Great White

Hell's reef. Why would anyone go to a place called Hell's reef? The clue's in the name. It's a bad spot. Remember what happened on Skull Island?  Go to Tombstone and you're instantly goosed. The shit that went down at Cape Fear? Jurassic Park was built on one of the Cinco Muertes (Five Deaths) islands FFS. Even the kids show Danger Bay had a few seedy feckers knocking about. Next time you jet off somewhere, make sure it's a nice sounding place. And one that's away from the water just to be on the safe side.

Shark films. A horror genre that definitely hit it's peak early. Jaws in 1975 set a high standard for what followed and the vast majority of those films aren't fit to lick it's boots. Jaws 2 was a fun but flimsy follow up. Deep Blue Sea was a silly but entertaining slice of nonsense and you can say the same about The Shallows from 2016 and The Meg from 2019. The Shallow's minor success kicked off a string of holidaymakers in danger movies and Great White is the latest of them. It's a movie that recycles moments from the best films and drags along the cliches from the worst ones.

Kaz Fellows (Katrina Bowden) and Charlie Brody (Aaron Jakubenko) are in a spot of bother. Their seaplane charter company is in trouble and they've a baby on the way, just to add to the financial fun. Both jump at the chance of a bit of business when Joji (Tim Kano) and Michelle (Kimie Tsukakoshi), a pair of moneyed tourists, contact them about a flight to Hell's reef. Along with their assistant Benny (Te Kohe Tuhaka), all 5 fly to place that holds a special place in Michelle's heart. When they land they make a horrifying discovery and it isn't long before they run headlong into the cause of it.

If you can't guess who bites the dust first you should hang up your movie hat straight away. That's the level Great White is playing on. It brings nothing new to the table, it's best moments are clear rip offs of better films, it's entire middle section is deathly boring and from the off you'll know who'll survive. Think of a horror trope and you'll spot it here. Is there a minority character in peril? Yeah, they're shark food. Is the blonde lead on the way out? Ha, yeah right. As a result there's no bit of tension at all. There's not even a decent surprise lurking out on Hell's reef. Other shark movies gave us Samuel L. Jackson's truncated inspirational speech, Ben Hooper's head and a bird called Steven Seagull. What we get here is a lame twist The Meg did better two years ago.

But. The shark is pretty cool. Yes, it's CGI of course because the days of mechanical rubber Bruce's are unfortunately well over but it's a well done effect. As usual it's kept in darkness throughout and introduced in a chilling overhead shadow play shot but when you finally see it head on you won't groan. The dead eyes ("lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes") look even scarier somehow when they're comprised of ones and zeros. It's the one part of the film that really works. The one part that will make you wary about getting your toes wet.

Great White is out on Monday. You've seen it all before and done better too.