The Intruder

I went to see The Intruder today. On the way in I tripped and hit my head and woke up in 1991. Chesney Hawkes played over the speakers as we waited for trailers from The Commitments and Ski School to play. Then The Intruder came on. It was grand until I realised the year was actually 2019 and this film was nothing more than a reshuffling of better films we'd watched and enjoyed nearly 30 years previously.

Scott (Michae Ealy) and Annie Howard (Meagan Good) want to move to the countryside from San Francisco to raise their kids and give their relationship a bit of a kick in the pants. The house they settle on is an old beauty in the depths of Napa Valley. It's owner Charlie Peck is struggling to give it up though seeing as he's lived there all his life and all his family memories are tied up in it. But eventually he sells up and heads off and Scott & Annie settle into a more relaxed way of life. Until Charlie decides he's not ready to let go yet.

You go into a movie like this knowing exactly what to expect but hoping it will bring something new with it. Remixing the past just doesn't cut it these days. Cinema audiences are more sophisticated now, we expect more. We don't want the same aul soup reheated, we want cleverness and storylines we don't see coming and can't predict. The Intruder does exactly zero with it's premise. We get the same.jump scare 3 times, and each time it's exponentially less effective. Mere minutes into it we know exactly how it's going to go and who's going to bite the dust along the way. It's an annoying waste of talent and money and that's content to chug chug chug along before it *shocker!!* gets very silly at the end. The nod to The Shining will make your eyes roll right out of your head.

In the last few years there's been a resurgence in African American led horror. Superb films like Get Out and Us have spoiled us rotten and have left us wanting more. The trailer for this looked promising. A modern take on Home Invasion movies but from a different perspective this time. Black faces fighting back, protecting what's theirs. Old white men struggling to hold on to the past and lashing out violently when things change. It looked timely, a film for the age of Der Trumpf. But it wasn't to be. An entertainingly nasty turn from Dennis Quaid as Charlie aside it's a big ol' pile of nothing that cherry picks moments from better films like Pacific Heights and Unlawful Entry. There was an opportunity for a topical thriller here but nah, shoddy old jump scares are just easier. Fines actors like Michael Ealy and Meagan Good deserves better than this tame nonsense.

You won't miss anything by missing on this and if you do go you'll soon realise you've seen it all before. It's yet another bloodless PG-13 bland blend of superior movies. Keep your money in your pocket and wait for it to turn up on Netflix.