Insomnia

Insomnia is shit.

It ruins you. There's no feeling as frustrating as lying in bed, bone tired, wondering why sleep won't come. Then the sun rears it's head and you know the day in front of you is going to be a write off.

The vicious cycle part of it is nearly worse than the tiredness. Getting into bed, trying to stay positive, hoping for sleep but that niggling feeling at the back of your bed, that it's going to keep happening and after a while that niggling feeling is all you can think of. "Why can't I sleep?" "Why me?" "How is it that every other fucker is conked out and i'm here staring at the ceiling like a prick?"

7am. Time to get up. Ugh. I'm crippled. A shower will sort me.

9am. Today will be quiet, today will be quiet. *Walks into work,the place is a battlefield*

11am. Time for a cup of tea. Tea is warm piss but it will wake me up. God i'm wrecked.

3pm. Shattered.

6pm. Second wind. Jeez, I don't feel too bad now. Why is that?

10pm. Hmm, finally I'm feeling a bit sleepy, nice one, I'll hit the hay.

11.30pm. Every thing I've ever regretted comes flying back into my head. That mistake i made 17 years ago that I'd forgotten until right now, now seems like the worst thing ever. Oh deadly, my mind is racing.

2am. Where's my phone? Good jesus how is it 2am. If i go to sleep now i'll get 5 hours.

4am. Fuck.

7am. FUCK.

Insomnia is shit.