February 20, 2019

Game Of Thrones S04 E01 - Two Swords


Season 4 opens with Robb Stark's ancestral sword, Ice, being melted down. An act overseen by Tywin Lannister. It's split in two. Two swords from one. There's a phallic thing going on here but I can't be arsed to go into it.

One of the swords goes to Jaime Lannister. His first Valerian steel sword. He can't use it yet so will have to learn to fight with his remaining hand. He's also informed that he can't serve in the Kings guard with one hand but he has a way around that.

Tywin's other son Tyrion is on the King's Road with Pod and Ser Bron waiting for some new visitors. The Prince of Dorne, Oberyn Martell is coming to be a guest at Joffrey's wedding.

Pod has superior knowledge of the houses of Dorne. Tyrion and Bronn havent a clue. He's a decent squire.

The visitors don't think much of Tyrion. He gets no respect from anyone, visitors or his own.

Prince Oberyn is straight into the brothels of King's Landing. He's not a shy fella. Either is his wife Ellaria. They both like to indulge *Gratuitous nudity klaxon* Both of them are bisexual as hell and they are going to enjoy their time here.

That fun time is soon ruined by a run in with Lannister men. It's obvious Prince Oberyn doesn't like the Lannister's. The soldier he has a run in with is maimed straight away and Tyrion gets to witness the whole bloody scene.

Oberyn Might be here for the wedding but he's also here on a quest. He wants to kill the man who raped and murdered his sister Elia. Elia was once married to the Mad King Targaryen and when he was killed by Jaime she was killed by another Lannister acolyte.

None other than Ser Gregor Clegane, The Mountain. The brother of The Hound. That will be an interesting clash if it comes to pass.

Oberyn isn't hiding his plan. He wants Tywin Lannister to know exactly why he's at the wedding. He wants blood and he aint leaving til he gets it. He's an interesting character. I like him. I hope he sticks around.



Across the sea in Yunkai Daenerys is looking content. So are her dragons who are growing at an exponential rate it seems. They are getting scary looking now. And she's starting to realise they'll never be fully tame.

Her army is on the march to Meereen. The next Slaver's bay city is on her hit list. Her army is humongous now but it's leaders Daario Nahaaris and Grey Worm are bonding with each other and not taking things seriously. Grey Worm seems to be taking a shine to Missandrei too. Aww thats nice for him.

Sansa is still in mourning for her mam and brother unsurprisingly. The gory details of their deaths has filtered through. Shae is worried, as is Tyrion. It will be a while before she's ok again. The poor dote. 

Meanwhile Shae wants to nail Tyrion. It's been too long since they were together. Tyrion is terrified they'll be caught. Be wary Tyrion, don't piss her off too much. She tells Tyrion of Varys' offer to her. She thinks it was his idea.Now she's mega pissed. And it's all been witnessed by Sansa's other handmaid.

Qyburn has created a golden hand for Jaime. It's a gift from Cersei to help his balance. He feels like a lemon with it on. Her and Jaime talk about their broken, twisted relationship and the fact that their daughter Marcella is in Dorne all alone. 

Cersei's pissed off with Jaime. He's been away too long. They are soon interrupted by the haidmaid who witnessed Shae & Tyrion's kerfuffle. I wonder what she has to tell them???

In the North Tormund and Ygritte especially are still stinging from Jon Snow's betrayal. They are waiting for Mance Rayder to tell them what to do next. Tormund knows Ygritte let Jon live and he's angry. Reinforcements turn up to fight with them. Cannibalistic wildlings called the Thenns. Men who make the Wildlings look like a shower of Pikachu's.

Preparation for the coming battle with the undead is taking place at Castle Black. Jon has just found out about Robb. He's heartbroken. He also has to deal with the fact that he killed a fellow ranger, Qhorin. A fact that Ser Thorne is going to make the most of.

Jon tells them they have bigger problems. Mance Rayder and his army of 100000 wildlings for one. Plus Tormund and his gang are here already. They plans to attack Castle Black from the south while Mance attacks from the north.

In King's Landing. Olenna and Margaery Tyrell are discussing the wedding. Nothing is pleasing Olenna. Apart from the appearance of Brienne of Tarth. She's there to talk to Margaery about the death of her husband Renly. One day she will kill Stannis to avenge Renly.



Jaime is planning wedding security with Joffrey and ser Meyn Trant. Oh I hope it all kicks off at this wedding, Bad things do tend to happen at Westoros weddings.

Joffrey is ranting about his battlefield prowess. Both other men in the room know he's full of shit but let him talk away. It's a joy seeing him prove how much of a cunt he is. His lack of respect towards Jaime is telling. Obviously he doesn't know who his real father is.

On the march to Meereen Dario Nahaaris tries his hand with Daenerys. He's a pure charmer. It's obvious she fancies him but doesn't know what to make of him. A shout interrupts his flirting. Something horrible has been found.

Slaves are crucified the full length of the road to Meereen. It's slave owner revenge for the sacking of Yunkai. Daenerys is furious. 100's lay dead on the road ahead of them. But she's going to pay her respect to all of them. Then decimate Meereen.

Brienne and Jaime look down on Sansa who's in the gardens looking for solace. Brienne harangues Jaime to follow through on his promise to deliver the Stark girls to their mother. However she's dead and Arya is missing. There's not much he can do in fairness

In the garden Sansa is approached by a very drunk Ser Dontos. Once a knight and now Joffrey's fool. He gives her a wedding present. It's an odd scene. I've a feeling he's getting her to remember his face for some reason.

A grieving Arya is still with the Hound. He's now bringing her to the Vale to ransom her to her aunt Lysa Arryn. He's all about the cash. 

They stumble across a massacre and later in a tavern stumble across the men who did it. They're Lannister's. Arya recognises one of them as a soldier who killed her friend Lommy and then captured them and took them to Harrenhal. She spots he has her sword. She wants revenge. The Hound wants food. Now their chance for both.

They enter the tavern. Arya's enemy recognises the Hound straight away because he works for his brother the Mountain He offers him a job. Predictably the Hound tells him to fuck off. It kicks off. The Hound destroys them. Except one. He leaves the last one from Arya.

He relishes the opportunity. She takes back her sword from him and them slowly pushes it through his neck. She's become a killer through and through. Her childhood is over. Her innocence is lost.



A pretty excellent start to season 4 all in all. I'm expecting fireworks in the next episode too.

Next up - The Lion and the Rose

Series 1 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10


Series 2 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10


Series 3 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

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