10 films on TV this week worth watching

Son Of Saul   Sat   26/1   BBC4 @ 21.00

Saul was a Hungarian Jew working in Auschwitz in the latter days of World War 2. A chance encounter gives him a chance to claw back a bit of his soul. Ok, as you can imagine this is a brutal film but it's shot in such a way that you barely see anything. This is a small mercy but your imagination will fill with horror as a result. A tough but very necessary watch. Géza Röhrig as Saul is immense.

You're Ugly Too   Sun   27/1   RTE2 @ 01.30

Little Stacey has suffered a catastrophic loss and has to go to live with her uncle Will in the arse end of nowhere. They both now have to rely on each other to rebuild and move on. This 2015 midlands set story is a lovely watch awash with that beautiful Irish way of making you laugh while kicking you in the nuts at the same time. Laura Kinsella and Aidan Gillen are perfect as niece and uncle. 

Arrietty   Sun   27/1   Film4 @ 11.00

Sho is an ill young boy who moves in with his relations one summer. While there he discovers he's sharing the house with something very unusual. This Studio Ghibli anime is based on the famous children's book The Borrowers and it's just a lovely gentle little film. Full of childhood wonder and imagination. It's a perfect Sunday morning watch and a great introduction to Japanese animation for kids.

The Punisher   Sun   27/1   Virgin Media One @ 21.00

Frank Castle's success at law enforcement comes back to haunt him when his family pays the price during an island holiday. Now he wants revenge. This take on the Punisher comic book is far closer to the comic's tone than the current Netflix show. Thomas Jane as Frank is an intense lead in a film that's both fun and brutally violent. Often at the same time. John Travolta has a good time as the villain of the piece too.

Death To Smoochy   Mon   28/1   Film4 @ 01.30

Rainbow Randolph, kids TV show host extraordinaire has just got the bullet and Smoochy takes over. Soon he's a huge success but Randolph just cannot let it lie. I loved this. It's so deliciously dark that at times you'll be staring at the screen appalled while not being able to stop laughing. Edward Norton and the late and much missed Robin Williams both have a whale of a time in this.

Cape Fear   Mon   28/1   ITV4 @ 22.05

Max Cady is back in town and he's looking to get revenge on Sam Bowden, the lawyer who sent him to jail. Sam's family are in the line of fire too. This 1991 thriller is overblown, silly and hideously violent in places. But a hilariously excessive Robert De Niro performance helps knock the nastier edges off it. Good work from Jessica Lange, Juliette Lewis and Nick Nolte turns it all into a heady brew.

Black Sheep   Tues   29/1   The Horror Channel @ 23.05

Genetic experiments in a small New Zealand town have turned sheep into ferocious carnivores and it's up to the townsfolk to stop them. Yes I know this sounds terrible but it's actually hilarious. Hilarious in an absolutely disgusting way. If you've seen and loved the early work of Peter Jackson this will be right up your street. Do not watch if you are anyway squeamish however.

Magic Magic   Thur   31/1   CH4 @ 01.40

Alicia has left the safety of the United States for the first time to roadtrip across Chile. Her friend Sara leaves her in the lurch and before long everything goes sideways. Of course. A dark and unsettling thriller that takes place in a part of the world rarely seen onscreen. A fine showing from Juno Temple as Alicia and a very much against type turn by Michael Cera combined with a nice atmosphere make this worthwhile.

The Departed   Fri   1/2   ITV4 @ 23.00

Two men go undercover. A criminal as a cop in the Boston PD & a cop in the Boston underworld. It doesn't take long for things get very very complicated. Martin Scorsese's 2007 remake of Infernal Affairs is a joy. Hilarious, brutal, profane, labyrinthine, stylish and exceedingly silly. The cast is second to none too with Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Vera Farmiga, Nartin Sheen & Jack Nicholson all in super form.

Will Penny   Fri   1/2   TG4 @ 21.05

Will's an aging cowpoke who takes a ranch job. On the ranch he's surprised to find love and the beginnings of the family he never had. Until evil comes to town. Because well, it is a western. A really likable, old fashioned and exciting look at the more mundane side of frontier life fronted by a strong performance from Charltion Heston. Keep an eye on the supporting cast too, it's chockfull of recognisable genre faces.

Game Of Thrones S02 E02 - The Night Lands

The long trip up North is getting to Arya. Especially when she has to constantly hide the fact she's a girl.

But she's just meet someone new. Jaqen Hagar. A man with a skill she'll come to know very well in her future. He's the only decent person in a gang of rapists and murderers.

Joffrey's soldiers are looking for her and Gendry. The man in charge, Yoren, he's a decent man. A rare find the king's road.

Tyrion's a happy camper in Kings Landing. Happy out with Shae and taking to his job as the hand of the king surprisingly well. 

Shae & Varys are becoming fast friends. No doubt Varys is worming all manner of Lannister info out of her without her realising it. Tyrion has no time for him though. None. He knows what Varys is capable of.

Jaime's cousin has delivered Robb's terms to Cersei. Even though she knows Robb has Jaime she's having none of it, still seeing Robb as a mere boy who's not worth worrying about.

The rumours about Mance Rayder have comes south too. Another threat for Cersei to scoff at. And still no one believes the stories about the white walkers. Southern fools.

The men of the watch are still at Craster's keep. Sam has starting making goo-goo eyes at Gilly, a daughter wife of Craster. 

He saves her from a run in with Ghost and when he finds out she's pregnant decides to save her.

Jon knows this is going to cause no end of trouble. But Jon is Jon. Man of honour.

Things are bad in the world of the Dothraki. Starvation & misery abound. Her rider's horse has returned with only her rider's head in tow. Someone out there doesn't want to help them.

Theon is heading home to get his family to join the Stark side. It's been a while for him. Gratuitous nudity klaxon! He manages to get the ride on the way. Cos of course he does.

Double gratuitous nudity klaxon!! Back in Littlefinger's (ugh) brothel things are getting very graphic. The semen bit was very unnecessary tbh. Ros is upset. The baby killing has left it's mark on her. Littlefinger tells her it's the way of the world and we get to see what makes him tick.

Podrik! Our first time meeting Tyrion's squire.Tyrion and Janos Slynt, commander of the city watch, are getting to know each other as Tyrion slyly probes him for info on the child killings. He knows what time it is but Bronn's presence in the room has a cooling effect as always. Bronn rocks. Janos's time is up. He's heading north to the Wall. A fitting bit of justice for a scumbag.

Bronn's the new city commander. Quite a step up for a cut-throat.

On the King's Road Arya has a special way of pissing off the people around her. Hotpie talks the talk but does not walk the walk.

She knows there's something special about Gendry too but he's keeping schtum. Until he lets slip he knew Ned. Now they've something in common.

He knows she's a girl too. But Gendry's sound. Arya is safe with him. She even feels safe enough with him to reveal her true identity. She should really keep quiet.

Meanwhile Theon is back on the Iron Islands and no one on the islands gives a shit about who he is.The first thing he does is unknowingly feel up his sister. Yup, he's an ape. This show and brothers and sisters. Weird.

Balon Greyjoy. Theon's father. A weird fella. He has no time for his son. He's now a Stark.

Theon's father has far more faith in this daughter than his son. Theon's ego practically melts in front of us. Ha. Then he realises why his Da won't join the Starks. It's because he wants to destroy them and take the North. Good luck with that.

Davos Seaworthy is off furthering the cause of Stannis. So there are black people in Westeros. I was wondering.

The type of men he's rounding up aren't the honourable type though and his son is scandalised. The young man has a lot of learn about the world he inhabits. Davos is a pretty persuasive dude and Stannis's army is building.

Cersei and Tyrion are still having hops off each other. Tyrion's disgust at Joffrey's massacre orders is clear and even Cersei is struggling with it but she'll never admit it. She knows her son isn't fit for purpose but she's stuck with him.

It's weird seeing this human side to her for once. And now we realise why she doesn't love Tyrion. Their mother died birthing him. Ok, her psychology is becoming clearer. Not excusable but clearer.

Stannis is a grumpy fucker. Not one bit appreciative of Davos's work. I don't like Stannis. He's a dull, blah character. He's a randy one too. 

Melisandre the red witch has him wrapped around her little finger. Guess what her greatest weapon is.

She's Stannis's greatest weapon though. She's going to be dangerous in the future. Very dangerous. Dark magic dangerous and she wants Stannis to give her a son. 

At Craster's keep Jon finds out what is happening with Craster's unwanted sons.They are being given to a dark presence in the woods...........



A dull enough episode. Loads of people and places but not much happening. Things are moving into place for later though.

Next up - What Is Dead May Never Die

Series 1 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 2 - 1

Vice

"The following is a true story.

Or as true as it can be given that Dick Cheney is known as one of the most secretive leader in history.

But we did our fucking best."

Haha. Nice winking quote to start the film.....wait a minute. Leader? But he was the Vice President wasn't he?

Vice is the story of Dick Cheney. From his Wyoming set humble beginnings as a lineman for the county (gotta get that Glen Campbell reference in) to his first day in Washington D.C. where he got a taste for political life. Here he started out as an intern for the morally corrupt Donald Rumsfield and this pairing set the tone for the rest of his career up to and including his years as George W. Bush's vice president. Well I say vice president when I actually mean puppet master extraordinaire. Alongside him every step of the way was his wife Lynne. A perfect match for him. In every way.

This was something else. A film that will leave you despairing for the state of the world while proving the maxim that truth is always stranger than fiction. This played in the Odeon last week as part of a secret screening. The crowd groaned when the name of the film appeared onscreen as we were all politicked out from constant Brexit coverage but 131 minutes later we were rapt. It's the kind of film you leave feeling like you've been kicked in the head. Not so much a political drama as a flat out horror film. It's the story of a man who left carnage in his wake on his way to the top. An absolute monster but one with a human core as you'll see in his scenes with his daughter. A monster who had a finger in every pie and a hand in every act that has left America and the world in it's current dire straits. If this was a made up story you'd be mumbling "fuck off" at the screen as it would seem just too far fetched. But it's all true. Well most of it. Director Adam McKay knows he couldn't possibly know everything that happened so he has a lot of fun filling in the blanks.

For a political horror that will leave you in a rage it's surprisingly funny. The utter absurdity of what plays out onscreen will force shocked laughter out of you regularly. The sheer chutzpah shown by the republican party to get America to agree with the bridge they had to sell them is darkly hilarious especially when you remember just what they got away with. Even Cheney's health becomes a running joke. His numerous heart attacks and his nonplussed reactions to each of them is a source of humour that gets funnier everytime. Don't believe me? Just watch the way Christian Bale plays it. I never knew he could be so funny while playing the scene completely straight. Steve Carell's Rumsfield is priceless too. An utter scumbag who somehow finagled his way into the power structure of Washington. The moment where he bullies Colin Powell feels like it should be happening in a primary school playground and not the West Wing of the White House. A scene that feels ludicrous yet horribly real.

With America the way it is at the moment this feels like the perfect time for this movie. The havoc wrought by climate change, the fear about guns, the opiate crisis destroying vast swathes of middle America, this film suggests Dicky and his gang were to blame for all of them. A tiny scene of solar panels installed by Jimmy Carter on the White House roof being ripped out during Reagan's tenure feels like the seeds being sown for a modern day reaping. At times it's like watching a slow motion car crash playing out in front of you. You'd nearly plead for someone to step in and say "ENOUGH!". Someone like Lynne Cheney. A voice of reason. The conscience of the film. But then she's as bad as him. Worse at times. When their daughter comes out as gay to them he hugs her, accepts her instantly while Lynne worries about the political ramifications. It's a strong scene. One that humanises him some bit while dehumanising her. 

The acting in this is superb across the board. There's no weak link. Bale as Cheney is immense. A venal bastard with a caring side and as good as he's ever been. He slips into the part like a chameleon and soon enough you'll forget you're looking at Batman. Amy Adams as Lynne Cheney is equally good and far from the character you'd expect her to be. No cliched calm and caring wife here. Oh no. She's Lady Macbeth in all but name. Sam Rockwell as George Dubya is great value too. At times playing him nearly too monkey-like but you'll laugh sadly for him everytime he appears. Being played like a fool while thinking he's in charge. The film pulls no punches in showing who was really the man in Washington D.C. Old D.C. himself. He's the man who laid the groundwork for the man in charge today....

This was excellent. Go see it. Be entertained and leave in a rage. Just don't go after 45 mins. There's an in-joke you'll get soon enough.

Game Of Thrones S02 E01 - The North Remembers

Straight into the violence on Kings Landing. Joffrey's idea of a good time is watching the Hound murdering people for an audience.

He's a cruel little shit, even on his birthday. Force feeding a man wine isn't very nice.

Sansa is capable of some form of manipulation and saves the man. A fact that will come back to save her in the future.

Tyrion and Bronn rock up and make him feel like the child he really is. Tyrion has had a taste of battle and is feeling like a big man for once.

Maester Pycelle gets notice from the North that winter is coming. It's time to prepare. Don't worry lads, ive seen the future. Ye've loads of time. Littlefinger (ugh) is being a gowl about it of course.

Cersei not happy to see tyrion has survived. And wait, what was that he was whistling? The Rains Of Castermere! Tyrion knows evoking the captured Jaime's name will get her around to his way of thinking too. Joffrey just needs to be controlled. No more repeats of the Ned Stark incident.

Bran as the only Stark left at Winterfell has to do grown up duties like deal with the law. He's not exactly pleased by this but he's well able for it as the de facto Lord.

Bran's dream time. This stuff bores the arse off me. He's a direwolf now instead of a three eyed raven. His storyline is definitely the worst in the series.

There's a red comet in the sky over Winterfell. Everyone sees it as a different premonition. Osha is the only right one though, seeing it as a warning of dragons.

And speaking of dragons. Daenerys and her very small band of brothers are trekking across Vaes Dothrak. Her 3 dragon pups putting a spell on everyone they meet. But this awe isn't putting food in anyone's bellies.

After council from Ser Jorah she decides to send her three riders out to find a place for them to call home for a while. This series is a dull one for Daenerys. Full of padding. Hmmm i'd forgotten about this. Shit.

The comet is over the land beyond the wall too where Jon and the men of castle black are searching for Benjen. Serious whiff of danger up here and arriving at scumbag Craster's gaff. One of the nastier pieces of work in Westeros. A man who marries his daughters to create more daughters.

Straight away Jon and him become enemies. Jon has a great way of instantly pissing people off doesn't he. Questions are asked about where the wildlings have gone. Seems they've joined up with Mance Rayder. The man gathering them up to take on the south someday.

Gilly!! Our first time seeing her. I'd forgotten she was a daughter of this bastard. 

Three more first times now as we meet Stannis Barantheon, brother of the late King Robert, and his red witch Melisandre. Stannis is a dull forgettable man but Melisandre is deadly. And very powerful. Ser Davos Seawortg is there too. Davos rocks.

Stannis is letting dark magic set his path for being king. A LARGE ERROR. Dark magic is never the way. Davos is skeptical but he's smart too. No point in losing his head yet.

Ned Stark's words have reached Stannis. He now knows Joffrey is a product of incest. He must lay claim to the kingdom now.

Jaime's still rotting in a Stark cell. He's basically a mascot at this stage. Robb has a beard now. Not a boy anymore. And his Direwolf Grey Wind has grown mightily since S1. Stories of Joffrey's parentage are seemingly known all over Westeros now.

Shae is not a fan of King's Landing. She knows that under it's sheen its a shithole. The whores of Westeros are always the smartest people in it.

She's a randy devil. Tyrion landed on his feet with her. They actually seem to be in love. Love never ends well in this show.

Littlefinger (ugh) and Cersei are wondering where Arya is. For two people who know it all she's done very well to avoid her. Littlefinger sics Cersei on Varys. Maybe he'll know. He usually does. Not before he gets a dig in about her "relationship" with her brother. But he's just fucked with the wrong person. She shows him what real power is. Littlefinger is put back in his place fast.

One of Jaime's cousins, last seen in Emmerdale farm, is being sent south by Robb with his terms. He wants his sisters back. And he wants the North to cede from the South. This will not go down well with the Lannister's.

Robb's become a fine leader. Theon Greyjoy is still a rat by his side and wants to ingratiate himself. He can get his own people, of the Iron Islands on Robb's side. 

Catelyn knows the Iron people are not to be trusted. Listen to your mam Robb. And stop making promises you can't keep. Catelyn is so go to make peace with Renly Baratheon to build a mega army. I don't foresee this going well.

Joffrey is doing a bit of redesigning in the throne room. It's all he's good for. He's even calling his grandad's, Tywin, skills as a man of war into question. The dope.

Joffrey isn't a complete idiot though. He knows his father had a load of other children around King's Landing. Children who could have a claim to his throne.

GRATUITOUS NUDITY KLAXON! Ros is now the madame in Littlefinger's brothel.

The relaxed atmosphere is soon shattered when Joffrey's soldiers burst in and murder the baby of a woman working there. Here it is, a glimpse of the utter brutality of this world as every one of King Robert's child in Kings Landing is murdered. A horrible scene.

All but one. Gendry who's on his way north to join the Night's Watch.

Gendry's not alone though. Arya Stark is with him. She made it out.

A good episode. 3 new characters introduced. 2 great, 1 shit. The child killing scene though. Jesus. Even for a show as rough as this that was hard going.

Next up - The Night Lands

Series 1 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

James Remar. Another unsung hero of film & TV

James Remar. You know his face. He's usually a bastard in whatever you've seen him in but he's one of those actors that grabs you by the shoulders and makes you enjoy his work even if you hate his character. It's a rare quality to possess and quite possibly the reason why actors like this can never make the leap to stardom. It's a pity we like our A-lister's so bland and safe because films would be far more entertaining with unpredictable folk like Remar in the lead.

He's taken on Jack Cates and Reggie Hammond. He's been a transformer and a caveman. Had his head blown off by Judge Dredd and been kicked around the place by Johnny Cage. Been a Hatfield at war with the McCoy's and popped up in the oddest remake of the 1990's. He's chased a drugstore cowboy and tried to best Buffalo Bill (He didn't). Appeared in superhero films well before they became the in-thing and did his best to ruin Christmas for Richard Attenborough. He's been murdered onscreen by Pinhead, fought alongside Jean Claude Van Damme, taken on the Lizzies, the Rogues and the Gramercy Riffs. He's died onscreen twice in the same Tarantino film but as 2 different characters and he's even played a dancer. Not a bad all rounder. On TV he's held his own against Samantha Jones (fnarr), Walker of the Texas Rangers, Batman and Crockett & Tubbs. Most people will recognise him as the guiding voice of a certain Miami based serial killer with a heart. Even your kids will recognise his voice from Ben 10. He's made his mark in every genre you can imagine and will continue to do so when he appears later this year in a film that will no doubt be the talk of the town. A 41 year career than anyone would be proud of. Check it out here.

Greatest hits

The Warriors - Ajax. Named after the famous warrior of ancient Greece. As formidable as him too. Let down by the fact that he's an absolute scumbag. Only his second film and that blazing intensity that made him a casting director fave is already present & correct.

48 Hrs - Albert Ganz. The genuinely scary bad guy in the film that made Eddie Murphy famous. 

The Cotton Club - Dutch Schultz. Gangster extraordinaire. A terrifying gangland figure. Just look at the picture below for proof. And yes, that is Herman Munster in the background.

Dexter - Harry Morgan. Dexter's step father might only appear to him in visions but he's a warm, likable presence in a show that needed a character like him. Think of him as the angel of Dexter's shoulder. A rare role where he gets to be sound.

Previous Heroes

Cloris Leachman
James Hong
David Strathairn
Frankie Faison
Conchata Ferrell
Dick Miller
Veronica Cartwright
Edie McClurg
Barry Shabaka Henley           
Raymond Cruz                        
Reg E.Cathey                          
Elizabeth McGovern               
John Amos                              
Bruce Greenwood                  
Mary McDonnell                     
Gerald McSorley                       
John Rothman                        
Margo Martindale                   
Kurtwood Smith                     
Paula Malcolmson                 
Luis Guzman                          
David Morse                           
Linda Hunt                              
Keith David                             
Zeljko Ivanek
Fiona Shaw
Xander Berkeley
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
C.C.H Pounder
William Forsythe
Beth Grant
Sven-Ole Thorsen
Regina King
Ric Young
Mark Rolston
Illeana Douglas
Jeanette Goldstein
Al Leong
Allan Graf
Bill Nunn
Thomas Rosales Jr

The joy of a library

I joined the library today.

It was a fine decision. Anyone reading this who are already members will know exactly how good they've become.

I urgently needed a photocopy of something and the only place to do it was in the city library. Of course I couldn't use the photocopier as I wasn't a member but amazingly had both photo ID and a bank statement containing my address in my pocket so 3 minutes later I was ready to roll. So simple, no silly and unnecessary red tape to deal with, no eleventy million barriers to creating an account. Just a nice smile and a "Here's your card, books are everywhere, music is in that room, computers are upstairs and films are straight over there."

Films.

Sorry what?

The last time I used a library was in 1995. The one in Roscrea sucked and the librarian was a strange woman with a love of hovering noisily at your shoulder. The lack of books, the smell of damp and her over familiarity combined to put me off them for years. I had no idea how much they've changed since. The selection of books is fantastic. They've a huge music section. Computers, net access for those who don't have it at home and yes, they now stock films. You may sneer that in the Netflix age DVD's feel anachronistic but the depth of choice available is fantastic. A wealth of foreign films and older stuff that wouldn't get within a mile of Netflix's servers. Even better is the fact that you can search library databases for films you'd like to see and if another library has it your library will borrow it off them for you.

Look at the selection of films here for example. Dutch, French, Italian, German, Swedish, Belgian, Spanish and a touch of Asian cinema too. That's just one shelf. There's 2 more above it and the 3 shelves below it are filled with classic cinema. To the left and not pictured are 3 different Ingmar Bergman boxsets. He's not for everyone but the fact that I have the option to see them all and for free just makes me so giddy.

It's a ball of culture under one roof and it's all for free.Yup. It doesn't cost a penny to join. And there's no such thing as late fees anymore. If you have stuff out and don't think you will be able to get it back on time you can go online to https://librariesireland.iii.com and renew your stuff. To log in all you need is your surname, your account number and your pin code. While online you can check out whats for rent too and search for stuff in other libraries too. It's really cool and I'm so fucked off that I haven't been doing this for years. I could have saved myself a bomb. Grrr.

Game Of Thrones S01 E10 - Fire And Blood

This is it, the finale of S1. I've no recollection of any of this episode. The stunning ending of episode 9 blew all my memories of it away. I've a feeling it won't be a happy one.

Ned Stark's decapitated head is lifted for the baying crowd. Arya is understandably traumatised. Not least before Yoren think's shes a boy. The blind bastard.

Bran has his legs back so this most be a dream. This 3 eyed raven stuff gets old fast doesn't it. It's nice seeing him bond with Osha though and we get a quick reminder of the stuff before episode 1. 

Rickon talks of seeing his father in Winterfell. They still havent heard the news. THE FEELS.

Catelyn and Robb have. Both are broken. Catelyn hugs a tree while Robb chops one down. The rage is mighty. Can't blame him tbh. This is actually upsetting. Robb can't go to wild though because of his sisters.

Joffrey is fast showing himself to be a cruel fucker. A minstrel's ripped out tongue attests to this after his song mocking King Robert is heard. His reign is going to be a brutal one.

Two minutes later he outdoes his cruelty by making Sansa stare at her fathers head on a pike. Then he gets Ser Meryn to slap her. Man alive he's a bad bastard. The Hound stops her pushing Joffrey off the wall, for her own good. Hmmm, he has a heart. Interesting.

The men of the North want Renly for king. Robb wants King Robert's other brother Stannis. Older, wiser but a lot more violent. Both are bad choices but still better than Joffrey. Then Robb is suggested. Everyone now thinks this is a good idea.  Robb's capture of Jaime must have impressed them. They are fierce fickle folk.

Jaime is now rotting in a Stark cell. Catelyn feels like having a hop off him. She's well able to throw a punch. Jaime's slagging off dead Ned. You get the feeling he wants a quick death as he confesses to her about Bran. Catelyn won't fall for it though.

Now we find out Cersei is riding her nephew. First her brother then her nephew. She's an odd yoke.

Tywin is like a demon over his son's capture and wants to fight. Tyrion knows this ain't a good idea. Tywin knows it too but can't lose face. Father and son have a drink and Tywin realises Tyrion might actually be good at war despite his small stature.

Tyrion is going to king's landing to serve as hand of the king and to keep Joffrey in line. He no more wants to do it but no isn't a word Tywin Lannister deals with.

In Vaes Dothrak, Drogo is in limbo. The blood magic ritual used to save him has turned him into a living zombie and the whole ordeal has wrecked Daenerys. 

Her son has been stillborn and her husband taken from her. Brutal.

The witch who performed the blood ritual has had her revenge. Drogo and his infant son for her raped and ravaged village. The Dothraki have left. Daenerys is alone, just her and Ser Jorah. Vaes Dothrak is a merciless place.

At the wall, Ned's news has arrived and Jon is about to abandon his post to look for revenge. A crime punishable by death. 

Tyrion and Shae became a couple fast didn't they. She has no place in King's Landing but Tyrion wants her there anyway. A terrible mistake from both of them.

Jon's ride south is cut short by his brother's from the wall. They know he's a dead man if he goes and they are dead without him. They're good boys at the wall, good boys with Jon's best interest at heart. It's a great scene.

Daenerys knows its cruel to keep the comatose Drogo alive but can't bring herself to deliver the coup de grace. Until she does in a moment still genuinely surprising. Drogo is dead. Long live Drogo. Both him and Ned Stark gone within 2 episodes. Everyone is expendable. EVERYONE.

Exposition time with Grand Maester Pycelle. A cunning man, far more vital than his slow walk lets on. GRATUITOUS NUDITY KLAXON! Ros is entertaining him. She really gets around. Pycelle still isn't sure what horse to back in the King race.

Littlefinger (ugh) is eyeing up the Iron Throne once again. Varys knows he's a rat bastard. Varys also seems to be the one person in the Westoros who isn't power hungry.

Littlefinger will happily bow to Joffrey but you know he'd put a knife in his back in a second. He's a coward though. He'd never do the dirty work himself.

Yoren and Arya are getting out of King's Landing. Arya in disguise as a boy named Harry. Oh what adventures she's about to have.

She's heading north with a band of brigands. Including a certain faceless man. And HOTPIE!!!

Gendry's on the trip north too. Him and Arya become fast friends. He knows there's more to Arya than meets the eye. Smart fella. Has his fathers wits about him.

Jon is back. His friend's words worked. Commander Mormont knows what happened but he's cool about it. Once. No more nonsense will be accepted. Mormont has tales of horrible things beyond the wall. The White Walkers stories are flying thick and fast. 

The men of the wall are heading north. They won't be south of the wall for quite a while again.

Drogo is to be burned as is the custom of his people. Daenerys decides to burn her dragon eggs with him. AND HERSELF!! HMMM, THIS COULD BE INTERESTING.

The fire is out. But somehow Daenerys has survived. She is the dragon.

But more than that, her dragon eggs have hatched. She now has 3 winged beasts to help her take over the world. How fucking cool is that.

S1 holds up really well. No filler, no extraneous characters brought in to fill the running time. Lean and mean. That was class.

Next up - The North Remembers

Series 1 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9

Mary, Queen Of Scots

Historical films are tricky. Be true to the texts and you risk boring casual audiences to death. Be creative with the texts an you risk alienating historians and that virulent brand of film fan who believes any type of deviation from the truth is a moral outrage. Mary, Queen Of Scots falls between truth and creativity. It's a bit dull in places and outright makes up one big chunk of the story but luckily for us we also get two lead performances so good that we can forgive any longeur or flat out fabrication.

Mary Stuart has returned to Scotland, the land of her birth and she has a legitimate claim for the throne of England, a position currently held by her first cousin Elizabeth. Elizabeth has been unable to have a child and feels threatened by Mary's youth and vitality. Mary's a Catholic too, a fact that does not go down with the English parliament and the fact that's she a woman in charge maddens many within her own circle. She might be the person wielding power in the north but her life was still subject to the whims of the men in her council.

This was a hard film to like and it's definitely not one you'll enjoy. Life for a woman in the 16th century was tough and the film has no qualms about showing us just how brutal the times could be. Power didn't matter a damn if you had the wrong genitialia and various dehumanising moments will kick the heart of out your chest. Our own Saoirse Ronan, an actress we've seen grow from a child into an actress of amazing talent, it's tough to see her treated this way. Her Mary is a fully rounded human being who you want to succeed even if you know the outcome of her story. One moment where we think she's found a loving, generous man is shattered when he's revealed to be just another scumbag and it's just fierce hard to take. For us and for her. Her fragile self struggling to stand tall as man after man shows himself to be a disappointment. Yet the moments she does stand tall are awe inspiring. Leading her forces into battle. The loyalty she inspires amongst her ladies in waiting. Her final scene. That colour red. Wow.

Elizabeth meanwhile has her own problems. Smallpox has, in her own mind, ruined her features, her body has betrayed her and her lack of an heir mortifies her. (Check out the comparison of her hobby and Mary's scene of labour.) She's being pushed back and forth about how she's going to deal with the problem of Scotland by the men in her council and like Mary she has to stand up for herself as well. Margot Robbie as Elizabeth has a smaller role than Saoirse but she's just as good, and not one but vain about how she looks throughout the film. Like Mary, she's a mix of fragility and towering strength and Robbie carries it all with aplomb. They had far more in common with each other than any of their so called allies. It's a pity history, religion and politics forced them away from each other.

As mentioned earlier these two fiery performances help the film rise above it's duller scenes (aka whenever Mary or Elizabeth are absent) and more confusing moments. It's a good idea to go into this movie knowing a little of the history because a few lines at the start of the story aside, we get very little hand holding here. You'll have plenty of "Who's he. What's happening? Why do they all have to have beards?" moments throughout. It does become clear eventually but it can be frustrating at times. As a history lesson it leaves a lot of be desired but it's great to see this story onscreen. Traditionally these historical period dramas are packed with bloodied, screeching men in kilts rendering each other down to gristle and bone on a battlefield so it's always refreshing to see a more sedate, considered take on events. 

It's worth making the trip to the cinema to see this for the 2 lead performances alone. Don't go in expecting the Braveheart/Rob Roy film promised by the trailers though. Instead expect a story dealing with sexual politics, power and patriarchal structures that still feels topical 400 years after the fact.