August 01, 2018

Drink. Feck. Off.


We've a strange aul relationship with alcohol. Irish men in particular. Your capacity for beer = how people judge you.

Drink too much?

"Don't mind him, he's only a pisshead."

Drink too little?

"Don't mind him, he's thinks he's special."

You can't win. Too much and you're looked on with derision. Too little and derision becomes suspicion.

For years I could murder pints. A gallon of porter in a night wasn't an issue at all. I used to love it and I have some great memories of super nights out with friends, some of who aren't here any more. One Monday morning I was chatting to a co-worker who sat beside me absolutely broken. He was around 10 years older than me and decided he couldn't do it anymore. Not the drinking part but the next day part. He told me that as you got closer to 40 the hangovers just get worse and worse and that it would happen to me too.

I laughed it off of course. And of course it came true. I started noticing that what would have taken me an hour or two to shake off before was starting to stretch into the afternoon and then the evening. Wasn't just a sick stomach either. Your head would be playing games with you too. The fear. The bastard fear. The feeling of impending doom. Stupidly going over decisions made years before and gnawing at them even when you couldn't possibly change the outcome now.



Then one night myself and one of the boys drank a load of gin. Gin for jesus sake. The things they say about the after effects of gin are true. I had a traumatic hangover the next day. One where you want to cry but you're so dehydrated that you can't. One where you want to puke but it just isn't happening. A hangover so bad that it made me speak those oft repeated immortal words "I'm never getting drunk again".

Of course I've been drunk since. Exactly twice. Both times I felt like death the next day. A sweating, shivering, I'd gladly embrace the sweet release of death kind of hangover. But it's been 6 months since I've been drunk now and I do not miss hangovers one bit. I'm far from born again though. There's still nothing as nice as a good, well poured pint of porter but now one is generally enough.

But when I mention this I still get that side eye look from some people. That look of "what's he up to?" and I even got the old "You think you're something special don't you?" from one of the lads at home when I made the mistake of talking about it. It would be great if Irish lads could just accept that drink isn't for everyone and that people can change in regards to their consumption of it. 

I'm not preaching abstinence or cutting down btw, you drink away, just don't get ratty when others don't want to.

Remember these words.



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