6 Underground

There's a car chase at the very beginning of 6 Underground that is everything bad about the films of Michael Bay distilled into one 10 minute long sequence. Epilepsy inducing camerawork, horrible quick cutting to the point where the action is hard to follow, cock jokes, an over reliance on slo-mo and a yellow filter that makes everyone onscreen look like they are in end stage liver failure, and of course a callous lack of regard for both person and property. If this all sounds too much to bear then don't bother even pressing play on this Netflix production. If however you think you can get through all the above then you might have some fun with this. It's not a good film but it's certainly....well it's something.

6 Underground are a privately funded team of assassins who's mission is to lay waste to evil men. Their latest target is Turgistan dictator Rovach Alimov, a tyrannical demagogue who has no issue with bombing and gassing his own people. The killing squad have no names, only numbers (1,2,3,4,5,7......poor 6 didn't make it) and are all assumed dead by their friends and families. They've no past, very little chance of a future and with no concerns holding them back they give their all to their work. Things are about to get bloody.

6 Underground isn't the worst Michael Bay film (Take your pick from The Island, Pain & Gain or Transformers 2-5). Yes i know that's damning it with faint praise but it's more entertaining than some of the snooty reviews about it are letting on. It's brainless fun splashed with enough blood and guts to set it apart from the usual family friendly action movies studios seem content to ladle out these days. Faces pop, bodies are punctured by rebar and kitchen implements, torsos tumble from car crashes like gory ragdolls and we get more headshots here than a multiplayer game of Fortnite. Bay loves his bloody carnage but jesus I just wish he'd make it easier to watch. 

Manic camera work and a very slapdash approach to putting together an action sequence make this a lot harder work than it should be. Things happen that make no sense, nothing big but stuff that could be helped with simple little establishing shots to clue us in to what's happening but Bay has no truck with minor piffle like that. It's all about the next stunt, the next death, the next "oh jesus christ" moment. It's all sensation and no substance. This makes The Rock and Bad Boys look like a particularly emotive Ken Loach movie. There's moments where it strives for depth but they die on their arse when followed by a Las Vegas set orgy/massacre or following a man's head blown apart by a flashbang grenade.

5 Undergrou......no wait.

All that said I still enjoyed it. No..I wasn't drunk. Why do you ask? It's so silly and fast moving that it's hard not to smile at it all. It will beat you into submission and force you to smile tbh. Ryan Reynolds as number 1 tones down (slightly) his usual schtick thankfully. Melanie Laurent does well as a ice cool assassin type and Manuel Garcia-Rulfo has a whale of a time as the morally flexible number 3. The ending of the film throws any remaining screed of realism out the window and it's hard not to be wonderfully disgusted by the sheer barrage of carnage on display. Remember the car chase in Bad Boys 2 and how Bay delighted in the numerous ways a human body can be torn asunder? Well baby you just ain't seen nuttin' yet. Ouch.

Do you like Michael Bay movies? If yes you might be able for this. If no, run far far away. 

This is available on Netflix right now.