Spenser Confidential

Spenser Confidential is a throwback to a simpler time when problems were solved with a judicious application of punches and kicks. Paperwork? Ha! Due process? Chortle! The law? But a mere formality! Sit down, open a beer and a bag of tayto, relax, you've 111 mins ahead of you where you don't even have to think. 

Spenser is an ex-cop with a bad temper. During a housecall 5 years ago he demolished his captain when he suspected him of beating his wife. That smackdown got Spenser thrown off the force and into jail where his patented blend of smart arseyness and fisticuffs made him a enemy of the aryan nation. When he's finally paroled he goes to stay with his former boxing coach Henry (Alan Arkin) and finds himself forced to share a room with a new MMA fighter Henry's training called Hawk (Winston Duke). Hawk's a truck of a man and things are cramped and awkward but he's a free man finally. Unfortunately the day he's released a face from his past is murdered and soon enough Spenser in the spotlight of the cops investigating the killing.

Mark Wahlberg and Peter Berg's 5th collaboration is based on the Spenser series of books written by Robert B.Parker and it feels like a pilot from a 90's action comedy tv show, with added swearing naturally because every fackin' body in Bawstan swears like a fackin' motherfackah. The first hour is a bit of fun filled with broad Boston stereotypes and crunching punch-ups (seeing Post Malone being clouted is nice) crossed with some gentle odd couple humour when Spenser is forced to room with his new dog hogging buddy. But annoying it all rolls downhill into the most generic, bland, going through the motions climax I've seen in an age. Then to top it off it finishes with a franchise building moment so contrived it will make your eyes spin in your head. 

This is a film on autopilot. No one tries hard and the story takes the path of least resistance. There's no surprises and nothing substantial here. It's cinematic fast food. You'll smile and enjoy some of it but an hour later it will be gone from your head, never to return. Unless it gets the sequel it hints at and you'll watch that one while trying to remember this one. It's a film created to fill a space in the action comedy row on the Netflix homepage. There's very little to recommend it apart from the leads and the easy chemistry between them. Wahlberg can do the smart alec pugilist part in his sleep. Alan Arkin does grumpy old man well and it's fun watching the towering Winston Duke (who was loads of laughs in Black Panther) throwing bad guys through tables. All 3 have fun together.

What isn't fun is Iliza Shlesinger as Cissy Davis, Spenser's ex with whom he has a love/hate relationship. She plays a character so annoying that throughout the film I kept hoping for a bullet that never came. But that would have involved the story taking a risk, a bit of a surprise, and this is not a film where surprising things happen. TBH if you don't spot the bad guy the moment he appears you need to give yourself a slap.

This could have been fun had the least bit of effort been put into it. A flavourless insipid climax takes from the good will built in the first half ensuring this will be forgotten by next week. Go on youtube and watch episodes of the old Spenser tv show from the 80's instead. You'll have more chance of remembering them. 

Out now to stream on Netflix.