March 30, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 27

 

A favourite classic film. Oh man. A pure dirt of a question that is. Tonight I'll go with The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. A pairing of two great western stars, John Wayne and James Stewart in a film that's far more cerebral than your usual western. We get it all here, intelligence, a director willing to trust his audience, shootouts, Lee Van Cleef looking pure shifty in that way only Lee Van Cleef could, fist fights, John Wayne calling everyone pilgrim and one of the all time great film quotes - "This is the west sir. When the legend becomes fact print the legend." A line connected to the title in a way you might guess but christ it's a joy watching all the pieces falling into place. 


Video Nasty Rewatch part 43 - Contamination

Deadly egg yolk. That's the big bad of Luigi Cozzi's Contamination, the 4th film of the unprosecuted 33 films on the DPP video nasty list. Egg yolk that turns lethal when it gets hot. Yup. 

One of the joys of revisiting the nasties is realising some of the films you wrote off as crap as a younger viewer have aged quite well. Cannibal Man for example, watching it with hindsight and some knowledge of the Franco regime era that Spanish film was created in it becomes a deeper, richer experience. Same with the likes of Expose and The Werewolf And The Yeti. Sadly Contamination goes the other way. I'd remembered it as a fun bit of gory sci-fi with a smattering of action thrown in. It's sci-fi and it's mildly gory but jesus christ there's nothing fun about it. It's an intensely dull experience with a middle section that would test the resolve of a saint. Oh and it's special effects suck. Just look.

Ian McCulloch, star of the arguably the best nasty of them all, Zombie Flesh Eaters plays the woman clattering hero (yup, seriously, the fucking 80's) Commander Hubbard, an ex astronaut who's experiences on Mars scarred him psychologically and left him with a bottle of whiskey a day habit. He's been called back into action when a ship full of alien eggs is found in New York Harbour. These aren't chocolate or used for omelettes though, when they get hot they burst and release toxins that cause anyone in the vicinity to violently explode, spraying their innards all around. Enter army Colonel Stella Holmes, the scientist who's linked the eggs to Hubbards mission to Mars and now they're both heading to Colombia to follow a clue before someone uses these eggs for nefarious purposes.

Don't watch this one if you want a story that makes sense or you want a bit of excitement because you'll find neither here. The film's one gore effect is funny the first time it happens but after the 7th or 8th go around you'd rather your own stomach graphically popped rather than watch anymore of this. It's painful, an amazing example of how long 90 minutes can be made feel when you don't try at all and director Luigi Cozzi is definitely on autopilot here with a cheap and not cheerful rip off of Ridley Scott's Alien.....well not a rip off but more of an influenced by........well no, he stole the egg idea and the popping guts stuff anyway but left that film's character development and tension on the ground behind him. That middle section where our lead characters head to Colombia is the very definition of filler and doesn't hide the fact.

The only reason anyone remembers this film is it's nasty status. It got it's first release in 1982 minus 2 minutes and 40 seconds of blood and guts. Like the eggs did to their victims the BBFC eviscerated the film, removing everything objectionable from it. The below details are shamelessly stolen from Melonfarmers.

  • 13 seconds cut from opening sequence showing a dead man's mutilated and decomposing body in a cupboard.
  • 73 seconds cut from opening sequence showing several men graphically exploding after tampering with alien pods. Footage includes facial explosions and several scientists exploding at the gut in lingering slow-motion.
  • 19 seconds cut from warehouse sequence showing criminals exploding at the gut after unwisely standing amongst alien pods.
  • 2 seconds cut from warehouse sequence in which remains of freshly-exploded men are shown.
  • 9 seconds cut from climax, in which man's head is devoured by queen alien.
  • 11 seconds cut from climax showing a scientist exploding at the gut after being shot by Ian McCulloch.
  • 33 seconds cut from climax showing chief villain's chest exploding in slow-motion viscera-launch spectacle.

This tame, family friendly version happily existed on VHS until the video nasty scare of 1983 kicked off and somehow it got swallowed up in the whole ordeal, no doubt because it came from a director with an Italian name and as Ruggero Deodato, Dario Argento, Umberto Lenzi. Lucio Fulci, Antonio Margheriti and Joe D'Amato knew, the BBFC looked harshly on Italian horror. It stayed on the list until 1985 when an unsuccessful prosecution saw it removed. How could a film containing no violence be found obscene ffs!? The damage was done though. The film was now infamous. In 2004 it got a fully uncut release on DVD and horror fans could finally be disappointed by it legally. It's 15 certificate said it all, no horror and shite effects. 

Did it deserve it's nasty status? Ha!

Is it worth a watch? HA!

What's next? Dead And Buried is next. A really good horror film. Well I remember it being really good. But I also remembered Contamination being fun. Hmmmm.

Previous Nasties

The Boogeyman

The Beyond

Video Nasties part 2 

Zombie Flesh Eaters

Werewolf And The Yeti, The

Tenebrae

SS Experiment Camp

Snuff

Night Of The Demon

Night Of The Bloody Apes

Nightmares In A Damaged Brain

Mardi Gras Massacre

Madhouse

Love Camp 7

Last House On The Left

Island Of Death

I Spit On Your Grave

House On The Edge Of The Park, The

House By The Cemetary,The

Gestapo's Last Orgy

Forest Of Fear

Flesh For Frankenstein

Fight For Your Life

Faces Of Death

Expose

Evilspeak

Driller Killer

Don't Go In The Woods

Devil Hunter

Cannibal Man

Cannibal Holocaust

Cannibal Ferox

Cannibal Apocalypse

Burning, The

Bloody Moon

Blood Rites

Blood Feast

Beast In Heat, The

Bay Of Blood

Axe & Anthropophagus

Absurd

Video Nasties - Time For A Rewatch

Bruce was the man

"Wrong place and the wrong time. Nothing personal."

"That's what you think. Last night I fucked your wife."

"Oh you did huh? How'd you know it was my wife?"

"She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' motherfucker with a hat."

"Oh you're real cool for a guy about to take a bullet."

"After fucking your wife I'll take two."

Bruce Willis as Joe Hallenbeck in The Last Boy Scout. Cracking wise with a gun aimed at his face. Hearing news of his retirement today for health reasons is terribly sad. 

For 15 year old boys in the early 90's this film was manna from heaven. Profane, violent, just a hint of nudity and Bruce Willis tied it all together. Laconic, cool as fuck, knew how to take a punch and how to throw one ("If you hit me again, I'll kill you." No idle threat). Joe was a throwback to an age of cigarette smoking heroes like Bogart and Robinson we hadn't learned about yet. I only knew him from the best Christmas film ever made, Die Hard (the cut to ribbons version ITV used to show, yippee kay-ay kemosabe) as I was too young when Moonlighting was on TV but he was the man. No nonsense, headbutted first and asked questions later, smoked like a trooper in an era when it was still acceptable for the good guys to do so. Back then it was hit after hit after hit, DH, Last Boy Scout, Die Hard 2, Death Becomes Her, Pulp Fiction, Die Hard With A Vengeance, The Fifth Element, Last Man Standing, The Siege and Sixth Sense. There were duds too but who cared when the good ones were so fucking entertaining. 

The 21st century wasn't as kind to him as the 90's. The duds started to outnumber the good ones. For every Sin City or 16 Blocks there were 4 or 5 bad choices and then the dire Die Hard sequels started to roll in and the audiences started to really drop away and after, for me away, his last great film, 2012's Looper it was all down hill into DTV hell with 3 or three poor efforts a year until 2018 when he really started pumping them out. Something felt off though, the smirk was gone, the fire behind the eyes seemingly snuffed out, every role was a sleepwalker and eventually he was a cameo in the films his name was attached too. He became a joke, everyone was laughing about him, me included. We all wished he'd just retire and stop besmirching his name.

Then rumours started flying. He was sick, he was making these films to make money while he still could. It made sense, it made us who slagged him off feel like cunts and then today it was all verified. Aphasia, an inability to comprehend or formulate language because of damage to specific brain regions. A condition not compatible with the performing arts to say the least. A family statement said he's retired from acting at the age of 67. You'd hope this isn't the last we see of him. He's too cool to be gone from our screens for good.


March 28, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 26

 

Kickboxer. It's so much fun. It's the kind of film that would be considered a guilty pleasure by many but fuck that phrase. Like what you like. Who cares if it's not perfect or not well acted. If it makes you smile it's done it's job.



Ahhhh that's the stuff.

Gettin' jiggy with it

Will Smith's an awful dopey cunt though. Jesus what was he playing at? We all loved him in the 90's. He had the world at his feet. That person you should hate because he's so good at everything but you just can't because he seems like so much fun. Then Wild Wild West happened and we were all supposed to despise it but *whispers* it was actually kinda ok if you just went with it and Ali came along and blew our socks off and made us realise the Fresh Prince was actually a contender and then Bad Boys II a few years later, that grand guignol slice of insanity that everyone loves but won't admit to it. Then the notions hit. Big Willy wanted an Oscar and churned out some awful bullshit trying to get his mitts one on ( Seven Pounds?? Remember that one?? No, I didn't think so) and then to admit insult to injury inflicted his son on us with After Earth. Then the comeback kind of started, Focus, a fun con artist flick, the football concussion one that gave us a bit of hope for him before he fell off a cliff again with Suicide Squad, Bright, Collateral Beauty (so so deeply bad) and Gemini Man. Four huge duds in a row but someone up there liked him and Bad Boys 3 hit and made us remember why we all loved him again. King Richard followed that and with it came a stunner of a performance, one guaranteed to get him that much coveted golden statutette.

Then he slapped Chris Rock in the face and his Oscar win meant nothing. I really hope it will turn out to have been a bit because if it isn't he's just pissed all over everything he achieved. The Fresh putz.

March 26, 2022

16 films on TV to enjoy this week

Photograph   Sat   26/3   BBC4 @ 22.00

Under pressure from cultural norms, a street photographer called Rafi is being pressed to marry, something he has no interest in, so he asks a stranger called Miloni to pose as his fiance. You can probably guess the direction this lovely Indian-American drama goes but it's also a humane insight in a culture rarely seen in films outside of Bollywood. Nawazuddin Siddiqui and Sanya Malhotra create a buzzing chemistry.

The Furies   Sat   26/3   Film4 @ 23.20

Kayla's been kidnapped and now she's fighting for her life, alongside other women in the same situation, all for the pleasure of an online viewing audience. Ok a warning first, The Furies is very very violent and if you've any bit of a weak stomach you should skip it but if you want a bit of full on, screw the patriarchy, rough and tumble you won't go wrong here. Airlie Dodds makes for a memorable hero as she stands her ground amidst lush Australian scenery.

The Barefoot Contessa   Sun   27/3   RTE1 @ 14.50

A tale told in flashback about the rise and fall of a Hollywood starlet and the effect she has on the men who gave her career a start. Ava Gardner is luminous in the title role. Earthy, sexy and impossible to look away from. Humphrey Bogart & Edmond O'Brien play two of the men, Bogie is his usual stalwart honest self and O'Brien is a brilliantly slimy creep. A glorious looking film full of crackling dialogue.

Cliffhanger   Sun   27/3   ITV4 @ 21.00

The early 90's were a golden age for action films and Cliffhanger is one of the most entertaining of the lot. Sylvester Stallone is in great form as a mountain rescue climber haunted by a past mistake who faces off against a team of murderous thieves who have crashed in the Rocky Mountains. Loads of naughty behaviour and crunchiness ensues. John Lithgow as the big bad is fantastically hammy and the scenery is awesome. What's not to like?

King Rat   Mon   28/3   Great! Movies Action @ 09.10

Corporal King is a wiley one and he's using his smarts and cunning to take over the prisoner side of the Malaysian World War II POW camp he's found himself in. He's a man willing to do anything to get ahead. Viewers used to seeing the lighter side of George Segal might find themselves shocked by his antics in a robust and powerful war drama that's a million miles away from The Great Escape. Segal, Tom Courtenay and James Fox do hefty work here.

Atonement   Mon   28/3   TG4 @ 21.30

Teenage jealousy causes a young girl to tell a lie and the effects of that lie haunt her for the next 60 years of her life. Director Joe Wright's adaption of Ian MacEwan's book is a devastating and beautiful looking film about the strength of words and the damage they can do in the wrong hands. There's superb acting all around as well from Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Vanessa Redgrave & a baby faced Saoirse Ronan.

What We Do In The Shadows   Mon   28/3   BBC3 @ 23.30

The lives of a group of vampires in a house share in Wellington, New Zealand are being recorded by a film crew for a documentary. Sounds odd right? It is a bit but it's also so much fun. A laugh out loud comedy in parts that's sprinkled with some surprisingly bloody horror, a touch of commentary on modern life and even a smidge of pathos. Jermaine Clemant and Taika Waititi (also the director) are perfect as two of the main vamps. Give it a go.

The Guest   Tues   29/3   Great! Movies @ 01.25

A family is totally upended when a war veteran claiming to have been a friend of their dead son turns up at the door and wiggles his way into their life. An enjoyable and knowing homage to the action films and home invasion thrillers of the 90's with a little splash of horror thrown in for good measure.  Funny, nasty and totally absurd. A pleasing  and nostalgic way to spend 2 hrs. Maika Monroe and Dan Stevens are both deadly.

Sabotage   Tues   29/3   Talking Pictures TV @ 11.55

A cinema owner named Verloc is the London contact for a shadowy group of terrorists planning a series of bomb attacks throughout his city. Detective Sergeant Spencer is the man tasked with stopping the carnage. An Alfred Hitchcock thriller from 1936 that will make you gnaw the knuckles off yourself with it's masterfully crafted grasp of suspense. The bus scene will stay with you for an age. Oskar Homolka. Sylvia Sidney and John Loder all do fine work.

A Monster Calls   Tues   29/3   BBC2 @ 23.15

Conor, a broken boy is having a hard time. His Da is gone, school is miserable and his Mam is sick. And now something has begun to menace him. But it's not what you think. A slap in the face of a film, and a look at grief through a child's eyes that will floor you, fill you with fear and eventually leave you an emotional wreck. But in the right way. Lewis MacDougall, Felicity Jones and Liam Neeson all nail their parts.

Thelma   Wed   30/3   Film4 @ 01.40

A socially inexperienced young woman leaves the safety of her home for the first time and when trying to struggle with new found feelings discovers something rather unusual about the thoughts whizzing around her head. This 2017 Norwegian drama is a nice one to go into cold. Just let it's beauty and it's interesting story wash over you. Elli Harboe as Thelma and Kaya Wilkins both work wonderfully together.

Big Business   Thur   31/3   Talking Pictures TV @ 12.20

A mix up with two sets of twins in a rural American hospital leaves us with Rose and Sadie Shelton and Rose and Sadie Ratliff. 40 years later one half of each feels out of place and a sudden business trip answers loads of questions. A loud but diverting slice of cheeriness buoyed by a couple of delightful performances from Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin. Edward Hermann and the mighty Fred Ward add a lot of the mix too. 

Pride & Prejudice   Thur   31/3   BBC4 @ 23.00

It is a truth universally acknowledged that any film starring Greer Garson and Laurence Olivier is going to be worth your time. This 1940 adaption of Jane Austen's most famous book definitely is. The story of the Bennett family and their daughters and their daughters suitors in 19th century Hertfordshire. A witty and playful comedy of manners powered by excellent performances from those mentioned above.

Thoroughbreds   Fri   1/4   CH4 @ 01.50

Amanda and Lily were friends who grew apart but fate has brought them together again and the emotionless Amanda and the calculating Lily are about to do something that.... well you'll have to watch it to find out. From 2017 comes a well put together drama/thriller that takes a couple of risks and becomes nicely unpredictable as a result. Olivia Cooke, Anya Taylor-Joy and Anton Yelchin have fun here.

The Miseducation Of Cameron Post   Fri   1/4   BBC3 @ 21.00

An interrupted rendezvous leads to a teenage girl being sent to a conversion therapy camp by her religious aunt to help end her "unnatural impulses." But Cameron Post is not a person to let people roll over her. A compassionate and tender look at the pain of being different in a land where deviation from the norm is a danger to your health. Chloë Grace Moretz, Sasha Lane and Forrest Goodluck do memorable things together.

Cooties   Fri   1/4   The Horror Channel @ 22.40

Chicken nuggets. Who knew they'd be responsible for the end of the world as we know it? A bad batch has infected the pupils of an Illnois highschool and now the feral horde that was the student body is out for the blood and the teachers are in big trouble. A gooey, crunchy, and diverting horror comedy from 2014 carried by a fun cast that includes Alison Pill, Elijah Wood and Rainn Wilson. 

Retweets are always appreciated. Thanks folks.

March 25, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 25

 

Favourite hero? Superman. Always. And fuck that Justice League bullshit. I'm talking Christopher Reeve all the way. Good, honest and not a killer (Superman snapping necks in Man Of Steel was so wrong). I mean.... he even gave up his powers so he could be with Lois. Then this happened. One of the most traumatic film memories of my childhood. But what happened afterwards he why he's the best. Superman III is also the first film I remember seeing in the cinema. Christ I'm really aging myself there.

Aboy the kid.

Ambulance

You go into a Michael Bay film with a lot of preconceived notions. It will be loud. It's camera work will give you a headache. It will be violent and profane and there will be a blatant disregard for the lives and bodily integrity of anyone other than the main cast. Ambulance ticks all these boxes but unlike everything Bay has made since 2003's Bad Boys II it will actually entertain you too. 

The glut of comic book blockbusters over the last decade has had a knock on uncanny valley effect on way too many action films with their directors shooting against green screens instead of on location and leaning on computer generated imagery instead of using practical effects and genuine stuntwork. Bay's latest movie feels decidedly old fashioned with it's action setpieces taking place in well known Los Angeles locations and at least two stunts that look like they were genuinely dangerous to film. It's just a pity he feels the need to film it in a manner guaranteed to give you a headache and or some kind of fit. The drone shots, oh lord, you'll laugh at them and pray that you'll never see their like again. Some of the more hilariously gratuitous ones will have you eyeing the interior of the ambulance onscreen for pain relief.

It's one that's driven by Cam Thompson (Eiza González) an EMT responding to a shots fired call in the aftermath of a disastrous bank robbery planned and carried out by Danny Sharp (Jake Gyllenhaal), a career criminal out for a massive score. Along for the ride is his adopted brother Will (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II), an army veteran in desperate need of cash for an operation for his wife. When the SIS branch of the LAPD led by Captain Monroe (Garrett Dillahunt) foils their escape and kills the rest of the robbery crew the brothers in arms have no choice but to hijack Cam's ambulance and go on the run with a cop (Jackson White) accidentally shot by Will slowly bleeding out on a trolley in the back.

It's exactly how you'd imagine it. A quick intro to our characters and a huge Michael Mann aping shootout kick things into action within minutes and the next two hours are one chase after another interspersed with a bloody shoot out or two and the bare minimum of character building. Danny wants money, an FBI agent chasing them is gay, a cop loves his dog, Cam is great at her job and Will needs money. Only Will and Cam have any bit of depth to them and Cam's a genuine rarity in a Michael Bay film, a strong female lead who doesn't exist to be seen bending over a car bonnet in a bikini. Is this the start of a more mature era of Bayhem? A noticeable lack of CGI and leering camerawork? A willingness to take the piss out of himself (An early Rock joke mocking how long he's been doing this is a winner) and much smaller scale story? Ok, mature might be a stretch but after all those piss poor Transformers sequels and the awful 6 Underground it's nice to be entertained by his special brand of madness again.

It's far from perfect but it's a fun way to pass a couple of hours and for once the Bay trademark two hr plus running time isn't an issue because there's so much happening, often at once. Farting dogs, mobile surgery, splattering cops and seemingly every dodgy street corner in Los Angeles. Ambulance has it all.

March 23, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 24

 

A favourite villain? Clarence Boddicker in Robocop of course. An utter bastard, clever, terrifying, merciless and all too willing to sacrifice his sidekicks to save his own arse and Kurtwood Smith turns him from the one note villain he sounds like on paper into something immensely watchable. A bad guy that would slot happily into any film made from the 1970's to now. Thanos? Pfftt. Clarence is the one to be wary of.




Beautiful

 Sometimes you just have to stop and appreciate a thing of beauty

The creamiest pint I've had in years courtesy of an out of the blue lunch meeting with an old friend.

Just look at it. Glorious.

That's up there with the first time you saw Once Upon A Time In The West.

March 22, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 23

 

A favourite character.

There can only be one.

The Italian stallion. The eternal underdog. The man himself, Rocky Balboa. If he dies in the next Creed film I will burn things down.

March 21, 2022

Oscars - My guesses

The Oscars are on Sunday night. I watched em once because I was in America and nearly died of boredom but I do like to guess who'll win and compare my guesses to the actual winners in the morning after. 

Nominees are below and who I think should win and will win.

I tend to do very badly at this. 

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

JESSICA CHASTAIN - The Eyes of Tammy Faye

OLIVIA COLMAN - The Lost Daughter

PENÉLOPE CRUZ - Parallel Mothers                                         (should win)

NICOLE KIDMAN - Being the Ricardos

KRISTEN STEWART - Spencer                                                 (will win)

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

JAVIER BARDEM - Being the Ricardos

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH - The Power of the Dog           (should/will win)

ANDREW GARFIELD - tick, tick...BOOM!

WILL SMITH - King Richard

DENZEL WASHINGTON - The Tragedy of Macbeth

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

CIARÁN HINDS - Belfast                                                       (will win)

TROY KOTSUR - CODA                                                        (should win)

JESSE PLEMONS - The Power of the Dog

J.K. SIMMONS - Being the Ricardos

KODI SMIT-MCPHEE - The Power of the Dog

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

JESSIE BUCKLEY - The Lost Daughter                    

ARIANA DEBOSE - West Side Story                                      (should win)

JUDI DENCH - Belfast

KIRSTEN DUNST - The Power of the Dog                             (will win)

AUNJANUE ELLIS - King Richard

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

ENCANTO                                                                                (should/will win)

FLEE

LUCA

THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES

RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON

CINEMATOGRAPHY

DUNE                                                                                      (will win)

NIGHTMARE ALLEY

THE POWER OF THE DOG

THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH

WEST SIDE STORY                                                               (should win)

COSTUME DESIGN

CRUELLA                                                                               (should win)

CYRANO

DUNE                                                                                      (will win)

NIGHTMARE ALLEY

WEST SIDE STORY

DIRECTING

BELFAST - Kenneth Branagh

DRIVE MY CAR - Ryusuke Hamaguchi

LICORICE PIZZA - Paul Thomas Anderson

THE POWER OF THE DOG - Jane Campion                       (will win)

WEST SIDE STORY - Steven Spielberg                               (should win)

DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE)

ASCENSION

ATTICA

FLEE

SUMMER OF SOUL                                                             (should/will win)

WRITING WITH FIRE

FILM EDITING

DON'T LOOK UP                                                                  (will win)

DUNE

KING RICHARD

THE POWER OF THE DOG

TICK, TICK...BOOM!                                                          (should win)

INTERNATIONAL FEATURE FILM

DRIVE MY CAR                                                                  (will win)

FLEE

THE HAND OF GOD

LUNANA: A YAK IN THE CLASSROOM

THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD                         (should win)

MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING

COMING 2 AMERICA

CRUELLA                                                                         (should win)

DUNE

THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE                                   

HOUSE OF GUCCI                                                            (will win)

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE)

DON'T LOOK UP

DUNE                                                                                   (will win)

ENCANTO

PARALLEL MOTHERS                                                      (should win)

THE POWER OF THE DOG

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG)

BE ALIVE                                                                             (should win)

DOS ORUGUITAS

DOWN TO JOY

NO TIME TO DIE                                                                 (will win)

SOMEHOW YOU DO

BEST PICTURE

BELFAST

CODA                                                                                    (should win)

DON'T LOOK UP

DRIVE MY CAR

DUNE

KING RICHARD

LICORICE PIZZA

NIGHTMARE ALLEY

THE POWER OF THE DOG                                                 (will win)

WEST SIDE STORY

PRODUCTION DESIGN

DUNE

NIGHTMARE ALLEY                                                           (should win)

THE POWER OF THE DOG

THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH

WEST SIDE STORY                                                             (will win)

SOUND

BELFAST

DUNE

NO TIME TO DIE

THE POWER OF THE DOG

WEST SIDE STORY                                                             (should/will win)

VISUAL EFFECTS

DUNE                                                                                    (should/will win)

FREE GUY

NO TIME TO DIE

SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS

SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)

CODA                                                                                         (will win)

DRIVE MY CAR

DUNE

THE LOST DAUGHTER                                                           (should win)

THE POWER OF THE DOG

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)

BELFAST                                                                                     (Will win)

DON'T LOOK UP

KING RICHARD

LICORICE PIZZA                                                                        (should win)

THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD

March 20, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 22

 

The most underrated film? An absolute hooer of a question. Tonight I'll State of Grace. A gangster film that had the misfortune to come out in the shadow of Goodfellas. Irish criminals and their friendships in New York's Hell's kitchen with a career best turn from Gary Oldman as a scumbag you cannot look away from. Yes, the ending is silly but it's very satisfying and everything before it just rocks. Oh and it has a terrifying Ennio Morricone score too as the gravy on top.



Eyebleach

I've seen too much gore onscreen this weekend.

An arse removed and sent to a rich cannibal to eat.

Someone being decapitated by an alligator.

An old woman's head being ran over and squashed by a pick up truck.

A would be heroine blasted in the teeth with a shotgun.

Someone else being pummelled to mush by a shovel.

I need to watch 10 episodes of Peppa Pig in a row to cleanse my brain.



March 19, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 21

 

The most overrated movie. The Deer Hunter. Always. Dull as fuck. There's greatness in there but you have to sit through so much tosh to get there. "But you don't get it so" people say, of course I do. It's not some indecipherable text. "Have you ever sat through it all?" I have. Many times. I've owned it on VHS, DVD and Bluray and everytime I watch it it bores the hole off me. Sorry.

X

A new Ti West film is always a cause for celebration. He's a horror director who loves the genre, who isn't afraid to stir the pot a bit. His new film X doesn't reinvent the slasher movie wheel but it has fun fucking with the formula and goddamn if the man isn't afraid of the red stuff. X is a film that earns it's 18 certificate and wears it with pride. In an age of tame that always feels refreshing. Let the head squashing commence.

Texas. The 70's. A woman runs screaming through a field from a rural farmhouse. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre vibes are undeniable. Leatherface isn't inside though. No, there's something far weirder than any bloke with a power tool. There's someone who wants to be loved and frustration can be a terrible thing, especially when temptation abounds. The gang have arrived at a farmhouse outside of Houston and they've pornography on their mind. The performers are Pearl (Mia Goth), Jackson (Kid Cudi) and Bobby Lynne (Britanny Snow). The crew are Lorraine (Jenna Ortega) and RJ (Owen Campbell) and directing the action is Wayne (Martin Henderson). RJ and Wayne have high hopes for their production, RJ's are artistic and Wayne's are financial. Texas though....morality's a strange thing in the hinterland, sex is the root of all evil but violence, well violence is just a way of life.

In the state of Texas a law exists called the Castle doctrine which means using force is reasonable and justified when another person: unlawfully or with force enters or attempts to enter your habitation, vehicle, or work-place. The back guys of X have technically done no wrong, especially when one of the good guys has encroached on them without permission and yeah Tobe Hooper riffed on this lawful madness back in 1974 with TCM but Ti West leaves the primal, terrifying side of horror to him and goes down a more enjoyable path . There's a lot of fun here before the blood starts to spill and even after it's rusty essence fills the air he still finds way to make you grin at the unfolding carnage. Sometimes you can guess how someone will bite the dust; one nature assisted death is telegraphed early in a beautiful overhead shot, but when it happens you'll still leap out of your chair. 

Other times you won't see it coming at all because of that aforementioned formula fucking. Slasher films can often be accused of slavishly sticking to genre rules but all it takes is a little spin here and there to turn a story towards unpredictable. X does has it eyerolling moments when a character wanders off into the night by themselves towards certain death but it shakes things up enough to stand out in a packed field. It's imagery will stick in your mind too, often not in a nice way. A stunning birdseye view of aquatic danger, a view that's mirrored in a nightmarish escape from a bedroom late in the movie, a reverse zoom shot of a woman on a pier that feels so authentically 70's that you'll forget you're watching a film made in 2021 and fatal encounter by the lights of a car that goes full Dario Argento when blood splashes across a headlight. 


There's substance behind the style too, a story set in the tail end of the era of free love in a country still haunted by it's involvement in the Vietnamese war, where sex feels wrong but violence is the answer. Our protagonists just want to have a good time but in the eyes of others they're sinners. Even amongst their own ranks there's dissent and posturing with West using one scene where a crew member decides to join in the onscreen fun as an excuse to poke fun at male hypocrisy when it comes to matters of the flesh. X's well crafted cast has fun here with Britanny Snow and Kid Cudi being the stand outs as the startlingly confident main performers but it's Mia Goth's strong, believable turn as Pearl who gives the film it's impetus. It's very late in the day when we find out why she is the way she is and mere moments later the whole thing finishes with a kiss off line that will ensure you leave the cinema laughing.

X is showing in cinemas now. It's great fun if you can handle it.


Deep Water

Deep Water is the much feted return of the starry erotic psychological thriller ™ to our screens and from director Adrian Lyne as well, the man who arguably kicked off the genre with 1987's Fatal Attraction. Add in a real life couple playing the couple onscreen and a streaming platform that allows films to be shown without the snips required to ensure a film gets a particular age certificate. This should have been a big ol' slice of filthy fun but the reality is about as horny as guinness fart on a packed bus.

If you're anyway online you'll be intimately acquainted with the numerous Sad Affleck memes floating around these past few years. You know them, Ben on a beach staring pensively into the uisce or having a sneaky smoke, looking like the weight of the world is weighing down on those broad shoulders of his. Deep Water is that meme stretched out to nearly 2 hours and yes, it's about as entertaining as that sounds. Ok, there's fun to be had here but it's the laughing at and not with kind. Ana de Armas does her sultry best as his onscreen wife but oh no, it just ain't happening. When a film's most memorable scene is a reminder that snails have to be starved before they're eaten..... yeah that's not a good sign. And we haven't even mentioned that ending yet. That bizarre, nonsensical final act.

Vic and Melinda Allen are a couple existing in a small Louisiana town. They've long fallen out of love but he allows her to take lovers to ensure that she won't leave him. She flaunts her infidelities in his face and he just watches impassively despite their friends and co-workers knowing exactly what's happening. One night at a party he jokes to her current lover how he took care of a former lover and it sets off a chain of events that well..... you'll have to watch this bland bullshit and find out.

There could have been fun had here. Patricia Highsmith's deliciously dark 1957 novel is the source material and despite being 65 years old it took way more risks with it's story than you'll experience here. If the film had the balls to stay true to the novel you'd have an ending that would make what came before more forgivable but all we get here is a ridiculous bicycle chase following a character appearance that will make you scratch your head intensely trying to figure out the hows and whys of how they ended up where they ended up. It's a laughably bad climactic moment but then soon after the film really strives for a profundity that just isn't earned at all. You'll get it, but you won't like it because the story has chickened out


.The thriller aspect of Deep Water fails miserably so how about the erotic part? Heh. We know the story calls for a distance between Vic and Melinda but there's no bit of spark here at all, no sense of why they'd ever have gotten together. Jesus even Gigli, the notorious Affleck/Jennifer Lopez turkey (gobble gobble!) from 2003 did better on that front, meaning the much feted sex scenes between them just feel limp and kinda pathetic. Surprisingly tame too considering they're directed by the man behind 9 & 1/2 Weeks, Fatal Attraction and Indecent Proposal. They just speak to the fact that modern day film audiences seem to have no appetite for cinematic boom boom. It's a pity and it means that the starry erotic psychological thriller ™ will probably be staying put in the late 80's/ early 90's once again.

Deep Water is streaming online now. You'll be glad you didn't pay to see it in a cinema.

16 films on TV this week you might enjoy

The Elephant Man   Sat   19/3   Virgin Media 3 @ 21.15

The story of John Merrick, a lovely & gentle man, despised by the society he grew up in because of the way he looked, and Frederick Treves, the doctor who treated him like a human. David Lynch's justifiably lauded 1980 drama is a heartbreaking look at a life ruined by a birth defect. A terribly sad but strangely beautiful film. John Hurt in the lead role does career best work while Anthony Hopkins and Anne Bancroft excel in support.

Burning   Sat   19/3   BBC4 @ 22.00

Jong-Su bumps into an old friend of his while working and she asks him for help while she's travelling. On her return she brings back a new partner who Jong-Su quickly becomes suspicious of. Burning's slowburn (hehe, sorry) pace might be off putting to some but stick with it and you'll find a really well put together drama/thriller that will knock around your head for quite a while after it's finished. Yoo Ah-in, Steven Yuen and Jeon Jong-seo make quite the trio.

Bridge Of Spies   Sat   19/3   BBC2 @ 23.30

Cold war intrigue abounds in a gripping drama from Steven Spielberg. An American lawyer hired to deal with a Russian spy finds himself sucked into a negotiation involving a downed U.S. pilot in a Berlin divided in two. Initially slow moving and confusing, but when it settles it turns into both an entertaining watch and a history lesson. Tom Hanks, Mark Rylance and Amy Ryan are all in excellent form.

Climax   Sun   20/3   Film4 @ 01.50

A company of dancers get together for one big celebration. All is going well, laughs are being had, until someone realises that something has gone extremely wrong. Climax is French director Gaspar Noé's tamest film but if it's your first experience of his you might find that hard to believe. It lacks the graphic sex of his better known work but more than makes up for it in intensity and brutality. You certainly won't forget it for a while. Sofia Boutella is a solid lead.

Clash Of The Titans   Sun   20/3   BBC2 @ 13.00

A Greek warrior by the name of Perseus has annoyed the gods and now must literally face hell and high water in his efforts to save the woman he loves from a sacrificial death. Ignore the crappy 2010 cgi strewn remake, this 1981 adventure is the business. Filled with glorious effects work from Ray Harryhausen and a wicked cast that includes Harry Hamlin, Maggie Smith, Laurence Olivier and Ursula Andress. A perfect Sunday afternoon watch but it may be a lil' too violent for the wee ones.

Brewster's Million's   Sun   20/3   ITV4 @ 14.35

Montgomery Brewster's uncle has died and has left him $300 million. But there's a catch. He must first spend $30 million in 30 days and not have anything to show for it. A tough task in the days before bitcoin. Director Walter Hill leaves aside the macho thrillers and westerns he's known for here and while it wasn't well received on release it's actually a charming and funny vehicle for leading man Richard Pryor and John Candy in back up is his usual sparkling self.

Notorious   Sun   20/3   Talking Pictures TV @ 19.00

To atone for the sins of her father a woman called Alicia Huberman delves into the world of espionage to investigate nazis living in South America. Of course, being that it's a Hitchcock film, she falls for her government handler too. 76 years old and still as enjoyable as it ever was, this thriller starring Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant is smooth as silk and full of tension, romantic and otherwise. Keep an eye out for one of the most famous kisses ever filmed.

Fantastic Voyage   Mon   21/3   Talking Pictures TV @ 10.15

Dr Benes, a scientist working on shrinking technology has almost been killed and now his work is the only way to save him, with a team of medical doctors shrank down and injected into his bloodstream to fix him from inside. Yup, I know, it sounds exceedingly silly it's actually really agreeable. It's effects have dated in the 56 years since it's release but it's sense of adventure is intact. Stephen Boyd, Raquel Welch and Donald Pleasence all play their parts gamely.

Lady Bird   Mon   21/3   BBC3 @ 22.00

Sacramento, California is a dull place to grow up and Lady Bird McPherson can't wait to graduate and escape her mother's clutches. She has a lot of growing up to do first though. Greta Gerwig's drama is a stunner, a look at teenage life that will leave you an emotional mess. It's funny, it's painful and it feels alarmingly real. Saoirse Ronan is an amazing lead and her scenes with Laurie Metcalfe as her mother will blow you away.

Slaughterhouse Rulez   Mon   21/3   Film4 @ 23.15

His Da has passed away and Donald is struggling, more so now because he's been enrolled in Slaughterhouse, a posh boarding school full of bullies and rich snobs. Nearby ground fracking is about to make all his problems seem minute though. A forgettable but fun horror comedy from 2018 that laces it's laughs with liberal splashes of gore. It's cast though, wow. Finn Cole, Asa Butterfield, Margot Robbie and Simon Pegg amongst many others have a giggle here.

Badlands   Tues   22/3   TCM @ 23.05

In the heartlands of the United States, a young couple go on a crime spree that brings them to national attention. The first film from Terence Malick is a classic slice of Americana and one that is still being homaged nearly 50 years later. A dreamy, beautiful written but stark and quite brutal film. Sissy Spacek and Martin Sheen are both astounding in a tale that paved the way to stardom for both them and the director.

Battle Of The Sexes   Wed   23/3   CH4 @ 01.05

The eternal question. Who's better? Men or women? Watch now and find out. It's 1973 and there's about to be a tennis match between world number one Billie Jean King and ex champ Bobby Riggs that will answer all. An intriguing watch that will make you laugh and then anger you with it's depiction of the double standards, sexism and misogyny that was...and still is endemic in sport. Emma Stone and Steve Carell do great work as the leads.

Jaws   Wed   23/3   ITV4 @ 21.00

Look, we all know what Jaws is about. But, it's a masterpiece and if you can get a chance to rewatch it you should because it's the kind of movie that will remind you of why you love movies. Robert Shaw's U.S.S. Indianapolis scene is quite possibly the best monologue ever captured on film and oh yeah there's a big shark and Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss are along for the ride too. Did I mention it's a masterpiece? Because it is.

The Witch Part 1   Thur   24/3   Film4 @ 01.10

Ja-yoon, a young Korean woman lives her life not remembering anything about her childhood. A decade before she escaped captivity and now her abilities are drawing attention to her. Here's one you are best seeing cold. It's a twisty, brutally violent film that overreaches in places but you'll have a wicked time with it and don't worry about finding part 2 because it hasn't been made yet. Kim Da-Mi is a memorable lead.

Parker   Fri   25/3   Great! Movies @ 22.00

Parker's a thief, who never kills, who gets the job with no mess and no fuss. Until his team double cross him and leave him for dead. Then all bets are off. Jason Statham's 2013 thriller was not reviewed kindly on release but it does everything you need a Jason Statham film to do. It's fun, it's exciting and the bad guys go splat. Add in a packed cast that includes Jennifer Lopez, Nick Nolte and Michael Chiklis and you have a tasty way to start the weekend.

The Raven   Fri   25/3   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.55

Friday night. The proper time for a Roger Corman horror flick. 16th century sorcerer Dr Craven is mourning a massive loss but a visit from a revenge seeking raven who was once a man gives his life a new meaning. The one you just have to give yourself over too. Don't think about it, just enjoy it. It's cheesy, it's creepy, it's funny and it's cast is outstanding with Boris Karloff, Vincent Price, Jack Nicholson and Peter Lorre all adding to the mix.

If you find an old fave or something new a retweet is always appreciated.


March 17, 2022

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 20

 

Favourite actress? Easy peasy. Kathy Bates. She's a scream, someone who livens up everything she appears in and someone who can do anything. Terrifying? Misery. Motherly? Titanic. Heartbreaking? Primary Colours. Brilliant fun? Bettina in Six Feet Under, a character who burns the screen up every time she appears in a show that too often gave in to it's grimmer tendencies. She even manages to somewhat save that godawful late series of The Office when she turned up. She just makes everything better.


Foscadh

You could call Seán Breathnach's new Irish language film Foscadh (shelter) a companion piece to Lenny Abrahamson's 2007 film Garage and Gerard Barrett's Pilgrim Hill from 2013. All three are starkly realistic looks at rural life and it's effect on the male psyche but thankfully Foscadh has some bit of optimism lurking under it's ambiguous shell. Not much, but enough to give you something to latch onto. It's a fine film but jesus, it will remind you of how lucky you have it.

It's the wank at the wake that really clues you into John's (Dónall O Héalai) mental state. His mam is lying in a coffin in the living room and he leaves the room to have some alone time. He's an adult orphan now, alone in his house in the middle of Connemara and he's a stranger to all those who know him. His uncle Paddy (Macdara Ó Fátharta, Tadhg from Ros na Rún) thinks he's a bit slow but others assume he's just been wrapped in cotton wool all his life by over protective parenting. A desire for chips one night sees him take a beating and his recuperation lets new friends enter his life, Dave (Cillian O'Gairbhi), his hospital roommate and his nurse Siobhan (Fionnuala Flaherty), both of whom may have ulterior motives.

Director Seán Breathnach, working off Donal Ryan's book, The Thing About September, has created a tale that will get into your bones like the damp, windswept locations it's filmed in. Years ago John would be derided as a gomey, a fool, the town weirdo and in more enlightened times we know it's not his fault but Foscadh never gives us any definitive answers, to anything really. Did his parents do a number on him? Why are these new people in his life so nice to him? Is it foscadh they're after or genuine friendship? Why has the town bully such a set on him? What's really going on in that head of his. There's just enough left unsaid and unanswered to keep the film buzzing in your head for days after. There's an air of unpredictability too that will leave you on edge on any number of occasions. A trespass you feel sure will end in tragedy, a night time encounter with an enemy, that drinking game. It's sickeningly tense at times.

Dónall O Héalai is magnificent as John. Just as good as he was in last year's Arracht but so different in his physicality that a casual film goer might never guess the same actor played both parts.Your nerves would be wrecked for him, when locals with their eyes on the future come sniffing around the land that's been left to him, when he's coerced into making his interest known to the opposite sex. Social cues don't exist in John's world, if you've never been taught to interact with the outside world you'll always struggle and that struggle will stay with you for life leading you into morally murky waters. At times it feels like a parable about the dangers of over protective parenting, a warning about coddling but Dónall's work will always leave you unsure in your thinking. 

The same goes for Cillian O'Gairbhi's Dave and Fionnula Flaherty's Siobhan. You're never quite sure where you stand with them. Has loneliness driven them towards John or is it the promise of a free gaff? Will they give him the tools he needs to become his own man or take from him? The wild and boisterous Dave might be easier to read but Siobhan's a vaguer presence with Flaherty doing great work especially during a beautiful campfire scene that points to true motives though then later scenes leave you wondering again. You've got to admire a film that leaves you the dots to join up yourself.

Foscadh is in cinemas now. It's really worth your time.