The geekiest weekend

For some reason I look like I've pissed myself. I can assure you I hadn't. I think. Plus I had hair :(

The weekend of the 21st of February 2009 was quite possibly the geekiest time of my life. There's been a few contenders but that one is king.

I was in San Jose visiting two of my best friends Moloney & Iantha. I've been friends with Moloney since we were 5 and when they moved to California for work I went over to visit them. This was my third time over and this time we decided to go to Los Angeles for a few days. I was giddy as hell. We were going to see Hollywood. Lala land. The place were films were made. The weekend we were going was the weekend the Oscars were on too. This is why I remember the date so precisely. Sure you couldn't pick a better time to be there.

The first day there was fun. We landed at Long Beach Airport (previously known as John Wayne airport btw) and drove straight to Disneyland. Disneyland was class and I enjoyed it far more than I thought I would. Its a tiring bastard of a place though. Afterwards we got back to our hotel in Studio City (beside a porn studio no less) for a much needed kip. The next day was a big one. We were going to Universal studios for the day and that night we were going to a pre Oscar party hosted by none other than HBO. How we got an invite to that I'll go into later.

I was like a small child dosed up with caffeine the next morning. Raring to go. Buzzing actually. On the way I got my first glimpse of the Hollywood sign which was a massive disappointment. It was tiny. And then we were there. Universal studios. Home to so many of my favourite films. ET, Jaws, The Blues Brothers, Videodrome, Midnight Run, the numerous Universal Monster films and so on. We paid for the full pass which gave us a tour of the studio backlots as well as letting us go ahead of the queues. It was so worth the money.

We did the tour first. I went into extreme geek mode as we drove through a western main thoroughfare watching gunfights break out and stunt men falling from saloon roofs. There was Wild Bill playing cards in the saloon where he was shot by Jack McCall! Was that Doc Holliday? Why is he in Deadwood?? Who cares. Then all of a sudden we were looking at Norman Bates' creepy house that overlooked his motel. Marion Crane's Cadillac still idling outside as Norman carried her body into the boot. Seeing that house in the distance will never not be creepy. Hitchcock's classic had made sure of that.

Norm's gaff

Next up was a ripped apart suburb with a crashed plane alongside us. The tour guide informed us this was the crashed plane from War Of The Worlds and that this new part of the tour had been added after a fire had destroyed the King Kong and Back To The Future segment which was a pity. Numerous other film sets came and went like Backdraft, Jurassic Park, Earthquake and then all of a sudden we were passing through water. That famous 2 note movie theme kicked in. I WENT FULL NERD. The great white shark from Jaws was rushing towards us in all its shoddy animatronic glory. I loved it. Felt a bit high actually. Nothing else we saw that day compared to that moment. The model of Bruce the shark was ropey as hell but fuck it, that was cinematic history swimming by us and it doesn't get much cooler than that. Oh course in all my excitement I didn't snap a pic but it's good to live in the moment too.

No time for a flaming moe

A fool and a shark

The Waterworld show

That evening we headed to west Hollywood for the party. I always feel out of place at parties so you can imagine how I felt here. It was hosted by HBO though. HBO. The channel that made Oz, The Wire, The Sopranos, Rome, Deadwood. All my favourite shows. My friends had been invited by a work friend who's sister had made a documentary called The Final Inch (I think this is it anyway) that had been nominated for an Oscar. I'd never met these people before but when would I ever get a chance like this again. The star spotting started early. I was like a gibbering eejit. Got chatting straight away to Misha Collins ( Castiel from Supernatural) who was impressed that I remembered him from the 1st series of 24. 

Morgan Spurlock was there. Pamela Adlon was having a fag outside. Alexander Skarsgard who's star was on the rise after Generation Kill, the rapper Tone Loc who I knew from Heat and others long since lost to my memories. Then at the end of the night we found ourselves at a table with Danny Glover. I was sitting beside Roger Murtaugh. I was mad for a chat with him, to talk about movies and tell him how much I'd enjoyed his performances over the years. Now was my chance........and I failed miserably. A few garbled drunken platitudes went his way and I slunk away in shame. Oh well.

RIP River

Alright Hef

"Domino Motherfucker!"

The next day was a hungover spin around the city. Los Angeles and Hollywood especially is a shady looking kipshop but there's just something about driving through it that's exhilarating to a movie fan. After New York it's probably the most filmed city on earth and everywhere we went we recognised places from movies or from stories about celebrities. There's the Chateau Marmont where John Belushi died. The Pacific Dining Car. The hotel Barton Fink stayed in. There's Crenshaw Boulevard from Boyz N The Hood and Menace II Society. It's the beach from Baywatch. The Venice Beach Boardwalk. The pier from Falling Down. The football stadium where Bruce Willis danced a jig in The Last Boy Scout. The Viper Room where River Phoenix died. Grauman's Chinese Theatre and the Hollywood walk of fame were on the list too but annoyingly were off limits due to Oscar security so we fecked off into the Hills. There was the Playboy mansion. Annette Bening's gaff. Jack Nicholson's house which overlooked the Hollywood bowl. The former homes of Greer Garson, Lupe Valez, David O. Selznick, Theda Bara, Conrad Veidt & Ray Milland. We drove past them all, new and old. Everywhere you look in that town is cinema. Everywhere is steeped in it. I was in heaven.

It was a fine way to spend a few days.