Fast & Furious 9

The Fast And Furious franchise has always been built around the people in the cars, never the cars themselves. People who embrace one another, reconcile, forgive, the friendships they build and the extended family they are all a part of are the cornerstones the films have been built on. Humanity is key, a fact constantly expounded upon by Dominic Toretto and the people who know him best. Sadly that humanity starts ebbing away fast when FF9 is replacing it's characters with CGI versions of themselves in an effort to up the ante with stunts not physically possible. 

Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) are living the quiet life with his son Brian. A quietness quickly shattered when their ex-handler Mr Nobody (Kurt Russell) is attacked and the tech he was transporting is stolen. Tech that in the wrong hands would end life on earth as we know it. Soon the old team is reassembled and they head off on a globe trotting adventure to take out the bad guys. Bad guys led by Jakob Toretto (John Cena), Dom's estranged brother who hasn't been seen since a family tragedy 30 years before. A tragedy that had lasting effects on both siblings.

The Fast And The Furious series started way back in 2001. It was silly fun, a boy racer's wet dream. In 2011 the fifth installment arrived with added Dwayne Johnson and all sense of realism vanished as the former street racers took part in a heist that left Rio De Janeiro looking like a broken pile of Lego. In 2021 the 9th episode finally touches down and proves once and for all that the franchise has spun right off the planet. Literally. It is absolutely preposterous. From it's opening jungle & clifftop based set-piece to its final lunar decision you'll be gleefully appalled at it's stupidity. Some of ye will love it, but most won't because the story has finally gone to far, with it verging...... no, tipping over into self parody at times. There's no bit of tension anymore because the series has fallen so in love with it's characters that it's afraid to kill any of them off and when it does it ties itself in knots to bring them back. If you've seen the trailer you'll recognise a long dead face and the sleight of hand explanation doled out for his continued existence will make your eyes spin.

Roman, that annoying mouthpiece played by Tyrese since 2 Fast 2 Furious back in 2003, should have been wiped off the map 18 years ago but for some reason he keeps surviving with him at one stage even pondering if he's invincible in a moment that with kill you with cringe. Earlier in the film a chase goes wrong and you think the film is after springing a surprise on us concerning his character but it chickens out and it's right then you know there'll be no risks taken here. It's the same old ding dong once again and while that does have it's pleasures (the Edinburgh chase is great crunching fun and Vin kicking underground ass is a bruising bit of much needed non cgi physicality), it is starting to feel rather old hat. Throw in an desperately forgettable bad guy (Thue Ersted Rasmussen) and an ending that's almost entirely computer generated, including the main characters, and you end up with an installment that will be forgotten fast.

It's annoying because some of it had real promise. Dwayne Johnson is a no show this time around letting us focus on the faces we fell for first time around including Jordana Brewster who's back as Dom's sister Mia. The film starts with a flashback to 1989 that explains a lot of what Dom is about. It's a gritty, grounded & refreshing reminder of how the series started and it's something you'd like to see a lot more of (looking at the up and coming actors in the parts suggests a prequel may be on the cards, wink wink). It's also a film that never forgets it's past with cameos from all the proceeding films popping up throughout to keep all 9 films tied together. Even the much maligned parts 3 & 4 get a nod with familiar faces played by Lucas Black, Bow Wow and Shea Whigham all adding to the stew. In a pleasing callback Whigham's character is still rocking the injury doled out by Paul Walker all those years ago. Small things like this will keep the fanbase interested and the money rolling in even as the series loses sight of what made it so popular.

Fast & Furious 9 is out everywhere tomorrow. In a series known for it's OTT factor it's finally gone too far and that's saying a LOT. Fingers crossed part 10 dials things back a bit. More family BBQ's and less orbit please.