The wedding massacre is complete. Inside anyway. Outside Castle Frey the Stark army is fighting a losing battle.
Amidst the chaos The Hound is escaping with Arya when they stumble across an appalling sight. The decapitated body of Robb Stark being paraded about with the head of his Direwolf Grey Wind balanced on his shoulders. Arya gets to bear witness to the whole gory scene.
In King's Landing an oblivious Sansa is coming to terms with her new husband Tyrion. Hell they are even getting along. All under the watchful eye of Shae, Sansa's handmaid, Tyrions, secret lover.
Tyrion is called to a council meeting with Tywin, Joffrey and Cersei. Joffrey is like a giddy child. The news of Robb Stark's death has filtered south. Joffrey orders Robb's head to be sent to him so he can serve it to Sansa at his wedding. What a cunt.
Tyrion nips it in the bud. Joffrey throws a hissy fit. Tywin makes Joffrey feel like a child. Joffrey is pissing everyone off. People are getting sick of him.
Tyrion knows the Freys may have killed the head of the Stark's but that it was Tywin that gave the nod. Roose Bolton is now the warden of the North until Sansa has a son sired by Tyrion. No pressure at all eh.
Now all he has to do is break the news to Sansa that her mother and older borther are dead. When he goes to do so he finds out she already knows. Your heart would actually break for her.
In the North Bran's gang of himself, Jojen, Meera and Hodor have reached the wall. The Night fort to be exact. Hmmm. Someone else is heading to the Night fort too.
In Castle Frey, Walder Frey is sneering over his part in the successful massacre. He's killed the Tully name, he's now the lord of Riverrun, he got his revenge on Robb Stark. Not a bad day's work for a horrible old bastard.
Not everyone died in the massacre though. Catelyn Stark's uncle Blackfish escaped through sheer luck. Frey doesn't care. Roose Bolton is a bit more wary. He's the warden of the north now. He has to be. All that time he spent with Robb Stark and he could stab him face to face. Very two faced fella.
Frey asks will Roose move to Winterfell. He explains his bastard son Ramsay destroyed Winterfell while taking down Theon. SO!!! This answers a question. The man torturing Theon all this time was Roose Bolton's son, Ramsay Snow.
We cut to Ramsay, goading the now castrated Theon. Theon looks like a broken man & begs for the release of death but Ramsay needs him. Probably as a bargaining chip when dealing with his father Balon Greyjoy. Ramsay has a new name for Theon as well. Reek.
In the Night fort Bran's dog Summer senses someone else in the building. The someone else? Sam, Gilly and baba. Sam sees the Direwolf and realises who Bran is. He's Jon's brother. He knows all about Bran. He offers to help in anyway.
Bran wants to go North of the wall. This is the one thing Sam won't help him with.
A parcel arrives at the Iron Islands and is delivered to Balon Greyjoy. Attached is a threat for all Iron Islanders to retreat from the north. In the parcel is Theon's sliced off genitalia. Balon denies all claim to Theon now that he can't continue the Greyjoy lineage but Yara, his sister sets out to rescue him from the Bolton dreadfort where he's being held. I like Yara.
In the nightfort Sam introduces Bran to Dragonglass and tells him of it's power. They separate. Bran's gang go beyond the wall and Sam and Gilly head along the wall to Castle Black.
On Dragonstone Ser Davos meets Gendry, who's now locked up where Davos used to be. They bond over being from the same poor part of King's Landing.
In King's Landing Shae is approached by Varys. He knows she's Tyrion's lover. Varys offers her diamonds to go home and give Tyrion a clear mind. She assumes Varys has come from Tywin so declines the gift. But Varys is being genuine. He's doing this for the country.
The pressures of it all are pushing Tyrion towards drink. Cersei comes to visit and senses Tyrions pain. Her suggestion? Have a baby. It worked for her. Joffrey's arrival killed her pain during her marriage to King Robert.
Arya and the Hound are on the move when they come across a group of Frey men discussing the massacre. Arya befriends them before knifing one to death. The Hound steps in and minces the rest. He then scolds her like an angry father. It's small but it feels like revenge to her.
Up North Jon is still on the run back to Castle Black. Ygritte is fast and catches up with him. His betrayal is killing her. Nothing like a woman scorned. He talks her into letting him go but as he turns he fires 3 arrows into him. Hardy buck that Jon is he's able to keep riding wounded. She obviously didn't aim to kill.
Sam has arrived back to Castle Black. Gilly's in tow. Maester Aemon is troubled but decides to let her stay if she helps out once he realises her child is a son of Craster and not Samwell Tarley.
Sam's eyewitness news of the army of the dead is even more troubling than a girl at the wall. Sam now has to write a letter to be sent south by raven, all about what he has witnessed. It must go now,
On Dragonstone Davos, who has been taught to read by Shireen, daughter of Stannis, is the first to read the letter from Sam. Stannis then imforms him of the death of Robb Stark. Melisandre takes credit for his death after her ritual with Gendry's blood.
They now plan to sacrifice Gendry's life to see what that will do for them. Davos thinks it's a brutal idea. So he frees him. Gets him a boat and sets him asail. God only knows when we'll see Gendry again.
Jon finally turns up to Castle Black looking like a porcupine with the arrows in his back. Luckily for him Sam and Pyp recognise him. He's home. He'll be ok.
He's not the only one home. Jaime has finally made it to King's Landing along with Brienne & Qyburn. The three of them look rattled. No one recognises him. Cersei can scarcely believe it when she sees him. Her brother is home. Her lover is back. SHUDDER!!
Stannis is raging that Davos let Gendry go. Melisandre wants his head. But Davos has information about the future. He's read Sam's letter. He knows there's an army of the undead marching South. Mel looks into the fire and sees it's the truth. Stannis will need him. He's safe for now.
Across the sea Yunkai now belongs to Daenerys and her now massive army. The slaves of Yunkai swarm out to witness to woman who freed them. But according to her she didn't give them their freedom as it's there for them to take.
They love her. They call her Mhysa, the valerian word for Mother. Her army has now instantly tripled in size. She'll be ready to take on the world soon.
A fine finale. No way could it hope to live up to the last episode but it has spent its time laying a lot of foundations for next season. Plus that finale shot is amazing. A blast of light in a sea of gloom.
Next up - Two Swords
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Horror is full of sequels no one wanted. Any modern horror film that does well these days is a potential start to a franchise it seems. It's usually a nuisance. Non stop retreads that add little to the original film and in most cases turn out so badly that they end up tarnishing the original altogether. Every now and then though we get a sequel that works. One that adds to the original and maybe even makes it seem better in retrospect. It's rare but it happens. Very rare tbh because Scream 2 is the only example I can think of offhand. But now we have Happy Death Day 2U. A highly enjoyable sequel that no one asked for from a film no one saw in the first place. Well I saw it (review here) but for my sins I watch everything.
Tree is launched back into her old routine of dying every day only to be instantly resurrected. Her head is fried because she assumed she'd put her tussles with the baby faced serial killer behind her. She thought she was out and before long she realises a science experiment on her college campus has created a time/space anomaly and of course she's at the centre of it all. Alternate timelines of her life are everywhere. She needs to end the experiment so she can start living again. But then she realises that living in an alternate timeline might be better than the one she's trying to get back to...
This was a blast. The first film was fun but this one really shakes the shit out of the formula. Mind boggling time travel flicks like Back To The Future 2 and Primer will come to mind during this. Ok, it's not quite as confusing as those two but it will certainly give your brain a bit of a bruising. It takes the slasher movie by way of Groundhog day story of the original movie and adds a post modern & very knowing sheen to proceedings. The killer story becomes almost a subplot as we watch Tree struggle with the emotional toll of living in a world where her life has taken a very different turn. It's here the film......believe me, this was a surprise......actually starts to build itself a bit of depth, starts to gain a couple of layers and amazingly makes us care about it's thinly drawn characters. Any horror movie that can make you care about it's lead is doing it's job well. Believe me, I've seen enough bad ones to recognise the rare ones doing it right.
It's raison d'etre is to entertain though and it does so in spades. Watching Tree experience her day for the 400th time while everyone around her experiences it as new is never not funny. One of the joys of the original film was trying to guess how Tree would die everyday. We get that again but we also get, for reasons I won't go into, a montage of self inflicted death that some may sound offensive but it's all done in such a silly way that you'll end up just laughing at the chaos. It's not done for shock value either, it feels organic and does genuinely move the story forward. Like the original it all moves like a freight train too. No pauses for rest. It's a nice neat 100 minutes long and manages to pack nearly 200 minutes worth of madness in. I love a film that doesn't outstay its welcome.
Jessica Rothe as Tree keeps everything moving. She has a whale of a time here, packing in slapstick, scream queen antics and even a heart breaking moment or two. Everyone from the original returns too, even the dead (gotta love time travel). Pick of the bunch is Phi Vu as Ryan who makes the most of a much expanded role. Rachel Matthews as Danielle is the one dud note of the film. Her character Danielle is a cipher throughout and when actually called on to do something near the end of the film delivers a scene of farce so painful that you'll watch it through your fingers. It's an odd choice. God only knows what writer/director Christopher Landon was smoking when he wrote it but it's so stupid that it lifts you right out of the film at a time when you should be gnawing your fingers off. It's bad but thankfully it's not film ruiningly bad. The rest does enough right to help us overlook it.
An entertaining watch. But one that really should only be attempted if you've seen the first installment. There's a little recap of the original but it's only there to jog the memories of those of us who've seen it. If you haven't you'll be totally lost. Watch the first one and then go see this. You'll enjoy yourself.
This is it. Probably the most infamous episode of Game Of Thrones to date. Will it be as horrifying as I remember? Most likely.
Robb still plans to take Casterley Rock. Catelyn isn't sure. She sees danger. Robb needs to destroy the Lannisters. Taking their ancestral home will shame Tywin Lannister.
He's telling his mother his plans because the last time she gave him advice (about not trusting Theon) he ignored it and their home, Winterfell, ended up destroyed.
Now he wants her advice again and this time he's going to listen. They can take Casterley rock if Walder Frey gives them men. Catelyn gives him the nod. she wants to destroy the Lannisters.
In the meanwhile they arrive at Castle Frey for the wedding between Edmure Tulley and Roslin Frey. Straight away Robb apologises for breaking his promise to marry a Frey. Frey makes him work for his apology. He's a nasty bastard. Which he really proves by perving on Talisa.
He's humiliated them both. It's time for a wedding.
Across the sea outside Yunkai Daario Nahaaris is slotting in well with Daenerys. His presence is rankling Jorah. His knowledge of Yunkai is priceless though and he has a plan to take it over.
Beyond the wall Sam, Gilly and baba are planning their escape south. The Nightfort will be their way out. His knowledge of the wall astounds her. His devouring of books as a young lad is finally paying off.
Arya and The Hound are still on their way to the Frey's wedding. But first they need to eat and luckily stumble across a trader on the way to the wedding too. Arya persuades the Hound to just rob him instead of killing him. Hmmm. She's found his human side. He's protecting her. They might just get on well together.
Bran's gang are heading north and take shelter in an old mill that's been ravaging by Wildling attacks in the past. This part of the world is deserted. Or is it.
Jon and his Wildling party are about to raid a farm for gold and horses. Jon knows the owner and dreads what will happen to him so manages to warn him before he can be killed.
Arya and the Hound take a rest a stones throw from Frey's. She just wants to get to her mother and brother. The Hound insists there's no rush as he fills his guts from the trader's cart.
He admonishes her for being afraid. She turns the tables on him. She's seen him afraid as well. During the battle with Beric Dondarrion. His phobia is fire. She knows why too.
In the mill Bran and Jojen discuss how they'll get by the wall. Hodor is terrified of the thunder around them. Meera spots the owner riding by chased by Wildlings. Jon must be nearby!!!
Hodor's fear of the thunder makes him roar. The Wildlings will hear them. There's only one way to stop him. Bran wargs into his mind. He can control people as well as animals. Interesting.
Outside the Wildlings have captured the farm owner. Orell wants Jon to kill him as a final display of loyalty. Jon can't bring himself to do it so Ygritte does instead.
Jon and Bran are so close to each other it's painful. If only they knew where each other was,
Tormund and Orell are mightily disappointed in Jon. And even more disappointed in Ygritte when she fights with Jon against them. She knocks her to the ground and fights. Tormund and her have their own little battle as he makes her look at who Jon really is.
Inside the mill Bran wargs into his direwolf Summer who then attacks the Wildlings. Bran is helping his bastard brother Jon without realising it. Jon takes down Orell and rides off, much to the horror of Ygritte. Oh Jon, you've really pissed her off.
Daario Nahaaris meanwhile sneaks Jorah and Greyworm into Yunkai. All they have to do is take out a few slave owners and the slaves will turn to their side. There's quite a few more owners than they expected but they of course mince them all.
At Castle Frey the celebrations have kicked off. The Stark soldiers are all pissed and happy outside while the wedding of Roslin and Edmure takes place inside. Roose Bolton's bannermen have joined the party I see.
Edmure is pleased as punch to find out he's marrying one of the prettier Frey's. Everything is going nice and smoothly. Even Catelyn is smiking. Ronn and Talisa look relaxed.
Bran is slightly rattled by the knowledge of his new found power. He can warg into any animal or person whenever he wants. He also saw Jon through Summer's eyes. He sends Rickon away with Osha to protect him while he continues his journey north for answers. Another brotherly goodbye for the Starks.
Daario, Jorah and Greyworn rock up looking bloodsplattered and smug. It's done. Yunkai has been sacked. It now belongs to Daenerys.
The wedding celebrations meanwhile are getting lively. Everyone is pissed and full of food. Edmure is a happy camper. Catelyn and Roose Bolton are having the chats. Robb and Talisa are loving life.
Frey calls for everyone's attention. It's time for the bride and groom to retire. The bedding ceremony is here. Both are carried out and the doors are locked. The doors are locked.....
It happens fast. Catelyn notices the band has started playing The Rains Of Castermere, the song of The Lannister's. She also notices Roose Bolton is wearing chainmail under his wedding clothes.
Talisa's pregnant belly gets knifed by a Frey. All the Stark guests at the wedding are swiftly cut down. Robb is punctured by crossbow bolts. As is Catelyn. Sweet jesus it's a brutally violent scene.
All this happens as Arya and The Hound arrive. What heartbreaker. She'll never be closer to her mother and brother than now. She witnesses the massacre of the Stark men outside the castle and the death of her brother's direwolf. Just as she's about to run in the Hound knocks her out and saves her.
Catelyn and Robb are still alive. Just. Frey has had his revenge. Roose Bolton murders Robb in front of his mother - "The Lannister's send their regards."
Then Catelyn has her throat slit. Mother and son are gone. Just like that. Appalling.
Jesus christ that episode still packs a punch even when you know what's coming. Whoa. Game Of Thrones at it's most stunning.
Next up - Mhysa
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Pete (Mark Walhberg) and Ellie (Rose Byrne) feel like there's something missing in their lives so decide to foster a child to fill the hole in their relationship. To get the lay of the land they join a foster scheme and soon enough they've their eye on a troubled teen called Lizzy because they've heard teens tend to get left behind. Lizzy (Isabela Moner) comes with baggage though, baggage in the form of her younger brother and sister Juan and Lita. 2 suddenly becomes 5. Can Pete and Ellie cope with this massive change?
If Instant Family was made 35 years ago by John Hughes we'd look back on it fondly now. Imagine it, Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn. Or maybe Tom Hanks and Shelley Long in a quasi sequel to The Money Pit, as a happy couple who choose to disrupt their ordered existence by fostering 3 siblings. It would be the kind of film that pops up every Christmas to make us feel good for a couple of hours. Instant Family has an odd familiarity to it and feels strangely nostalgic despite being brand new. It's because it's the kind of high concept comedy that used to pop up with alarming regularity throughout the 80s and 90s. It's a simple tale (couple fosters 3 troubled kids) that requires little thought or emotional involvement. Or so you'd think.
It works. It's funny, it's warm, it's upsetting in places. It's self aware (the Avatar mention was welcome) It's a look at a side of family life that rarely gets a glimpse yet effects hundreds of thousands of people worldwide every day. It's a story too that thankfully acknowledges the hardship involved in the foster process. The toll it can take on both parties involved, physically and psychologically. Three lovely performances from Rose Byrne, Isabela Moner and Octavia Spencer ground it while it's story gets under your skin. Coming from Sean Anders. the director of the godawful Daddy's Home I didn't have high hopes for this but surprisingly enough it got to me.
It's not all successful of course. The brilliant Margo Martindale is wasted. A bizarre Joan Cusack cameo sticks out like a sore thumb, feeling like a leftover of a subplot that was snipped away. Also the ending is so insanely cheesy you might actually development a lactose intolerance just from watching but there's enough good here to outweigh the bad. The stupid Hollywood expectations of a foster mother to be. A pair of eager to please grannies, one commited to bribery and the other letting herself be absolutely destroyed to make a child smile. A borderline criminal reaction to a dickpic. The schadenfreude felt by other foster parents when Pete and Ellie assume the honeymoon period with their new family will be an ongoing thing. The fact that the story doesn't shy from the hard parts. Hard parts that have our leads pondering just what they've let themselves in for.
It's easy to see why they fall for their new family though. They might be a little wild as a result of being in the system for a while but they're lovely, especially the protective Lizzy and the temper prone Lita (Julianna Gamiz, tiny, hilarious). Pete bonds with his new kids fast enough but Ellie finds it a struggle and soon wonders if she's maternal enough. Rose Byrne as Ellie sells her apprehension perfectly and you can't help but feel for her on her journey. Octavia Spencer and Tig Notaro add a nice dose of dark humour as the women in charge of the foster scheme too. 2 women who've been in the system for too long and who have to use humour as a coping mechanism to deal with the stupidity of it's red tape. There's a lot of it. It's a bizarre system as we find out and the only way through it is to laugh at it.
A nice way to pass a couple of hours.
Arya has been captured by The Hound. They're camping. She wakes up first and finds him sleeping. Now is her chance to knock a name off her list and kill him while he sleeps. She's not quick enough. Tut tut Arya.
He doesn't hold it against her. He means her no harm either, just plans to use her to get ransom money from her brother Robb. So off they ride to Walder Frey's where a Stark/Frey marriage is soon to happen.
Outside Yunkai, Daenerys is planning a siege of the city. Yunkai is calling in reinforcements. They won't go down easily. The reinforcements are called the Second sons. Daenerys intercepts them. These men are sell swords. They can be swayed by gold. They are not men to be trusted.
Mero, Prendahl na Ghezn and Daario Naharis lead the second sons. Mero is filth. No respect from him at all. He's pushing all the wrong buttons. She offers him a chance to fight with her anyway and gives him a couple of days to decide.
Gendry and Melisandre hit the beaches of Dragonstone. What has she in store for him I wonder? It won't be good I'm betting. He gets to meet his uncle Stannis. His first glimpse of family in a long time.
You can feel the hate dripping off Stannis. From his words we find out Gendry is to be used in a ritual. A blood ritual. Dun Dun DUNNN.
Ser Davos is still locked up by Stannis and still learning to read with Stannis's lovely daughter Shireen. He looks happy for once. Stannis then ruins his happiness by telling him about the plan for Gendry. Davos has seen black magic and knows it's wrong. Stannis won't listen though. Cos he's a dope.
But oddly he frees Davos anyway. It's like he wants Davos to do something about it all. Strange.
Back outside Yunkai the Second sons discuss working with Daenerys. Daario Naharis is the only one of them that seems anyway honorable. Mero is just scum. The kind of fella you want to see die straight away.
He decides to kill Daenerys. They draw straws to see who'll do the deed. Daario gets picked. I wonder what he'll do?
In King's Landing it's Sansa's wedding day. Her and Tyrion are about to become one. She couldn't look less pleased.
Her handmaiden Shae definitely isn't pleased when Tyrion turns up to the preparation. He's not there to be bad though. He wants to reassure Sansa that he'll never hurt her. Her fears allayed she allows herself a smile.
Margaery is meanwhile trying to worm her way in with Cersei. Not a chance. Cersei doesn't trust her for a second and has no problems with telling her so. "If you ever call me sister again, I'll have you strangled in your sleep." Whoa.
Joffrey decides to give Sansa away. He's a cunt and takes pleasure in reminding her of his part in her father's death. Sadistic little shitbag. This wedding is a lot more lowkey and Joffrey's will be to Margaery.
And it's done. The Stark's and The Lannister's are finally joined in matrimony. A marriage no one ever expected.
Melisandre visits Gendry in his chamber. He's nervous unsurprisingly. He's not quite sure what to make of her. Then she's all over him. Jesus she's not shy *Gratuitous nudity klaxon*
Soon enough he's tied to a bed getting blood sucked out of him by 3 leeches while Stannis looks on. 3 blood gorged leeches are then burned. One for each of Stannis's enemies. Robb Stark, Baelon Greyjoy and his other nephew, King Joffrey Baratheon.
At the wedding afters Tyrion is lashing into the wine to kill his pain. The Tyrells are discussing their future plans when they marry into the Lannister's. The whole thing is an incestual mess that confuses even Olenna.
Joffrey is loving the state Tyrion has gotten himself into and needles him constantly. Tywin is ashamed of his son too and wants Tyrion to consummate his marriage tonight. Don't see that happening somehow. Loras Tyrell is terrified about what he's about to marry into.
Sansa seems to be having an ok time now that she knows Tyrion expects nothing of her. Until Joffrey pops out and threatens to take Tyrion's place in the wedding bed. He's such a scumbag.
Tyrion threatens to castrate Joffrey in front of the room. He's threatened the king. A serious offence. Tywin smoothes it over but Joffrey will not forget being ashamed in front of his court and family.
Tyrion and Sansa retire to their marriage chamber. She's safe though. He's drunk but he'd never dare touch her. Their marriage will be an unconsummated one.
Back at Daenery's camp outside Yunkai a disguised Daarhio sneaks through her camp on his way to her tent. He puts a knife to Missandrei's throat. It's looking bad for her. No sign of Selmy or Jorah to save her.
Until he dumps the heads of Mero and Prendahl na Ghezn at her feet. He's fallen for her mission and is now pledging his life to her. And his army. Sweet.
The morning after the wedding finds Tyrion in a bad way. Shae turns up to see did he touch Sansa. His keeping of his word pleases her.
In the north Sam and Gilly and her baba are still heading south. This is all new territory to her and she's terrified. Craster's Keep was a bad place but at least it was predictable.
They stop for the night and she decides it's time to discuss a name for her son. Craster's sons never lasted long enough to be named so this is a unique opportunity for her. Sam's offering of names don't work for her but they bond when talking about their fathers.
Things are nice until a disturbance outside forces Sam to investigate. Please don't do it Sam, you are no ranger.
There's 100's of crows outside. Crows attracted by a dark presence. The dark presence of a White Walker. The Walker has come for the child. He destroys Sam's sword and swats him aside.
Sam has one weapon left. The Dragonglass blade he found. In a last ditch attempt to save Gilly he uses it. It works. The White Walker explodes. Sam's a hero. He's made his first kill an ultra important one and he's also discovered a powerful weapon. Aboy the kid.
Great episode. The Stark Lannister union promised since day 1 of the show has happened in a way we never expected. And we find out that White Walker's aren't as indestructible as they look. Fire and dragonglass can defeat them. Now I wonder what kind of creature could combine both of these things....
Next up - The Rains Of Castermere
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Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
500 Days Of Summer Sat 16/2 TG4 @ 22.00
A simple story of boy meets girl but with a twist. Tom has fallen for Summer. She doesn't believe in any of this romantic nonsense. They spend some time together and we get to know them well. Some may find this a bit too cheesy for their tastes but if you go with it you'll find it a fun watch interspersed with moments of absolute joy. Zooey Deschanel, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Geoffrey Arend are all good value.
Brief Encounter Sun 17/2 ITV3 @ 11.05
2 people, a man and a woman fall in love with each other over a series of meetings in and around their railway station. The only problem is she's married and they live in an era where this just would not do. David Lean's 1945 drama is a stunner. One which will genuinely break your heart and maybe even ruin you day but it's so worth watching. Beautiful acting from Celia Johnson & Trevor Howard and a clever narrative twist make it one you'll remember for an age.
The Social Network Mon 18/2 TG4 @ 21.30
A Harvard student called Mark Zuckerberg claims to be the brains behind a new website called Facebook. But he's not the only one who had a hand in it. David Fincher's story about the most used website on Earth is a brilliant watch. Who would have thought a film about social media would end up as gripping as any thriller. A wicked cast brings it all together. Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Rooney Mara and Justin Timberlake all rock.
Tangerine Mon 18/2 Film4 @ 23.15
Sin-Dee Rella is a trans escort on a mission. She's just out of a month in jail and has found out her fella has been cheating on her. She sets off across Los Angeles to find them. Sean Baker's 2015 film is a highly entertaining watch. I know it doesn't sound it but it's a unique, lovely, funny and very compelling watch that you'll lose yourself in, in no time. Kitana Kiki Rodriguez as Sin-Dee is just superb.
Dr Strangelove Tues 19/2 TCM @ 19.00
General Jack. D. Ripper is trying to start World War 3 and it's up to a war room full of egotastical politicians and soldiers to just a stop to everything. Stanley Kubrick's insane masterpiece is a film that lives up to the hype. Hilarious in places, surreal in others and downright terrifying all over. The cast is amazing too and includes Peter Sellers, George C.Scott, Peter Sellers, Sterling Hayden, Slim Pickens and....Peter Sellers.
Support Your Local Sheriff Wed 20/2 Film4 @ 11.00
Jason McCullough is passing through a Colorado town when his skills come in handy and he finds himself becoming the new sheriff, a job he has no interest in. But it's easy money so he'll hang around for a while. This western parody is a very enjoyable way to pass a couple of hours. It's full of gentle comedy and manages to be a fine genre entry at the same time. James Garner is fun in the lead and gets solid support from a wealth of famous western faces including Walter Brennan & Jack Elam.
The Artist Thur 21/2 BBC4 @ 22.00
In 1920's Hollywood, a star of silent cinema meets and falls for an actress who's star is on the rise due to the introduction of sound in film. But what will this mean for his career? A glorious modern take on silent cinema that's a joy to watch and the music laid over the images on screen compliments it all perfectly. A real love letter to the movies. Jean DuJardin and Bérénice Bejo are great as the leads.
Bound Fri 22/2 The Horror Channel @ 21.00
Violet and her girlfriend Corky have a plan. A plan that involves 2 million dollars worth of mafia money and a fool to pin it's theft on. Lana and Lilly Wachoski's debut film is still a cracker. One that's clever, dark, violent, amusing, sexy and genuinely thrilling. Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon are both on fire as the leads and get good back up from Joe Pantoliano and Christopher Meloni.
The Hunted Fri 22/2 Virgin Media One @ 22.00
An ex soldier haunted by memories of the atrocities he saw in Kosovo during the Balkan war goes rogue in the Pacific north west and the only person who can take him down is the man who trained him. Tommy Lee Jones and Benicio Del Toro are very convincing in this lean, sparse and vicious action thriller from William Friedkin. The final confrontation in this is one of the best one on one fight scenes in modern movies.
Whitney : Can I Be Me Fri 22/2 BBC2 @ 23.05
The story of Whitney Elizabeth Houston, from her breakthrough at the age of 22 to her tragic death 26 years later. Nick Broomfield's documentary is a heartbreaking watch even if you weren't a fan of her music. It's searingly honest when it comes to charting her downfall and has no problem with pointing fingers at those who took advantage of her kindness and generosity. A tough watch but a worthwhile one.
The Wildlings have climbed the wall and the march south has started. Jesus they're a mad looking pack. It's strange seeing them on grass instead of ice. The plan is to march on Castle Black, another Nights Watch outpost and to decimate it.
Orell, a warg and fellow wildling, tells Jon not to get too comfortable with Ygritte, seeing as she's truly wild.
Robb and his army are marching towards Walder Frey's castle for the marriage of Catelyn's brother Edmure and Frey's daughter Roslin. Rain is delaying them and Frey won't like it. No one is taking any notice of Catelyn's warnings about Frey. He's not a man to be trusted. Someone listen to her please.
Robb and Talisa are getting it on. This is a curiously chaste love scene. That makes a change in this at times borderline pornographic show. They are happy. Way too happy. Happiness is a rare commodity in Westoros.
More happiness is sloshed on when Robb finds out he's to be a father. Scary times for a woman to be pregnant.
Jon Snow is on the receiving end of Sex-ed classes from Tormund. Tormund! A man who looks like he'd take on a donkey. That was terrifying. Seems Orell was stirring seeds of dicontent earlier. He's mad for Ygritte. This means he ain't to be trusted.
Sansa has been left behind in King's Landing. Her heart ripped apart by Littlefinger (ugh). Margaery is trying to console her. The thought of marrying Tyrion has horrified her but Margaery points out he's a man who will never mistreat her. She slowly changes Sansa's mind.
I still can't figure out if she's a good egg or a bad one. Her cards are being played very close to her chest.
Tyrion ain't pleased either. Bronn, in his own unique way tries to change his mind too. Tyrion has Shae on his mind as well. She's not one bit happy about this whole mess.
Tywin meets Joffrey. Joffrey might be literally sitting on the Iron Throne but Tywin rules the roost. Joffrey is pushing his luck with the way he takes to his grandad. Tywin is not a man to mess with.
A history lesson about the Targaryen dragons teaches Joffrey what it is to be King whilst simultaneously leaving Joffrey feeling like a scolded child. I love Tywin's way with words.
Across the sea Daenerys, her advisors, her Dothraki and her army of the Unsullied have marched on the city of Yunkai. It's a big place full of money. She doesn't want the money though. She wants to free the slaves within. Jorah doesn't get it but it's her decision.
Yunkai officials ride out to meet her. Her army is an intimidating one, especially to rich men not used to war. They try to bribe her with gold and ships. Ah lads, Daenerys Targaryen doesn't do bribes. Try harder. Free your slaves. It's the only way ye will survive.
Bribery is happening in Kings Landing too. Tyrion is trying to appease Shae with gold. She's having none of it either. She's raging. Hard to blame her. Tyrion is being a chancer asking her to stay his mistress.
If he marries Sansa their love is over. Shae, a woman scorned. Run away Tyrion. Run away fast.
Gendry is back in his home of King's Landing. But this time in the clutches of Melisandre. Oh man she has some no doubt horrible plans laying ahead for him. But first he tells him of his lineage. His father. King Robert Baratheon. He had no idea.
The Brotherhood without Banners are feeling kind of shitty about giving up Gendry, a feeling growing because of Arya's berating of them. As they plan to attack a Lannister raiding party Arya runs off. She's sick of them. Just as they are about to capture her, someone else does first. The Hound!! Fuck.
In Harrenhal Jaime is still waiting to leave and says his goodbyes with Brienne. She's in no doubt her life is over when he's gone as she'll be left with Locke. Roose Bolton once again sends his regards along with Jaime to Tywin. Hmmm. Why does he keep doing that? Isn't he with Robb Stark? Locke's parting words about Brienne freak him out too.
Theon is STILL being tortured by the unknown man. I HATE this story line. Hate it. It's cruel and sadistic and nauseating. His latest torture is a psychological one at the hands of two naked ladies *GRATUITOUS NUDITY KLAXON*
Just when he think's he's about to have a good time, evil gobshite appears and decides to flat out castrate him. Good jesus. This is just brutal.
Jon and Ygritte are on the hunt for food. We find out just how good she is with a bow and arrow. The sight of a windmill amazes her. She think's it's a palace. They don't do buildings up north. She thinks they all have an awful dose of the notions down south.
Jon thinks he might one day be able to civilise her. HA! He tries to tell her Wildlings haven't a hope in this part of the world. He's in love and afraid for her. She shows no fear though.
Bran's lil gang is still slowly making their way up North looking for Jon, not knowing he's heading south. Well that was the plan but Jojen is pushing a trip elsewhere. A trip to find the 3 eyed raven of Bran's dreams.
Osha hates the stories Jojen and Meera are telling Bran. She knows of the true horror beyond the wall, more than any of them. She's lived it.
She once had a man beyond the wall. He was taken from her and came back as the undead, one made by a white walker. She's seen them with her own eyes. And she's killed one with her own hands.
On the king's Road Qyburn checks Jaime's injury. Seems his medicine saved Jaime's life. His medicine is the same reason King's Landing kicked him out a long time ago. Seems he was fond of experiments with a very dark magical twist.
He also lets slip to Jaime that Brienne is to be tortured. Jaime's conscience prickles him and he forces a return to Harrenhal. Good man. He's finally doing something right.
Back at the castle Brienne is being forced to fight with a gigantic bear in a pit. In a dress and with a wooden sword. She's tough but doesn't stand a chance here.
He does the only thing he can when a bribe fails. He jumps into the pit. They can't let him die so have to stop the bear. He's too important a pawn to lose to a wild animal. Both of them are pulled free just in time.
He's done it. He's actually performed a selfless act for another person. Jaime Lannister of all people.
Yet another episode about people moving places but loads of character stuff going on here. Ygritte, Jon, Osha and most importantly Jaime. It's a pity that the gruelling torture Theon stuff is being dragged out so much though. No need for it.
Next up - Second Sons
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6
