Tyrion's court outburst has Jaime enraged. Tyrion would have been free to live out his days at the wall had he just kept schtum. But Tyrion doesn't do schtum.
He's bitter. He knows he's just a pawn in a political game and he's jealous of his brother, the golden child.
He asks Jaime to be his champion. To fight for him during trial by combat. Jaime declines. He only has one hand now. He and Tyrion wouldn't have a hope. Tyrion's dreams of a future are fading fast. His last hope is his old buddy Bronn. But god only knows where he is.
The other fighter in this trial is known other than The Mountain, Ser Gregor Clegane. We meet him disemboweling and dicing prisoners for practice. Cersei decides to greet her champ in person. The spilled intestines all around don't bother her a bit. She's a hard one.
The Mountain's brother, the Hound is still on the way to the Vale with Arya. They come across a wounded man who The Hound puts out of his misery. Moments later they meet the men who injured him. A right pair of scumbags.
One jumps on the Hound and bites a lump out of his neck. His life is snuffed out fast. The other explains they are attacking them because there's a bounty on their heads. Arya kills him fast. She's getting good at this.
At the wall Jon and his men have returned from Craster's Keep after a successful mission. Sam's delighted to see his buddy home. Ser Allister Thorne is not. He'd been hoping Jon would be killed.
At a debriefing he speaks of Mance Rayder's proximity. He has a plan to block the tunnel in the wall to make it harder for him to attack. The other's are having none of it. They see it as a decision that would make life very hard for themselves. Once again no-one listens to Jon, the only fella of the bunch that has any idea what's coming. Fools.
Ser Allister lives to belittle Jon and makes a right meal of it here. He's an awful wanker. To punish Jon he gives him nighttime watch atop the wall. Sam gets to go along for the ride too.
Bronn finally turns up to Tyrion's prison cell. Tyrion implores him for his help, to be his champion. Bronn is smart though. He's been offered a rich wife by Cersei who forsaw him being asked. He knows he can't beat the Mountain. He declines. Tyrion is upset but knows it makes sense. They say their goodbyes. A genuinely sad scene for 2 great characters.
In Meereen, Daenerys is surprised in her bedroom with Daario Nahaaris. He knows what he wants. She's up for it. She demands he take his clothes off. Queens have needs too. *gratuitous arse shot*
On Dragonstone, Stannis's wife Selyse visits Melisandre in her bedroom too. No boom boom here though. She wants her council. Melisandre tells her that her daughter Shireen needs to travel with them to their next battle. Oh christ, don't be letting that witch near any children.
The next morning Daario leaves smiling. Ser Jorah witnesses his exit and he's not one bit happy. His jealousy is clear and he still doesn't quite trust Daario.
She tells Jorah of her plan to retake Yunkai. He thinks it's a waste of time and resources. He's shocked by the brutality of her plans for the city and manages to change her mind. To show Yunkai humanity and take it back that way.
Jorah is definitely her best asset. If only she'd stop and realise it.
The bite on the neck the Hound received earlier was a bad one. It won't stop bleeding and it's probably infected. He can't stop it by himself and Arya offers to help. Sadly her help means using fire to cauterise it.
The Hound freaks. His fire phobia is in full effect. He could take another stabbing over fire. He comes clean about his scars and how his brother, The Mountain, gave him his lifelong fear. I can't wait until the day the two of them clash. It will be fucking epic.
It's strange but kind of cool seeing a human side to the Hound. For such a vicious bastard he's a truly great character. Full of layers. But very handy to have around in a fight.
On the Kingsroad Pod and Brienne are still heading North to the wall. They stop off at an inn for grub and run into none other than Hotpie. Brienne asks if Sansa Stark has been seen in the area and Hotpie shuts up fast.
The next day as they leave Hotpie sneaks up and mentions he knows Arya. Brienne is shocked because everyone assumed Arya was dead. He tells them Arya and Sansa's last relative is Lysa Arryn and so Brienne and Pod are now heading for the Vale too. Hmmm.
In King's Landing Tyrion is brooding in his cell. Very understandable. He's been abandoned by everyone he ever loved or was friends with. It's a dark time for him. Death is in his headlights.
He gets one last visitor. Oberyn Martell. What could he want?? I wonder. He speaks of Cersei and her sneakiness. He has no love for Cersei but he's interested in Tyrion. They have things in common. They both hate Lannister's.
Oberyn speaks of his dead sister and their early meetings with the Lannister's in Casterley Rock. He met Tyrion once before when they were both very young and even then he could see Cersei's hate for her little brother clearly.
His real reason for visiting though is to be Tyrion's champion. By doing this he'll get to fight and kill The Mountain. The man who raped and killed his sister. He'll finally get his revenge. Tyrion has a chance at living once again.
In the Vale Sansa is having a cold and miserable time. She's been promised to freaky Robin as a wife and she ain't happy. He's a little gimp.
He throws a strop at her and she slaps him to calm him down. Big mistake. She's incurred both his wrath and that of his freaky mama Lysa.
The whole kerfuffle is witnessed by Littlefinger (ugh). Littlefinger tells Sansa some home truths. That he loved her mother Catelyn and his murder of Joffrey was partly out of revenge for her death.
Then he kisses Sansa. What the actual fuck. He wants a Stark badly. He's a freak. Lysa sees the kiss. She's apoplectic with rage at Sansa now.
Lysa summons Sansa. They stand above a trapdoor in Lysa's court. The trapdoor with a 200 metres drop below it that's used for executions. Run Sansa run!! She accuses Sansa of trying to seduce Littlefinger. She couldn't be more wrong. She grabs Sansa and attempts to kill her by dropping her out the door. Littlefinger rocks up and stops it all thankfully.
And then he does one good thing and throws Lysa down the hole.
A solid episode. Oberyn Martell vs the Mountain has been set up and a horrible character gets her comeuppence. Very satisfying indeed. Now if only the Daenerys storyline would start hurrying up. It's been almost 3 seasons of padding by now.
Next up - The Mountain and the Viper
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 4 - 1 2 3 4 5 6
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