It's learning time in Meereen. Missandrei is teaching Grey Worn, the leader of The Unsullied to read and help him become a better leader. They are getting to know each other too. This will please Daenerys.
Both of them have never known freedom like this. Both were raised as slaves. Working with Daenerys is the best thing they've ever done. Her troops are happy and gelling. This is working out great for her.
Grey Worm and a band of his Unsullied sneak into Meereen at night. There's only a handful of them but their plan is to arm the slaves inside and start an uprising. The slaves are skeptical but Grey Worm is persuasive.
In the morning the slaves have taken Meereen. They've earned their freedom. Most of the slave owners are dead and Daenerys army has once again swelled.
In a show of strength Daenerys has the surviving slave owners crucified to appease the slaves. Ser Jorah and Selmy don't agree but she's the one in power. Meereen is hers.
In Kings Landing Jaime and Bronn are still sprarring and Jaime's skills and confidence with a sword are returning fast. He still has a long way to go though and Bronn is an unforgiving teacher. Which is good because fuck Jaime.
Jaime still isn't sure if Tyrion had a hand in Joffrey's death. Bronn knows he didn't and guilts Jaime into going to visit him. I heart Bronn. He has a great way with words.
Jaime and Tyrion get on great. They truly love each other and it doesn't take Jaime long to realise Tyrion is innocent. He wants to help his lil bro but what can he do?
Jaime does however think Sansa had a hand in the murder. She did a runner, why would she do that. Tyrion is convinced of her innocence and also convinced that Cersei won't rest until he's dead.
Sansa meanwhile is still at sea with Littlefinger (ugh). He's marrying her aunt Lysa but she's wary of his motives for bringing her along. She thinks he's the one who killed Joffrey. But he's covered his tracks in such a way that Sansa will get the blame when investigations kick off. He's a snakey hooer.
He hints at the people he's working with. The next scene fills us in on who they could be. Olenna Tyrell herself. During a little history lesson with her grand-daughter Margaery she tells her just what exactly she's capable of. She did it to protect Margaery because marrying Joffrey was a fate worse than death.
At the wall, Jon is leading training for the battles to come. He's whipping the troops into shape big time. Olly, the young boy who saw his parents killed by Wildlings is mad to learn. Locke, Roose Bolton's man is there too, on his way to kill Bran and Rickon.
Ser Thorne still has a chip on his shoulder about Jon and stops him training the others saying he's never officially been made a Ranger. He's right but Jon is still better than them all.
Jon's idea of a march to Craster's Keep to kill the mutineers suddenly makes since to Thorne. Let Jon off on a suicide mission and kill two birds with one stone.
Locke makes contact with Jon. Little does Jon know Locke has orders to kill him if he gets in the way of his plan to kill Jon's half brothers.
The twin traumas of her rape and the death of Joffrey are tearing Cersei apart. The fact that she has Jaime protecting her too is another kicker. The fact that Jaime believes Tyrion is innocent enrages her and she know wants her remaining son Tommen protected from everything.
Margaery Tyrell still manages to get into his room at night. This is a creepy scene. She's easily twice his age. She wants to ingratiate herself with him before Cersei can ruin her in his mind. Tommen is easily pleased. She has no morals whatsoever.
Jaime's guilt over his attack on Cersei reminds him of his oath to get Sansa back to her mother. Seeing as Catelyn is dead he hires Brienne to look for after her. He gives her his sword which was created from Robb Stark's sword and tasks her to use it to protect Sansa. Brienne accepts and also gets Podrick as her new squire.
This is part of Tyrions thank you to Pod. This new job gets him out of the city and away from the hands of Cersei. Pod and Brienne are like oil and water. This will be fun.
Brienne and Jaime say their goodbyes. They obviously care about each other but it's clear Brienne has fallen hard for Jaime. Fuck knows why.
At the wall Sam is missing Gilly. He's also informed Jon about his run in with Bran. Yet another thing for Jon to worry about. Bran won't do well in Wildling territory.
Jon is called before Thorne. He's sanctioning the attack on Craster's keep in the hope Jon will die. Grenn, Edd and Locke amongst others volunteer to go along. Little do Jon and Locke realise both will be on the look out for Bran along the way. One to save him and one to kill him.
Craster's Keep is a vision of hell. The rogue Night's Watch men have gone feral. Raping Craster's daughters and drinking wine from the skulls of their enemies. They are led by Karl Tanner. A horrible man who makes what Craster was doing there before look civilised.
In the time since the mutiny and his death, Craster's last son has been born. His daughter's are still brainwashed and see the son as a "gift for the gods", the sacrifice Jon Snow saw happening once.
Rast, one of the mutineers is asked to deliver the child into the night, an offering. He walks the child into the woods and leaves him there for the beings that live in the darkness.
If it worked for Craster it should work for them too. A peace offering to keep the mutineers safe from the White Walkers.
Nearby Bran, Hodor, Jojen and Meera hear the sacrificial baby crying in the distance. Being dopes they investigate and realise Jon's Direwolf Ghost is nearby too.
Meera senses these are Night's Watch men gone bad and wants to leave, The others won't listen and before long they're captured. They are explorers, not fighters. they should have kept going north instead.
Hodor is tortured outside. Bran is questioned inside. Before long he's giving up his identity to save his friends. The mutineers now realise they have someone very important to Jon Snow.
In the far north a pale rider crosses the plain. A White Walker on a horse. He has Craster's last son. He's bringing him to the home of the Night King. The main White Walker. He touches the childs cheek and the child is instantly transformed into the undead. So that's how they build their army.
A couple of big things answered in this episode. Joffrey's killer revealed and more information about the White Walkers and where they come from. Good stuff. Next one should be fun too.
Next up - First of His Name
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 4 - 1 2 3
It's fair shit when your body betrays you ain't it. One day, walking to the bus to go home and 30 seconds later you're paralysed with pain and holding on to a bin for dear life so you don't fall over. Then you get to spend the next 48 hrs of your life in the hell that is Limerick A&E praying you don't catch MRSA or get punched by a pissed up muppet. Then you have to fast for 24 hrs and be tortured by the bastards in the next room who've snuck chinese food into their mother. Then you get wheeled into an operating theatre to have a stent installed into your kidney so the stone doesn't block it up. It's here where you are struck by an intense feeling of existential terror "Hmmm, what if i don't wake up etc". Then you do eventually wake up, pure drowsy, before falling headfirst into a night of drugged up horror dreams. You then start the next day by (sorry for this) urinating about a pint of blood, which even though you know is to be expected, is never not a terrifying thing to look down at. Finally you get a slice of toast which is the nicest thing you'll ever taste and then you feel confident you can walk around which haha doesnt work out and you end up staggering around like a 96 year old drunk. The joys of a general anaesthetic. Then you get told you've to visit another hospital every friday for the next 4 weeks to get the stone vaporised by blasts of ultrasound ensuring you'll be peeing ground glass for the month to come. OH WHAT AN ADVENTURE.
Kidney stones are absolute motherfuckers. I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. Shite weekend aside the staff of Limerick A&E are brilliant. They get everything done but there's just not enough of them by far. I'm amazed they aren't dropping like flies. The place gets a bad rap but you cannot fault the nurses and the support staff. Legends all of them.
Whinge over.
Joffrey is dead. Ha. So long you melt. Cersei is destroyed. Tyrion is getting the blame. They notice Sansa is missing.
She's on the run with Ser Dontos. They belt through King's Landing. He brings her to a secret dock. She has no choice but to trust him. He brings her out to a ship in the harbour.
It's Littlefinger. Ugh. He came back for her. Ser Dontos gets an arrow in the face for his troubles. Littlefinger is leaving no trail. Once again Sansa is traumatised.
Littlefinger promises her she's safe. Sansa, do yourself a favour and jump overboard. You'll stand a better chance in the water. Do not trust this snake.
Margaery is rattled. Only married a day and already a widow. And because the marriage was never consummated she isn't queen either. Her granny Olenna tries to comfort her but it just isn't in her nature to be nice to anyone.
The Tyrell's are in a quandry. Loras marrying Cersei is their last chance at power. Olenna has another plan up her sleeve. Joffrey's younger brother Tommen, Cersei's other son is now in her sights as marriage material.
Joffrey's body is laid out in a style befitting a king. Cersei is protecting him still. Tywin tells Tommen he is to be the next King. He's only a child. He hasn't a clue. He's just lost his brother and he's getting no time to mourn. I feel kinda bad for him.
Tywin is going to mould him into a good King. A far better one than Joffrey. He has no qualms about insulting him in front of his mother. Cersei is too distraught though to care.
Cersei is eventually left alone with her dead son until Jaime arrives to mourn with her. She's certain Tyrion is to blame for all this. Jaime doesn't believe it's in Tyrion's nature.
Jaime's nature is something else though. He kisses Cersei. She's in mourning and pushes him away. He then rapes her beside her dead son's body in a horrific scene. His sister. All his earlier redemption is gone out the window. Scumbag.
Arya and The Hound are still on the way to the Vale. Her confidence in dealing with him is growing. She's not really afraid of anyone anymore.He's planning on crossing the sea to become a sell sword, maybe with the Second sons. Arya has plans for Bravos.
They're interrupted by a farmer and his daughter. Two kindly souls who offer them room and board. Fingers crossed the Hound behaves himself. They hear the the Frey massacre is now called the Red Wedding. It's news that has horrified the country.
He offers them both work and lets slip he has money hidden away. The Hound's interest is piqued. Arya knows he's planning to rob them.
And rob them he does. But he hasn't killed them. He's changing. A little bit. Looks like hanging with Arya is having some kind of positive effect on him.
At Castle Black Ser Allister Thorne is giving Sam a hard time. No one believes he could kill a White Walker. They're also eyeing up Gilly. Sam is worried about her. He doesn't trust the chastity vows of the Night's Watch men.
In Dragonstone Stannis is delighted with the news Joffrey is dead. The second person named during Melisandre's blood ritual is now gone. But he's pissed off that Davos hasn't built him an army yet. Later during a reading lesson with Shireen he comes up with a plan that involves borrowing money from the Iron Bank of Bravos.
Sam brings Gilly to Molestown. It's a rough and ready place but she'll be safe here. She's heartbroken, feeling like Sam is abandoning her. He's upset too. He's fallen for her.
In King's Landing Oberyn and Ellaria are deep into an orgy *gratuitous nudity klaxon*. They really know how to enjoy themselves don't they. Their fun is interrupted by a disapproving Tywin Lannister. Ha, he has a face like thunder.
He suspects Martell involvement in Joffrey's death. Oberyn Martell is having none of it. He had nothing against Joffrey and no reason to murder him.
He does have something against Tywin though. He suspects Tywin ordered the Mountain to rape and kill his sister Ellia Martell. He tells him straight out. Tywin denies involvement. Oberyn demands an audience with the Mountain. Tywin agrees but as payment asks Oberyn to be a judge at the trial of Tyrion who's been formally accused of killing Joffrey.
Tyrion has been captured and locked up in a cell to await judgement. He looks resigned to his fate. He's visited by his squire Podrick who sneaks him in provisions. He asks what people believe about him. He isn't happy with what he hears.
He asks for Sansa to be a character witness for him. He's shocked to hear she's done a legger and wonders was it her who killed Joffrey. Common sense tells him no she didn't. He doesn't have many people on his side.
Podrick himself has been asked to testify against Tyrion too. His loyalty won't let him but if he doesn't he may be killed. Tyrion warns him of this, asks him to find Jaime for him and to get out of King's Landing. A sad goodbye scene here.
In the north a small village finds itself under attack from Tormund's wildling's on a provision hunt. The Thenn are with them, cannibalistic wildlings, horrible bastards. Ygritte murders a young boy's father in front of him. All the villagers are massacred. It's a truly brutal moment. The only survivor is the boy who's sent to Castle Black to spread the word.
At the wall the news horrifies the NIghts Watch but they must protect the wall, it's their first priority. Even Jon admits this surprising Ser Allister.
The sound of a horn alerts them to returning Rangers. It's Grenn and Edd, last seen fighting rogue rangers at Craster's Keep. The rogues are still holding the keep and taking advantage of Craster's daughter wifes.
Mance Rayder will be upon them soon. He'll find out from them just how pitiful the Castle Black defences are from them. Jon and the night's watch have to ride North again to kill the mutineers before Mance can torture information out of them.
Across the sea Daenerys and her army have reached Meereen. The slaves crucified along the way have her enraged and she's ready to destroy the city and free all it's slaves.
Instead of a big battle they are faced with a single rider. A champion fighter. He'll take on a champion of Daenerys choosing. The winner will get Meereen. She chooses Daario despite Ser Jorah's objections. Daario eviscerates him in seconds in a hilarious moment.
Daenerys then speaks to the slaves of the city, offering them their freedom if they choose to take it. Her catapaults fire the collars of the slaves she's already freed into the air. It's a statement and a half.
Good episode. Pity about the brutal denouement to the scene between Jaime & Cersei. How the hell are we expected to sympathise with his plight now. Poor Cersei. No one deserves that.
Next up - Oathkeeper
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 4 - 1 2
Taken, but better and with a splash of notions. That's a good way to describe Cold Pursuit. It's a modern day Neeson action film by the numbers but there's more than enough odd humour and strange little touches to lift it above the mire. Of course due to the nonsense that tumbled out of Neeson's idiotic mouth during an interview last week most people will overlook it now. It's a pity. If this had been a success it could have given his career the boot up the arse it needed to stop it stagnating. This may be his last leading role for a while I'd imagine.
Nelson Coxman lives in a ski resort called Kehoe, a place holed away in the Rocky Mountains. He runs a snow plough business, he's just been made citizen of the year, life is good. Then his son dies of a supposed heroin overdose which tears Nelson's life apart. He's frenzied with grief until he gets word that his son's death was no accident. Now he has a purpose for living. Revenge. Revenge against a drug lord named Viking Calcote. Viking hasn't a clue what's happening and blames a rival gang. Before long the Rocky Mountains are splattered red.
This is a shot for shot remake of the 2014 Norwegian thriller 'In Order Of Disappearance'. It's even directed by the same person, Hans Petter Moland. If you've seen it you'll know exactly what to expect. Even if you haven't you're probably going to enjoy it. It's Liam Neeson murdering bad guys but it's funnier, stranger, quirkier and... well better than anything he's done in the last decade. Moland and screenwriter Frank Baldwin take their time and create an unusual little sandbox for Coxman to cause havoc in. The henchman who die in their dozens throughout the film aren't the usual faceless cannon fodder we've come to expect. They get back stories, ridiculous nicknames, grim perversions, they like to have fun, they take advantage of white guilt in hilarious moments, they even get to have love lives. It's a weird thing to see because it rarely happens and it adds a nice depth to a movie where you'd expect none.
Because of this the first half of the film is a highly enjoyable watch. Storylines and characters get moved into place like pieces on a chessboard. The care taken with it all will have you expecting a very special ending indeed and sadly it's here where the film falters. Coxman's revenge mission is pushed to one side as we spend more and more time with the gangs he'll fight against and the film loses some of it's earlier propulsion as a result. When the fireworks are finally lit it all becomes very generic. Characters we've grown to enjoy vanish in bursts of blood. Oh, it's all satisfying crunchy but it's nothing we haven't seen a billion times before.
Neeson is Neeson. He doesn't do anything new but he does it convincingly. At one point an enemy calls him an old man and he just laughs. It's good to see the movie acknowledging his aging action man status because all his other action flicks just seem to ignore it. It's nice to see William Forsythe popping up as his brother Brock too. A mainstay in 80's and 90's action movies who's all but disappeared these days. He doesn't have a particularly big part but he adds a pleasing heft to proceedings. The only wasted actor onscreen is Laura Dern who plays the thankless part of Nelson's grieving wife. She's not in the film long enough to make an impact but thankfully other actors like Emmy Rossum and Domenick Lombardozzi make an impression in smaller parts. There's so much background colour in this film that it does genuinely give it a unique feel. That feel extends to the bad guys too. Tom Bateman as Viking is far from the usual bland blah that passes for villainy these day while Tom Jackson as a crime rival called White Bull brings a lovely dignity to his part.
I know a large slice of the potential audience for this film will avoid it due to recent news but if you find yourself with nothing to do for 2 hours this is a surprisingly good way to kill time. It's fun, it's crunchy, it's silly and it's quirky. It's exactly what you'll expect while being far from what you'd expect.
Ramsay Snow's on a hunt. The woman who seduced Theon, Myranda is with him. God only knows what they are chasing. Reek is straggling behind. Of course he's chasing a person. Because he's vile.
His quarry is a young terrified woman who soon gets shot by an arrow and then fed to his dogs. He really is a nasty piece of work and he takes great pleasure in rubbing Reek's face in the gore.
In King's Landing Jaime is dining with Tyrion. The two brothers are happy to be reunited but Jaime is troubled. He feels useless with his injury. Tyrion has a plan. He knows just the man to train Jaime, a discreet fella called Ser Bronn.
Instantly Bronn puts Jaime through his paces. Bronn takes no shit from anyone and Jaime's high position means nothing to him. It's good to see Jaime's blood stirring again. I still don't like him though.
But this is just what Jaime needs, someone who won't coddle him, someone who'll really make his work for it. I sense this could be the start of a beautiful relationship. Bronn for all his hate of high born people, really does get on well with the men of the Lannister's.
Roose Bolton arrives at Ramsay's Dreadfort along with his man Locke. We get a father and son reunion. Not exactly a touching one. He wants to see Theon Greyjoy, not knowing that Ramsay has turned him into the pathetic Reek.
He's not pleased. He was Balon Greyjoy's son and had value. He was going to trade Theon to make it easier for him to take over the north. Now he can't do that. He's wicked pissed with Ramsay.
To prove how much he's broken Reek he makes Reek shave him in front of his father. Now's Reek's chance for revenge. Will he open Ramsay's throat? Oh course he won't. He also makes Reek admit that he faked the deaths of Bran and Rickon Stark. Them actually being alive is a major pain in Roose Bolton's arse.
The news of Robb's death is another blow to Reek. But Roose has to deal with his new problem so sends his man Locke north to kill Bran and Rickon. And maybe Jon if he gets in the way. If this works out Ramsay will become a real Bolton.
In King's Landing Varys informs Tyrion that Cersei knows about him and Shae. Tyrion is terrified. He needs to get her out of there now.
Joffrey's wedding gifts are starting to pile up. He receives a huge gold goblet from Margaery Tyrell's father. From Tyrion he gets a rare book all about the lives of former kings and from Tywin he receives the second sword forged from Robb Starks sword.
Being a cunt he uses his new sword to cut Tyrion's gift in half. God he's an arse. His new sword is called Widow's Wail. Of course he calls it that, seeing as he's too much of a coward to ever use it.
In his room Tyrion has to finish things with Shae for her own safety. She's furious. He's heartbroken. Tywin killed the last whore he loved. It will happen again. He insults her until she leaves. It's a horrible scene. Genuinely upsetting.
On the island of Dragonstone Melisandre is overseeing numerous sacrifices to the Lord of Light. Stannis is burning his brother in law. Everyone is under Melisandre's spell. Everyone except Ser Davos. The whole scenario is very alienating to him.
Stannis's wife Selyse is an acolyte of Melisandre. She's speaking badly of her daughter Shireen. This causes Melisandre to take an interest in the child. This cannot possibly end well. Oh I do not trust Melisandre.
Beyond the Wall Bran is warging into his Direwolf to hunt a deer and catch them food. He's been warging a lot lately. Jojen reminds him not to do it too much as he can lose contact with his own body.
While they are on the move he has yet another three eyed raven vision. Someday this will all make sense. He also sees white walkers, his accident, the iron throne, his father and a dragon over King's Landing.
But mostly importantly he sees their destination. The person he needs to talk to is beneath a distinctive tree in the north. Finally.
In the South Joffrey's wedding day has arrived. It's a lavish affair. Joffrey is looking smug as shit. The faces in the crowd don't look quite as happy.
Afterwards Olenna Tyrell and Tywin Lannister are taking hops off each other. Two great characters clashing brilliantly. They don't like each other and have no shame in no hiding it.
Bronn informs Tyrion that Shae has left the capital safety. Tyrion's relief and sadness are palpable. Bronn knows Tyrion did the right thing by her but he hates himself for it.
Olenna Tyrell gives her condolences to Sansa. She needs a friendly face right now and Olenna seems to genuinely like her. It's obvious she's being nice to her for a reaon but that reason isn't quite clear just yet.
Even though it's his wedding day Joffrey still insists on acting like a pig. Margaery wants to smooth some of his rougher edges off though so announces that that all the leftover food from the wedding will be given to the poor of King's Landing. Cersei is incensed that this simple act makes Margaery look fantastic.
Oberyn Martell is giving Loras Tyrell the eye. Loras looks receptive until he bumps into Jaime who warns him that his marriage to Cersei will be a disaster. Loras fires back at Jaime, hinting that he knows Jaime is just jealous. Brother/sister love is hard to keep a secret.
Brienne rocks up to pay her respects to her new Queen. Cersei takes an instant dislike to her because of her closeness to Jaime. She assumes Brienne is in love with Jaime. Brienne denies it but Cersei might actually be onto something there.
Cersei takes out her rage on Maester Pycelle. Threatening to have him killed if he doesn't ensure the feasts leftovers go to the hounds instead of the city's poor as per Margaery's instructions. She's a bitter wagon who can't stand things not going her way. For some reason though she's growing into one of my fave characters and I don't know why.
Cersei and Tywin are next confronted by Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand. Oberyn wastes no time in bringing up with death of her sister while reminding Cersei that her daughter Myrcella is all alone in Dorne. Ohh. Loads of threats in a few words. I love it. Tywin does not.
Joffrey has a treat for everyone. A play that rips the piss out of all his enemies. One that makes Tyrion look like a fool. One that hints at the affair between Loras Tyrell and Renly Baratheon and one that makes a joke of the death of Robb Stark. Sansa is understandably horrified.
Everyone is raging at Joffrey. Tyrion's words shame him in front of everyone. To calm the waters Tyrion pours him a goblet of wine and serves it to him. Joffrey drinks it and goes down fast.
He's been poisoned. Ser Dontos grabs Sansa in the furore and they run. Jaime runs to help his son. Cersei holds her son in her arms as he struggles to breath. As he chokes he points at Tyrion. Then he's gone. The king is dead. Good riddance.
Brilliant stuff. The most hateful shitebag in Westoros is dead and he suffered brilliantly. I love the episodes that limit the to-ing and fro-ing. They are always the best ones.
Next up - Breaker Of Chains
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 4 - 1
Season 4 opens with Robb Stark's ancestral sword, Ice, being melted down. An act overseen by Tywin Lannister. It's split in two. Two swords from one. There's a phallic thing going on here but I can't be arsed to go into it.
One of the swords goes to Jaime Lannister. His first Valerian steel sword. He can't use it yet so will have to learn to fight with his remaining hand. He's also informed that he can't serve in the Kings guard with one hand but he has a way around that.
Tywin's other son Tyrion is on the King's Road with Pod and Ser Bron waiting for some new visitors. The Prince of Dorne, Oberyn Martell is coming to be a guest at Joffrey's wedding.
Pod has superior knowledge of the houses of Dorne. Tyrion and Bronn havent a clue. He's a decent squire.
The visitors don't think much of Tyrion. He gets no respect from anyone, visitors or his own.
Prince Oberyn is straight into the brothels of King's Landing. He's not a shy fella. Either is his wife Ellaria. They both like to indulge *Gratuitous nudity klaxon* Both of them are bisexual as hell and they are going to enjoy their time here.
That fun time is soon ruined by a run in with Lannister men. It's obvious Prince Oberyn doesn't like the Lannister's. The soldier he has a run in with is maimed straight away and Tyrion gets to witness the whole bloody scene.
Oberyn Might be here for the wedding but he's also here on a quest. He wants to kill the man who raped and murdered his sister Elia. Elia was once married to the Mad King Targaryen and when he was killed by Jaime she was killed by another Lannister acolyte.
None other than Ser Gregor Clegane, The Mountain. The brother of The Hound. That will be an interesting clash if it comes to pass.
Oberyn isn't hiding his plan. He wants Tywin Lannister to know exactly why he's at the wedding. He wants blood and he aint leaving til he gets it. He's an interesting character. I like him. I hope he sticks around.
Across the sea in Yunkai Daenerys is looking content. So are her dragons who are growing at an exponential rate it seems. They are getting scary looking now. And she's starting to realise they'll never be fully tame.
Her army is on the march to Meereen. The next Slaver's bay city is on her hit list. Her army is humongous now but it's leaders Daario Nahaaris and Grey Worm are bonding with each other and not taking things seriously. Grey Worm seems to be taking a shine to Missandrei too. Aww thats nice for him.
Sansa is still in mourning for her mam and brother unsurprisingly. The gory details of their deaths has filtered through. Shae is worried, as is Tyrion. It will be a while before she's ok again. The poor dote.
Meanwhile Shae wants to nail Tyrion. It's been too long since they were together. Tyrion is terrified they'll be caught. Be wary Tyrion, don't piss her off too much. She tells Tyrion of Varys' offer to her. She thinks it was his idea.Now she's mega pissed. And it's all been witnessed by Sansa's other handmaid.
Qyburn has created a golden hand for Jaime. It's a gift from Cersei to help his balance. He feels like a lemon with it on. Her and Jaime talk about their broken, twisted relationship and the fact that their daughter Marcella is in Dorne all alone.
Cersei's pissed off with Jaime. He's been away too long. They are soon interrupted by the haidmaid who witnessed Shae & Tyrion's kerfuffle. I wonder what she has to tell them???
In the North Tormund and Ygritte especially are still stinging from Jon Snow's betrayal. They are waiting for Mance Rayder to tell them what to do next. Tormund knows Ygritte let Jon live and he's angry. Reinforcements turn up to fight with them. Cannibalistic wildlings called the Thenns. Men who make the Wildlings look like a shower of Pikachu's.
Preparation for the coming battle with the undead is taking place at Castle Black. Jon has just found out about Robb. He's heartbroken. He also has to deal with the fact that he killed a fellow ranger, Qhorin. A fact that Ser Thorne is going to make the most of.
Jon tells them they have bigger problems. Mance Rayder and his army of 100000 wildlings for one. Plus Tormund and his gang are here already. They plans to attack Castle Black from the south while Mance attacks from the north.
In King's Landing. Olenna and Margaery Tyrell are discussing the wedding. Nothing is pleasing Olenna. Apart from the appearance of Brienne of Tarth. She's there to talk to Margaery about the death of her husband Renly. One day she will kill Stannis to avenge Renly.
Jaime is planning wedding security with Joffrey and ser Meyn Trant. Oh I hope it all kicks off at this wedding, Bad things do tend to happen at Westoros weddings.
Joffrey is ranting about his battlefield prowess. Both other men in the room know he's full of shit but let him talk away. It's a joy seeing him prove how much of a cunt he is. His lack of respect towards Jaime is telling. Obviously he doesn't know who his real father is.
On the march to Meereen Dario Nahaaris tries his hand with Daenerys. He's a pure charmer. It's obvious she fancies him but doesn't know what to make of him. A shout interrupts his flirting. Something horrible has been found.
Slaves are crucified the full length of the road to Meereen. It's slave owner revenge for the sacking of Yunkai. Daenerys is furious. 100's lay dead on the road ahead of them. But she's going to pay her respect to all of them. Then decimate Meereen.
Brienne and Jaime look down on Sansa who's in the gardens looking for solace. Brienne harangues Jaime to follow through on his promise to deliver the Stark girls to their mother. However she's dead and Arya is missing. There's not much he can do in fairness
In the garden Sansa is approached by a very drunk Ser Dontos. Once a knight and now Joffrey's fool. He gives her a wedding present. It's an odd scene. I've a feeling he's getting her to remember his face for some reason.
A grieving Arya is still with the Hound. He's now bringing her to the Vale to ransom her to her aunt Lysa Arryn. He's all about the cash.
They stumble across a massacre and later in a tavern stumble across the men who did it. They're Lannister's. Arya recognises one of them as a soldier who killed her friend Lommy and then captured them and took them to Harrenhal. She spots he has her sword. She wants revenge. The Hound wants food. Now their chance for both.
They enter the tavern. Arya's enemy recognises the Hound straight away because he works for his brother the Mountain He offers him a job. Predictably the Hound tells him to fuck off. It kicks off. The Hound destroys them. Except one. He leaves the last one from Arya.
He relishes the opportunity. She takes back her sword from him and them slowly pushes it through his neck. She's become a killer through and through. Her childhood is over. Her innocence is lost.
A pretty excellent start to season 4 all in all. I'm expecting fireworks in the next episode too.
Next up - The Lion and the Rose
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
