody of his son but he's determined to get his life back together. An interesting and quite in-depth look at a culture that's always been underserved in film and a stressful look at the restrictions we allow organised religion to place on us. Menashe Lustig does wonders in his debut role.
Species Tues 10/8 ITV4 @ 23.40
Not all visitors from outer space are mad about M&M's like ET or want to burst out of your chest like the ones from Alien. Nope, some just want a bit of loving. Sil is one of them, on the run from a lab with governments agents close behind. This sex & violence filled romp garnered tabloid headlines on it's release but it's actually a pretty decent scifi/thriller with a nice sideline in body horror. A fine cast includes Natasha Henstridge, Forrest Whitaker, Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina.
How To Get Ahead In Advertising Wed 11/8 Film4 @ 01.50
Denis is an ad man and he's worried about his job. The worry is starting to manifest physically as a boil on Denis's shoulder. It's not your common or garden type of boil though, no, this one's special. Bruce Robinson's follow up to Withnail & I is a farcial and often quite hilarious look at the insane pressures people put themselves under to make a name for themselves. Richard E. Grant gives an performance for the ages here.
The Bling Ring Wed 11/8 BBC2 @ 23.15
A group of teens in Hollywood realise there's a lot of easy pickings to be had from the lifestyles of the rich and famous. They want it so why can't they have it? Kids today eh? Sofia Coppola's 2013 real life(ish) drama is an attractive looking, darkly humorous and unsettling look at the cult of celebrity and it's effect on the young and restless. Taissa Farmiga and Emma Watson stand out among an energetic cast.
A Canterbury Tale Thur 12/8 Talking Pictures TV @ 11.15
Three strangers find themselves working together to solve a sticky mystery in a small town during World War II. The main suspect is a strange one, a man with a bizarre outlook on life. The sixth collaboration between directors Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger is one of the more unusual English films you'll see but it's a dreamy and captivating watch about a wild time. Sheila Sim, Dennis Price and John Sweet work well together. Oh and keep an eye out for a famous Carry On face.
Cal Fri 13/8 Film4 @ 01.25
A young man acts as the driver during the assassination of an RUC member in 1970's Northern Ireland. A year later he meets the man's widow. There's attraction but there's also a horrible dark cloud looming over both. Pat O'Connor's 1984 drama is an interesting look at the sides of the troubles that tend to go unseen. Helen Mirren and John Lynch both do well in a dark and gritty film about pain, regret and loss.
Argo Fri 13/8 RTE1 @ 21.30
A group of Americans find themselves trapped during the 1979 Iranian revolution and a government worker comes up with an unorthodox way to rescue them. Ben Affleck's 3rd film as director is a thoroughly entertaining and surprisingly funny film despite the serious subject matter. Affleck is solid as the main star but Alan Arkin and John Goodman are a tonic and steal the limelight everytime they appear onscreen.
The Peanut Butter Falcon Fri 13/8 BBC1 @ 22.35
Zak, a young man with Downs Syndrome has escaped his living facility and wants to live out his wildest fantasy. He teams up with a lost soul by the name of Tyler and both set off on a dreamy journey to see what life has in store for them. One of the most underrated films of 2019 and a beautiful slice of magical realism that will bring to mind the stories of Mark Twain. Shia LaBeouf, Zack Gottsagen & Dakota Johnson all do wonderful work.
Lake Placid Fri The Horror Channel @ 23.15
Lake Placid. The name conjures up images of peace, calm, stillness, relaxation doesn't it. What it doesn't conjure up is gigantic killer crocodiles. But they are there. And they are hungry as hell. This comedy/action/horror/thriller from 1999 is mighty craic and even better is that it knows it's silly and has fun with the fact. Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt, Brendan Gleeson and a profane Betty White all add to the mirth.
Any chance of a retweet? Cheers.
Witchfinder General. Is that a cult film? Fuck it I'm going with it. It's one of the most effective horror films you'll ever see too. Vincent Price is terrifying in the lead with his usual camp horror act nowhere to be seen. It's scary despite being set mostly in daylight, it has an opening scene that will stay in your head for years after you see it and with it's indictment of governmental hypocrisy and societal & systemic misogyny it's message packs a vicious punch too.
The opening 30 seconds of the 31st video nasty on the DPP 39 list is a shaking shot of the title card in which you can see the camera man and director's reflection. It's shoddy, unintentionally hilarious and definitely sets the tone for what's the come.
There's a bad man stalking the bars of New Orleans and he's ritually slaughtering the prostitutes he finds within. Their hearts are removed and offered up to his ancient god and his plan is to sacrifice three together during Mardi Gras to bring his evil plan to fruition. What's his plan? Who knows? Who cares? Well actually the cops do and when one cop falls for one of the killer's would be victims he gets personally involved. Will N'awlin's finest scupper his nefarious scheme? Will the ladies of Bourbon street ever feel safe again??? Will someone call someone else cher?
God this was dreadful but at least you could laugh at it. Actually, you'd howl laughing at it. Every aspect of it is inept. The "acting", the funky disco soundtrack that makes every scene feel like a preamble to hardcore porn, the same three sets used over and over again. It's so shoddy it's almost endearing. Originality ain't it's strong point either seeing as it's very similar to another nasty on the list, the infamous Blood Feast. That one too had a lunatic kidnapping pretty ladies and harvesting their organs to offer up to an archaic deity but there it was a Smörgåsbord of entrails. Here it's a heart and we get to experience three increasingly boring variations on the same murder throughout the mercifully short running time. Director Jack Weis found a gore effect that he thought worked (it doesn't) and he was going to get his money's worth out of it.
It was this effect that got Mardi Gras Massacre an X rating in the US on it's initial release in 1978 and landed it on the video nasties list in the UK in 1983. The BBFC under the iron fist of James Ferman really were not fans of hearts being cut out of chests (Steven Spielberg's Temple Of Doom had a similar scene snipped in 1984) but the big issue here was they were being cut out of stark naked ladies and as we know from so many other nasties that the ol' sex n' violence combo really got on the censor's nerves. Now you'll watch it and laugh because it seems almost quaint but back then....well it's no surprise at all it got banned.
What is surprising is that it's still banned. Technically at least. The Goldstar label VHS was placed on the DPP list in late 1983 and 38 years later it's still never been resubmitted to the BBFC for classification. I've no doubt it would be passed uncut these days and it might even squeak a 15 cert but it's unavailability works to it's advantage too. Because it's hard to find it lends it a certain cache, it feels a bit taboo. It's still shit mind you. But it's so bad it's funny shit at least.
Did it deserve to be a nasty? Not a chance but i can understand why it happened.
Would I recommend it? Yeah, maybe, as a curio to laugh at.
Next up - Nightmares In A Damaged Brain. One of the best of the bunch, a genuinely effective and unsettling watch.
Tonight's film isn't a great film but its one I love. It's been a while since I saw it but it's a watch that instantly transports me back to the summer of 1995. Watching it with friends, laughing at yer man from House Of Pain trying to act and a pre Entourage Jeremy Piven getting horsed off the roof of a tower block. Loving the soundtrack filled with Cypress Hill and Biohazard. Back before rent, bills and global pandemics were a problem. Back when Stephen Dorff and Emilio Estevez were big stars! Buzzing about the fact we'd managed to rent out an 18 cert film. Yup, it's a 15 now but things were stricter in the 90's.
Let's see how it feels in 2021 shall we.
Ok. My favourite actor/actress. Hmmmm. I'll pick the brilliant Patricia Clarkson and the lovely The Station Agent. Yes, it's a Sundance film and yes it's so indie it hurts but it's the kind of film everyone will fall in love with. A story about disparate, lonely souls, coming together to create a different kind of family. Patricia is perfect in it.
In the first 30 minutes of The Suicide Squad we get to see two massacres, both played for belly laughs. Famous faces are blown off their skulls, naked men are brutally gunned down, terrible actors that Hollywood has been trying to foist on us for years are impaled gruesomely and a half human/half shark voiced by one of cinemas most beloved action hero's messily devours an innocent victim. If you have a weak and wimpy constitution avoid this film like the plague but if you want to see a sequel that joyfully pisses all over the smoking corpse of the film that came before it then the Suicide Squad is yer only man.
The Island republic of Corto Maltese has been taken over by a military coup and the nazi era laboratory at it's heart is brewing up something seriously nasty. Only the hardiest of the hard, the bravest of the brave and the maddest of the mad are capable of fighting their way into it and destroying the evil within, hence The Suicide Squad, a team of criminals who've been promised time off their sentences if they do the US government's bidding. Their handler is Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman), their leader is Bloodsport (Idris Elba at his grumpiest) a killer with a wicked aim, their muscle is Peacemaker (John Cena perfectly cast as an asshole version of Captain America) and King Shark (Sylvester Stallone, brilliant), blunting the machismo of the pack is Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie, a delight) and their special weapons are Polka Dot Man (David Dastmalchian) and Ratcatcher 2 (Daniela Melchior). The plan is - get in, plant a few bombs and get out. But that's always easier said than done isn't it.
Oh man, this was so enjoyable. This is what superhero films should all be like. It's hilarious, appallingly so in places, with a total dedication to showing exactly what out of this world powers can do to a normal human body. Don't give us moping or introspection, do give us friendly waving rats, instead of doom and gloom we want Harley Quinn's version of the end of Commando but with added flowers and javelins and for god sake when it comes to the obligatory city crunching climax ™ (nice bit of alliteration there) at least make it fun and nothing says fun like Kaiju sized sea life with killer armpits. Don't worry, that last sentence will make sense as soon as you see the film. Yeah, yeah we're all suffering from superhero overkill but this one feels like a breath of fresh air because it leans into the inherent stupidity and absurdity of superhero movies and has some real laughs with it. Iron Man? Pah, here's The Weasel and The Detachable Kid instead. Despite existing in the same universe as Superman, he's written off with a one line excuse. No, here we're getting the dregs of the super world and they're always more interesting.
It leans into it's R rating too (16 certificate in Ireland and fully deserving it). There's no quick cutaways to hide the blood and guts and the tame take on the same story from 2016 will be forgotten before the opening credits even roll. Some of the faces from the first one are wiped out rapidly and it all shows that director James Gunn is successfully laying his claim to the franchise. DC learned a lesson with it's adult oriented Harley Quinn film from last year and it's nice to see those lessons liberally splashed all over the island of Corto Maltese and just like that film it's Margot Robbie that's once again the MVP. She's having a ball here and it translates wonderfully to the screen. Gunn knows she's the most interesting character so gives her the best lines, a shootout for the ages and a piece of surreal imagery during the climax that's one of the most nutso things you'll ever see in a superhero film.
Of course it also suffers from the same problems all comic book movies do these days. It's far too long, with a saggy midsection that could easily lose more than a few minutes. It's ties to the first film leave Viola Davis (Amanda Waller, the brains behind the Suicide Squad) wasted in cutaways that only serve to dull the film's energy and as always there's the big city crunching climax ™ but at least this time you'll be laughing and gawping in disbelief instead of yawning at yet another explosion. It's zaniness is a nice capper on the knowingness sprinkled throughout the rest of the film. Plus it's the only time you'll ever get to hear both Stringer Bell and John Rambo say "nom nom's". How could you not love that?
The Suicide Squad is out in cinemas now. If you've seen it's predecessor be happy in the knowledge that this one is a massive improvement. If you haven't seen it, then don't even acknowledge it's existence and just have a whale (or a shark) of a time with this instead.
Others sit under a tree by a river with a fishing rod and zone out.
Some lie in a park and look up at the sky.
Others go to a gym and punish themselves.
Me. Im happy as a clam right here.
Ahhhhhh #contented sigh
Superman 3. This may not be correct because it's the bones of 40 years ago but it's the one I remember. It was in a cinema in Birr that had a corrugated iron roof and seats on a slope so acute that if you fell you could roll downhill and right through the screen. The only scene I remember is a young boy injured in a cornfield, crying as a combine harvester rolled towards him. I was terrified. But then the man of steel swooped in and saved the day. My father and I cheered and my love of cinema was cemented.
Ah good times.
"Pitch me your film idea."
"It's a 2021 take on Die Hard."
"Okay, those types of films are always popular. Die Hard on a plane? Ship, train, hotel? Where's it set?"
"It's set in a school. During a school shooting."
"..................oh jesus"
"No, no, listen, it's a unique angle. The protagonist is a girl, a student. She's guided by visions of her dead mother. She channels her grief into action"
"..............."
"And she can handle a gun well."
"Ok. I'm listening."
"The Red States will love it. It shows that guns can be the answer to violence."
"Sold! Here's your money. Let's make a right wing wet dream."
The above may not have happened but when you watch Run Hide Fight your mind will be spinning trying to figure out how this was greenlit.
Life's been tough on Zoe (Isabel May) since cancer took her mother Jennifer (Radha Mitchell) and she's drifted into aimlessness, something noticed by her ex soldier father Todd (Thomas Jane), her teachers and her best friend Lewis (Olly Sholotan). School's a drag and she wants out, away from home and everyone she knows, hoping college might bring a fresh start. She's about to be jolted out of her funk sooner than she realises though when a van crashes into her school cafeteria and a deranged gang of gun toting students start gunning down faculty and friends. Led by the alienated Tristan (Eli Brown) they want to cause maximum mayhem and as the carnage is live streamed to an appalled outside world, inside Zoe decides to fight back using the skills her father taught her.
Oh man, this one is in bad taste. The set up is sound, one that's been done dozens of times before. Lone warrior fights back against the odds and battles with their own demons in the process but setting it against a backdrop of a modern day, real life horror will always leave a bad taste in your mouth. Add in a very unambiguous stance on US gun control and you have a story that seems morally reprehensible to it's very core. Many, many films have taken the stance that violence is the only way to deal with violence but there's something genuinely unsettling about watching teenagers being shot in the head in scenes that feel like vignettes from The Hunger Games, but without the fantasy angle.
Entertainment hewn from real life suffering has always been a thing and most likely will always be around but it tends to come from the world of cheap, terribly acted exploitation cinema, churned out in an attempt to make money from outrage. Run Hide Fight is a decently made film, filled with believable performances and actors you'll recognise (Thomas Jane, Radha Mitchell and Treat Williams as Sheriff Tarsy) and it makes it all feel that much more offensive. There's money and effort behind in this propaganda. It's an agenda masquerading as entertainment.
As for the baddies. Oh man the baddies. Why even bother looking into the reasons behind school shootings when you have a pantomime level bad guy running and gunning for no reason. Eli Brown's Tristan is less a character than a bunch of cliches and tropes roughly moulded into the shape of a person. He feels astoundingly out of place in a story that demands an antagonist with some bit of tangibility. It's almost like the money men behind the film weren't interested in that part of the story....... Isabel May as Zoe certainly deserved someone better to bounce off. Her performance is one of the better things about Run Hide Fight, especially the quieter moments where her mother is on her mind.
Run Hide Fight is streaming online and available on DVD now. It's a problematic watch on a number of levels. Give it a watch if you enjoy feeling like crap about how you just spent the last 110 minutes.
