February 27, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 9

 

A movie I know practically the whole script of.

"As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster."

"Paulie may have moved slow, but it was only because Paulie didn't have to move for anybody."

"One day some of the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was outta respect."

"I'm not mad, I'm proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and you learned the two greatest things in life. Look at me, never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut."

"Now go home and get your fuckin' shinebox!!!"

"Now the guy's got Paulie as a partner. Any problems, he goes to Paulie. Trouble with the bill? He can go to Paulie. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy, he can call Paulie. But now the guy's gotta come up with Paulie's money every week, no matter what. Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me."

"In prison, dinner was always a big thing. We had a pasta course and then we had a meat or fish. Paulie did the prep work. He was doing a year for contempt and he had this wonderful system for doing the garlic. He used a razor, and he used to slice it so thin that it used to liquefy in the pan with just a little oil. It was a very good system."

"When they found Carbone in the meat truck, he was frozen so stiff it took them three days to thaw him out for the autopsy."

"If you're part of a crew, nobody ever tells you that they're going to kill you, doesn't happen that way. There weren't any arguments or curses like in the movies. See, your murderers come with smiles, they come as your friends, the people who've cared for you all of your life. And they always seem to come at a time that you're at your weakest and most in need of their help."

"And that's the hardest part. Today everything is different; there's no action, I have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food, right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook."

Hmm. I can't for the life of me think of any film like that...


The Duke

The Duke is a film that could have been made as an Ealing Comedy 60 years ago with Alec Guinness and Edie Martin in the lead roles. But back then they wouldn't have been allowed show the vigorous sex scene that kicks the third act into motion or hear lead character Kempton Bunton splutter the funniest use of the F-word in a long time. It's old fashioned fun that doesn't have to sand it's edges off anymore.

Standing up to authority is a Northern trait and Kempton Bunton (Jim Broadbent) is a fine practitioner of the art. He's sick of being told what to do and when to do it and his latest campaign is against the TV licence, a tax he sees as unfair to the poor and the elderly. His wife Dorothy (Helen Mirren) is mortified by his antics and raging with him as his mouth gets him fired from one job after another. His heart is in the right place though, he's socialist through and through and stands up against bullshit the second he sees it. A trip south to London to champion his latest cause sees him come home with a tasty souvenir - Francisco Goya’s Portrait of The Duke of Wellington from the National Gallery in London. It's been stolen and now it's hiding in his cupboard and a ransom note is winging it's way through the post.

Truth is stranger than fiction. A quote attributed to Mark Twain that feels perfect for this true story, the last movie directed by Roger Mitchell before he sadly passed away in 2021. Ok, it's not exactly the truth but the broad strokes are the same. A thief wandered into the National Gallery through a bathroom window one night in 1961 and stole a masterpiece. The police were baffled and concluded that it was a perfectly planned heist carried out by an experienced criminal. The juxtaposition of their conclusions and the reality of the situation is just one of many laughs in this gentle and amiable comedy. The courtroom set finale too, deep dives into the comedy of the situation and will leave you grinning from ear to ear as Kempton wins over everyone and I mean everyone. 

The story isn't without it's human side either. Kempton and Dorothy have suffered a loss in their past that would split many a couple apart. He's dealing with grief in his own way but Dorothy is trapped by it, unable to talk about it, unwilling to think about it. At first you'll wonder why Helen Mirren took a role that seems to consist of making breakfast and tea for her husband and son Jackie (Fionn Whitehead) and grumbling about everything but as she's forced by circumstance to face her pain her performance takes a quietly powerful turn. It's Broadbent's film though, he robs every scene. He's every eccentric Da you've ever met, every neighbour who's always scheming, that co-worker who'll always pipe up and make you laugh. He's a lovable rogue you'll side with always and he turns The Duke into a movie that's just the ticket in a time of seemingly constant misery.

The Duke is in cinemas now. It's very enjoyable. Bond fans will get a big kick out of it too.

February 26, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 8

 

A movie that makes me sad. 


It's gotta be this. The most anti war film ever made. The story of Setsuko and Seita, a little girl and her big brother before, during and after the firebombing of Kobe in Japan during World War 2. The story begins with Seita dying of starvation in a railway station and then flashes back to happier times. We see them as innocent kids, we start to care for them, we become fully invested in their story and then die when they are ripped away from us.

It is just brutal, a beautifully sad story. A film that will ruin your day.


17 films on TV this week chosen just for you

Blinded By The Light   Sat   26/2   BBC2 @ 22.00

Springsteen fans, get your drinks and grub ready for a treat. Javed Khan has discovered the Boss and through his music sees a way out of his dreary existence. His traditional father has other ideas though. A joyous and exciting look at family, bigotry, tradition and the power of a good tune. Even if you aren't a fan of the music you'll appreciate the message. Viveik Kalra is a game lead and a face to look out for in the future.

Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day   Sat   26/2   TG4 @ 23.45

In post war London Miss Pettigrew has just lost her job as a governess and takes up a new position working for a famous American actress. Chalk and cheese is a term that comes to mind in a witty and bubbly take on the 83 year old novel of the same name. It nails it's period setting too but the film's real strength comes from the central pairing of Frances McDormand and Amy Adams with both actors fully displaying the skills that have made them famous.

The Lost City Of Z   Sat   26/2   BBC2 @ 23.50

The life and times of Sir Percival Wallace, a British army Colonel who was one of the first outsiders to explore the Amazon jungle, a place he rapidly became obsessed with. My favourite film of 2017. An old fashioned drama with an epic scope, that's laden with wonder and amazement. Charlie Hunnam does career best work as Wallace and Sienna Miller, Robert Pattinson and Tom Holland back him up admirably.

The Dig   Sun   27/2   RTE1 @ 00.25

Ronan (what a name) is home after 15 years in the big house. He was accused of a murder he cannot remember committing and the father of the woman killed wants his revenge despite the fact the man has served his time. A dark, dank, and menacing Irish film about our warped connection to the land and the secrets that lie beneath it. Moe Dunford and Lorcan Cranitch both do astounding work here as two men torn asunder by the past.

Roxanne   Sun   27/2   Great! Movies Classic @ 10.50

Take the classic French story of Cyrano De Bergerac and transplant it into anywhere USA. Add Steve Martin as a man with a killer personality who's ashamed of his physical side and throw in a love interest and a love rival. Sprinkle it with a dash of whimsy, a whiff of loneliness, a side order of belly laughs and you get a perfect Sunday morning movie. Martin, a luminous Daryl Hannah and a charmingly clumsy Rick Rossovich all do funny work.

Long Shot   Sun   27/2   BBC1 @ 23.10

Charlotte Field is in the middle of a presidential campaign when she bumps into journalist Fred Flarsky, who she used to babysit. They are polar opposites but when she hires him to write a speech for her sparks start to fly. Seth Rogen tones down his usual schtick in an amusing and heartfelt comedy drama and is far more likable than usual as a result. Charlize Theron though is the star of the show and displays a fantastic comic streak that should be used more often.

The Upturned Glass   Mon   28/2   Talking Pictures TV @ 00.25

Michael Joyce is angry, he's disturbed and he wants revenge for the death of the woman he adored. Revenge though.... it's just one of those things where the reality never lives up to what you imagined. A British murder mystery film noir from 1947 that really hits the spot. It's a little bit darker and more mean spirited than American noir cinema and all the better for it. James Mason and Pamela Kellino brilliantly sell a tale packed with irony.

Frank   Mon   28/2   Film4 @ 01.05

The Soronprfbs need a new keyboardist and John's the man for the job. The only band member ok with the new recruit is Frank, the eccentric lead singer who always wears a papier-mâché head. The recording of the new album is going to be strange. Lenny Abrahamson's 2014 comedy drama is an odd, whimsical, upsetting but enjoyable watch littered with fine turns from Domhnall Gleeson, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Michael Fassbender.

It Follows   Mon   28/2   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

Jay finds herself being followed by something weird after she spends the night with her boyfriend. To say anymore would ruin an unsettling and original horror film that takes a ridiculous premise and turns it into a suspenseful story that's darkly funny and flat out terrifying in places. Director David Robert Mitchell is obviously a John Carpenter fan too but that's no bad thing. Maika Monroe as Jay is a mighty lead.

To Sir, With Love   Tues   1/3   Great! Movies Classic @ 21.00

Mark Thackeray has travelled from the West Indies for an engineering job but takes a teaching job in the interim. But he'll be teaching in London, it's the 1960's and he's a black man. Things aren't going to be easy. Sidney Poitier steals the show in a warm and gentle story with his charming portrayal of a teacher who realises kindness will always net a better result than anger,

Total Recall   Tues   1/3   ITV4 @ 21.00

A man gets a memory of a holiday implanted into his brain but the procedure unlocks a whole mess of trouble for him. One of Arnold Schwarzeneggar's most complex and entertaining films and one that's full of the carnage and action that made him famous. Wicked special effects and make up add to the fun. Sharon Stone, Rachel Ticotin and Michael Ironside all bring something to the whole amusing mess. Not for the squeamish.

The Stranger   Wed   2/3   Film4 @ 14.50

Franz Kindler has escaped to America and is hiding from the War Crimes Commission hunting him for his part in the final solution. An agent called Wilson is hot on his heels, determined to out him for all to see. Orson Welles, who also plays Kindler, directed this post war film noir and he makes a hell of a job of both his parts. A tense and fast moving story with Edward G. Robinson as Wilson being as watchable as always.

The Grapes Of Wrath   Thur   3/3   Talking Pictures TV @ 14.55

The Joads are heading west. The great depression of the 1930's has hit Oklahoma hard and with their homes and farms seized people are seeing California as the only way out. Route 66 is a long and arduous trip though. Widely considered one of the best films ever made, director John Ford turns his camera away from Monument valley and towards the long ignored stories of America instead and we get a masterpiece. Jane Darwell and Henry Fonda head a stacked cast beautifully.

Brief Encounter   Thur   3/3   BBC4 @ 22.50

A man and a woman fall in love with each other over a series of meetings in and around their railway station. The only problem is she's married and they live in an era where this just would not do. David Lean's 1945 drama is a peach. One which will actually break your heart and maybe even ruin your day but it's so worth watching. Beautiful acting from Celia Johnson & Trevor Howard and a clever narrative twist make it one you'll remember for an age.

Slow West   Fri   4/3   Film4 @ 02.20

Set on the wild frontier of 19th century America, Slow West is the story of a young man travelling to see the woman he loves and the people he meets on the way. A deep and thoughtful story, more so than your usual westerns, about the good and bad that people are capable of, but one that still delivers all the beats the genre is known for. Kodi Smit-McPhee & Michael Fassbender as the leads are both convincing.

Moonstruck   Fri   4/3   RTE1 @ 23.15

A Brooklyn bookkeeper called Loretta finds herself struggling with romantic problems when she's engaged to one brother but falling for another. What to do? What to do? This 35 year old comedy drama is a joy to behold. Warm, funny and dotted with memorable characters but also plenty of dramatic heft to keep you fully involved throughout her journey. Cher, Olympia Dukakis, Nicolas Cage (proving here that his latter day unique persona is nothing new) and Danny Aiello are all wonderful.

The Warriors   Fri   4/3   5star @ 23.20

The gangs of New York have come together to call a truce and to join up and take over the city but when the man with the plan is murdered one street gang is wrongly accused and now they have to try to stay alive over the course of a night with every other gang in the city out for their blood. A highly invigorating and imaginative action film crammed with wonderfully designed characters and gangs, bruising set pieces and topped off with a super soundtrack.

If you find something new or an old favourite a retweet is always appreciated :)

The Godfather re-release

Tonight's cinema trip was a very special one. The 50th anniversary screening of a film I've adored since I was 10 years old when my mother let me watch it on a trip to my uncle's house. I remember it vividly. That special feeling of being let watch something you knew was for grownups. That feeling that maybe you were starting to be a bit grownup yourself. A lot of it went over my head at the time but I fell for it anyway.


Then 32 years later getting to see it on the big screen despite the fact that you've seen it dozens of times in the interim and have owned it on VHS, DVD and Blu-ray. Knowing every line, every scene, every character. Getting to watch it with 100 other people there, not to talk, not to look at their phone, but to see an all time great looking better than it ever has before. All that detail, magnified on the big screen. That glorious sun drenched Sicilian landscape, the wrinkles spreading across Don Vito's face as old age catches up with him, the oranges rolling across the road during his failed assassination attempt, the crimson cloud around Sollozzo's head when Michael takes a son's revenge. Seeing it with an appreciative crowd reminds you of other things too, like it's humour - Sonny's dinner table pissiness with Carlo, Clemenza mocking Michael for being embarrassed to tell Kay her loves her, Luca Brasi practicing his speech. You'd remember just how well put together it all is too. 2 hrs and 55 minutes fly by. No one around you is restless, no one is checking the time, everyone is just lost in what's in front of them. 


The moment that got me in the throat though was Michael's lightning courtship with Appolonia. The two walking through the countryside outside of Corleone, under the watchful eye of her family and his bodyguards, strolling through beautiful hazy evening sun while Nina Rota's glorious main theme serenades the loving couple. It was just perfect. Won't lie, there was nearly a tear.

God I love films.

February 25, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 7

 

A film that makes me happy. Well, in reality every film makes me happy. But tonight I'll pick Open Range, a western that for my money is the best one the 21st century has produced so far. It's perfect, old fashioned yet modern feeling. Proper boo-hiss baddies and real solid no nonsense heroes in Kevin Costner and Robert Duvall. The friendships feel real, the scenery is glorious and the violence, when it comes, hurts.

"You're the one that killed our friend?" "That's right, I shot the boy too and I enjoyed it." BOOM. Headshot. The moment of sweet revenge that kicks off the best western gunfight you'll ever see.

Lesson - Do not fuck with Kevin Costner's friends.

An odd choice for this question but feck it.

Kimi

Alfred Hitchcock was born in 1899. If he'd been born in 1999 he'd be the target audience for Kimi, the new thriller from Steven Soderbergh that feels like a modern day remake(ish) of Alfie's own Rear Window replete with facemasks, invasive tech and crippling social anxiety. That aul reliable trio of life ingredients in 2022.

Kimi's the new must have gadget. A smart speaker that not only listens to your every word but one that tracks every movement you make in your home. One of the workers asked with making sense of data streams from Kimi devices worldwide is Angela Childs (Zoë Kravitz), a blue haired recluse who's life revolves around her computer screen and her phone. A previous assault combined with a global pandemic has her housebound and her only contacts are her mother and her neighbour Terry (Byron Bowers) who visits her regularly for a bit of how's your uncle. One day a troubling recording catches her eye, one that appears to have captured an attack on a woman in her one home. Her boss doesn't want to know so she goes over his head and soon finds herself in a lot of danger. The type of danger that requires going outside.

Your own gaff. The place you feel most comfortable. Your safe space. It's not something that exists for women in modern day life. Angela knows. She can never relax and her job has turned her into a voyeur, peering into the lives of others, existing vicariously through them. Outdoors is a no-no and her social life is a blend of broken promises and drunken zoom calls. Her discovery of an assault on a woman called Samantha (Erika Christensen) is what kicks her into gear, forcing her out of her comfort zone. It's not hard to spot the real life parallels here. The psychological damage wrought on us all by extended periods of isolation these last few years, the ridiculous access we allow tech companies to have into our lives, the ever increasing violence against women reported daily in news headlines. The fact that Soderbergh and writer David Koepp have managed to turn this raw material into a film that's not absolutely depressing is somewhat of a minor miracle.

Soderbergh's one of the most interesting directors working today. Starting off in arthouse before pivoting into mainstream success and in the last decade becoming a jack of all trades. You never know what you'll get with him, his films dabble in the tropes of genre cinema but feel accessible to everyone, lending his stories an air of palatable unpredictability. Combine this with a breath of fresh air actor like Kravitz and you get a film that sounds stale and unimaginative on paper but one that turns out to be pretty damn pulse pounding in reality. Add in a Home Alone style ending that robs some of it's brutal retribution from Lethal Weapon 2 and you have a crowd pleaser. Speaking of Home Alone, see if you can spot the in-joke. It's rare when a realisation about a stabbed and bleeding character will make you giggle.

Kimi is streaming now on google movies. It's good. Zoë Kravitz has been one to watch for a while now but this and next week's The Batman are about to set her flying.


February 24, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - day 6

 

The Sure Thing. Always. A comedy masterpiece that works because you love the main couple played by John Cusack as the disaster and Daphne Zuniga as the brainiest girl in college. It's a perfect film to cheer you up. A romantic comedy with a recognisable and relatable main character. Gib, the lovable fuck up. But a fuck up in the Hollywood sense, one that can still get into an Ivy league school. This is a real opposites attract film, the type where you know how its going to end but you still love it. And that's why it's a perfect comfort watch. You know the destination so can lie back and enjoy the journey. Literally. It is a road trip movie after all. Throw in a few proper belly laughs and you have a super way to pass a couple of hours.





Fun is needed

With the world teetering on the edge of global warfare you'd need something funny. Hence 


You can't go wrong with Fred Ward and Kevin Bacon taking on giant subterranean killer worms in the Sierra Nevada desert. Anything to take your mind off that mess in the East.

February 22, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - day 5

 

Favourite Drama? Fuck. Tough question. If asked that every day for a year I could give 365 different answers but tonight I'll go with Before Sunrise. A beautiful story about a boy and a girl meeting on a train to Vienna and the night they spend walking and talking before they have to part the next morning. It's so simple and brilliant and funny and just lovely. Below is the scene where they just know..

Mark Lanegan R.I.P.

The Singles soundtrack was the first CD I ever owned. The soundtrack to Cameron Crowe's tale of life and love during the big music boom in Seattle in the very early 90's. 15 year old me was all over it for new (to me) tunes from Soundgarden, Temple Of The Dog, Pearl Jam and The Smashing Pumpkins. It introduced me to so much more though. Jimi Hendrix, The Replacements (by way of Paul Westerberg), Led Zeppelin through a cover of The Battle Of Evermore by The Lovemongers and a great song called I Nearly Lost You by a band called The Screaming Trees who I'd never heard of before.


There's a tune that would make you fall in love with a voice. That raspy unique voice a million miles from the polished tones of Chris Cornell and Eddie Vedder. It's probably why he never made it as big as those fellas but his music was always captivating. When he left The Screaming Trees and went his own direction things got even better but sadly like so many singers from Seattle in that era smack took hold though he was always able to shake it and he just kept coming back with better than ever. 


Mark passed away in Kerry earlier today after Covid-19 felled him last year. There wasn't many like him. There won't be again.

February 21, 2022

30 day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 4

 

It's not my favourite horror film (that will always be Dawn Of The Dead) but I rewatched The Texas Chain Saw Massacre last week and jesus there's a film that will always set your nerves on edge. It's primal stuff, fucking terrifying in places. It's horror appears out of nowhere and leaves you gasping. There's no music building up to a shock here, just a surprise sledgehammer to the head and a door slammed shut. And all in daylight too, under the blazing Texan sun. Barely a thimbleful of blood is spilled in the entire film and yet it was banned on video in Ireland and England for decades. I can only imagine the impact it must have had on 70's cinema audiences raised on Hammer horror.


The 2022 version though. Fuck right off. 


Dog

“A filthy animal unfit for human company and a… Dog” That's Dog's tagline and with it comes comedic expectations. There's a few laughs here (and one cringeworthy moment that belongs to the American Pie school of comedy) but Dog is all about the aspects of war rarely spoken of. The collateral psychological trauma for everyone involved, soldiers on two legs and four.

Jackson Briggs (Channing Tatum in his first leading role since 2017) is sick of cheese, tuna, mayo and mustard, the ingredients he uses everyday as part of his Subway sandwich job. He's an army ranger trying to make ends meet until his next deployment but the chances of him being called back into combat are slim. He's dealing with a brain injury and the mental issues that are part and parcel of combat and his commanding officer doesn't want to take a chance on him. But Jackson ain't taking no for an answer so he's offered a deal - drive Lulu cross country to a funeral and if that goes well, there might be a travel slot open for him. Lulu's a Belgian Malinois military dog Jackson once worked with and she's suffering from PTSD just like he is and now both have to travel from Oregon to Arizona to say goodbye to a soldier both served with.

Channing Tatum is an immensely likable screen presence who can do it all. He looks the part with an AR-15 in his hands, he has great comic timing and he can dance like no-one's watching but can he carry a film by himself? Dog answers that last question in the affirmative. Usually in film's like this (Marley & Me, Turner & Hooch etc) the four legged friend steals the spotlight but here's it's Jackson you'll be watching. The army has left him behind, his psychological issues have taken family and friends from him, Jack Daniels is his night time companion. He's a fella on the edge, one who claims the military is his life but that same military has left him a wreck, used him up and spit him out. He's one step away from unraveling and Tatum sells his pain perfectly. Lulu's the same, harsh discipline has taken it's toll on her little shoulders, she's volatile and aggressive, not used to kindness at all. Both of them have become accustomed to a hard life but on their travels both react positively to the kindness of strangers. Maybe, just maybe they could be kind to each other....

While never exactly being a damning indictment of the unspoken wreckage of combat Dog says enough to let us know where it's politics lie and throughout our heroes journey south we get to know plenty about them, enough to see the damage caused and the damage both are capable of causing; a pot farm misunderstanding that shows us how good Jackson is at his job, a hotel chase that explicitly tells us about the racial biases in Lulu's training and how military life alienates soldiers from civilians in a way that leaves them incapable of integrating into normal life. It all sounds very serious doesn't it but thankfully Dog has a lighter side too. The sight and sound of Tatum tearing into 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight ' will never not be funny, or him trying to coax a smelly Lulu into a much needed bath or his frustration when she ruins what could quite possibly be the best night of his life. All very welcome flashes of light in what is a surprisingly dark story.

Dog is showing in cinemas now. It's a well told tale that's devoid of the usual mawkish tugging of heartstrings you tend to see in films about men and men's best friends. It's worth your while.

February 19, 2022

30 day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 3

 

Fave action film. This time around I'm going with 1998's The Mask Of Zorro. It is brilliant fun. Antonio Banderas is a dashing hero. It's funny. Catherine Zeta-Jones is gorgeous in it and the action from director Martin Campbell is just *chef's kiss* 


Perfection.

16 films on TV this week worth a watch


Road House   Sat   19/2   5Star @ 21.00

Dalton has rocked into town. He's the new head bouncer for the Double Deuce and he has one rule - "....Be Nice." Men want to be him. Women want to have him. One man can't stand him - Brad Wesley, the baddest dude in town. Road House is awesome. A brilliantly brutal slice of 80's cheese carried by a towering turn from Patrick Swayze who was the complete antithesis of 80's action heroes and ended up being more enjoyable than all of them. Sam Elliot, Kelly Lynch and Ben Gazzara add to the joy.

Young Ahmed   Sat   19/2   BBC4 @ 23.30

A young Belgian teen finds himself under the influence of a man preaching religious extremism. Soon he's keeping family and friends at arms length and eventually comes up with a plan that may ruin his life. In 85 minutes the Dardenne brothers weave a captivating and quite terrifying story about the horrors of modern day life for alienated and vulnerable teenagers. Idir Ben Addi is a magnificent lead.

What Keeps You Alive   Sat   19/2   The Horror Channel @ 22.35

Jackie and Jules are two women celebrating their first wedding anniversary in a remote cabin in the woods. Things get odd, then tense and then kinda scary. But never in the way you'd expect. A fine slice of psychological horror that poses all manner of probing questions about how well you can ever know the people you allow into your life. Britanny Allen and Hannah Emily Anderson play off each other nicely.

Mississippi Burning   Sun   20/2   RTE1 @ 01.20

Three civil rights workers are murdered in a small town during the early 1960's and the FBI is sent in to investigate but will they find answers in a land and people bound tightly together by hate? Alan Parker's 1988 thriller is a brutal and unforgiving look at country that's never going to change it's stripes. Gene Hackman, Brad Dourif, Frances McDormand, Michael Rooker, Badja Djola and Willem Dafoe all work together wonderfully.

Race   Sun   20/2   RTE2 @ 14.40

Berlin. 1936. The Summer Olympics. hitler (I'm not giving him a capital h) is preaching about racial purity and the domination of sport by the white man. But on the track stands Jesse Owens, a young black man about to make a mockery of him. A simplistic look at the story for sure but a really powerful performance from Stephan James brings it over the line. Jason Sudeikis and Carice van Houten are memorable too.

Gray Lady Down   Sun   20/2   Great! Movies Action @ 18.45

A submarine, the USS Neptune, is returning home to New York harbour after a tour of duty. It's Captain Blanchard's last tour before promotion and he wants it all to go smoothly. Ha! Hahahaha. One of the less ostentatious disaster films of the 1970's and all the better for it.  A stoic Charlton Heston leads a stacked cast in a well crafted and stressful thriller with Ronny Cox, Stacey Keach and David Carradine giving him decent support.

All Cheerleaders Die   Sun   20/2   The Horror Channel @ 22.55

Maddie's a high school teenager out for revenge and the first part of her intricate plan is to become a cheerleader and sow seeds of discontent among her peers. But then someone else enters the fray and things get wild. Heathers meets Witches Of Eastwick by way of Dracula might be one way to describe All Cheerleaders Die. Another way to describe it would be a fun and clever story that twists and toys with horror genre cliche. Caitlin Stasey is a game lead.

Videoman   Mon   21/2   Film4 @ 01.30

Two outsiders obsessed with the past and all it's trappings are broken by their own personal problems but together they start to put their pieces into a brand new whole. Sounds romantic right? Heh. It's an unusual but compelling deep dive into the minds of people society tends to pass by that will definitely strike a chord with people who enjoy 80's horror. Stefan Sauk and Lena Nilsson are a strong pair of leads.

Se7en   Mon   21/2   TG4 @ 21.30

Two detectives, one young and hungry and one near retirement hunt a heinous serial killer in a dark and dreary city. Sounds cliched doesn't it? It might be in places but it's also one of the best films of the 1990's. A ferocious, dark, clever and nasty film from David Fincher that skillfully straddles the line between cop thriller and horror movie. Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman and Gwyneth Paltrow all do expert work.

Universal Soldier   Tues   22/2   The Horror Channel @ 22.45

GR13. GR44. Two soldiers with opposing ideologies on war are resurrected after their deaths in Vietnam and reprogrammed into working together in a crack anti terrorist unit. Then they start remembering things. Roland Emmerich's 1992 sci-fi thriller has aged like fine wine. It's fantastically crunchy entertainment that makes the most of it's leading men's abilities. Jean Claude Van Damme has a ball here but it's Dolph Lundgren's hammy villain that you'll remember.

Shane   Wed   22/2   Film4 @ 13.05

A worn out gunslinger wants to retire and work on a farm but finds himself drawn into a conflict between a land owner and a rancher. One of the all time best westerns that also contains one of the best bar fight scenes ever. You can't go wrong watching it. Alan Ladd nails the main role and gets solid support from familiar faces of the genre like Van Heflin, Elisha Cooke Jr and a ruthless & grinning Jack Palance.

Lifeboat   Wed   22/2   Talking Pictures TV @ 15.30

After their ship has been torpedoed by a U-Boat eight survivors are adrift at sea with little hope of survival. Tempers are fraying and their situation worsens when they find another survivor and take him onboard. A German survivor. Alfred Hitchcock's 1944 war thriller is a peach, full of suspense and sly digs about what happens when those on the same side can't stop bickering and come together. Tallulah Bankhead is a great lead.

The Third Man   Thur   23/2   BBC4 @ 20.00

Holly has arrived in Vienna to visit his friend Harry Lime but is soon dismayed to find out his friend is dead. Or is he? Who knows? We don't. Or do we? What? Who? A 1949 classic that still stands tall 73 years later with it's quotable dialogue, stunning cinematography, scenes you'll recognise even if the film is new to you and an atmosphere that just drips off the screen. Watch it. It's deadly. Joseph Cotton, Alida Valli  and Orson Welles all hit the spot.

Kes   Thur   23/2   Talking Pictures TV @ 21.00

A young boy living in a dreary Yorkshire mining village is living a miserable life, suffering verbal and physical torment from his brother and his classmates. But one day, he finds something he's interested in and it opens up a whole world to him. Ken Loach's 1969 drama is a painfully authentic look at childhood in a place that only offers misery for a future and the little beams of light that can keep us going. Dai Bradley is astounding in his film debut.

Internal Affairs   Fri   24/2   BBC1 @ 23.55

Dennis Peck. Ultracop. Smooth as hell. Loved by the ladies and the gentlemen. But there's something shady under the veneer. Something shady that internal affairs cop Raymond Avilla is going to dig out. Mike Figgis's 1990 thriller is still a cracker, and grittier and sleazier than you might remember. Andy Garcia does well as the agent on a mission but Richard Gere owns the film with a rare bad guy turn that will charm then repulse you

Bacurau   Fri(sat really)   24/2   Film4 @ 00.45

When her granny dies Teresa comes home to visit the Brazilian town she grew up in and finds it has developed a rather sinister aura. It's location has disappeared from the internet, phones don't work anymore and there's a lot of people popping their clogs. This 2019 film is yet another remake of The Most Dangerous game but it's intelligence, acting and viciousness raise it above the rest. Barbara Colen, Sônia Braga and the infamous Udo Kier all add to the madness.

Retweets are always appreciated :)


February 18, 2022

30 day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 2

 

Fave fantasy film? Hmmm. Gotta be Conan the Barbarian. The Arnie one. Fuck that Jason Momoa shit show. It's a brilliant movie. Arnie rocks it and the fact that he says fuck all makes it even better. John Milius's script sings. Thulsa Doom is a proper bad guy. The violence is brutally blunt and this quote.



Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. A title so potent it's been reused and rejigged eight times since 1974 but not a single sequel, prequel or reboot has come close to matching the raw, nerve jangling ferocity of the original. The 2022 sequel ignores the seven films before it, bringing things back to basics and also bringing back Sally Hardesty, the lone survivor of 1974, last seen (yeah she was in a crap sequel but that doesn't matter now) hysterically laughing and shrieking while soaked in blood and escaping Leatherface in the back of a pick up truck. Seeing her coming back brings to mind the two recent and awful Halloween soft reboots. It's also so bad it makes those two films look pretty good.

Do you remember the first time you saw The Shining? Dick Halloran making his way across America to save the day and then having absolutely no impact at all. That's the way you'll feel when Sally turns up, locked and loaded, to save a bus full of *shudder* social media influencers from a gory evisceration at the business end of a chainsaw.  Having the excellent Irish actor Olwen Fouéré playing the part has you hoping for something special but she's just another one of many wasted opportunities on display. It's a genuinely bad film that displays all the hallmarks of a troubled production (it's original directors were fired during production, never a good sign) and who's only saving graces are the return of John Larroquette for an opening bit of narration, just like he did in the original (and in the 2003 & 2006 version) and a mercifully short running time of 82 minutes, 73 minus the drawn out end credits. It's never a good sign when a film this short has you wondering when it will finish. 

The town of Harlow, Texas died a long time ago but a pair of *shudder* entrepreneurs have bought it up to bring it back to life and have brought a bus full of instagrammers and snapchatters with them to buy up the properties in an attempt to create a new way of life, away from the trouble and strife of big city life. Despite bank foreclosures some townsfolk still exist there and when one of them dies it stirs another to start killing again. You can probably guess who.

Insta folk being sliced and diced does sound fun doesn't it and if you've seen the trailer you'll know what's coming but what will surprise you is how dull and inert the big moment feels despite all the limbs and intestines flying. Director David Blue Garcia is no Tobe Hooper and fails at the first horror film hurdle. To scare your audience you have to make them give a damn about the characters and you won't be doing that here. The trailer also magnifies just how influenced by the recent Halloween reboots this whole thing is as mentioned earlier. Sequels being flat out ignored, the final girl now a final elderly woman, tooling up and coming for revenge. At least those had the novelty of the original star coming back but here Marilyn Burns's passing in 2014 forced a recasting and having a new actor in the part robs it of it's power. None of the rest of the cast makes any impact either apart from Elsie Fisher (So good in Eighth Grade) as Lila, the sister of one of the town buyers and Moe Dunford as Richter, a suspect town local. He's having fun at least and (SPOILER) goes out in a moment of gore that would have gotten this film banned had it been released not so long ago.

If you're a horror fan who's only here for the violence you might glean some enjoyment from this. The 1974 film, despite being banned in numerous countries spilled barely a drop of blood onscreen and 48 years later the 9th film in the franchise has decide to take a different approach, spraying the town red with it's impalements, decapitations and amputations. It truly lives up to it's title but it doesn't come close to even licking the original film's boots. You won't be scared by it and you won't care about anyone in it. It's background noise at best.

Now streaming on Netflix.

February 16, 2022

30 day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 1

 

Day 1 - The last movie you watched. Easy peasy. Olympus Has Fallen. Finished it 30 minutes ago. The most violent bit of fun movie of the last few years.


February 15, 2022

Pints

Meeting up with one of my oldest and best friends on Thursday for one or two quiet ones.  Haven't seen the chap in nearly 3 years because of cunting Covid.

The plan.

The reality.

Friday.



February 14, 2022

Uncharted

"Nuns, why does it always have to be nuns?" A line that instantly evokes a similar one at the start of Raiders Of The Lost Ark when Indy finds a snake in the plane whisking him away from danger. Uncharted, the new film from Ruben Fleischer is based on a series of Playstation games that took a lot of inspiration from the Indiana Jones franchise so it's no surprise the film adaption is tipping it's hat towards Spielberg's movies. Does it deserve to be named alongside those films though?

Films based on computer games tend to fall into two categories. Absolute crap or forgettable fun. Super Mario Bros? Crap. Tomb Raider? Forgettable fun. Assassin's Creed? Crap. Rampage? Forgettable fun. Far Cry & Max Payne? Craaaaaaaaap. Doom & Monster Hunter..... you can see where this is going. There's just something about the brilliance computer games are capable of that hasn't yet translated across to the silver screen. Happily Uncharted falls into the forgettable fun side. Tom Holland is a likable, wisecracking lead, maybe a bit too young as the Nathan Drake we all know and love but seeing as this is being called a prequel to the games it's forgivable. He's not just Spider-man without a suit either, he's wearier, a little bit more beatdown and cynical. Mark Wahlberg as Sully though. He's definitely not the mentor we loved from the games. There's a mean edge to him, there's no chemistry between him and Nathan as a result and once again he's mumbling through his lines in that monotone way he's far too often guilty of. The story though, is very Uncharted.

Nathan Drake, NYC bartender, charmer, wannabe explorer and sometimes thief has caught the eye of treasure hunter Victor Sullivan who needs his skills to get his hands on an ancient Spanish golden cross, one of two (two crosses, double crosses?? HMMMM) that he'll use in his search for the gold collected by the crew of the Magellan voyage during their 16th century expedition around the world. The other people looking for the treasure are Chloe Hunter (Sophia Ali, underused here but definitely a placeholder role for sequels), another treasure hunter from the games who's had dealings with Sully in the past and Santiago Moncada (Antonio Banderas, pointless casting, he literally does nothing), a businessman descended from the financial backers of the Magellan expedition. The three experienced hands are in it for the gold but Nathan has a more personal reason for joining in, one connected to his family past.

As with all video game adaptions you'll get a lot more from the film if you've played the games. That bruising aerial opening scene is taken directly from the third game and mirrors the franchise propensity for starting with a flashforward. A puzzle solving, booby trap dodging sojourn beneath a Barcelona church is a fine recreation of the game's many riddles and the climax is so perfectly UNCHARTED ( the little climbing bit will raise many a smile) that you'll assume it came from an unused idea from the game creators. Flying galleons, underwater chambers, gold by the tonne, whizzing cannonballs, hulking henchmen and swordfights. The massive bodycount from the games has been toned down in these scenes unsurprisingly and the supernatural aspects have been totally ignored thankfully as they never really sat well with the rest of the story. It's all very family friendly, minimal swearing, nothing bloody. It's missing that edge that made the Indy films perennial favourites. Climax aside it's missing the wow factor that made the games so wildly popular. With four games (and spin-offs) jam packed with outrageous set-pieces to choose from this could and should have been a lot more exciting. You'll have fun with it no doubt, but in a week's time you'll remember very little at all. Hopefully the inevitable sequel will step things up a lot.

Uncharted is out in cinemas now. It's good looking, forgettable fun. 

Oh, btw, keep an eye out for a familiar sounding beach cameo.


February 13, 2022

Video Nasty Rewatch part 41 - The Boogeyman

The 41st film on the video nasty list feels like an amalgamation of Halloween, The Amityville Horror and The Exorcist. It's not a patch on any of them but it does have a scene where someone is brutally murdered by a kiss. That has got to count for something. Right? RIGHT???

Kids with weapons. Always a BBFC bugbear. Sadomasochistic sex? Another BBFC hot button issue. The Boogeyman begins with a child discovering his mother and her fella indulging in a spot of slap and tickle so he buries a knife in the fella's back. From the off The Boogeyman was going to be in trouble. Sex and violence combined and a child with a blade in the mix too? Yeesh. The murder kicks the story into gear. A murder in front of a mirror that the dead man's tormented soul gets trapped in. How? Who knows? Who cares? The murder has affected the boy and he grows up to be a troubled man living and working on his sister's farm. A letter from their dying mother dredges up old memories and a trip back to the murder house unleashes long withheld emotion and destruction that sees the mirror smashed to smithereens. Now there's an evil presence on the loose and revenge is it's only mission. It's definition of revenge is elastic though so basically everyone in the film is in trouble. Especially the random groups of teenagers knocking around because early 80's horror films loved to slice and dice them.

It sounds poxy but the presence of a real director does this one a lot of favours. Ulli Lommel started directing in the New German Cinema movement of the early 70's alongside Rainer Werner Fassbinder before moving to New York late in the decade where he collaborated with no other than Andy Warhol. The Boogeyman was his third American film and while the majority of the film is really no different to the ten a penny slashers that riddled the early 80's there's an ability to create tension and scares in daytime settings that other film makers nearly always fail to do or just flat out avoid. There's a Freudian undertone in the opening scenes that gives it a rare intelligence and there's a couple of nice visual flourishes here too, usually when someone is about to violently bite the dust and the spirit makes its presence known through twinkling lights in the distance or a reflection dancing on a wall between a victim. It's subtle and better than a crappy ghostly effect.

It's the only subtle thing here though. Every other horror trope is trotted out. Dopes heading off into the unknown by themselves, oversexed teens finding remote locations to canoodle and then die. The house our leads live in SCREAMS haunted house. People with special needs are the source of special powers. If someone good looking dies it's usually in the nude. You know all the usual cliches that slasher films deal in. Adding a splash of the supernatural into the mix keeps the death scenes interesting though. The knives and machetes you'd expect are kept to a minimum and instead we get scissors and pitchforks. Haha! Yes it's stabbing implements as always but this time it's not a madman welding them and when things are ghostly all logic flies out the window.

A supernatural being forces a nude woman to stab herself in the throat with a scissors. She dies in the bathtub with her boobs bloodied and on display. Yet another BBFC nono. That and the opening scenes were definitely going to ring bells in the BBFC's Soho Square offices. Similar scenes have been cut from the films of Brian De Palma in the past among others. The video version of this that was released in 1981 has this scene and others shortened and the distributors, the infamous VIPCO who also released Driller Killer and Zombie Flesh Eaters, thought all was well until the film was targeted in the video nasty scare of 1983. Unlike those this one wasn't successfully prosecuted for obscenity and was removed from the video nasty list in 1985. It's place on the director of public prosecutions list made it instantly collectible for horror fans and it was sought after for years until VIPCO re-released it in 1992. The cuts stayed in place until 2000 though when fans could legally see Ulli Lommel's preferred version.

Did it deserve a place on the list? Through modern eyes no but certain aspects of it were always going to be trouble.

Is it worth a watch? Yup. It's not bad at all.

Previous Nasties

The Beyond

Video Nasties part 2 

Zombie Flesh Eaters

Werewolf And The Yeti, The

Tenebrae

SS Experiment Camp

Snuff

Night Of The Demon

Night Of The Bloody Apes

Nightmares In A Damaged Brain

Mardi Gras Massacre

Madhouse

Love Camp 7

Last House On The Left

Island Of Death

I Spit On Your Grave

House On The Edge Of The Park, The

House By The Cemetary,The

Gestapo's Last Orgy

Forest Of Fear

Flesh For Frankenstein

Fight For Your Life

Faces Of Death

Expose

Evilspeak

Driller Killer

Don't Go In The Woods

Devil Hunter

Cannibal Man

Cannibal Holocaust

Cannibal Ferox

Cannibal Apocalypse

Burning, The

Bloody Moon

Blood Rites

Blood Feast

Beast In Heat, The

Bay Of Blood

Axe & Anthropophagus

Absurd

Video Nasties - Time For A Rewatch