"If you love something.........you shoot it in the face so it doesn't become a flesh eating monster." Emma Stone delivers this stunner of a line. This ain't La La Land though. This is Zombieland and she isn't speaking in metaphors. She also owns a huge gun. Oh things are about to get splattery again. So deeply splattery.
It's 2019, a decade after the zombie apocalypse that destroyed America. Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) and Wichita (Emma Stone) are still together and living it up but now they're living in the White House and taking occasional shots at the rotting monsters knocking around the streets of Washington DC. Little Rock is a teen now and she's hungry for friends her own age. One day she meets a musician called Berkeley and does a runner with him. Usually she'd be fine but the gang has noticed that some of the zombies out there are starting to develop.....strange powers so they head off to get her back. It's not an easy trip.
Metallica songs. Slo-mo gore erupting from the heads of the undead. Zombie kills of the week. Columbus being smug and superior. Tallahasee being a mega redneck. If you loved the first Zombieland and want more the same well then come on down, you'll probably enjoy yourself. But if you want something different, a spin on the formula, a good shake up of things? It's not here and you'll probably leave disappointed. The best zombie films, the Nights, the Dawns, the Days, they used their stories to talk about the real world and the state it was in. Zombieland : Double Tap had a great chance for some vicious shots at the US of A and does nothing with it. Tallahassee has MAGA written all over him, he's living in the White House, he adores guns, the jokes are seemingly tee'd up and then....zip, nada, nyet. A huge missed opportunity from director Ruben Fleischer.
A new arrival to the gang does the original crowd no favours either. Madison (Zooey Deutch, great), mall freezer survivor and relentlessly happy and horny despite the carnage around her. She arrives, she seems to pep things up and then the trio of Columbus, Tallahasee and Wichita treat her like absolute shit and make themselves look like horrible bastards in the process. Our heroes aren't supposed to be like this. They were likable, they were warm and funny, and now they're just bullies. It's a bad decision because horror only really works when you give a damn about the people onscreen.
Speaking of people onscreen, there's way more of them this time around. Rosario Dawson's Nevada, cool as hell, Thomas Middleditch and Luke Wilson as a pair of very familiar fellas and Avan Jogia as the worst person in Zombieland, including the zombies. They mix things up a little but aren't onscreen long enough to have any real impact. Of the original gang it's Woody Harrelson who once again makes the biggest impact. He's having fun and it really shows. The man can rock an Elvis costume like few others and all the film's laughs come from his actions.
There's some fun to be had here but this unnecessary sequel doesn't have anything new for us. If you've ever suffered through the tourist queues for the Leaning Tower of Pisa you may find something to cheer about however. In cinemas now.
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